Slayers: DEDICATED
by Officially Retired
Summary: In this Post-TRY saga the Slayers are drawn back together to hunt down something for everyone; perhaps even a little love! Enter Filia in Episode 013 if you can hold out! TRAD and XELFI! Very Romantic!
1. Episode 001: The Path is Discovered!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers. Hee, but I do love Cheesecake!  
_**

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_Hey guys! So as some of you may or may not remember I started writing this Post-TRY saga in '05. Hee, it was my first fan-fic so the writing isn't exactly up to par with my later work... **(-.-)**  
_

_That said I think this saga is hilarious, and I love it to pieces. Feel free to email or PM me with any questions on anything I may have come up with! It is not Rev-Compliaint (as I wrote it several years before Rev and couldn't find a good way to incorporate it into the story) but it is a lot of fun if you're fan of the original trilogy! **(n.-)**_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

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**********Episode 001: The Path is Discovered!**

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********The Clair Bible??!**  


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"Wow, that food sure hit the spot." The tall blond said.

"It sure did," his short red-haired companion agreed nodding. "But I think I have plenty of room left for desert. This inn is supposed to have the best marble cheesecake in town."

The blond drooled as the red-head snagged a waiter, "Hey three marble cheesecakes." she demanded.

"I'll get what she's having." the blond said enthusiastically.

"You want six _whole_ cheesecakes?" the waiter asked sweat dropping.

"You heard us pops," the red-head nodded, "Now step on it I'm hungry."

The waiter hurried to comply with the red-headed girl's commands and it was indeed a good thing he did. The petit, under endowed, fiery haired sorceress was none other than Lina Inverse, the infamous bandit slayer and expert wielder of one of the most feared spells known to man, the Dragon Slave.

* * *

After a delicious feast of what indeed did appear to be the best marble cheesecake in town, Lina and Gourry headed into the forest to do a little bandit hunting.

After securing the world from destruction, yet once again, Gourry had given up the Sword of Light in order to prevent from falling into the wrong hands and thereby making everything they had achieved in their little quest completely pointless. While this was indeed a noble and honorable thing to do, there was one small flaw; Gourry Gabriev was useless without his sword. As Lina cared for him deeply, and also cared a great deal for treasure, she decided it was only proper that they spend some time hunting bandits in an effort to find him a new sword of magical properties. For now, she had used some of their _acquired_ funds to forge him a new sword, which he could at least use against such simple foes as bandits.

Indeed as they snuck up on the noisy, drunken lot, Gourry had his sword already at hand, itching for a fight.

"What do you think it is?" A bandit with rather ratty hair asked the one in the red bandana, Lina noted him as most likely the leader.

The would-be leader stared at the piece of parchment rather hard and finally replied "I don't know. But maybe, just maybe, it could be a treasure map."

His men whistled in anticipation, and the ratty-looking one leaned over eagerly. "A treasure map? Do ya really think so Gored?"

Gored looked at the map again. "It certainly appears so. I just don't get what kinda treasure some bible belonging to some dame named Clair supposed to be."

There came from the bushes a rather loud choking noise as Lina fell out on to the ground in front of them and exclaimed in shock, "THE CLAIR BIBLE!"

"Lina!" Came Gourry's concerned cry as he hopped out of the bushes to check on the small sorceress who currently seemed to be unable to move on her own accord. "Lina! Are you all right?"

"Who the hell are you?" Gored asked standing up. "Not that it matters anyway, cause in a couple of seconds ya'll gonna be dead!"

This broke the spell as Lina got to her feet and smirked. "I'm Lina Inverse sorcery genius extraordinaire, and I think I'll be taking that map now."

"Lina Inverse!" Came the shocked moan. "She's wiped out nearly 3/4's of the forests bandit population in the last three days! We're doomed."

"Lina Inverse 'ey?" Gored smirked. "Okay, I'll make a deal with you. You tell me what this Clair's Bible thingy is and I'll give you all of our treasure without a fuss."

"How 'bout I Dragon Slave all of you and keep all the treasure for myself?" She offered instead.

"Ahh!" Gored said with a calculating smile. "But if you did that you'd destroy the map in the process. So come now, take my trade. I'll even let you come with me to find it."

"You win." The sorceress agreed with a small sigh and resigned smile. "Hey Gourry, plug your ears okay?"

To which the simple swordsman replied, "Huh? What's…"

"Just do it Gourry!" A furious, fanged Lina interrupted before the thinking could continue.

"O-oh-kay." He said dropping his sword to comply.

"Wow Gored!" one of the bandits whispered in awe. "This chick's bible must be pretty important if that sorceress won't even let her companion hear about it."

"Yes." Gored agreed. "I think you're right."

"Sorry about that." Lina said turning back to the group with an exasperated smile. "You see the Clair Bible is an ancient artifact of immeasurable worth. In fact it can even be used to… SLEEP."

The bandits fell over in a dead slumber.

Lina shook her head as she retrieved the map from a now soundly snoring Gored. "That was too easy. Hey Gourry!"

While he did still have his ears plugged he easily heard Lina's harsh yell to which he replied, "I'm on it!" and began relieving the rest of the bandits of their weapons and valuables.

Meanwhile Lina began studying the map. "The Path of Shanaat… " She whispered taking in the title with awe. "The path to the Eye of Chaos… the EYE OF CHAOS!"

Lina's mouth dropped open in shock.

"The Eye of Chaos is the most powerful talisman in the four worlds! It gives a mortal the ability to wield the power of the Lord of Nightmares! Unbelievable!"

She read a little more and again dropped her mouth in shock.

"The Sword of Tribute!" She looked over at her closest companion, who was currently hefting a large, greatly overstuffed sack over his shoulder, and said, "Hey Gourry! I know where we can find you a new sword!"

Gourry's eyes lit up. "A sword! All right a sword! I'll do anything for a new sword. How do we get it?"

Lina rolled up the map with a smile. "Well, first we take care of these bandits, and then we're off to Saillune."******  
**


	2. Episode 002: A Very Happy Chimera!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers. Hee, but I do enjoy my coffee!  
_**

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**********Episode 002: A Very Happy Chimera!

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********The Gang's All Back Together?**  


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The little princess stared at her reflection in the mirror with a glowing smile. Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune had only room for one thing in her mind today.

"I can't believe Mr. Zelgadiss actually came here to see me!" She said with little hearts in her eyes. "How romantic! He must have something really important to tell me."

Her daydreams were interrupted by a knock on the door. "You may enter."

The little princess stared at her reflection in the mirror with a glowing smile. Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune had only room for one thing in her mind today.

"I can't believe Mr. Zelgadiss actually came here to see me!" She said with little hearts in her eyes. "How romantic! He must have something really important to tell me."

Her daydreams were interrupted by a knock on the door. "You may enter."

"Forgive me Princess for intruding," said the servant as he knelt in the doorway, "But it appears a Miss Lina Inverse and a Mr. Gourry Gabriev are here to see you."

"Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry?" The princess wondered surprised and a bit sacred. "What are they doing here?"

She turned to the servant. "Have them escorted to the dinning hall; I'll meet them there with Mr. Zelgadiss."

"Yes Princess." He replied and left to do so.

Amelia headed down the long corridor toward the guest room the object of her affections, Zelgadiss Greywers, was staying.

"Mr. Zelgadiss." She called as she knocked on the door. "Are you busy?"

The grim chimera opened the door. "No Amelia, I was actually just getting ready to come speak with you."

"With me!" The princess exclaimed with wide eyes. "But whatever about? Mr. Zelgadiss what's wrong you look even grimmer than usual."

Zelgadiss sighed. "I have something very hard to tell you, Amelia. I found a rumor of a cure but to travel to its destination and back may take almost four years."

"So I won't see you for four years Mr. Zelgadiss!" She asked her eyes wide with sorrow.

He sighed again. "I'm afraid not Amelia. I just wish I knew where the others are so I could tell them too."

Amelia who was very close to tears suddenly exclaimed "Oh but Mr. Zelgadiss they're here!"

Zelgadiss looked at her in shock. "They are!"

"Uh huh." Amelia nodded. "That's why I was coming to get you. They just showed up and are waiting for us in the dinning hall."

"That's odd." He said, putting a hand to his chin in thought. "Why would they come here now?"

"Let's go find out Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia said and grabbed him by the arm.

"Let's." He agreed, still musing as Amelia dragged him off towards the Dining Hall.

The scene which greeted them was the total inhalation of all food on the table courteously of Lina and Gourry. Amelia currently forgot her troubles as she joined in less she not be able to eat anything at all and Zelgadiss calmly poured himself a cup of coffee and quietly watched the scene before him.

Fifteen minutes and a stack of empty plates later Lina sat back and sighed. "Ahh. That food really hit the spot. You're people sure do know how to cook Amelia."

"Em Hm." Gourry agreed. "That was really great."

"Thank you Miss Lina and you too Mr. Gourry." Amelia said with a curtsy.

"Well maybe you can show your gratitude by telling us what you're doing here." Zelgadiss spoke up.

"Zel!" Lina exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," Zelgadiss replied. "I came to Saillune to say good bye to Amelia. I'm heading out to follow up on a rumor and I'm gonna be gone quite a long time. It's a good thing you guys are here too because now I can spend some time with all of you before I head off."

Lina smirked. "Or you could come with us."

"Lina." Zelgadiss said calmly. "This may be my one chance at finding a cure."

"Of course what was I thinking?" Lina sighed in mock exasperation. "What's the Clair Bible compared to some wild rumor about a cure?"

Zelgadiss fell over, as a very confused Gourry asked. "But uh Lina, isn't the Clair Bible a cure?" To which he earned a sound smack in reply.

"The Clair Bible!" Zelgadiss asked after picking himself up off the floor. "How did you find that!"

"Oh Miss Lina that's wonderful!" Amelia squealed. "Now we can find a cure for Mr. Zelgadiss."

"Yep." Lina agreed. "It was fortunate I came across those bandits in the woods or I never would have found this."

She pulled out the map and handed it to Zelgadiss, who read it in earnest. "The Path of Shanaat, the path to the Eye of Chaos, along the border lines lie hidden copies of the Clair Bible as well as the Temple of the Rising Phoenix, the ruins which house the Sword of Tribute."

Zelgadiss looked at Lina a little suspicious, "The Eye of Chaos, the Sword of Tribute and perhaps a copy of the Clair Bible? Something for all of us, all on one map. I'm not so sure it was "fortune" that caused you to get your hands on this."

Lina nodded. "I had thought of that too, but I figure if someone went through all this trouble to pass a map like this off to some hapless bandits for me to get it we'll probably meet up with them even if we don't follow the map. Plus, just because it's a set up doesn't mean the treasures not real."

"True." Zelgadiss agreed. "But I still don't trust it."

"Oh but Mr. Zelgadiss," Amelia said. "You were just about to go off on your own for four years off some rumor. At least this way you'll have your friends with you."

Zelgadiss let out a rare chuckle. "This is true Amelia."

He turned to the red-headed sorceress. "Okay Lina, lets go find out what this little game is all about."

"All right!" Gourry said and the others laughed they couldn't have said it better themselves.

"Daddy!" Amelia squealed suddenly, running up to the gentle Crown Prince who had just entered the room.

"Amelia!" He said picking the small girl up into a bear hug before setting her down to speak with her friends. "I see your all here again, am I right in assuming your setting off on another quest for Justice!"

Lina and Zelgadiss sweat dropped as Gourry replied. "Me and Lina are gonna follow a treasure map to find me a new sword."

Lina bristled and she quickly said. "What he means is we're all on a quest to find the Clair Bible and protect it, I promised I find him a sword along the way. Heh heh." She nervously rubbed the back of her head with one hand.

"Oh okay." Prince Phil said. "Well have fun and be careful."

"We will Daddy." Amelia said giving him a good bye hug.

The gang got their supplies ready but decided not to leave until morning; after all they couldn't leave without dinner could they?


	3. Epsiode 003: A Doll’s Library!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers. Hee, but I did own a few dolls as a kid; now I find 'em creepy... (o.O)  
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**********Episode 003: ************A Doll's Library!**

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********Xellos? What Are You** Doing Here?  


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The gang had been walking for six days strait and finally there was an inn in sight.

"Food!" Lina, Gourry, and Amelia growled and headed off at full speed in anticipation.

Zelgadiss shook his head and prepared to head off after them when he heard a sound behind him. He quickly turned, only to be met with an apparently barren landscape. Chalking it up to imagination he headed towards the inn.

The sight that greeted him inside was as usual, total feeding chaos.

"Gourry!" Lina wined snagging a handful of shrimp off of his plate. "These are mine!" She gestured to her pile of leftover shrimp tails, "Those are yours."

"They are not Lina! Give 'em back!"

Zelgadiss shook his head and ordered a coffee and settled in for a wait.

Suddenly, just as the plates were really starting to stack up, the doors of the inn burst open and a panic stricken villager nearly ran up to their table.

"Ar-are you Lina Inverse?" The man stuttered.

"Oh! So legend of my power and beauty has made it even out to this humble town!" she said as the others facefaulted.

"Oh thank the Gods." The villager replied taking no notice. "The library is being over run by demons, you must save us."

"Hey what do I look like?" She asked outraged. "Your charity demon slayer?"

The villager nodded as though he had been expecting this. "The man who told me about you said you don't come cheap, he said this should cover it." He threw a large bag of gold on the table.

"Man?" Zelgadiss began "What…" But he was cut off by Lina.

"What are we waiting for? Lets go slay some demons." she said following the man out the door.

"For Justice!" Amelia shouted jumping up in typical fashion and following behind them.

"Hey Lina, wait up!" Gourry called chasing after her.

Zelgadiss sighed and left some money on the table as he followed them out.

* * *

"What a large Library." Amelia said taking in the four story building.

The villager nodded. "Our town prides itself in our advanced collection of knowledge. A few days ago we got an old book with a seal of the Gods placed over it we broke the seal not knowing what it was and well…" He opened the door to show a great number of little wooden dolls ripping the place to shreds.

The girls and Gourry shrieked, even Zelgadiss paled a little.

"Ohhh!" Lina moaned. "Not these little creeps again!"

Zelgadiss turned to the villager. "You say this book just showed up a couple of days ago?"

The villager nodded. "Yeah we were really fortunate that the next day a man came into town who had heard of you guys. He said he'd seen you guys deal with this sort of stuff before and gave us some money to hire you."

"I see." Zelgadiss said. "Do you think you can tell me what this guy looked like?"

"Of course!" The villager agreed easily. "How could you forget a guy with purple hair who can see with his eyes closed!"

Lina turned red with fury. "Xelloss!" She growled. "I know you're here! Come out now and clean this mess up!"

"Huh?" Gourry said "Xelloss?"

"Mr. Xelloss?" Amelia asked confused.

A high pitched titter echoed around the room causing the villager to flee in fear.

"Xelloss." Zelgadiss said darkly.

"Hallo!" Came the reply as the violet haired mazoku phased into view before them.

"Xelloss!" Exclaimed Gourry.

"Xelloss!" Lina demanded "What are you are you doing here?"

Xelloss waged a finger back and forth. "Uh uh, That's a secret."

"I should of known." She groaned. "Look just clean this mess up okay?"

"Ahh." He said with an irritating smirk. "But I just paid you to do it. Ta ta!" And with that he phased back out.

Lina sagged to her knees and began beating the floor causing her comrades and the dolls to stare at her. "Why you little...Huhhh! When you come back I'm gonna never stop singing the Life Is wonderful song. Ohhh, why me!"

The dolls laughed.

"Miss Lina!" Amelia said urgently. "Get up! We have to save the library!"

Lina glowed red with fury as she rose to her feet. "Okay! … _**Darkness beyond twilight…**_"

"Lina." Zelgadiss admonished "We need to _save_ the library from destruction."

The dolls laughed again, humans were funny.

Gourry took out his sword. "Don't worry I'll take care of them Lina." He said advancing on one of them and slicing through it only to have it mesh back together and stick its tongue out at him.

"Huh?" He said confused.

"Gourry you jelly fish! We've fought these things before remember?" She looked over at the chimera and the princess. "Zel, Amelia, you guys handle it, I'm in the mood to level something so it might be a bad idea for me to deal with it."

Zelgadiss shook his head and Amelia nodded and shouted. "For Justice! Lets show them the strength of our love Mr. Zelgadiss!"

Zelgadiss blushed slightly as he sweatdropped but the dolls chose that exact moment to laugh again and he decided to follow Lina's orders.

* * *

"Well that didn't take too long." Lina said settling back down into her chair at the table in the inn again. "All that work has made me hungry!"

"What work Lina?" Gourry asked confused. "I thought Zel and Amelia just destroyed the bad guys?"

Lina sweatdropped and rubbed her head "Well, ordering people to kill possessed dolls can really work up an appetite. Heh heh."

A familiar titter from above broke the awkard silence causing them to look upward. "Oh my Lina, that's no way to treat friends."

"Xelloss." Zelgadiss muttered.

"Hallo." The trickster priest replied jumped down from the rafters.

"Xelloss!" Lina said exasperated. "What are you doing here… yes I'm sure it's a secret but I don't care. If you don't answer the question then you're not traveling with us!"

"Oh really." Xelloss said opening both eyes, all humor gone from his voice. "And how do you intend to stop me Lina Inverse?"

A light feminine laugh came from the other side of the room. "Ahh. How like a mazoku! Not to worry Miss Lina I can tell you every thing."******  
**


	4. Episode 004: A Botched Job!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers. Hee, but Sherrast is all mine... unfortunately... (-.-)  
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**********Episode 004: ************A Botched Job?**

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********Ohhh**! Not Another Prophesy!  


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The group turned to face the speaker. Xelloss narrowed his still opened eyes dangerously.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"Me?" The blue haired woman, appearing to be in her near forties, wearing plain brown robes, and black sash around her eyes, inquired. "I am the monk Sherrast of the 3rd Holy Order."

Now it was Zelgadiss' turn to narrow his eyes. "3rd Holy Order of what?"

"Of Chaos of course." She replied serenely.

"There is no 3rd Holy Order of Chaos." Xelloss spat.

"There's no Order of Chaos period." Lina exclaimed exasperated.

"All the same that's who I am." She replied serenely, standing up with the aid of her walking stick. "And I can tell you exactly why Xelloss is here, he botched a job for his master."

Xellos bristled. "I'm sorry but that information was classified I am afraid I will now have to kill you before you give away any more." And with that he flew at the monk.

"Xelloss wait!" Lina yelled.

"Why should he?" Zelgadiss said coolly. "She obviously has private information that he was unaware anyone else possessed, he needs to destroy her. Plus I'm not so sure he's going to win this one. Either way I wouldn't suggest getting between a mazoku and his prey."

Amelia looked concerned but Lina nodded and sat back to see how the fight would go. Gourry was still eating his dinner as if this was the most normal thing in the world, but then again for the slayers one supposes it is.

The monk stood still as Xelloss phased out only to appear behind her and plunge his staff directly thought the middle of her back.

Sherrast smiled calmly as his eyes went wide with surprise. "How like the Beast Priest to stab a foe in the back, no honor among cowards eh Xelloss."

Xelloss phased out and appeared next to Lina as the monk laughed serenely. "She has no feelings!" He said in shock.

"What do you mean she has no feelings, it's true! You do stab people in the back." Lina asked in annoyance.

"I mean!" He said in an uncharacteristically impatient voice. "That I just stabbed her in the back and her temperament didn't change in the least."

"Interesting." Zelgadiss said.

"Interesting!" Xelloss exclaimed in a voice that nearly shaking with rage. "It's not possible!"

"Hmm." Lina said to Sherrast. "Well it's obvious you haven't' been entirely honest with us, but we're used to that." Lina shot a fuming Xelloss a look before turning back to the "monk."

"However." She continued. "Since it's now apparent Xelloss can't stop you from doing so, please finish what you were saying." She turned to Xelloss. "And you stick around and let us know if she's lying, it's in your best interest you know."

Xelloss, who was now considerably calmer, although his eyes were still open, nodded.

"Right." Sherrast said with her serene smile. "Well along time ago, Lord Beastmaster ordered Xelloss to destroy all copies of the Clair Bible, but it appears he may not have, as such he is under orders to find any should they exist, and destroy them."

Lina turned to Xelloss. "Well how much of it is true."

Xelloss looked at her and spoke calmly despite the hatred burning in his eyes. "All of it I am afraid. This is most unfortunate."

Zelgadiss looked back at Sherrast suspiciously. "How do you know all this?"

"Why it was shown to me in a vision of course." She said serenely. "In the end of it I saw the Beast Priest standing over all of your bodies the last copy of the Clair Bible in his hands and just as he was about to destroy it his orders were changed and he brought it back to his master. Then the world ended."

"Liar." Xelloss said coolly. "Lord Beastmaster's orders specifically state no harm is to come to Lina Inverse. Your prophesy is false."

Lina looked at Xelloss who continued to stare daggers at the robbed woman and then turned back to Sherrast and said. "If he say's you're lying I believe him. Granted Lord Beastmaster's orders may change making your prophesy come true, but I for one have no intention to speed up that decision. That being said you both are gonna travel with us, and as me and Zel have already committed the map to memory…"

She held the rolled up map out in her right fist and yelled "FIREBALL!" consuming it into nothingness with the fire spawned by her left.

Sherrast and Xelloss let out audible gasps at that and Lina smirked. "Well that answers my last question obviously neither one of you was the one who allowed this map to fall in my hands." With that she sat back down and called over to the waiter. "Hey what do you guy's have for desert!"

And so Lina, Gourry and Amelia indulged themselves in the little town's finest pumpkin pie as Zelgadis drank coffee. Xelloss phased out presumably to find out any info available on Sherrast, and Sherrast just sat there watching the small group her serene smile never once leaving her face.


	5. Episode 005: The Ruins of Alba!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... or any deserts that I know of! (n.-)  
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**********Episode 005: ************The Ruins of Alba!**

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********X Marks the Spot?**!  


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"Finally!" Lina exclaimed. "After three months of traveling we're here."

"Uh, Miss Lina?" Amelia asked looking around at the desert landscape. "Where exactly is here?"

"The ruins of Alba!" She exclaimed directing her hand dramatically towards the desert. Unfortunately just at that moment the wind blew a gigantic wave of sand over her and the moment was lost as she paused to spit out sand.

"The ruins of Alba?" Amelia asked looking around.

"Hey, guys." Gourry said cautiously "Don't hit me or anything, but uh, I don't see any ruins."

"That's because the temple here is over 3000 years old and buried far beneath the sands." Came a familiar yet annoying voice in reply.

"Why hello Xelloss." Sherrast said in her serene way.

"Hallo." He said in a much darker voice then usual for the apparently easy going trickster priest.

"Where have you been Xelloss?" Zelgadiss asked.

"On WolfPack Island speaking with Lord Beastmaster about the current situation and attempting to gather information on young Sherrast here." the mazoku gazed opened eyed at the current object of his hatred, so transfixed was he in this act he didn't notice everyone's jaws hit the sand, well almost everyone; Gourry was currently staring out into the desert appearing lost in thought, very lost, and such a serene creature as Sherrast seemed incapable of such an expression.

"What?" he asked breaking his hate filled glare to take notice of the odd looks he was receiving.

"You told us where you were!" Lina gasped eyes wide. "No 'That's a secret'!"

"Ahh. Yes." Xelloss said rubbing the back of his head. "Well Lord Beastmaster felt that on this particular mission it would be best if I answered all questions pertaining to it completely and honestly. So no 'that's a secret' when _you_ ask Miss Lina."

"Also." he said turning to Zelgadiss "I am to give my word that before I destroy the book I'm to let you use it to cure yourself. And Lina," he turned back to the petite sorceress. "I am also to give my word that no harm shall come to you by myself or anyone under Lord Beastmaster 's control. That being said lets get to it."

"Right!" Lina agreed shaking off the shock and peering at the desert beneath her feet. "I think the easiest way to do this is if you teleport us Xelloss."

"Quite right Miss Lina." he agreed. "I'll take the princess and the chimera first, then you and Gourry, and then…" he smiled with his eyes cracked at Sherrast. "I'll escort the little monk myself."

"Xelloss." Lina said testily.

"Oh don't worry Miss Lina," He said calmly. "She'll arrive in one piece."

"How can Miss Sherrast be so calm when Mr. Xelloss looks at her like that?" Amelia asked Zelgadiss and Gourry.

"Well," Gourry replied thoughtfully. "If she's blind, she's really not seeing the looks he gives her is she?"

Lina, Amelia, Zelgadiss, and Xelloss stared thoughtfully at the still serene looking "monk", and decided that must indeed be it.

"Okay." Xelloss said turning back to Zelgadiss and Amelia. "Big group hug!"

Zelgadiss looked greener than normal, but Amelia exclaimed. "Mr. Xelloss I'm so happy!"

"Eh?" He asked sweat dropping.

"You have cast aside your violent ways!" She exclaimed joyfully. "Further proof that Justice and True Love can conquer anything!"

Xelloss, who was getting greener by the minute, looked pleadingly at the young princess. "Please stop Miss Amelia. I need to be at my full capacity when transporting more than just myself. Right! Well ready you two?"

"Just get this over with." Zelgadiss muttered letting him wrap an arm around his own.

"Oh my, Zel, you seem a little tense!" Xelloss giggled unable to resist messing with the chimera.

"Just go!"

"Going!" He said and phased out taking them with him.

He phased back alone arms out. "Come on Lina give us some love."

Blushing furiously Lina replied "Life is wonderful...love is wonder…"

"Okay, okay!" Xelloss said turning greener with each word.

He phased out with her and Gourry and came back alone once more, this time arms crossed and eyes opened.

"You will pay for displaying Lord Beastmaster's plans like that." He said looking at her coldly.

"I have yet to figure out what you are." He said causally as if talking about the weather, except his eyes were still very open. "But I have a feeling." he continued removing a blood red orb, a match to the one on his staff, and an amethyst bladed dagger from his cloak. "That this will help me find out."

Faster than lightening, he sliced her cheek with the dagger and caught the fluid which seeped out with the orb just before it healed itself. Just barely Xelloss saw Sherrast's serene smile falter and felt her rage, Xelloss smirked.

"Ahh. It seems you have some feelings after all eh _monk_!" Xelloss mocked with sadistic pleasure. "I must say there is no dish more exquisite than bottle rage." he approached her from behind and whispered in her ear. "Except bottled fear."

He wrapped his arms around and smirked at the shock he felt in her before phasing off to reappear below.

Meanwhile the emerald colored phoenix who had been circling the area with interest landed and settled in for a wait.******  
**


	6. Episode 006: A Phoenix Appears!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... Hee, but Miss Yade is all mine! (n.n)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 006: A Phoenix Appears?************!**

**********

* * *

********The Maker of the Map is Revealed**!  


* * *

"Lina…" Gourry wined. "I can't see anything."

"Neither can I Miss Lina...Ooof!" Amelia had just bumped into a large body of stone. "Sorry Mr. Zelgadiss."

"Uhh! I hate not being able to use my magic on holy ground." Lina huffed. "How are we supposed to find out there's a copy of the Clair Bible here if we can't even see where we're...Ooof!"

Lina walked soundly into a large slab of stone.

"Oh dear." Xelloss said cheerfully. "I forgot to mention that was there."

"Oh that's right." Zelgadiss commented. "Xelloss can see down here. Why don't we wait here while he checks it out for us?"

"Xelloss isn't the only one able to find their way about in the dark you know." Came Sherrast's serene voice. "I've been doing it all my life."

"Well then why don't the two of you do it together?" Growled Lina rubbing her sore forehead.

Xelloss bristled. "I'm not sure that's wise Miss Lina. While I have specific orders to allow Mr. Zelgadiss to use it before I destroy it, Sherrast has yet to reveal her true purpose once she obtains it."

"He's right Lina." Zelgadiss agreed.

"Alright, it's faster if Xelloss does it anyway." She mumbled. "Besides, it's not gonna be here anyhow."

"Huh?" Gourry said confused. "Why not?"

"Because." The sorceress said smirking into the darkness. "It's never that easy."

"Quite right Miss Lina!" Xelloss agreed enthusiastically. "In fact I removed and destroyed the copy that was here almost 500 years ago!"

"Then why did you let us come down here in the first place." Zelgadiss asked annoyed.

Unseen in the dark, the trickster priest waged a finger. "Now that's a secret."

"Xelloss!" Lina admonished. "You said you weren't gonna keep anything from us!"

"I said I'd be forthcoming with any information concerning this mission." He replied smoothly. "This information does not."

Lina groaned. "Ohh! Just take us back to the surface."

"Certainly, Miss Lina." He agreed and Zelgadiss and Amelia jumped as he grabbed them and phased them up to the surface. He came back and got Lina and Gourry, and then once again was left alone with Sherrast.

"Why didn't you inform them of what I was hiding this time?" He asked observing her open-eyed in the dark. "Perhaps it's not in your best interests that they find out what you are eh?"

"What do you want from me, Beast Priest?" She asked in her usual serene way, although Xelloss was aware of a faint trace of fear creeping in to her.

"I want you to keep out of my way." He said dangerously as he wrapped his arms around her. "And to keep your mouth shut about matters that don't concern you."

"Ahh!" she said still calm despite his efforts to rile her, she had no intention of being caught off guard this time. "But anything to do with the Path of Shanaat is my business. You may want to phase up now or they may become suspicious."

Xellos, knowing she was right, did so.

"You certainly took a long time." Zelgadiss said calmly as he phased into view.

"Oh my, Zelgadiss you missed me did you?" Xelloss said with a grin. "Well no worries next time I'll teleport you solo instead."

"That's quite all right." The chimera replied, once again turning greener that usual.

"Ohh! But I insist!" He replied placing an arm around a now very ill-looking Zelgadiss. "I wouldn't have you feeling left out."

"Excuse me, I am deeply sorry to interrupt, alas I must know, are you the ones who have disturbed these sacred ruins?" A soft voice broke in.

The party turned to face a young woman in brown slacks and a beaded green and gold sleeveless top. Her curly Auburn hair hung loose to her mid back and her bold green eyes were an exact match to the emerald around her neck and the feather earrings in her ears. The gang couldn't help noticing that while her golden, bracelet-ed hands were hanging loosely at her sides they were in perfect reaching distance of the gold gilded daggers hanging from her leather belt.

"Uhh." Lina bristled rubbing her head. "Why do you ask?"

"Because." She replied. "Only the ones to whom my map was meant to be received by would know they are here."

"I know you Lina Inverse are one of they," She said nodding to the sorceress. "As are the other three mortals, and of course The Greater Beast's General-Priest, would be here as well, but this blue haired one was not foreseen." She gave the alleged monk a calculating look.

"You are the one who gave those bandits that map." Zelgadiss deducted.

The woman nodded. "Yes. I am Yade Trekkai, last embodiment of the Phoenix. I need you to seek out the Clair Bible for me."

Lina bristled. "Hey lady I don't know who you are. But I don't like being used, so I'm afraid you're gonna have to find someone else to do this little quest for ya."

"But Miss Lina!" Amelia cried. "What about Mr. Zelgadiss' cure and Mr. Gourry's sword?"

"Yeah! What abut my sword Lina?" Gourry asked.

"Do you honestly think she'll let us keep the Clair Bible?" Zelgadiss asked coolly.

"Keep it?" Yade inquired. "I thought you would only wish to use it to find a cure for what you consider your accursed form. Why would you wish to keep such a dangerous item?"

"They're not going to keep it." Came Sherrast's serene reply. "The Beast Priest intends to destroy it once he has used it to get his cure."

"You said intends." Yade observed. "Do you not believe he will be permitted to do so?"

Everyone except Xelloss, who was studying the woman in front of him with earnest… well who was facing her direction with his eye closed anyway, turned to face Sherrast who serenely replied. "One can never know the future, but in my vision it is not destroyed."

Yade gave her an even stare. "I see not one trace of the gift of prophesy in you immortal one. I can only therefore assume you intend to create that vision of the future."

"Immortal one?" Lina asked. "Is she a dragon then?"

Yade and Xelloss both shook their heads, Xelloss quickly while Yade's was more

concentrated. "No." She replied quietly, perhaps more to herself. "She is not a dragon. I am beginning to see the pieces of this puzzle. Hmm. An odd development indeed."

Yade turned back to Lina. "I fully intend to let each of you require that which you desire. I am not a servant of the God's or of the Monsters, so I shall not force you into this quest but rather reward you with what you need should you follow me."

"Huh?" Gourry asked puzzled. "What does she mean? Doesn't she have to follow one or the other?"

"Yeah." Amelia said. "I thought only humans were neither good nor bad."

"This is true." Lina said. "But technically those who are the embodiment of the Phoenix are human. They simply have the ancient spirit of the Phoenix, the Lord of Nightmares' messenger, flowing through their veins."

"I see." Zelgadiss said, hand under his chin. "So like your sister Luna, they are human with the force of a greater being inside them causing them to be, in essence, able to be a balance."

Lina paled slightly at the mention of her sister but nodded. "Especially in this case as the Phoenix is a completely neutral player."

"Hmm." Xelloss said. "And why is it that you are here if this is indeed a "neutral" matter?"

Yade bowed her head slightly. "I am most truly sorry but that is something I must not reveal at this _time_."

Lina smirked. "In other words Xelloss, that's a secret."


	7. Episode 007: The Guardians of the Nigh!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... and I am secretly shite at riddle! (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 007: ****The Guardians of the Night************!**

**********

* * *

********What? Answer the Riddle or Else?**!  


* * *

****The gang had decided they had no choice but to trust Yade as she had made the map in the first place and knew all of the stops they would have to make anyway. It turned out to be a good choice as it seemed she knew a shortcut to each destination.

"Slow down would ya!" Lina exclaimed collapsing onto the sand. "It's not like the

Holy Circle's going anywhere."

"Forgive me Miss Lina." Yade said inkling here head. "I just know that is urgent we reach the location of the Holy Circle before nightfall."

"She quite right Miss Lina" Xelloss agreed phasing into view. "The Holy Circle of Patmos is infamous for its night time hazards."

"Huh?" Gourry asked. "Night time hazards? What sort of hazards?"

"Mr. Xelloss? Miss Yade?" The princess inquired looking pale. "What are they?"

Yade looked up at the trickster priest and nodded for him to tell them. Xelloss cracked an eye at the order, silent though it was, but replied anyway.

"Riddles." He said simply.

"Riddles!" Zelgadiss snorted. "You must be joking"

Xellos frowned slightly. "Can you solve riddles?"

Zelgadiss shrugged. "I'd have to hear the one asked to be certain."

Xelloss smirked and turned to the sorceress. "And what about you Miss Lina? Any good at them?"

Lina shook her head. "I wouldn't' know unless I knew what was going to be asked. What there to be afraid of when it comes to riddles any way?" She inquired annoyed.

Xelloss didn't answer but turned to the next in line who happened to be Gourry "How 'bout...never mind. Miss Amelia, how fair you when it comes to riddles."

The little princess shook her head softly.

Xelloss nodded. "And you Sherrast? How do you do with riddles?"

Sherrast smiled serenely. "I don't know, I've never been asked one before."

Yade lifted her head. "How is that possible?" She asked confused.

"I am rather young." Sherrast replied in her serene manor.

Xelloss raised an eyebrow then turned to the Phoenix. "And what of you?"

"I am wonderful with riddles." Yade said with a sad smile. "But they will not ask them of me for they will know this."

Xelloss nodded "Yes I suppose a Phoenix would be good with riddles."

"Why's that?" Gourry asked.

Xelloss looked at Yade who almost unnoticeably shook her head. He twitched a little at the assumption that he would follow, yet another, unspoken command but he complied. "Ahh. Now that is a secret!"

"Xelloss!" Lina wined advancing on him as he backed away staff in front of him. "Am I gonna have to beat everything out of you?"

"We really must reach the circle before night fall." Yade said, directing their attention back to the matter at hand.

Three hours later, Amelia looked across the horizon and paled.

"Miss Lina!" she called. "Miss Lina! Look!"

The fiery-haired sorceress turned to see the sun disappearing below the horizon, going ...going...gone.

"Ohhh!" Lina said falling to her knees. "And we were so close."

Indeed, they could see the center stone of the Circle sticking out of the sand, about 60 yards in the distance.

"Maybe we could still make it." Zelgadiss said.

Yade shook her head softly. "Look." She replied pointing out at the horizon.

From the sand formed a line of lion-looking sculptures. Simultaneously they opened their mouths and roared.

"Sphinxes!" Lina exclaimed. "Ohhh! Why me?"

"Huh? Sphinxes?" Gourry asked confused. "What are …"

Lina kicked him soundly in the head and threw herself on top of him. "Sphinxes are a type of demon that asks you riddles. If you can't answer them they eat you, got it?"

"Okay, Okay." He said.

Zelgadiss looked at Yade. "Will they come after us, or will we only have to answer their riddles if we wish to pass them?"

Yade smiled softly. "There isn't much to eat in the desert." She said. "They'll take what they can get."

"Where'd Mr. Xelloss go?" Amelia asked looking around.

"Uhhh!" Lina bristled, showing her fangs and pounding the ground with her fists. "Xelloss! You little…Uhhh!"

"Uh Lina." Zelgadiss said falling in beside her.

"Huh?" she asked looking up. "Oooh!"

No less than twenty sphinxes were surrounding the small party.

"Hey Yade! Yade?" Lina called looking around to find the Phoenix also missing. "Oh not you too!"

"I am still here Miss Lina." Sherrast replied serenely. "I would not abandon my companions at a time such as this."

"That's great." Zelgadiss said coolly. "But as you haven't the slightest idea what a riddle is, more less how to solve one, your presence is worthless."

"Mr. Zelgadiss?" The little princess said scooting in closer to the chimera. "Miss Lina? What are we going to do?"

"Were gonna let these big boys right here tell us." Lina replied looking up at the two sphinxes directly in front of her.

"**We are the Guardians of the Night**." Came the voice of the sphinxes. "**Answer our three riddles mortals and you shall pass, fail and meet your demise**."

They grinned showing a mouthful of wicked teeth.


	8. Episode 008: Desert or Dessert!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... Or any of the riddles listed below! (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 008: Desert or Dessert?************!**

**********

* * *

********I Hate Riddles**!  


* * *

"Hmm. This will be interesting." Xelloss said from his view 100 feet above the scene.

"Although, I suppose nothing's very interesting when you all ready know the outcome. Eh little Phoenix?" He said turning to the large emerald bird hovering next to him.

"While I know the outcome I do not know how it will become reality." She said quietly. "For me the journey is far more entertaining than the destination."

"Huh! I'm sure." He acknowledged.

"What is it you need to speak with me about Xelloss?" She asked softly her eyes downcast.

"My, my." He said opening his eyes to gaze at her sadistically. "You do have a lot of internal suffering, how delightful."

She glanced at him warily and replied, "I do not believe you would call me aside and give Sherrast even more leeway with the trust of the group just to feed off me. Please tell me what you truly need."

Xelloss smirked, internal suffering or not, she was certainly dedicated.

"I need for you to understand something." he said locking her eyes with his. "I take orders from only one Master."

The Phoenix hung her head. "Forgive me Xelloss. I was just afraid you would tell what I am, and then was not the time to do so."

Xelloss eyed her suspiciously. "If then wasn't the time, than I wouldn't have anyway. I am as powerless to change your visions of the future as are you or anyone else. How could you be concerned?"

"Because Sherrast is not." she replied simply.

* * *

Meanwhile back on the ground the slayers group was faced with a puzzling dilemma,

"Heh!" Lina said rubbing the back of her head. "Could you repeat that?"

"**Of course.**" The Sphinxes said generously. "_We'll repeat each one as many times as necessary_."

"Oh my, what kind and noble sphinxes." Sherrast said serenely. The others shot her an even stare.

"**The riddle was this:**

**I am greater than the Lord of Nightmares…**

**I am more evil to this world than the Great Ruby Eyed Shabrinigdo…**

**The rich cannot even begin to acquire me…**

**The poor see can acquire only me…**

**If you devour me you shall die…**

**What am I**?"

"More powerful than the Lord of Nightmares!" Lina bristled. "Ohh! But nothing's more powerful than the Lord of Nightmares."

"Nothings more evil to this world than Shabrinigdo either." Zelgadiss said darkly.

"Nothing?" Amelia wondered quietly. "Ah! Miss Lina, Mr. Zelgadiss the answer is

Nothing."

Zelgadiss shook his head slowly. "She's right Lina."

He looked up at the sphinxes. "Our answer is 'Nothing'."

"**Your answer is correct**." They replied. "**Your next riddle is as follows:**

**What can run, but never walks…**

**Has a mouth but never talks…**

**It Has a bed but never sleeps…**

**As well as a head but never weeps…?"**

* * *

"Hmm." Xelloss observed. "That's an old one."

"Coming from you, that is saying something." The Phoenix replied smiling inwardly.

Xelloss scowled and she hung her head. "Forgive me. It was not right of me to make fun."

Xelloss cracked an eye at her. "I don't know who taught you your manners, but they made you into a total doormat."

"Anyway." he said sitting back down Indian-style and placing his hands and staff behind his head. "Tell me why you think Sherrast may have the power to influence this vision of yours."

"If I do so." She asked quietly. "Will you promise to never speak of my abilities in any form unless I give you permission to do so?"

Xelloss bristled opening his eyes fully. "Hmm. For a deal like that I think there should be a little more on the table from your end."

The Phoenix met his eyes briefly before looking down once more. "We shall also agree to share any information we gain about Sherrast."

Xelloss nodded. "That can be in there to." He said. "But I'm actually looking for something else."

The Phoenix once again raised her eyes to his this time holding his gaze. "What are you after Xelloss?"

"Tell me the vision." He said sitting back and closing his eyes again.

"You must not interfere with it!" She conditioned. "It is a forked vision. If you mess with even a small battle it will cause destruction beyond parallel."

Xelloss nodded. "I promise not to interfere."

"Very well." She said.

* * *

Lina collapsed to her knees. "Oh I give up."

Zelgadiss stood still, his hand on his chin in thought; Amelia stared up at the star filled sky a finger on her cheek, while Gourry was thinking so hard it hurt to look at him.

Sherrast looked up at the Sphinxes and said serenely. "The answer is a River."

Zelgadiss eyed her suspiciously and she shrugged and replied serenely "If those are what riddle's are then I now know, yes, I am good at them."

They nodded. "**Your answer is correct. For Our last riddle:**

**First think of the person, who dwells in disguise,**

**Who deals in secrets and tell naught but lies.**

**Next, tell me what's always the last thing to mend,**

**The middle of the middle and the end of the end?**

**And finally give me the sound often heard**

**During the search for a hard-to-find word.**

**Now string them together, and answer me this,**

**What creature would you be unwilling to kiss?**

"A spider." Gourry said.

The others looked at him, as did the sphinxes.

"**How did you answer our hardest riddle so easily?**" They asked in surprise.

"Huh? Riddle!" Gourry said. "You asked me what kinda creature I'd be unwilling to kiss and I told you."

The sphinxes shook their heads as the others sweatdropped. "**Well as you did technically solve the riddle we are honor bound to let you pass us to the security of the Holy Circle**."

They opened a path for the slayers to go though and they took it heading towards the safety of the ruins.


	9. Episode 009: A Book of Great Worth!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

* * *

**********Episode 009: A Book of Great Worth************!**

**********

* * *

********The Clair Bible At Last?**!  


* * *

The slayers walked along the haphazardly arranged stones. Zelgadiss walked over to one covered with sand which looked to be painted on and brushed it off.

"Hey Lina!" He called. "Look at this."

"Did you find treasure!" She asked running over followed by Amelia and Gourry.

"There's something written on here." Zelgadiss, who had been brushing up on his ryuzoku after that shrine incident, began reading it aloud.

"It says _here that these hallowed grounds house a book of immeasurable worth… But take heed, to remove it from its sacred perch is to upset a deluge of horror…_"

"Huh." Lina said looking around. "I wonder where this sacred perch is."

"But Miss Lina." Amelia said worried. "What about the deluge of horror?"

"We'll worry about that when we get to it." She replied surveying the desert landscape. It seemed the only shelter for miles were the nines stones surrounding them. "Hmm. Lets see if I were a great book of immeasurable worth where would I be?"

"Why don't you try following the arrows?" Sherrast serene voice asked from behind them.

"What arrows would those be?" Zelgadiss replied annoyed.

"I think she means those ones Lina." Gourry said pointing at the nine rocks making up the Circle, which indeed were pointing strait down.

"Uhh!" Lina growled. "Where's Xelloss when you need him! Fine we'll just have to do this the old-fashioned way."

She raised her hands over her head "FIRE…"

"Wait Lina!" Zelgadiss called but he was too late.

"...BALL!"

The whole entire center of the Circle caved in.

"Heh!" Lina said, rubbing the back of her head. "Well it may have been a little overkill but it…"

The rumbling of the earth below them cut her off as it threw her sideways.

"Miss Lina!" Amelia called as she was thrown to the opposite side.

"Lina! Amelia!" Gourry called before tumbling backward.

Zelgadiss and Sherrast were the only ones who remained unmoved.

"What is that!" Zelgadiss yelled over the strange roar coming from below them.

"I suppose it's the deluge of horror spoke of on the stone." Sherrast replied serenely. "Miss Lina must have knocked the book off its sacred perch when she cast that fire ball."

"Oh my!" Xelloss said phasing onto the top of one the rocks. "This is certainly a development."

"Xelloss!' Lina yelled. "Fix this!'

Xelloss sweatdropped. "Me! But I don't even know what you did Miss Lina."

"Don't care. Just…" Lina was once again cut off as a spout of water 80 feet high shot out from the center of the circle.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Came the united cry as the slayers desperately attempted to retreat before gravity could set to work on the wall of water, but at last they were too late.

Xelloss sighed and phased in and out of the new desert oasis catching up the water logged mortals and depositing them on the sand. He left Sherrast to fend for herself.

As the four sat up coughing up the water they had inhaled, Sherrast calmly walked over and sat down. She was, they all noticed, completely dry.

"Ho-how di-did you st-stay dr-dr-dry. Mi-Miss Sher-Sherrast?" A shivering Amelia asked confused.

"I cast a Bubble Air Shield." She replied with a serene smile.

Xelloss twitched and Lina replied, shivering with now rage as well as cold. "Th-There's n-no such th-thing a-as a Bu- bu- Bubble AIR shield! An-and where we-were you Xel-Xel -Xelloss! "

Lina caught site of Yade heading toward them from the opposite direction of the sphinxes, her earrings suspiciously snagged in her hair and her clothes slightly disheveled. Lina was about to comment on this also when Xelloss answered her question.

"Why Lina. I just went to get you some food so you wouldn't starve to death in the desert…"He whined in a hurt voice as he pulled out a bag from no where.

"FOOD!" Lina growled, her stutter gone and eyes lit up.

"All right!" Gourry agreed getting to his feet, water pouring out from his armor. "Food!"

"Mr. Zelgadiss! Did you here that?" Amelia said looking over at the still unmoving chimera. "Mr. Zelgadiss!" She pushed his shoulder, still no movement. "Miss Lina!"

"Uhh! What is it now!" Lina said annoyed to have to turn away from the giant sack of food.

"It Mr. Zelgadiss!" She called.

"Huh?" Lina asked and then took in the familiar sight of a once again apparently drowned chimera and the little princess sitting at his side staring over him. "Uhh! Zel! Not again!" She groaned shaking her head and heading over.

"Hey Lina! Wait for me." Gourry called tearing himself away from the sack and chasing after only thing he cared more about than food. Xelloss watched the familiar scene before him with a smirk, while Yade stood watching with a thoughtful expression, and Sherrast, well you know.

"What should we do Miss Lina?" Amelia asked peering down on him worriedly.

"Hey." Gourry said confused. "Haven't we done this before? Someone's gotta give him mouth to mouth right?"

Lina nodded. "Yep that's exactly what has to happen." She looked at Amelia and said. "He's all yours."

She grabbed Gourry's arm and yanked him towards the sack. "Come on! Now we can definitely get first dibs."

"Miss Lina?" Amelia called quietly after the rampaging sorceress. She turned to gaze down at the water logged chimera. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Zelgadiss, who had been woken up by Lina's annoyed yell, blushed slightly but decided not to move.

Xelloss giggled, as Lina and Gourry tore into the chicken dinner he'd brought, still watching the scene. He glanced over at Yade, who was wearing a knowing smile, its fun to know the future. He didn't even bother to check in on Sherrast's expression. We all know what that was anyway.

The little princesses' lips were inches from the chimeras, and he found himself inching up to meet them…

There came a roar as another spout of water burst through the ground beneath them caring both of them screaming into the air and them dropping them in the camp.

Lina and Gourry screamed "THE FOOD!" And were desperately stuffing it back into the bag as the shadow of the waves darkened the sky above them.

"Ahhhh!"

Before the waves swallowed them Lina witnessed a number of odd things in a quick amount of time. There was a yelled "Bubble Air Shield!" And Lina was very surprised to see that it worked. She also was surprised to see a completely nude Yade stuffing her clothes into a grinning Xelloss' pack as she said something Lina couldn't make out. Xelloss nodded to whatever it was she'd said and the last thing Lina saw before the wave consumed her was a bright flash of emerald light.


	10. Episode 010: Over the River!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 010: Over The River************!**

**********

* * *

********Ohhh! Where Are We Going?**!  


* * *

"Uhh." Zelgadiss said rubbing his head softly as he woke up.

"Where am I?" He wondered aloud surveying the forest landscape that had replaced the desert he had been in before…

"Uhh!" He muttered, taking an embarrassed step back from the dark haired princess still unconscious at his feet and putting a hand to his for head. "That's right."

Feeling the one might after a night of intoxication, well that is the way one would if he were a bitter chimera with a dark past, Zelgadiss removed his sword from his sheaf an began heading towards the forest to kill something. On his way he passed a large fire where Yade, Xelloss, and Sherrast were sitting. Sherrast, who was sitting alone on a log to Xelloss' left, was saying something, hard to tell exactly what sort of thing with that smile of hers plastered on her face. Whatever it was, it was causing Yade, who was on the log beside him to hang her head with a grim, and maybe angry look, as he stared daggers at her.

"Please Sherrast." Yade said with forced calm. "You know enough about me to know that if I say, I cannot answer that question at this time, then I simply must not."

"Ahh!" She replied in her serene manner. "But I didn't ask you. I asked Mr. Xelloss." She turned her gaze to the furious priest. "And 'that's a secret' won't work for me, like it will Lina Inverse and her little crew of lackey's"

Zelgadiss' grip on his sword tightened. _Hmm_. He thought to himself darkly. _She'll_ do.

Xelloss, glaring at the monk, replied. "It's none of your business, what plans I make and who I share them with."

"Plans?" Sherrast asked serenely. "Is that why the little Phoenix keeps taking her clothes off around you?"

Zelgadiss sweatdropped. _Xelloss and Yade are…_

Yade raised her head to look at the "monk".

"Yes." She replied with forced calm, Zelgadiss was shocked to see she wasn't the least bit embarrassed, only angry. "That is precisely why. You know we are telling you the truth, quit trying to bait us into giving away those plans."

She smiled at Sherrast's raised eyebrows and Xelloss grinned sadistically he could feel the shock and hate flowing from her.

"Oh my!" He replied mockingly. "Why I do believe you've gotten the little _monk_ flustered. How unfortunate!" He gave a high pitched titter as Yade hung her head in what could have been shame, were it not for the small smile playing at her lips.

Sherrast quickly recovered. "Not it all Xelloss. I'm simply curious to what it is about your fascination with getting your companions to take off their clothes in front of you! Now Filia Ul Copt I could understand, a priestess of the Fire Dragon King must look twice as good naked, which might also explain why you haven't picked up any women since that little trip you took." Her serene smile opened wider as she saw him begin twitching. "Ahh! I get it! They both can fly! Ahh, poor Xelloss, don't worry I'm certain your little dragon will be flattered."

Zelgadiss stared open mouthed in disbelief. _She thinks...Xelloss and Filia! … It's official! This woman's insane._

Xelloss began glowing dark with power and shouting off not more than a few obscenities as he hurled himself at the "monk" who laughed serenely and just sat there as he stabbed her repeatedly with his staff.

Yade shook her head and looked up at Zelgadiss.

_You had better get out of here while he is distracted._ He heard her say in his head. _He will be very angry, and stabbing Sherrast will get no negative energy from her, or positive for that matter, and my own will not be enough to satisfy him. I f he sees you..._

She didn't need to continue, a flashback of, what he assumed, was yesterdays activities sprung to mind and he ran towards the woods, leaving the laughing "monk" and the swearing priest behind.

Yade sighed and stood up grabbing Xelloss by the shoulders, not a smart thing to do at the current situation, and was stabbed in the side with his staff as she turned him to face her.

Smiling to herself despite the pain, she healed it and looked at him evenly. "There." She said calmly. "Does it not feel better to harm a person who will actually give you the negative feelings you desire?"

Xelloss and Sherrast both stared at her open mouthed. Xelloss quickly closed his. "Are you offering to let me impale you?" He asked with mild concern.

Yade shrugged. "Possibly. As long as you don't stab me any where vital. No pain you could physically inflict could match that of the visions, and I would prefer you to not attack Miss Lina and the others."

Xelloss and Sherrast shared a rare look

He shrugged "Okay." He grinned sadistically. "I can do anything as long I don't puncture anything vital?"

Yade glanced at him evenly. "I decide what defines as vital Xelloss."

He shrugged; certain any of his ideas wouldn't be affected by it. "Of course."

Sherrast smiled serenely. "Oh my Xelloss! Whatever will your little dragon think?"

Yade sighed and shook her head as the priest threw himself at her again, and moved forward to pull him off.

Meanwhile in the forest Zelgadiss was relieving an unfortunate tree of all of its branches, as well as its bark, and great amount of flesh as well.

_Damn it!_ He cursed as he carved; the tree ironically was beginning to look something like the girl he was thinking of. I was so close! _It' seems every time I get in that position it always gets blown. I know the only way the princess would ever be interested in a creature like me was if I was the last man alive but in those sort of situations I could at least pretend, but NOOO… fate or destiny or whatever never seems to let it just happen. _

He sighed leaning back against the tree. _It's hopeless. But…_

He widened his eyes, a rare small smile playing at his lips. _That's it! I've only so far been in that position once **every** trip! What if this trip I arrange it to be in that position at every body of water we come to! _

He narrowed his eyes in thought. _Hmm. Lina and the others might become suspicious though… how to play this…_

Back at camp Lina sneezed and woke up. "Hey!' She yelled nudging Gourry who was snoring next to her. "Wake up jellyfish brains!"

"Huh?" Gourry said sitting up dazed. "Is it time for breakfast?"

Lina sighed. "It would be if we still had that sack. Hey Amelia! Are you gonna sleep all day?"

The little princess sat up dazed. "Miss Lina? What's wrong?" She looked around at the foreign landscape. "Where are we? And where's Mr. Zelgadiss?"

"Yeah." Gourry said looking around confused. "This part of the desert sure has a lot of plants."

Lina jumped on his head and began beating him mercilessly. "We're not in the desert anymore. We're wherever Xelloss phased us too got it?"

"Okay! Okay!" He exclaimed.

"Mr. Xelloss?" Amelia asked looking around confused.

"Yeah." Lina said getting off a now thoroughly trashed Gourry. "Yade asked him to do something as the wall of water was about to hit."

"Miss Yade?" Amelia asked even more confused.

Lina nodded. "Yep. And that's not all." She looked around the camp. "Where is the little fruitcake? I got a couple of questions to ask him."

"If it's about Miss Yade and his relationship, you might want to reconsider asking until later." Zelgadiss commented exiting the woods to join them. "Sherrast already asked him and Miss Yade about it and he wasn't very pleased."

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cooed. "Your okay! I was so worried."

Zelgadiss smiled to himself softly as he blushed. "Thank you Amelia, but I'm fine."

Lina shrugged and replied. "I'm sure it was just because it was her asking him. If I do it I'm sure he won't mind."

"Lina." Zelgadiss said warily. "He stabbed her at least five times before I turned away. She appears to feel no pain. Do you want to be the one he turns on?"

Lina bristled. "On second thought… I'll just leave it alone."

"Leave what alone?" Gourry asked confused.

"Nothing." Lina and Zelgadiss replied hastily.

"Mr. Zelgadiss! Miss Lina!" Amelia admonished. "Keeping secrets goes against the principles of Justice!"

They sweatdropped. Zelgadiss more so than Lina, as he thought of his future "plan".

"Not if it's someone else's secret Amelia." Zelgadiss replied calmly. "Then it would go against the principles of Justice to tell it."

"That's right Zel." Lina agreed rubbing her head and looking around. "Now where's Xelloss? I'm hungry!"

"Why I'm not certain where he and Miss Yade went off to. " Sherrast replied serenely. "But I'm still here."

Lina and Zelgadiss facefaulted.

Lina whispered to Zelgadiss. "You think they'd be a little less conspicuous!"

"Just pretend you didn't notice. Amelia and Gourry don't suspect a thing." He whispered back as he stood up.

Lina smiled at the "monk". "Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't really help me in this situation as Xelloss is the one with the food!"

"Quite right Miss Lina." Xelloss agreed appearing behind Sherrast causing her to jump and the already chipper priest to smile wider.

"Xelloss." Lina admonished. "Where have you been?"

"Yes." Zelgadiss agreed eying him warily. "And why are you so happy?"

"Ahh!" Xelloss said with a smile and a wave of his finger. "Now that's a secret!"

Lina and Zelgadiss hit the forest floor again. "He's _really_ not making this easy!"

"Not to worry Miss Lina." He said picking up the sorceress and dusting her off. "I brought you new food. And you Zel!" He said smiling down at the chimera. "I'm touched you missed me so!"

Zelgadiss got up grumbling. "Must not spill secret...must save for bargaining chip…"

"Right! Xelloss beamed. "Well here you are Miss Lina! I hope you like waffles!" He said directing them to the large pile of waffles, sausage and eggs sitting on a blanket.

"FOOD!" Lina and Gourry drooled heading off to the pile at full speed.

Xelloss chuckled and Zelgadiss stared at him. _What were they doing to make him this happy?_

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia tugged on his arm shaking him from his thoughts. "Come on Mr. Xelloss got you coffee!"

Shaking his head in wonder Zelgadiss allowed the little princess to drag him off to the food.

"So Xelloss." Lina inquired through a mouthful of food. "Where are we?"

"We are in the Dreadwood." Xelloss said cheerfully. "Miss Yade asked me to bring you here as it is the next stop on the map."

Zelgadiss eyed Xelloss warily. "Since when have you submitted to taking orders from humans?" He inquired taking a sip of his coffee.

Xelloss bristled. "I'm not taking orders from her I simply agreed that it was the best course of action." He opened an eye to peer at Zelgadiss then shut it again with a smirk. "Oh I see! Your jealous! How Unfortunate! Well not to worry Zelgadiss, if you make it worth my while I'll let you order me around." He winked in mock suggestion. "I'll do anything you ask."

Zelgadiss spit out the coffee choking. "That's not what I meant." He said gagging.

Xelloss nodded with mock understanding. "It's okay Zel, It'll be our little secret."

Zelgadiss just stared at him an expression of pure horror on his face. Xelloss smirked and turned to face Yade, who was making her way over from the forest, clothes once again out of place. Fortunately Lina and the others were currently preoccupied with the mountain of food in front of her, and Zelgadiss seemed incapable of movement.

Xelloss, satisfied his distraction had worked, turned back to Lina and the others and began stuffing the few remaining mounds of leftovers into the sack.

"Put… It… Back…" Lina said fire in her eyes as she stood to face the offending priest.

"But Lina!" He wined. "If we don't leave now we won't make it to the river in time for lunch."

Lina drooled. "You brought lunch too?"

Xelloss nodded. "Yep. And if we leave now you can have it in an hour early!"

"All right!" Gourry said hopping to his feet. "Lina Food!"

Lina nodded. "I'm right behind ya Gourry."

Just as they were about to take off into the woods a timid voice spoke up from behind.

"Uh, Miss Lina, Mr. Gourry!" The princess called gazing at the still unmoving chimera. "I think Mr. Zelgadiss needs help."

"Huh?" Lina asked taking in the site. "Uhh! Zel what are you doing!"

In response the chimera muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Don't like fruitcake, too many nuts" and fainted dead on the forest floor.


	11. Episode 011: Killer Assassins!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... Hee, but Lokkin is all mine! (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 011: ****Killer Assassins************!**

**********

* * *

********The Blue Bunnies of Doom?**  


* * *

"Lina." Gourry whined. "Can't we rest already? Zelgadiss weighs a ton."

Lina looked over at Gourry who was lugging the still unconscious chimera on his back. "Well of course he does jelly fish brains; he's made of stone after all!"

"But Lina!" He whined. "I'm hungry!"

The sorceress put a finger to her chin. "Come to think of it I am too. Hey Xelloss!" She called upward towards the forest canopy. "You said we could have lunch! It's been five hours already!"

The violet-haired trickster phased in behind her causing her to jump. "So I did, Miss Lina." He replied cheerfully pulling out the large sack. "Not to worry, we'll stop here by the river and have lunch and dinner."

"FOOD!" Lina, Gourry, and Amelia growled eyeing the sack greedily.

"Hey Gourry." Zelgadiss whispered, awakened by the racket and realizing that the first of the many bodies of water that he had incorporated into his plan was behind him. "Drop me off in the river okay?"

"Huh?" Gourry said turning suddenly causing Zelgadiss to flip off his shoulder and crash head first in the river with a startled yell. "Zelgadiss? Are you awake?"

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia squealed running over to the river. "Miss Lina! Mr. Gourry! Mr. Zelgadiss needs help!"

"Uhh." Lina sighed, grumbling she turned away from the sack to once again save the water destined chimera.

Meanwhile Gourry had fished the, apparently unconscious, chimera out of the water and he was once again laying on the ground, a worried princess leaning over him concerned.

"Good work Gourry!" Lina said grabbing him by the sleeve. "Now let's let Amelia handle this while we go eat."

"But Miss Lina…" Amelia began but Lina had already retrieved the sack and began tearing into a giant sub sandwich with her blond counterpart. Amelia sighed and closed her eyes once more and prepared to save her true love, whom now had a slight blush coloring his stone cheeks.

"Oh my." Xelloss wondered aloud. "What are the odds that he'd find himself in the same fortunate position, twice in two days?"

Once again the princesses' lips were inches from his own and Zelgadiss was once again inching up to meet them when the princess felt something rather warm and furry ?... brush against her cheek. Curious, Amelia opened her eyes, and then let out a piercing scream.

Zelgadiss eyes snapped open and he pulled out his sword to meet the danger.

"Amelia!" Lina gasped jumping to her feet followed by Gourry who also pulled free his sword. Xelloss opened his eyes to take in the threat as Yade pulled her daggers free from her belt, and Sherrast… well you know. Nothing could prepare them for the horror that was about to meet there gaze.

Lina screamed. "Oh Gods! Make it go away!"

"I've never seen anything so freighting." Xelloss said turning a sick shade of blue. "It's hideous."

Yade pursed her lips and paled slightly, but held her ground.

"Huhhh!" Zelgadiss shuddered pulling the princess away from the monstrosity and holding his sword out to distance them from it.

Sherrast stared serenely at it. "Huh. Well that's new."

Gourry just looked at everyone confused. "Huh? What are you guys going on about? It's just a little bunny?"

And so it was. Although this particular "little bunny" was a bright Robin's Egg Blue, two foot tall, with dark, humanistic eyes and when it smiled it revealed an unnaturally human looking mouthful of teeth. It was, to put it mildly, one of the scariest things Lina Inverse had ever scene, the scariest on the Lesser Beast's list.

"Hey there little guy." Gourry said approaching it with a hand out offering a piece of lettuce he'd pulled off the sub. "Wanna a piece of lettuce."

"Gourry…" Zelgadiss said cautiously. "I am not certain that that is wise…"

But Gourry was already inches from the creature's face. "That's right! Yummy

lettuce...Lettuce for the cute little rabbit…"

"I don't eat lettuce." It said in a scary child-like voice, its grin never faltering.

Lina paled, and bit her lip to keep from letting out another scream.

Xelloss turned even bluer, quite glad he wasn't a creature who had a stomach or things would have gotten a little messy.

Yade shifted her daggers into attack position. If ever a creature need to be silenced…

Zelgadiss raised his sword over his head...This _thing_, was definitely his enemy.

Amelia seemed unable to compute the situation and just stood there petrified.

And Sherrast...well you know.

The creature grinned up at them, rotating its head to peer at each of them.

"I am Lokkin." It said grinning. "And I am going to kill you now."

There was a horrid tittering chipmunk sound from all around them as they found themselves surrounded by a legion of grinning death.


	12. Episode 012: Grinning Death!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 012: ****Grinning Death?************!**

**********

* * *

********The Penguins Take A Back Seat!**  


* * *

"Ahh." Xelloss said holing his staff out in front of him to ward off the evil. "That's my cue to go. Buh bye."

Yade slashed a dagger through his cloak before he could phase off. "Coward! Where is it precisely that you suppose you are going off to?"

"Coward!" He said opening his eyes to peer at her. "They are bright blue, fluffy creatures with cute little child like voices. I am in no position to fight them."

Yade tossed her hair. "Forgive my rudeness, alas, how pathetic are you? Very well run off and hide I shall defeat the great, frightening, rabbit offspring alone."

"We're not bunnies." Lokkin said grinning up at her. "We are Lord Dynast's new army of elite assassins, we are the Grins. We were created for one cause." He rotated his grinning head toward Xelloss. "To eliminate the Beast Priest."

"A fitting name." Sherrast acknowledged serenely. Earning a look from Zelgadiss, Yade, and Xelloss.

"I see." Xelloss replied, forcing his skin color back to normal and narrowing his open eyes. "It appears I have been careless. I will stand and fight."

"Dynast!" Lina bistled, coming around. "Uhh. What's he after?"

"I would assume he plans to prevent me from destroying the Clair Bible." Xelloss said calmly. "Allowing him to use it to take over the world. I had not foreseen this complication as he had an agreement with my Lord Beastmaster. How unfortunate." He held his staff out in front of him in attack position. "No, matter, I will simply have to rectify the situation."

_So Dynast wants the Clair Bible so he can use it to rule the world._ Lina mused and turned to peer at Yade, remembering her rage at Sherrast's assumption that the book was not going to be destroyed. _This must be why the Phoenix is here, she saw the destruction the Clair Bible was capable of if it remained available to the monsters… wait no just Dynast, she knew Xelloss would be here...but not Sherrast. Hmm…_

Lina turned to face such "monk" but she was already looking at Xelloss, smiling her serene smile. "Awww. The Lesser Beast is afraid of bunnies!"

"We are not bunnies!" Lokkin said still grinning, although beginning to twitch, but was ignored again.

Xelloss smirked at her and narrowed his eyes. "Oh my! The little _monk's_ not really blind after all. How unfortunate!" He smirked as her expression faltered slightly and he felt the fear creeping into her.

The others, save Gourry, who was still confused as to why a bunny wouldn't eat lettuce, turned to face her.

"Miss Sherrast?" The princess pondered worriedly.

Much to Xelloss' annoyance and Sherrast relief, Lokkin, tired of being ignored, chose that moment to order his attack.

"GRINNING FLAMES OF DEATH!"

Zelgadiss and Amelia put up a defense shield around themselves Lina, and a now very confused Gourry.

"Huh? Lina!" He exclaimed shocked. "The bunnies can breathe fire!"

"Uhh!" Lina bristled, jumping on his head and bashing him soundly. "They're not bunnies, their Grins! Killer assassins from Dynast! Got it?"

"Okay! Okay! …Who's Dynast?"

The thrashing continued.

Yade had simply rolled out of the circle and was now dicing the Grins to bits from behind.

"Wow." Zelgadiss said impressed. "She's quite good with those things." Causing the princess to feel an unnecessary pang of jealousy.

Xelloss had tried to phase out, but had found himself held in place by something.

"Oh my." He said gazing open eyed at Sherrast, who had stabbed her "walking stick" through his cloak her serene smile taking on a sadistic gleam. "It appears that Dynast had more than one assassin after me. I see I've been quite careless."

"Xelloss! Sherrast!" Lina called, seeing that they were both out side the safety of the shield. "Get out of the way!"

Immobilized by Sherrast's power, which had a distinctly Dynast touch to it, he stood there, glaring open-eyed, as the flames washed over him. He smirked when he felt the Holy Magic laced within them. _I don't know how you managed it Dynast_, he thought dryly as he collapsed under the force of the magic. _But it truly seems you thought of everything. How very unfortunate._

"Xelloss!" Lina yelled in shock.

Yade turned from her work to see them engulfed in flames and shook her head slightly. _She is being drowned in a lake of fire and she still has that smile on her face._

"Gourry! Zelgadiss!" She called to the two males behind the shield. "It appears they cannot be destroyed by magic, use your swords and take them out from behind while I go in and get Xelloss and Sherrast. Amelia, shield yourself and the guys. Lina they also appear to use Holy Magic, your Ragna Blade would be most useful."

"Right!" Lina nodded "Gourry! Zel!"

"I'm on it!" Her blond counterpart replied leaping into action.

Zelgadiss pulled out his sword and in a moment was at Lokkin's side, the sword at his throat.

"Wow." Lokkin said peering up at the chimera, his grin never faltering. "That was fast."

He tittered, his little chipmunk laugh as a member of his pack turned his flame attack on Zelgadiss forcing him to drop his sword in order to put up a shield in time.

Lokkin grinned wider, and snatched the sword up, off the ground and in a flash of blue fur, and sharp steel, swiftly de-pants-ed him.

"But I'm still faster." He grinned, handing Zelgadiss back his sword and kissing him, in a sound Buggs Bunny fashion, on the lips before running off to finish leading his pack in their attack on the Beast Priest.

Zelgadiss let out an angry shout, causing both the princess and Lina to turn to see what was wrong.

"Mr. Zelg…" The princess began before blushing furiously, taking in Lokkin's "handy work" and turning away in embarrassment.

"Zel!" Lina admonished. "What are you doing!"

Zelgadiss sweatdropped, turning a deep, _deep_, shade of red and dropping his sword once more to pull his pants back up.

"You are SO my enemy!" He roared at the tittering Grin, raising his sword. "I'm going to kill YOU!"

"You have to catch me first!" Lokkin replied grinning and taking off into the wood, Zelgadiss following in a fury.

"Uhh!" Lina growled hair on end and fangs bared. "Do I have to do everything myself!"

"But Lina!" Gourry whined, as he sliced up another five Grins with one swipe of his sword. "I already took out 62 of them. These things multiply like crazy!"

"Maybe they really are bunnies." Amelia pondered aloud, a finger on her chin.

"I am not a bunny!" Lokkin yelled up at her, his grin slipping for the first time as he paused at her feet, tapping a foot of his own in outrage, before zooming off again, causing Zelgadiss, who had been in hot pursuit to topple her over, landing on top of the princess in a compromising position.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia gasped in shock. "What are you…" She trailed off flushing, far too embarrassed to speak.

"Yeah pervert." Lokkin, who had rushed over the moment he witnessed the hilarious outcome of his "handy work", asked grinning down at the scarlet faced chimera. "I know she's got a great back side and all, but you think you could at least wait until after the battle."

"I'm… going… to… kill… you…" Zelgadiss said very slowly as he got up, off, the mortified princess.

"You can try!" Lokkin replied grinning as he took off into the wood once more. A very angry chimera flung himself after him.

"Uhh!" Lina growled glowing red. "Enough already!" Desperate to kill something, she placed her hands in the familiar positions of one of her greatest spells.

**"_Lord of the dreams that terrify. Sword of cold and darkness, free yourself from the heaven's bonds. Become one with my power, one with my body, and let us walk the path of destruction together. Power that can smash even the souls of the gods …_"**

**"_RAGNA BLADE!_"**

"It is certainly about time." Yade muttered finally able to head into the circle of Grins that had been barbequing Sherrast and Xelloss for the past thirteen minutes.

The Grins tittered turning to meet the new blade threatening their mission and Lina sliced right trough them as Yade pulled the "monk" and the priest over to the still stunned princess' side.

"Miss Amelia!" She yelled. "Shield! Now!"

Amelia immediately stopped blushing, startled out of her embarrassment by the harsh tone of the normally, mild mannered Phoenix and leap into action just in time.

"Nice job toots!" Lokkin grinned smacking her on the back side he had complemented her on earlier, causing her to loose concentration and the shield to falter, resulting in herself and the three taking cover behind it to become quite toasty.

"Heh, heh, heh." Lokkin grinned pleased with his work.

Sherrast, who was apparently, unaffected by the Grins' attack, just stared serenely out at the horizon, Xelloss had drifted into unconsciousness after absorbing far to much Holy Magic, and Amelia was sprawled out, also unconscious, as well as extra crispy. Yade, who was unaffected by Holy Magic, took in the scene and glared down at the Grin.

"What!" Lokkin asked, his grin never faltering. "It's not my fault she's such a prude." He smacked Yade hard on the bottom, "Not like you, eh toots?"

Ever so calmly, she placed her right dagger back into it's sheaf, placed her now free hand around the base of his ears, and lifted him off the ground as she pulled her foot back, preparing to punt the little pervert back home to the north pole.

Lokkin's grin didn't change in the slightest. "Awww! Come on! You know you…"

The Grin's nasty comment was cut short as, a now beyond furious, Zelgadiss, still in pursuit of said Grin, came crashing into Yade, causing her to fall over on top of Lokkin.

Lokkin's eyes grew quite wide as he saw Yade's very full bosom coming in for a landing, right on his face. As they made contact, a spout of blood shot out from his nose and he too slipped into unconsciousness, stopping all attacks by the Grins cold and letting a furious Lina Inverse and quite dedicated Gourry Gabriev finish them off.

Zelgadiss flushed a deep shade of red for the forth time that day, and quickly jumped up, off the Phoenix.

"Forgive me Miss Yade." He said turning his head as he offered her a hand to help her up.

"Not at all Mr. Zelgadiss." She replied taking it with a sigh. "It was Lokkin's doing anyway, he was pushing your buttons the whole time."

She gazed down at the offending Grin and laughed. "Well it appears for all his vulgarity, he is very much a virgin." She then gazed down at her shirt and blanched seeing the blood on it.

"Unfortunately this was my only shirt." She said with a small sigh.

Zelgadiss, who was desperately looking anywhere but at the Phoenix, noticed that while there were certainly a great number of Grins, none of them seemed to be attacking, rather just standing there as Lina and Gourry sliced through them.

"Odd." Zelgadiss concluded aloud, gazing down at the unconscious Grin. "It appears they can only move on his orders."

"Hmm." Yade said with a small smile. "Then I shall tie up the little pervert and bring him with us."

Zelgadiss face faulted. "No! No way is that thing…!" he replied jumping to his feet and pointing his sword at the blue menace unconscious in her arms. "…coming with us!"

Yade fought to keep a smile off her face as she remembered Lokkin's little "attack" on the chimera. "I need to question him to find out more of Dynast plans, plus he uses Holy Magic, and is bright and fluffy, so he cannot be entirely evil maybe we can get him to join our side."

"Not entirely evil!" Zelgadiss fumed, red faced again, now with fury. "He might as well be Shabrinigdo incarnate."

Trying extremely hard not to laugh, Yade replied. "He is certainly not that bad! He is more like a cross of Xelloss' personality and speed, and Sherrast's odd ability never to stop smiling… well grinning, anyway"

"That's still evil to me." Zelgadiss replied dryly. "Maybe worse."

A chuckle finally managed to escape her grasp as she replied. "I shall give you that, alas, I really must bring him with us." She looked meaningfully at the chimera. "If he proves to be unresponsive to my questioning method however, I shall certainly hand him over so that you may work with him"

Zelgadiss considered the offer, nodded, sheaved his sword, and headed over to help the princess who had just woken back up.

* * *

Lina, breathing heavily, sent the Ragna Blade back to chaos, and sat down on the ground by the Phoenix, Xelloss, Sherrast and the princess and the chimera. "One… Hundred… and… forty… seven…"

Gourry slammed down next to her, also breathing hard. "How… how… can … there… be… so… many…?"

Lina just shook her head and turned toward the Phoenix. "What… do… you…"

Her inquiry was cut off and replaced by another. "What are you doing with that _thing_!" She exclaimed, seeing the still unconscious, now tightly bound, Lokkin, resting in Yade's arms.

"He controls all the Grins." She replied calmly. "I must question him. Also I would rather know his whereabouts at all times." She glanced down at the still unconscious mazoku. "Mostly for Xelloss' sake, as well as our own. The Greater Beast would be most displeased if we did nothing."

Lina blanched. "Right. The bunny's coming with us."

Lokkin twitched, even in his unconscious state.

"With us where Lina?" Gourry asked confused.

"To the next stop on the map, jelly fish brains!" Lina exclaimed jumping on top of the incompetent swordsman and beating the information into him.

"Okay! Okay!"

"Lina." Zelgadiss admonished, interrupting Lina's trashing of her cohort. "Xelloss can't move."

"So?" The sorceress shrugged. "He'll heal himself then catch up with us."

"Miss Lina!" The princess exclaimed. "We can't just leave Mr. Xelloss lying here! That would be unjust!"

Zelgadiss nodded, slightly annoyed that it was so. "She right Lina. In his current state even the lowest level sorcerer could take him out."

"And many lesser mazoku, as well as Dynast, would love the opportunity." Yade agreed quietly handing the Grin to Amelia who took it without thinking, blanched, then shrugged and held it, as Yade checked on Xelloss. "He has absorbed far too much Holy Magic; he should be out for at least three to four days." She stood back up and turned to Lina. "There is a village nearby, where it should be safe for him to rest. If it pleases you, I can fly us there." She said inclining her head.

Lina sighed, it would put them behind but Lord Beastmaster would have her head if she didn't comply. "Let's go."

Yade raised her head and nodded. "Meet me in the woods in five minutes." She replied, picking up Xelloss' pack and heading into the trees.

Sherrast, who, to her delight, was still being ignored by the rest of the group, watched her go with narrowed eyes. _A town where the little Beast Priest will be safe to heal? I wonder… _


	13. Episode 013: Huh? A Pottery & Mace Shop!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 013: ****Huh? A Pottery & Mace Shop?************!**

**********

* * *

********The Dragon Returns!**  


* * *

"You know," Amelia said, the bright sunlight glaring down on her as she looked lovingly at the still bound and unconscious Grin resting in her arms. "He's really kinda cute."

Zelgadiss and Lina face faulted, forcing Gourry to grab both of them, less they plunge to their deaths from the giant emerald bird's back, who was currently gliding about 300 feet off the ground.

"Cute!" Zelgadiss exclaimed in horror. "How can you possibly think that _thing_ is cute!"

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" The princess gasped. "I'm ashamed of you!"

The chimera blanched. "Me! What'd I do?"

"You of all people should know the injustice of being persecuted for ones appearance!" She replied, her eyes burning into his, before they took on a loving look as she twirled Lokkin in her arms. "Besides Miss Yade say's Mr. Lokkin's not entirely evil. It's my new mission to bring him to the side of justice!"

Lina, remembering not to face fault at such a high altitude this time, shook her head instead as Amelia jumped up, enthusiastically pointing a finger into the air. "What are you gonna do, make him sing the Life Is Wonderful song for hours on end?"

The princess shook her head. "Oh no!" She replied merrily. "I have something much better planed."

"And what would that be?" Lina asked, genuinely curious.

"Well," The princess said sitting back down comfortably and hugging the little Grin to her chest. "It's obvious that the poor little guy never had a real mother, and I'm sure Mr. Dynast never once showed Mr. Lokkin any love at all, causing him to seek out negative attention and bad touching. So I'm gonna raise him."

Zelgadiss, who was already mighty uncomfortable with where the Grin, unconscious or not, was resting, once again forgot where he was and face faulted, causing Gourry to grab him back up again.

"Your going to raise it!" He exclaimed in outrage as Gourry set him back down. "Your going to let that little pervert live with you!"

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia exclaimed wide eyed, "That is just the sort of negative attitude that created his unfortunate need to touch others inappropriately!"

"Well whatever." Lina resigned shaking her head, "Just make sure you don't act all motherly to him around Xelloss until he's well. I don't want to be delayed even longer."

Zelgadiss looked down at the, still unconscious, Priest. "He's still out." He muttered with bit of respect for the Grins abilities despite himself. "How could a simple flame attack do all this?"

"Ahh!" Sherrast replied serenely. "Well GRINNING FLAMES OF DEATH, is no mere flame spell. I gather from the great amounts of Holy Magic I felt in it, that it was a spell made specifically for the Beast Priest. It oddly enough had a dragon-like sort of feel, very close to that of a Golden Dragon." She shook her head in what may have been sorrow, hard to tell with that smile of hers, and said serenely. "I feel partially responsible. If he had not felt the foolish need to make certain I was out of harms way, he would have never been harmed, as such an attack was completely useless on me."

Zelgadiss narrowed his eyes. "Why would Xelloss feel the need to save _you_?"

Sherrast shrugged serenely. "I suppose his beloved Mistress ordered him to."

Yade, Lina, Amelia, and Zelgadiss, were inclined to doubt this but didn't say so.

Gourry on the other hand was so confused he didn't know where to start. Why did a bunny not eat lettuce? How did they learn how to breath fire? How could Yade really be a big green bird? How was a bunny related to Filia? He gave up and decided to ask his most pressing question.

"Hey Lina? Where are we going?"

Lina was about to throw herself on top of him and deliver a sound thrashing when she realized it was a good question. "Where are we going Yade?"

The Phoenix who had been silently listening to their conversation replied. "To that small village straight ahead. It is called Izsard, you and Xelloss have a… friend, there."

The gang looked out at the horizon and could see the church steeple of Izsard sticking up, about sixty meters in the distance.

Unfortunately for the Grin, and the princess' outfit, Lokkin's eyes blinked open slowly at that precise moment and he found himself facing an even larger bosom. Nose spouting blood again, he slipped back into unconsciousness.

"Mr. Lokkin!" Amelia squealed picking him up to look at him. "Are you okay?"

She looked down at her outfit then at the red headed sorceress concerned. "I think this bleeding might be serious!"

Lina snorted while Zelgadiss gave the blue furred creature a dark look. _Yes. Serious. _He thought, his hand gripping his sword hilt unconsciously. _If doesn't keep his little paws to himself, it may become downright life threatening._

"Not to worry Miss Amelia." Yade replied, stifling a chuckle. "We shall reach Izsard in less than an hour. After we drop Xelloss off at the home of his… friend, you and I shall head out to shop for new clothes and a stroller for Mr. Lokkin, I have a feeling that shall help end these nasty nose bleeds."

"Oh Goody!" The princess squealed anticipating the fun they'd have shopping.

"Huh?" Gourry asked confused. "How can a stroller help… Ow!"

Lina threw herself on him hard. "Just drop it okay jelly fish brains!"

"Okay! Okay!"

* * *

The gang waited for the Phoenix to return with mixed feelings of curiosity and fear. After landing, the Phoenix once again took Xelloss' pack, this time in her beak, and headed off into an alley telling them to wait here for her.

"Uhh!" Lina growled tapping her foot. "Where is she?"

"I am sorry I made you wait." Yade replied startling Lina and the others save Sherrast and the still unconscious Lokkin, as she came up to the group from behind. Once again, she came from the _opposite_ direction of where she should have approached from. "Alas, I was certain you would be most famished after such a long journey so I took the liberty of purchasing you some food until we reach the home of your and Xelloss'…friend."

"FOOD!" Lina, Gourry, and Amelia growled as Lina and Gourry snagged the basket of bread, meat and cheese. Zelgadiss frowned as the princess dumped his unconscious nemesis into his crossed arms; which, ironically, were in perfect cradle position, so she could join the feasting.

Yade chuckled. "Here I bought coffee as well." She said exchanging the mug in her hand for the little Grin. Zelgadiss gratefully accepted the trade.

* * *

After they had finished snacking, Yade handed Lokkin back to Amelia causing Zelgadiss to glower, picked up Xelloss and handed him to Gourry, and began leading them to their destination.

Sherrast took in the sights around her, her face still serene, but her mind pensive. _So it is who I thought it was after all. It will be interesting to see how this plays out._

"Lina. Look." Zelgadiss said pointing to a sign hanging above the building they were heading towards.

"Golden… Golden Antiquities' Mace and Pottery Shop!" Lina exclaimed, glancing at the others.

"Filia!" Amelia, Zelgadiss, and Lina concluded in horror.

"Huh? Where!" Gourry asked, dropping the mazoku on the ground, looking around confused.

Lina gave him a swift kick to the head. "It's her shop jelly… wait you remember who she is!"

Gourry nodded, as he mournfully rubbed his sore cheek. "She has a tail."

"A tail?" Sherrast inquired serenely. "What an interesting deformity."

The others shot her a glance, then Zelgadiss and Yade shared one.

_She knows who Filia is. _Zelgadiss thought darkly, remembering her taunting Xelloss at the fire. _Why is she pretending she doesn't. How **does** she know about Filia anyway?_

Lina, who was unaware of the little scene at the camp fire, had launched into a rather lengthy explanation. "… and so you see, not only is Filia a dragon, but she absolutely hates Xelloss." She looked at Yade. "Bringing him here is absolutely _insane_!"

Yade looked hard at Lina. "Do you know what powers the embodiment of the Phoenix possesses, Lina Inverse?" She asked softly.

Lina, caught off guard by her retort, thought for a moment. "You can turn into a giant bird?"

The others face faulted while Yade smiled lightly and replied. "That is one of them. Another is the gift of visions."

"Visions." Zelgadis repeated, arms crossed. "So you have the gift of prophesy."

"No." The Phoenix answered, shaking her head lightly. "Not prophesy. I do not _predict_ what _may_ occur, I see what _shall _occur, and I see Filia will accept him into her home… much to another's displeasure."

That said, she knocked on the door. There was a shuffle of feet, a turning of the lock, and then door opened, reviling not Filia, but rather who the Slayers could only assume was the "another" Yade spoke of.

"Hello! How can I help… " The handsome blond man began, before his bold blue eyes settled on the strangers, frowning he took a closer look, then smiled again, this time extending a hand. "Ahh! Lina Inverse! How nice to finally meet you! Fifi has told me so much about you. I'm Jarrek Maximus, Filia's fiancé!"

"Fiancé!" Lina exclaimed in surprise.

"Did you hear that Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia asked, clutching Lokkin tighter, as she turned to the chimera little hearts in her eyes. "Miss Filia is going to get married! How romantic!"

Zelgadiss just stared, ignoring the little princess who was still spinning around with Lokkin in her arms. He'd heard it alright. He glanced over at the unconscious mazoku. _If Filia does take him in she'll regret it. Once he hears this he'll stop at nothing to stop this wedding in an effort to make her life a living hell._

Meanwhile Gourry was confused as usual. _Huh? Fifi? Filia got a dog? Wow, and it's a talking dog, too!_

"Congratulations." Yade said with a diplomatic smile, shaking the still empty hand that he had extended several moments ago. "I am most pleased for you and Miss Filia, alas, it is indeed urgent that we speak with her."

Jarrek looked her over. "Well hello." He said in a smooth voice. "And who might you be? Fifi never told me she was friends with someone so… endowed… with beauty." He lifted the hand he was still holding to his lips.

Yade blanched at the nerve of a male, who was so obviously a _dragon_, as well as engaged, hitting on her. Lina glowed a fierce red, prepared to Dragon Slave the filthy sleaze ball, Zelgadiss pulled his sword loose, and Amelia was mentally writing the longest justice speech in history. Sherrast… well you know.

"I, _dragon_, am Yade Trekkai." She replied icily, ripping her hand from his grasp and retrieving it's dagger from her belt. Head held high, she pointed the dagger at his throat. "Embodiment of the _Phoenix_, and you Mr. _Maximus_, are never to touch me again, short of my life depending on it!"

Jarrek's smile took on a lecherous gleam. "Beauty and a temper! Mmmm. You are a catch."

Yade bristled, and had to keep herself and the others from killing Filia's unworthy fiancé.

"Fifi!" Jarrek called, heading into the house to search for the young dragon maiden, "You have some visitors."

"What a lovely young Gentleman." Sherrast commented serenely, earning a very dark look from the others.

Yade took the opportunity to talk with her fellow homicidal travelers. "I wish to kill that vile _dragon _much more than all of you. Alas, know that I am most seriously not jesting when I say killing that detested little namagomi at this _time_ will bring about the end of the world."

The three would-be assassins reluctantly calmed themselves.

"Huh?" An extremely confused Gourry asked. "How could killing Xelloss end the world?"

"Not Xelloss you idiot!" Lina said furious as she leaped on her blond guardian. "Jarrek! The blond sleaze ball who just opened the door! The one Filia's gonna marry!"

"Odd isn't it?" Zelgadiss sighed, peering down once more on the unconscious mazoku. "Too think she'd pin that title on Xelloss the moment she met him and not even realize she's marring it?"

"Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked confused but was cut off by a loud squeal of delight as Filia opened the door and saw Lina.

"Lina!" She cooed, wrapping the petit sorceress in a very strong hug and continuing her greeting over Lina's shoulder. "Mr. Zelgadiss! Miss Amelia… you brought a… pet! …You must be Yade, and I don't know who you are but hello! … WHAT IS THAT NAMAGOMI DOING HERE!" She exclaimed tail popping out, releasing Lina who collapsed to the ground gasping for air, and whipping out her trusty mace prepared to bash him off her lawn. A golden bracelet-ed hand gripped her wrist.

"He is injured Filia, please do not increase his suffering." Yade said in a soft tone

"Injured!" Filia growled. "He will be if he doesn't get himself off my fiancé's lawn!"

Yade shook her head softly. "No, Miss Filia. He is seriously injured. We were attacked in the woods by Lord Dynast's assassins." She looked down at the unconscious mazoku. "I am unaware how Dynast managed it, alas he created his assassins to use Holy Magic."

Filia's eyes widened and Yade released her wrist as she put her mace back. The slayers, save Gourry, who was searching desperately for a dog and Sherrast of course, stared openmouthed as she knelt down and checked on the trickster priest.

"He's completely saturated with Holy Magic!" She exclaimed eyes widening in outrage. "The nerve of that filthy mazoku Lord having his minions learn Holy Magic!"

She stood up in a huff. "Put him up in my room! I'll share Jarrek's tonight."

Lina stared openly at her, while Zelgadiss seemed incapable of speech.

"You can't be serious!" The sorceress muttered in shock. "You mean your actually letting _Xelloss_ stay here! In your own _room_!"

"It's pure blasphemy for a mazoku to use Holy Magic." She replied tossing her hair in disgust. "I'll let the little namagomi stay here until he's healed himself." She smirked picking up said namagomi and heading into the house. "It's the perfect punishment."

"She's… Right!" Amelia agreed, tucking Lokkin under one arm as she hopped up onto Filia's mail box in typical justice-pose fashion. "Let's show Mr. Dynast that Love and Justice concur anything."

The other sweatdropped, save Gourry who still trying to find that sneaky little dog and Sherrast. Then Lina shrugged and Zelgadiss crossed his arms with a sigh.

"Whatever." They agreed in unison.

Jarrek held open the door and leered at Yade. "I'm pleased you'll be sticking around Miss Yade. _Very_ pleased."

Yade grimaced and Lina snickered as she and the others headed around her and into the house. "I thought you said it'd be to another's displeasure. He doesn't look too displeased to me."

"I never said it'd be to his displeasure." She replied with a bitter sigh as she followed them in.


	14. Episode 014: PreWedding Jitters!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

* * *

**********Episode 014: ****Maces, Bad Pick Up Lines, and Wake Up Kisses?************!**

**********

* * *

********Pre-Wedding Jitters!**  


* * *

"I can't believe the injustice of Mr. Jarrek!" Amelia huffed later that night as they shopped, her hands tightening on the handles of the bright blue stroller Yade had purchased for her and Lokkin. "How could he ask that of Miss Yade?"

"Yeah well he's a sleaze ball." Lina replied simply, taking a bite of the funnel cake Yade had bought her. "You gotta expect him to do that."

"B-but…"The princess stuttered, turning red form both embarrassment and outrage. "He asked her how she'd feel if he told her she had a nice body to hold!"

"It's _if I told you 'you had a nice body' would you hold it against me_." Corrected Lina through the mouthful of funnel cake.

"Well either way." Amelia huffed, still outraged. "It was most unjust to both Miss Yade and Miss Filia for him to have made such a comment."

"I quite agree." Yade replied darkly, disgusted by the memory.

"Hey, don't worry about it." Lina said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "When Xelloss wakes up and finds out about this wedding he's gonna make the sleaze ball's life a living hell!"

Yade chuckled thinking of the possibilities. "Yes I think your correct Miss Lina." She grimaced again. "However it will also be hard on Miss Filia as well."

Lina shrugged. "Well at least he'll keep her from marring the creep."

Both Yade and Amelia brightened at that thought.

The two girls nodded with anticipation and headed into the store as Lina ate her funnel cake and waited.

* * *

Filia stood in the doorway watching the unconscious mazoku with mixed feelings.

"Why did I take you in namagomi?" She asked herself quietly.

"I was wondering the same thing myself." Came a serene reply.

The dragon maiden turned to see the elder-looking blue haired woman from before standing behind her.

"Sorry to interrupt." She said serenely. "But you seemed to have a lot on your mind."

"I'm sorry." Filia said with a polite smile, although thoroughly creeped out by the woman in front of her. "But who are you?"

"Oh I'm sorry! How rude of me!" The blue haired woman laughed serenely. "I'm Sherrast the monk."

"Oh." Filia said, with a light laugh, _Imagine! Being scared of a monk!_ "I'm Filia Ul Coup."

"I know." Sherrast replied serenely walking over to her, without the help of her walking stick. "And he's the detested Xelloss, murder of your race!"

She gazed past a shocked Filia at the apparently unconscious priest. "My, my, he certainly weak right now." She turned toward Filia, her serene smile in place. "You may never get this chance again."

"Chance?" Filia asked confused, and not a little disturbed. "What chance?"

"Why to kill him of course." Sherrast replied serenely.

Filia stared open mouthed at the "monk". "Kill… I'm not gonna kill him! He's unconscious!"

"And you could take him at his full power?" Sherrast asked serenely.

"Yes! … I mean No! … I mean I'm not gonna kill him!" She replied thoroughly outraged.

"Why not?" Sherrast replied in her serene manner.

"Because…" Filia began, _Because why? He did murder off thousands of your kind without batting an eye, why not kill him?_ She looked in on the unconscious mazoku lying in her bed, peacefully unaware of where he was or what was being said of him.

"Because it's wrong." Filia said softly, tearing her eyes away from the priest to peer hard at the monk. "And if you'd try it in my place. I will kill you."

Sherrast's eyes widened and she lost her serene smile completely for the first time. "I see." She sneered in disgust and headed down the stairs. "No matter I'll just kill him later anyway."

Filia watched her go with narrowed eyes. "The nerve!" She muttered "Why she's just like some…" She looked at Xelloss and sighed. "Like some monster."

Xelloss, who was very much awake thanks to the spell he'd cast on himself before passing out, was amused by the feelings he'd just felt pass through Sherrast and was now listening to Filia talk to herself with some interest. _How like a dragon._ He thought dryly. _Yare yare, saving the life of one who'd never even think twice about them._ He groaned as he tried to sit up and failed. _How like Filia._

Filia heard the groan, and forgetting he kept his eyes closed even when awake, assumed he was attempting to turn in his coma-like state. Sighing, her maternal instincts kicked in and she walked over to the bed and pulled the blankets that had fallen off back over him. "Xelloss. You were far too reckless this time. I don't know what happened but I hope you learned your lesson."

Xelloss was about to say he most certainly had, when he noticed the last feeling thrown at him. _Oh my… is that… compassion! I think I'm gonna be sick. How to rectify the situation… Yare yare. That'll do._

Blinking his eyes open dramatically, the trickster priest turned to gaze at the dragon maiden sitting on the bed next to him. "Filia… " He said quietly.

Wide eyed, the dragon maiden peered down at him. "Xelloss! You're awake!" She said gratefully.

Hmpt. Mentally smirking,he spoke up again, this time much quieter. "Filia… I…"

"What was that Xelloss?" Filia asked leaning over him concerned. "Speak up, I can't hear you."

Keeping himself from laughing, he shook his head. "Can't… come… closer…"

Eyes full of concern, Filia did so.

Struggling extremely hard not to laugh he spoke up again. "Closer…"

Filia did so, her nose now touching his. "What is it Xelloss?" She asked quietly, aware of the mild sparks she felt at being this close to him.

Xelloss, also aware, smirked. "This!" He wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her soundly on lips.

* * *

Down stairs, in the kitchen Zelgadiss, who had flat out refused to go shopping, was drinking coffee while staring daggers at Jarrek who was eating a sandwich, not noticing anyone now that Yade was gone. Gourry was also happily munching on a sandwich as Sherrast stared serenely out the window. Gourry was about to ask her if she could see the dog out there when a loud smash came from up stairs as the trickster priest slammed into the wall.

Without a second thought Jarrek leapt from his chair and ran up the stairs to check on his fiancé.

Zelgadiss sighed. "Look's like Xelloss is awake." He muttered sipping his coffee.

"Huh?" Gourry asked, snagging Jarrek's unfinished sandwich. "Oh that's good. Hey Sherrast, do you see a dog out there?"

* * *

The scene which met Jarrek's eyes was like one he'd never seen. His sweet tempered fiancé's tail was sticking out as she chased the now fully conscious trickster priest around the room with her mace, and he was LAUGHING!

"HENTAI NAMAGOMI!" She exclaimed in fury as she chucked her mace at him.

"Yare yare. Such a violent dragon." He replied ducking under it easily, causing it to wedge itself in the wall behind him. "It was just a little kiss."

Fuming, Filia searched the room desperately for something to maim him with; he cracked an eye as he felt her emotions. "Oh! I see! You're angry because you enjoyed it! Oh my! Well don't worry…"

He phased over to her side and kissed her again "I'll kiss you anytime you want Fi-chan!"

She blushed red in both fury and embarrassment and took advantage of his closeness to strangle him. "HENTAI! I WOULD NEVER… "

By this time Jarrek had definitely figured out what was going on and was furious.

"I think it's my place to decide that."

Still being "strangled", Xelloss opened his eyes and glared dangerously at the golden dragon.

"Oh?" He asked lightly. "And just who might you be?"

Jarrek, realizing just whom he was speaking with paled.

Filia, not noticing, released the mazoku's neck and placed an arm around Jarrek's waist, a dopey grin on her face.

"This…" She replied gazing up at the dragon in adoration. "…is Jarrek Maximus, my fiancé."

Xelloss found himself caught between two lines of thought. _Maximus_! Accompanied by a mental snort, and _Fiancé_! Accompanied by a mental eyebrow raise.

The general-priest settled for cracking an eye and smirking widely. "Fiancé eh! Oh my! This will be fun!"

Of all possible reactions, this was not the one the dragon maiden had expected.

"Fun!" She asked confused and not just a little frightened. "What's gonna be fun namagomi?"

"Why ruining your wedding of course!" He replied smartly.

"WHAT!" Filia fumed releasing Jarrek's waist and retrieving her mace from the wall. "WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

Xelloss smirked wider. "I'm going to ruin your wedding! Yare yare, clean out your ears stupid dragon."

"NAMAGOMI!"

Jarrek quickly ducked out, as his fiancé and the Lesser Beast picked up where they'd left off.

* * *

Lina tapped a foot impatiently. She'd finished her funnel cake thirty minutes ago, and was becoming annoyed.

"Where are they!" Lina growled. "Don't they know I'm hungry!"

She was about to dragon slave the shop, logic stating they'd have to come out then, when Amelia came running up to her wearing a new white sorceress uniform and pushing the stroller at breakneck speed.

"Miss Lina!" She cooed, picking Lokkin up out of the stroller. "Lookie what Yade bought me for Mr. Lokkin!"

Lina smirked as she saw that he was still bound, but wearing a pair of lavender footy pajamas. They had little white bunnies all over them. "I'm sure he'll love them."

"If he does not, we shall." Yade replied with a light chuckle as she joined them, wearing a top almost exactly like the one before.

Lina snickered. "Yep. Now come on lets go back to Jarrek's and eat!"

Yade paled and Amelia fumed, and followed the starving sorceress reluctantly.

* * *

Jarrek walked back into the kitchen, humming to himself.

Zelgadiss peered warily at him.

"Why are you so happy?" He asked taking a sip of coffee.

Jarrek turned to face him, a large grin on his face. Zelgadiss shivered unconsciously, that grin was a little too familiar.

"Xelloss is distracting Fifi!" He said cheerfully. "Now I can have more alone with Miss Yade!"

Zelgadiss coked on his coffee.

Now Gourry was even more confused. "Huh? Why would Xelloss distract the dog?"

Zelgadiss and Jarrek stared at him as Lina, who had just burst into the kitchen at full speed, followed closely by Amelia and Yade, asked "Huh? Xelloss is playing with the dog?"

"Huh?" Jarrek asked confused. "We don't have a…Hello there…" He trailed off spotting Yade.

Yade paled. "Excuse me, alas, I must go relieve myself." She said running out the door, her hand clutching her stomach.

Zelgadiss meanwhile, put two and two together and turned to Gourry. "Um. _Fifi_." He told the swordsman. "Isn't the dog, that's what Jarrek calls Filia."

"Ahh." Comprehension dawning on the swordsman. "So Xelloss is playing with Filia. Huh!" He shrugged and went back to eating as the others face faulted.

"So Xelloss is tormenting Filia." Lina shrugged, stealing half of Gourry sandwich and digging in. "What's new?"

"Absolutely nothing Miss Lina." He answered phasing into the kitchen behind her causing her to choke on her food.

"He's lying! This time it's much worse!" Filia exclaimed, panting as she threw herself threw the kitchen doorway and after the mazoku. "NAMAGOMI!"

Xelloss laughed as she chased him back up the stairs and then him back down, then finally giving up and chucking the mace at him only to have it wedge itself into yet another wall. Six wall slams later, the slayers decided it might be a good idea to vacate the house. Lina gabbing all the food she could gather, lead them out on to the front lawn where they sat and watched the violence ensue.

Taking a sip off his coffee Zelgadiss noticed that half the town's people were gathered around the shop.

Jarrek gazing expectantly around the crowd, noticed that Yade was not.

Lokkin stirred in his bonds only to discover that out of fear for his safety Amelia was clutching him tightly to her chest, nose spouting blood, he passed out again.

"Mr. Lokkin!" The princess squealed. "Oh no! Not again!"

Zelgadiss glanced over. "At least it was on those hid…wondrous pajamas and not you outfit this time."

Amelia noticed he was right and burst out in tears. "But what will he wear now?"

Zelgadiss just sighed and shook his head.

* * *

Meanwhile Lina had noticed the crowd and had left the food to Gourry as she sat up a stand selling Admissions tickets.

No one was really surprised when several loud cracks later the house collapsed.

Inside, Xelloss, who had noticed what was about to happen, teleported them out before it came crashing down on them.

"NAMAGOMI!" Filia screamed once he had set her down on the lawn. "MY Fiancé's HOUSE!"

Xelloss surveyed the damage. "Oh Dear."

"OH DEAR!" Filia exclaimed. "OH DEAR!"

She picked up her mace and smashed him soundly on the head.

Coughing, Yade, who had been hiding in the house the entire time, pushed her way out of the rubble.

"I just have one question..." She stated as she staggered over. "How in the name of chaos are you awake so soon?"

Xelloss grinned at her. "Ahh. Now that is a secret!"


	15. Episode 015: Uhh! Filia Too!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 015: ****Uhh! Filia Too************?**

**********

* * *

********Everybody Wants to Save the World!**  


* * *

"Well." Lina said as the food arrived. After the destruction of Jarrek's house they had set up camp at the local inn. "At least one good thing came out of this…"

"What's that Lina?" Gourry asked digging in.

Lina grinned and threw a large bag of gold on the table. "People in this town were sure willing to pay good money to see it."

Zelgadiss and Amelia face faulted.

"Miss Lina!" Filia cried outraged standing up from her seat. "How can you say that? That namagomi destroyed my fiancé's house!"

"Me!" Xelloss twitched setting down his tea cup. "If I remember correctly you were the one swinging the mace."

He cracked an eye to peer at her and smirked. "Oh I see! The dragon race is unable to own up to their own actions!"

Filia blanched and hung her head as the mazoku laughed. "The dragon race loves to blame their faults on others!"

Crying from guilt, Filia bolted from the inn.

"Maybe someone should go get her." Amelia said softly as she sat down next to Zelgadiss, a still unconscious Lokkin on her lap, the unfortunate stroller had been left in the house.

"Yep!" Lina replied cheerfully. "But I believe that's Jarrek's department."

All eyes, save: Gourry, who was currently busy stealing Lina's roast beef; Xelloss who was once again calmly sipping his tea; Sherrast who had strangely disappeared as soon as he'd woken up; and Yade who had headed up to her room claiming to feel _ill_, turned to face said fiancé, who was currently staring up at the floor above them with a look of longing.

"Huh?" Jarrek replied realizing he was being stared at. "Did someone say something?"

The others face faulted.

"Your _fiancé_…" Lina said climbing back into the chair. "Just ran out of the room crying!"

"Fifi's crying?" The dragon wondered aloud. "Whatever about? Oh well." A lecherous smile appeared on his face. "More time for me to be alone with Miss Yade!"

Zelgadiss spat out his coffee and Amelia turned a bright fuming red and hopped on top of the table tucking Lokkin under one arm. The whole inn including Lina and Gourry turned to look at the sight.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Amelia yelled pointing down at the shocked dragon with her free hand. "How dare you let your fiancé roam the streets in tears so you can peruse another woman! You are toying with Miss Filia's emotions and slandering the name of True Love! In the name of Justice I, Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune, shall punish you."

The shock wearing off Jarrek shook his head, a look of pure admiration on his face. "Wow! What a temper!" He gazed down and noticed something even more pleasing. "And you are even more greatly… endowed… with beauty than Miss Yade."

He gazed hopelessly lost at the princess. "I must have you!"

Amelia wilted, not able to compute the reaction to one of her strongest Justice speeches. Pale and at a loss for words, the princess slumped down in her chair. Fortunately Zelgadiss was full of them.

"You son of a…" He growled loosing his sword and sticking it under the offending slime ball's chin.

"She's not even a tenth of your age! If you insist to continue down this path you shall be my enemy." He glared dangerously at Jarrek. "And that is not something you want to be."

Blanching, Jarrek looked up from the blade to the chimeras face.

"I see your point." He replied weakly. "Besides Miss Yade is a worthy quarry."

Shaking his head with disgust, Zelgadiss sheaved his sword and sat back down in his seat. The inns people, disappointed that no blood was gonna be shed, turned back to eating. Gourry had already done so ten minutes ago, and Lina realizing this and frustrated that she wasn't allowed to Dragon Slave the sleaze ball, joined him. Amelia excused herself holding her stomach and Zelgadiss sighed, picked back up his coffee cup and took a sip. Finding it was now cold, he grimaced and raised a hand to signal the waitress.

Xelloss shook his head sorry to have to leave such a delicious feast, but alas, if he planned to wreck Filia's wedding he had to convince her to join the gang in their little quest without Lina noticing.

"Oh dear!" He said mournfully as he tucked his tea set back into his robes. "Well that was fun! But duty calls. See ya later!" He waved to the gang as he turned.

"Xelloss!" Lina called through a mouthful of food before she swallowed. "Where are you going?"

The trickster priest waved a finger. "Ahh. Now that's a secret!"

Lina groaned and turned back to eating as he smirked and phased out.

* * *

Outside of town Filia sat on a log and peered up at the night sky.

"How dare he insinuate that we dragon's don't own up to our own actions!" Filia huffed to herself aloud. "Why the moment I realized what my people had done I set out to fix it! I brought Valterria into my home with one purpose in mind to right the wrongs done to his race by my own! How dare he say such things to me!"

She sighed and flopped back on the log, staring fully at the star filled sky. "Then again he's right, I did destroy Jarrek's house." She sat up with a huff, cloaked in fire. "He just makes me so angry!"

_So angry you didn't even care about your Fiancé's house_. A part of her whispered. _So angry you didn't even remember you **had** a Fiancé. _

Startled she sat up, fortunately before she could ponder that fighting subject further, she felt a familiar tingle creep up her spine.

"Xelloss!" She yelled at the trees. "I know your out there!"

"Hallo Filia dear!" The trickster priest replied phasing into view next to her on the log, causing her to jump. "Thinking bad thoughts about me?"

"What do you mean!" Filia asked blushing nervously as she back away. _Mazoku can't read minds can they!_

"I mean." Xelloss replied pulling out his tea set and pouring himself a cup. "That I was listening to that little conversation you had with yourself a moment ago."

He pulled out another cup and smirked at her. "Tea?"

Filia narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why are you being so nice?"

He smirked. "Because you admitted you were wrong and I was right! That's cause for celebration!"

"I did nothing of the sort!" Filia huffed folding her arms and turning her back on him. "I simply said that I was responsible for wrecking Jarrek's house! What you insinuated about my race couldn't be farther from truth!"

_At least as far as **your** concerned_. Xelloss thought. Out loud he replied. "So how is little Val?"

Filia turned on him maternal rage apparent in her face. "Back home with Jilias and Gravos. Why do you want to know!"

Her eyes took on a fearful look. "You're gonna take him from me aren't you?"

Xelloss nearly spat out his tea.

"Please!" He replied laughing. "You _do_ remember Gaav right? Granted little Val will probably be easier on the eyes." He gave a mock shudder. "But the end result would be the same. Alas, the little ancient dragon has more to fear from your naming abilities than my Mistress!"

Xelloss shook his head in mock sorrow as Filia pulled out her mace.

"And what's wrong with his name namagomi!" She raged advancing on him.

"Absolutely nothing!" He replied with a smirk. "Valterria is a perfectly suitable name...if you're a girl."

He giggled and jumped away as Filia's mace came crashing down creating a small crater where he had been sitting.

"Yare yare! Such a violent dragon." He gazed down in the pit with mock sorrow. "You broke my tea set!"

"I'm gonna break you!" Filia roared lifting the mace over her head and lunging after the grinning menace, who of course fazed out of the way just in time, causing Filia to land on her head.

"Oh look!" The mazoku exclaimed with glee as he grabbed her own set out from under her robes. "I found another one!"

"HENTAI!" Filia exclaimed jumping up blushing scarlet from rage as well as embarrassment. "Give me back my tea set!"

"But Filia!" He whined with a smirk. "You broke mine! It's only fair!"

"Besides!" He said phasing in so his nose was touching hers. "It's nothing I haven't already seen!"

Filia fumed and glowed gold with power as she began to transform.

Xelloss giggled clapping his hands as he floated back ward away from her. "Oh my! And now I get a full show!"

And so he did as the enraged golden dragon shot herself at him. "XELLOSS! COME BACK HERE!"

* * *

From the woods Sherrast watched the irate dragon chase the laughing mazoku across the horizon with growing disgust. She was able to feed of the emotions being emitted in waves but it didn't matter. She hated the golden wench.

"Look at them!" She sneered in disgust. "They're like children. She had him! Xelloss! Weak and completely at her mercy and she didn't even have the guts to do anything about it!"

" 'It wouldn't be right!' " She mocked in high pitched voice shaking her head from side to side in a ditsy fashion. "Stupid dragon."

"He's just as bad." Her companion acknowledged darkly. "He's the most powerful mazoku besides the lords and he lets her call him names that he'd kill most mazoku for even thinking."

He shook his head and sneered. "He's actually laughing."

Sherrast turned to him with a dark smile.

"He _was_ the most powerful mazoku next to the lords." She glared at the laughing priest hungrily. "It's time he learned that's no longer the case."

"Your going to fight him then?" Her companion asked causally. "Lord Dynast told you he could not be certain your powers were stronger than the Beast Priest's."

She smirked into the night. "I'm going in to retrieve Lokkin tonight. With both of us against him there is no way he can prevail."

She looked darkly at the still roaring golden dragon. "And no little dragon wench to help him."

* * *

Forty minutes later Filia, too exhausted to keep chase, landed on the ground, creating a new meadow as she destroyed the trees in her wake, transformed and slumped against a tree gasping for breath.

"Oh dear!" The mazoku replied phasing onto one of the broken tree trunks and setting her tea set down on the stump as if it were a table. "You do create such lovely destruction"

"Nam… a… go… mi…" She breathed, her voice mostly gone from roaring.

"Oh my." Xelloss smirked. "You dragons are so weak!"

To weak to move, she simply glowered at him.

The trickster priest smiled. "How bout that cup of tea."

Filia meekly nodded figuring some water would definitely do her some good and pushed herself up and walked over as he poured them both a cup.

He smirked at her as she sat down and restrained himself from making a comment on her agreeing to have tea with a mazoku.

_I need to get her to come with us on this quest._ He thought and then smiled inwardly. _Besides, it will be so much fun to remind her of this later._

"So Filia!" He replied relaxing back on the log. "I came out here for a reason you know."

He smirked smugly. "Although the free dinner and a show was nice as well."

Filia's grip tightened on her tea cup but she was unfortunately still far to worn out to do much more.

Xelloss smirked wider, devouring the emotions emitting from her. "My real reason, however, was to inform you of my current mission."

"Your current mission!" Filia exclaimed setting down the tea cup in shock then turning suspicious. "What trick are you planning namagomi?"

"Trick!" Repeated Xelloss, narrowing his eyebrows in feigned surprise and pushing off the table with a gloved hand as if he meant to leave. "Well if your gonna be like that…"

"Wait!" Filia replied, unconsciously grabbing the hand to keep him from rising. "Please tell me?"

Xelloss peered amused into her pleading blue eyes and then raised an eyebrow at the sight of her hand over his. Blushing scarlet as she realized what she'd done she pulled the hand back quickly and turned her head. She had suddenly found the forest scenery _very_ interesting.

"Of course it's entirely up to you." She continued in a nonchalant voice, attempting to count how many leaves were on the oak next to her. "I couldn't care one way or the other what your Mistress orders you to do namagomi."

Smirking inwardly at the cocktail of emotions she was emitting, Xelloss made a show of thinking it over.

"Very well." He replied finally sitting down with a flourish and straitening his cloak over his lap. "Since you said 'please'!"

Filia snapped to attention her eyes wide then grimaced.

"Ohh. I did, didn't I?" She moaned.

"Yes I do believe a certain selfish dragon did request my services politely." He said in a light tone picking a leaf out of the crook of his staff before gently polishing its talisman with his sleeve.

"Just get on with it namagomi." Filia growled, only refusing to bat him to next year because she deserved to get that information.

"Oh my! _Impatient_ and selfish!" He cracked an eye at her. "What a horrid combination! You really should do something about that. People might end up thinking your some...well some monster."

Xelloss sipped his tea calmly as he ducked the mace, causing it to crash into the tree behind him.

"Long ago." He continued smoothly setting the tea cup down and drumming his fingers on his staff. "I was under orders to destroy any remaining copies of the Clair Bible less they fall into the… wrong… hands. I reported back to Lord Beastmaster assuming that I had done so. About four months ago Miss Lina stumbled upon a map entitled The Path of Shanaat, path to the Eye of Chaos. Supposedly, copies of the Clair Bible lay along it's borders as well as the Temple of the Rising Phoenix where the Sword of Tribute dwells. "

"Miss Yade's home." Filia stated out loud taking in what he was saying.

_How can she know so little about Mazoku Lords…_ He twitched despite himself remembering her calling his Mistress a **decrepit** and **old **Dark Lord, covered in ice at the **North Pole**. _And yet know what a Phoenix is? Then again to a servant of the gods the Messenger of the Lord of Nightmares is probably taught to be the greatest of Holy Beings. _

He smirked as he thought how they'd take it if they found out what she really acted like.

"What's so funny?" Filia asked suspiciously.

"Nothing..." He replied smoothly "Miss Yade is just an… interesting… woman."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean!"

Xelloss grinned wider as he tasted her rage laced with... _Wait a second! Is that….jealousy! Hmm. Stowe that away for later._

"Miss Yade was the one responsible for allowing the map to fall into Miss Lina's hands."

He brushed out a few wrinkles from his cloak as he continued, smoothly ignoring her last question. "I originally did not know if I left any undestroyed but I came across some new… information… and now can be certain I did. Not only that, but it would seem that Lord Dynast, who wishes to enslave this world rather than destroy it, is desperate to get his hands on it."

The general-priest's composure turned dark, his bangs shadowing his face. "He created an entire army of assassins to annihilate me as well as someone to infiltrate the group to keep an eye on their progress." He unconsciously emitted a low growl.

"Sherrast." Filia replied with a dark certainty. "She wanted me to kill you."

"I know." Xelloss replied, looking up at her, eyes still open causing Filia to gasp despite herself. "You made a wise choice."

Swallowing hard, Filia met his gaze. "I didn't do it because I was afraid of you namagomi, I did it because it was the right thing to do."

Xelloss snorted, eyes still open. "Your elders wouldn't say so."

Filia stared hard at him. "My elders are dead. Perhaps had they practiced what they preached they'd still be alive."

The priest nodded. "This is true."

Eyes closing again, he smiled lightly. "Either way, I'm glad I was awake, you're a great kisser!"

"Oh is that it huh!" Filia roared standing up as she transformed. "I see. I see perfectly!"

The mazoku trickster laughed delightedly as the dragon maiden chased him across the sky.

* * *

Back the inn, Lokkin, feared assassin beyond note, opened his eyes cautiously, relieved to be greeted by the ceiling and not a bosom, he began to get up but found himself held in place.

_What the…_ Lokkin gazed down to find himself tightly bound with a rope of some sort.

Grinning, the little Grin Master set to work biting through it. First task completed, he raised his head to see where he was.

In the window sill sat a stone figure, hand on his sword, but snoring lightly. Lokkin smirked, he liked that guy; he could live. He also noted the now very familiar form of the princess. Lokkin gazed at her mildly annoyed. His training had taught him that if someone could take you out, which she had managed twice with just a simple hug, you should take them out first, preferably when they were off their guard. The problem was he kind of liked the princess too, he gazed back over at the sleeping chimera, _And I know Stony over there really **likes** her._

He looked at her again, _Why kill her if I don't hate her?_ His emotions asked.

_Scratch that!_ His logic replied computing the situation farther. _Why give Stony a reason to kill **you**?_ Lokkin shook his head slightly. _Damn. Dynast's teachings are awful. _

"What are you staring at?" A cold voice asked.

Lokkin grinned, rotating his view over to the now awake and very alert chimera.

"I was trying to decide whether or not to kill her." He grinned rotating his gaze back to the princess. "I decided not. I kinda like her."

He rotated his gaze back to the startled chimera. "You like her too huh,_ Stony _?"

The chimera blushed slightly and turned his head. "I don't know what your talking about."

"And my name is not _Stony_!" He added, furiously noting what the Grin had dubbed him.

"Sure." Lokkin acknowledged with a grin. "You just normally sleep in people's window ceils, muttering their name in your sleep."

Zelgadiss turned on him. "I did not! … Did I?"

Lokkin grinned. "Did you what?"

"Say her name in my sleep!" He replied gazing at him annoyed

"You do?" Lokkin asked with a grin. "Why Stony! I never knew."

"Arrrgg. I'm gonna kill you!" Was Zelgadiss' infuriated reply.

"You can try!" Came Lokkin's familiar reply as he zipped out the door, chimera in chase.

* * *

Filia sauntered back into the inn, one thought on her mind. _If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. _

"Jarrek I'm back!" She called as she entered the room.

"Fifi! Darling!" Jarrek replied, exiting the bathroom and wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace.

"I was worried about you." He said kissing her on the nose affectionately then pushed her away abruptly gazing at her suspiciously. "You smell like that mazoku."

Filia's eyes turned hard. "He followed me." A low growl followed this and Jarrek took her in his arms satisfied.

"Foolish mazoku, thinking he can take my Phe… dragon." he muttered.

"Fi-Dragon?" Filia inquired gazing up at him.

Jarrek sweatdropped. "Uh… You don't like the nick name?"

Filia smiled. "Just as long as it's not in public. We're gonna be traveling with Miss Lina and I don't want to draw attention."

Jarrek beamed at her. "I was just gonna ask if you wanted to help them." He stated, a particular green eyed phoenix occupying his thoughts as he gazed into her blue ones.

"Isn't it amazing how we think completely alike!"

Filia gazed up at him, a set of amethyst shards occupying her own. "Amazing."

* * *

Lokkin smirked out from the bushes as Zelgadiss finally gave up chase and headed back inside. Sensing a familiar dark presence, the Grin Master turned to meet his comrade.

"Good evening Sherrast." Lokkin grinned. "So they found you out eh?"

Sherrast had removed the blindfold and now her grey mazoku eyes bore into his. "That's Master Sherrast to you Grin Master."

Lokkin snorted, grin not faltering. "Hardly. Don't assume because you're Lord Dynast's new General-Priest that I will bow to you. I don't even bow to Lord Dynast if I don't feel like it."

He gazed at her, his grin taking on a frightening gleam. "I have the power not too."

Sherrast gazed at him coolly. "Yes you do. Which is why I think Lord Dynast will be most displeased to find that you didn't dispose of the Beast Priest when had the opportunity."

She glared at the Grin Master. "You were ordered to use Grinning Holy Death, not Grinning Flames of Death!"

Lokkin gazed at her, grin gone. "I would like to know _who_ I am killing, not just why. Unlike you, slave, I have free will." He gazed up at the star filled sky. "It would foolish to waste it."

Sherrast glared at him darkly. "We will be following the group to their next destination. That shall be sufficient enough time for you to get to _know_ your prey."

She phased out, her voice continuing. "If you do not kill him, when next we battle, I _will_ dispose of you."

Lokkin grinned lightly at the spot where she had been standing.

"You can try…" He replied softly.


	16. Episode 016: Back to the Forest!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 016: ****Back to the Forest************?**

**********

* * *

********The Temple Awaits!**  


* * *

The next morning the gang set out. They were on foot as Filia, for some unknown reason, was dedicated on refusing to transform or be teleported by Xelloss, and Yade was thrown into a serious bout of dry heaving at the thought of letting Jarrek ride her. So, they walked. Nine hours later; long after sun set, they were back at the river they'd started from. Ever so casually, Zelgadiss tripped over a small boulder and tumbled in.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cried, forgetting her all day concern for Mr. Lokkin's whereabouts as she ran over to the river. "Miss Lina! Mr. Gourry! Mr. Zelgadiss needs help!"

"He needs to learn how to swim." Lina muttered, shaking her head at the now familiarly annoying predicament. "Oh well, at least this time he did it before Xelloss got out dinner. Hey Gourry!"

"I'm on it!" He replied, grabbing the chimera by the ankle and hauling him out the water.

"Oh no!" Filia exclaimed grabbing Jarrek's arm. "Didn't your brother Alleese die from drowning sweetheart?"

The blond haired dragon puffed up. "He most certainly did. I absolutely cannot in good faith let it happen to another."

He pushed his fiancé back lightly with an arm and walked over to the princess kneeling over the apparently unconscious chimera. "I'll save him princess."

Zelgadiss was in a horrid predicament, let this horrid slimy creep give him mouth to mouth, or get busted for what he was doing. The inner debate was interrupted by the meeting of the dragon's lips on his own.

Eyes popping open he choked on the water he had been holding in his mouth, giving a very convincing show of coming back to consciousness after drowning.

Xelloss watched amused. He had sensed the chimera's feelings of confusion and disgust and was very sure he knew what he was up too. Yade pursed her lips and silently glad that she _knew _for certain that she was not going to have any bouts with near drowning on this trip. Filia meanwhile gazed adoringly at her fiancé.

"You saved him!" she gushed, running over and wrapping her arms around his waist. "That was wonderful!"

Jarrek puffed out his chest smugly.

"Hey I'm just glad I was here!" He replied, spreading his hands with false modesty before hanging his head in mock sorrow. "I just wish I could have done the same for Alleese."

Xelloss found the dragon's smug appearance slightly annoying. _How dare he hold my dragon that way! Just because he thinks he saved that stupid chimera. _

Narrowing his now open eyes, Xelloss decided to set things strait.

"Alleese?" Xelloss asked feigning ignorance as he closed his eyes. "Wasn't he one of the Air Dragon King's followers?"

"Yes!" Filia hissed turning on him before Jarrek could reply. "He was a very powerful warrior!"

"Hmm." Xelloss replied appearing thoughtful. "Yes. I remember reading something about him. But it can't be the same one, that one was killed by his brother when Alleese walked in on him and his wife and threatened to take the matter to council. The brother was kicked out shortly after never to be heard from again."

Jarrek was forming a big sweatdrop as the others, even Gourry, stared at him murderously.

Filia, however glared, enraged, at the mazoku. "How dare you lie about Jarrek's brother that way!"

"Lie!" Xelloss replied, eyes open in genuine shock. "I **never** lie!"

Filia glared at him, hands on her hips. "Yeah right, you filthy monster! It's a good thing Jarrek was here or you'd have probably strangled poor Zel rather than help him!"

Xelloss twitched. "I would do no such thing! The only reason why I wasn't the first one over there to help him was because I DON'T BREATH!"

Filia smirked. "Ohh! I see! My, well that makes you completely worthless next to Jarrek here!"

"WORTHLESS!" Xelloss yelled. "Maybe me and _Jarrek_ should have a little battle, then we'll see whose **Worthless**!"

Mazoku and ryuzoku glared murder at each other.

"Come on now Fifi…" Jarrek said, his one big sweatdrop now an army. "Violence is so… vulgar." _Not to mention painfully life-threatening._

"Your just afraid." Xelloss spat.

"No he's not!" Filia retorted angrily. "He can take anything you dish out!"

"I was wondering how you met Jarrek, Miss Filia." Yade smoothly interrupted. "Perhaps Xelloss and I can go retrieve dinner…" She looked pointedly at said mazoku before turning back to the dragon maiden. "And you can tell us while we eat."

Filia calmed herself. "That sounds like a good idea."

"Yes." Xelloss replied closing his eyes, and attempting to regain composure. "The same place as last time?"

Yade nodded, interpreting the secret meaning of his question. "Yes."

Xelloss nodded curtly and grabbed the Phoenix by the arm.

"We'll be back shortly." He said phasing out with the Phoenix.

"Huh?" Gourry asked confused. "Where's Xelloss going?"

"To go get some food jellyfish brains!" Lina replied jumping on him and attempting to beat realization into him.

"Okay! Okay!" Gourry replied hastily.

"But Miss Lina..." Amelia interrupted, also confused. "I thought he usually just carried it around in that big sack!"

Zelgadiss and Lina shared a look.

"Well, you see…" Lina began rubbing the back of her head in thought. She gave up and looked at Zelgadiss. "You tell her Zel."

"Me!" The chimera grimaced. "But I was going to use it as black mail."

Lina's eyes lit up. "Hey! That's a good idea!"

She grabbedAmelia by the arm and looked apologetically over at Filia and Jarrek.

"Excused us a minute." She said, dragging thetiny and very confused princess off into the trees.

"What's going on?" A suspicious Filia asked the chimera.

"I'm afraid I really can't tell you that." Zelgadiss replied calmly. ":It would be _unjust_."

Filia and Jarrek were about to turn on him when Xelloss phased back into view lugging a gigantic sack, followed by a flash of green light in the trees opposite of the direction Lina and Amelia had headed into.

"Hallo!" The once again chipper trickster priest stated. "Where is Miss Lina?"

Zelgadiss stared at him. "You're sure happy again."

Xelloss shrugged. "What can I say? Yade makes a great meal!"

Filia glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Zelgadiss and Xelloss sweatdropped. "What! It was a complement?"

Jarrek surveyed the foliage. "Where is Miss Yade anyway."

"Over here." Came her answer as she exited the trees and joined them.

"Here." She gave Xelloss his pack back. "Thanks for letting me use it."

Xelloss smirked. "Thank you, for dinner."

Yade hung her head in modesty.

Filia and Jarrek scowled at Xelloss who pointedly began setting up dinner and lighting the fire not looking at them. _Oh my! **Two **jealous dragons. This **is** going to be fun._

"FOOD!" Came Lina's cry as she bolted from the forest and leap at the feast Gourry had already started in on. Amelia followed after her, face red, hands clasped, and little hearts in her eyes.

"Thank you for dinner Mr. Xelloss." She said. Sitting down on the grass and looking up at him.

Xelloss, feeling more than a little ill at the happiness radiating off of her in waves, turned a sick shade of green.

"Thank Miss Yade." He replied, causing the hearts in her eyes to grow three sizes, and the mazoku to turn to Filia out of desperation.

"Soooo. Filia, you were gonna tell us how you met Jarrek." He choked out.

Filia glared at him but then her smile took on a misty appearance causing Xelloss to have to work very hard at keeping his dinner down.

"It was August!" She began leaning on her fiancé and gazing up at him dreamily. "It had been three weeks after the battle with Dark Star, and I had decided to try and find Val a father."

A smile lit up her face as she recalled that experience. "The men of the town were positively awful! One actually camped outside my house for six weeks serenading me all day!"

She laughed and shook her head. Yade smiled, Zelgadiss and Lina snorted, and Amelia sighed. Xelloss looked hard at the tree line deciding whether or not to make a run for it.

"I eventually had to leave town just to get away from them all." Filia continued laughing. "Leaving Val's egg with Jilias and Gravos, I headed to Izsard on the pretense of buying a new kiln." She looked lovingly up at Jarrek who smiled dashingly down at her.

_I really need to leave!_ Xelloss thought in agony. _But I need to know what line this chump fed her if I'm gonna stop the wedding._

Filia turned back to the group who now, save Gourry, were listening on edge. "Jarrek, like myself had abandoned his Priesthood under the Air Dragon King after a disagreement with his elders on their doctrine involving the persecution of the Ancient dragons."

Jarrek smiled dashingly down at his fiancé, then out at the group. "When I heard about what Fifi had done for young Val...Well I was smitten. I proposed to her on the spot and turned my inn into a temporary shop until the wedding could occur."

He smiled down on her lovingly and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "I must be the luckiest dragon alive."

Filia blushed, Yade pursed her lips, Lina and Zelgadiss shared a look, and Gourry kept on eating.

Amelia on the other hand sighed dreamily, hearts clouding her eyes as she latched onto Zelgadiss.

"Isn't that the most romantic thing you've ever heard!"

Before the blushing chimera could utter a reply, Xelloss jumped over the fire, and rushed past him into the tree line.

"Hmm. Poor Xelloss." Yade commented. "I suppose that may have been a bit much for him."

Lina shrugged. "He'll get over it. So when's the date set for?"

Filia smiled. "Sometime next year. Jarrek needs to take care of some financial preparations."

"Well at least now the issue of where we're gonna live has been solved." Jarrek joked causing Filia to glower some more.

Zelgadiss eyed the moon over head. "We should turn in. We need to reach the Temple of Macious as soon as possible. Lokkin and Sherrast are probably still out there."

"Miss Sherrast was the one who kidnapped Mr. Lokkin!" Amelia stated, narrowing her eyes.

"No." Lina sighed getting up. "We went over this on the way here. Sherrast and Lokkin were both sent by Dynast to kill Xelloss. Zel's right we should go to sleep."

She looked over at the swordsman. "Gourry! Take first watch."

"I'm on it." He replied, and sat on a rock as the rest snuggled in closer to the fire for the night.

* * *

Yade sighed as she removed her clothes and dipped into the lake. She was still covered in blood from her the consoling she had given Xelloss earlier, but had wanted to wait till she was certain Jarrek was asleep before heading off. Gourry had also been asleep but his watch was almost up so she was unconcerned.

Sighing once more she settled deeper into the water and thought about the things to come, about her death.

* * *

Xelloss had climbed into a tree for the evening knowing that he was still weak from the Grins' attack and as such was going to sleep again tonight. Unfortunately he also had the same dream as last night…

_"HENTAI NAMAGOMI!" She exclaims in fury as she chucks her mace at him._

_"Yare yare. Such a violent dragon." He replies ducking under it easily, causing it to wedge itself in the wall behind him. "It was just a little kiss."_

_Fuming, Filia searches the room desperately for something to maim him with, he cracks an eye as he feels the emotions she's emitting._

_"Oh! I see! You're angry because you **enjoyed** it! Oh my! Well don't worry…"_

_He phases over to her side and kisses her again "I'll kiss you anytime you want Fi-chan!"_

_She blushes red in both fury and embarrassment and takes advantage of his closeness to strangle him. "HENTAI! I WOULD NEVER… "_

_By this time Jarrek has definitely figured out what is going on and is furious._

_"I think it's my place to decide that."_

_Still being "strangled", Xelloss opens his eyes and glares dangerously at the golden dragon._

_"Oh?" He asks lightly. "And just who might you be?"_

_Filia releases his neck and places an arm around Jarrek's waist, an evil smile on her face._

_"**This** is Jarrek! My **Fiancé**!"_

_"I see." Xelloss replies darkly, as he grabs her wrist and phases them out._

_They reappear outside of town._

_"Let me go, namagomi!" Filia screams, and he does so, causing her to tumble backward._

_"Have you slept with him?" Xelloss asks looking down at her in disgust._

_"Hentai!" Filia spits, probably wishing furiously that she had her mace. "Of course not! Not that it's any your business."_

_Xelloss nods, ignoring the last comment. "Do you love him?"_

_"I…uh…Of course I love him." She spits outraged. "How dare you ask me that!"_

_She tilts her head to look at him. "Why…why would you ask that?"_

_"You're lying." He smirks down at her, once again ignoring her last comment._

_"I am not!" She replies standing to her feet in rage. "Why are you saying that!"_

_"No." He replies smugly, shaking his head. "You don't."_

_"Yes I do!" She yells, her face inches from his own. "STOP SAYING THAT!"_

_"WHY!" He yells back. "BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS TRUE!"_

_"ITS NOT TRUE ITS…" He cuts her reply short as he kisses her, wrapping his arms around her waist to keep her from escaping. He needn't have, she had no intention of escaping but rather kissed him back.. He pulled her tighter and... _

… Gave a startled yell as he fell out of the tree and head first into the river.

Shaking himself off he got to his feet. "Damn it!"

"Bad dream?" Called a humble voice.

Xelloss grimaced and turned to see Yade, submerged in water up to her chin gazing at him concerned.

"The worst of my life." He replied honestly, wading over. "What are you doing out here?"

Sighing Yade sat back against a rock. "I felt the need to take a bath without Jarrek's eyes on me."

"The _dragon_!" Xelloss asked in disturbed awe. "Isn't that like blasphemy or something to them?"

Yade looked evenly at him. "It is blasphemy for a mazoku as well. Phoenix's are the essence of balance, for either side to lust after them is completely vile."

"Don't worry." Xelloss replied sloughing down into the water with a sigh. "I'm into blonds."

"I _know_. I have _seen_ your mate." Yade replied closing her eyes. "So do you want to tell me about your little nightmare?"

Xelloss grimaced. "I'd rather not."

"Come on." Yade coaxed. "I can help you know."

Xelloss raised an eyebrow at her. "Why is it that I get the feeling you already know?"

The Phoenix shrugged. "Because I do. I also know you have no intention of telling me so I shall leave it at this; the next destination on the map after the Temple of Macious is the Isle of Lala. I understand you are friends with a certain travel agent. He may be able to help us both out."

Xelloss grin took on a wicked gleam. "Hmm. This is true." _Oh my! Won't this be fun!_

* * *

The next morning the gang had breakfast and began walking off towards their destination.

"I'm hungry!" Lina whined two hours latter. "Can't we stop and have lunch?"

Xelloss looked at the fiery haired sorceress. "Lina. Does my life mean anything to you?"

Lina glowed red. "I don't know, does it?"

Xelloss sweatdropped. "Errm...Lunch sounds good."

Zelgadiss waited patiently until he had unloaded today's feast of clam chowder, beef stew and bread...lots of bread before making his move.

"I need to speak with you." He stated grabbing the mazoku by the arm and attempting to haul him off into the trees. Xelloss gave an amused shrug and allowed it.

"Why Zel!" He said after they were out of ear reach of the group. "I didn't know you cared."

Zelgadiss glowered at him. "I know about you and Miss Yade."

Xelloss' smile disappeared. "Is that so."

The chimera nodded with a smug smirk. "I was on watch after Gourry last night and I saw you two."

He shook his head. "I don't know what she sees in you but that's…"

"Wait a second!" Xelloss cut in, thoroughly amused. "You think that Yade and I are…"

"Cut the crap Xelloss." Zelgadiss interrupted cutting him off. "Both me and Lina have seen her clothes when she gets back from being alone with you, their always outof place."

He glared at him. "I've seen that how happy you are too, fruit cake. Don't try to lie to me."

Xelloss could barely contain his laughter. _Oh this is rich! They think that I… with a Phoenix!... A Phoenix of all creatures!_

Xelloss hung his head in mock shame.

"Oh my." He replied careful not to lie. "This is true, she does take her clothes off around me far to often; she was bound to get caught."

He looked up at the chimera, in mock pleading. "You won't tell anyone will you?"

Zelgadiss smirked cruelly. "I'll make you a deal."

"A deal?" The mazoku inquired raising his eyebrows. _Damn you, Yade!This is gonna cost you._ "What sort of deal?"

"I know you know that I've been 'drowning' on purpose." Zelgadiss replied darkly. "I'm sure you've also probably figured out why. The deal is if you tell no one my secret, I tell no one yours."

The chimera offered a hand and Xelloss grinned I was already planning on that ! _It's far to amusing a situation to spoil._

"Deal." He replied shaking the hand. "Now lets head back. I'm sure they'er getting suspicious by now."

Zelgadiss nodded and they did.

"Where were you namagomi!" Filia bounded on him accusingly.

"Just having a conversation with Zel." He replied sitting down and pulling out a new tea set. "Did you miss me?"

"No!" The dragon growled. "I was simply worried for Mr. Zelgadiss' well being."

"Is that so?" The mazoku replied taking a sip of tea.

"Yes!" Filia replied, tail popping and mace pointed at the tranquil priest. "You might try to corrupt him!"

Xelloss raised an eyebrow, thinking of the little underhanded deal that had been 'forced' on him. "Then why didn't you ask him where he was?"

"I… um … well... I…" Flustered she narrowed her eyes. "Quit evading the question namagomi."

"_I_ answered the question." He replied, softly. "I believe it is you who is evading it."

"No matter." He replied getting to his feet and packing the leftovers back into the bag. "I'm certain Miss Lina and Mr. Zelgadiss wish to move on."

Lina looked greedily at the horizon and Zelgadiss was relived.

"Come on." the sorceress directed, grabbing Gourry and pulling him off.

Zelgadiss shook his head and sighed, he and the princess following.

Yade cast Xelloss a worried look and headed out after them, Jarrek saw the exchange, glowered at Xelloss and followed his _quarry_ into the trees.

Xelloss smirked at Filia. "Shall we?"

Filia must have taken that simple phrase completely wrong for she dropped her mace in shock.

Xelloss smirked in amusement and sighed, gazing at his unfortunate pottery.

"Filia." He whined , picking up the pieces. "That's the second one you've broken. You owe me."

* * *

An hour and half later, they finally reached the Temple.

From the bushes Sherrast watched with a sadistic smile as they entered bickering the entire way. Once they were completely out of view she turned behind her.

Lokkin stood, grinning, flanked by a legion of also grinning Grins.

"So." Sherrast remarked coolly. "Have you seen enough of his behavior to decide if he'll die today?"

"Nope." Lokkin replied, grin still in place. "In fact, he shows a lot of promise."

Lokkin thought of the exchanges between him, the dragoness, the chimera and the Phoenix.

"He amuses me."

Sherrast glared at him. "Well he does not amuse me, or Lord Dynast for that matter."

Lokkin, who had begun forming his own views on Lord Dynast replied smoothly. "I shall weaken him. You kill him."

He grinned up at her. "If you can that is."

Sherrast gazed at him coolly. "I can. And then I'll kill you."

Lokkin grinned, and his army tittered their little chipmunk laugh. "You also amuse me."

He rotated his head to peer at his pack. "Surround the Temple. Leave no opening unguarded. Wait for my command."

He rotated his head back to Sherrast. "Hmm. This will be fun!"

Sherrast glared hungrily at the main opening. "Indeed."


	17. Episode 017:The Grin Masters Weakness!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

* * *

**********Episode 017: The Grin Masters Weakness************!**

**********

* * *

********A Travel Agent?**  


* * *

Lina stared hungrily at the walls of the temple. Unlike the Ruins of Alba, the Temple of Macious was lit by several large glowing orbs. Their light bathed the already amber colored clay walls in a golden hue. On the walls were shelves and shelves of gems all carved to look like fruit.

"It's beautiful!" Filia gasped looking at a golden bowl of amethyst grapes that bore emerald vines.

"Oh Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia gushed, taking in the sight of a gold bowl of sapphire blue berries sitting on a patch of tiny opal flowers that adorned their emerald leaves. "Aren't they wonderful!"

Zelgadiss looked at them and then back at her own sapphire eyes, thought many cliché lines of poetry, and looked down with a blush. "Yes, they are."

Lina's eyes grew to be the size of the giant ruby raspberry, being held by a large golden monkey. "That one's mine! Grab as much as you can guys!"

Amelia beamed and went to pick up the bowl of berries.

"That wouldn't be wise." Xelloss spoke up. "Everything in here is cursed."

Amelia pulled back her hand in shock. "Cursed Mr. Xelloss!"

"Uhh!" Lina moaned dropping to her knees and pounding the floor. "Why does everything we come across always have to be tainted!"

"Huh? Tainted?" Gourry looked at the gold gilded, marble banana in his hand, unaware it was a rare stone and not food and bit it. "Oww! That hurt! Your right Lina, this fruit is awful!"

Take the giant ruby raspberry, and multiply it's circumference by ten, and you get the size of the gang's eyes.

"Gourry!" The sorceress exclaimed in horror. "Put it back.."

Too late. Lokkin watched with a twisted grin as the Temple emitted a bright red light and the imploded on itself. Coughing, Lina pulled herself and the swordsman up from the rubble, whacking him repeatedly.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!" Gourry whined, miraculously still holding onto the banana. "I'm sorry Lina."

"Put me down namagomi!" Filia yelled from thirty feet above the scene. Xelloss, as usual, had seen what was going too happen and had whisked both her and the Phoenix out of there before the temple could come crashing down on them. He had gotten Filia by the waist and Yade, who was feeling slightly dizzy from the blood rushing to her head, by the ankle.

Jarrek, also coughing, pushed his way from the wreckage. Seeing the mazoku holding both his dragon _and_ his Phoenix, he yelled up. "Put her down!"

Xelloss smirked gleefully down on him. "Which one?"

The golden dragon glared up at him. "The Phe...Dragon! My fiancé damn it! Put her down Xelloss!"

Xelloss looked at him smugly. "Are you _sure_? You sounded like you were…"

He was cut off at this point as Zelgadiss, who had shielded Amelia from the falling rubble, pushed the slab of stone covering them off, and the princess spotted a familiar face.

"Mr. Lokkin!" She cried and all eyes turned to see her run at her beloved… Justice mission?

Lokkin, feared assassin beyond note, watched in horror and mild fascination as the little princess boldly ran through his pack, which for some unknown reason he could not tell to attack, and scooped him up into her arms. Lokkin's last thoughts before once again spouting blood and passing out, were caught between _Stony's gonna kill me!...She's so odd...Well he's gonna **try** anyway...This feels kinda nice… Well Dynast really can't blame me for this one… and … yes he can._

"Mr. Lokkin?" Amelia asked sorrowfully looking down at the glazed Grin Master as his head rested on her now once more bloodied robes. "Ooops."

Lina, now no longer distracted by her vicious punishment of her self-appointed guardian, turned to see they were surrounded on all sides by Grins, she turned back to Gourry and they exchanged a look and a nod, and Gourry removed his sword as Lina placed her hands in their rightful positions for the spell.

_"Lord of the dreams that terrify. Sword of cold and darkness, free yourself from the heaven's bonds. Become one with my power, one with my body, and let us walk the path of destruction together. Power that can smash even the souls of the gods… "_

_"RAGNA BLADE!"_

Xelloss too, took notice of the scene and complied with both Filia and her fiancé's wishes dropping both women onto a pile of grinning Grins. Yade had seen what he was going to do, so she had pulled out her daggers in midair and was prepared to slice and dice!

Unfortunately, she was just a _little_ woozy, so instead she toppled over backwards into the river just as Filia landed, bosom first onto a pile of Grins, taking them out for the count and causing her to blush a brilliant shade of red and Xelloss to titter with glee.

Zelgadiss headed over to the river to fish the Phoenix out, just as she burst out of the water an angry expression on her face, causing the startled chimera to _really_ trip into the river.

The responses to these incidents went as followed:

"Oh dear!" Xelloss stated amused.

"Namagomi! My dress!" Roared Filia getting up and brandishing her mace.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Squealed Amelia running over to the water with Lokkin in her arms.

"Xelloss..." Growled Yade, soaked and fuming, daggers drawn.

"Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle…" Replied Zelgadiss from under the water to the princess' concerned gaze.

"One… hundred… and… fifty… one…" Panted Lina as she continued to destroy the grinning plague.

"Oww!" Exclaimed Gourry who once again tried to bite into the banana while continuing to eliminate the Grins.

"Fifi! Are you all right?" Came Jarrek's concerned call as he ran over and placed a possessive arm around her as he glared up at Xelloss, at the same time sneaking several peaks at Yade's soaked bosom.

Twitch, twitch, went the mazoku. Gag, gag, went the Phoenix.

"Miss Lina!" The princess yelled. "Mr. Zelgadiss is in trouble!"

"Well then fish him out and let Jarrek deal with it." Came the sorceress' annoyed reply "One...hundred … and … eighty… four…"

"GURGLE, GURGLE, GURGLE, GURLGE!" Negated the chimera from under the water, eyes wide.

"I'll get him." Yade sighed grabbing him by the ankle and pulling him out.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cooed setting Lokkin down on the grass and wrapping her arms around him. "Your okay!"

The chimera blushed and looked up at Yade, relief etching across all of his features. "Thank you!"

The Phoenix smiled. "You are most certainly welcome." She shuddered. "I would not wish that fate upon my worst enemy."

Both Amelia and Zelgadiss grimaced in agreement.

"One… hundred… and… ninety… six…" Lina sliced.

"Oww!" Went the swordsman again.

Whack, whack, went the sorceress. "Gourry! You jellyfish for brains! Knock it off!"

"Xelloss!" Raged the dragoness. "Why didn't you help him!"

"Me!" Xelloss, twitched angrily and landing on the ground a foot from her. "Why didn't _you_!"

"Because you decided to use me as a weapon again!" Huffed the fire cloaked dragon marching in to close the distance.

"ENOUGH!" Sherrast yelled phasing in between them and holding her hands out to separate them. "I CAME OUT HERE TO KILL THE BEAST PRIEST! AND BY THE GODS, I AM GOING TO DO SO!"

"Is that so?" Xelloss asked darkly, he was already in the mood to kill something, she'd do.

Sherrast smirked sadistically and shoved the dragoness aside, into Jarrek's waiting arms. "Yes. It is."

Xelloss smiled, equally sadistically, and phased out followed by Sherrast. Both reappeared about forty feet in the air and began.

"Two...Hundred...and… Sixtee...Huh?" The sorceress broke off looking up into the air where Xelloss was now merging into a thousand little pieces and stabbing them into Sherrast who simply laughed serenely. "What's Xelloss doing! If he could stab her right through the back and not kill her how's that gonna to work?"

Yade looked up at the seen, her expression taking on a pensive look as Sherrast returned his attack with a black ice one of her own. This one had no effect on Xelloss and suddenly it dawned on her why neither could kill the other. She shook her head with disgust.

_Dynast! Here me now! L-Sama shall not stand for this blasphemy! I shall have your head on a platter! A cold laugh greeted her in reply from the astral plane and she closed her eyes with a small smile. So my assumption **was** correct. Thank you!_

"Zelgadiss!" The Phoenix called. "She can only be harmed by Shamanistic magic! Take her out."

Lina looked from the unusually darkened Phoenix's expression, to Zelgadiss. "Do it Zel."

Zelgadiss looked down at Amelia and she nodded and handed Lokkin to Lina who grudgingly took him with her free hand. Silently they stood and prepared.

_"Source of all souls which dwells in the eternal and the infinite. Everlasting flame of blue. All power hidden deep within be called forth here and now…"_

_"RAH TILT"_

Sherrast's eyes grew wide as she quickly teleported to the astral plane to shield herself narrowly escaping destruction.

Xelloss smirked as he reappeared beside her. "So it would seem we have found your weakness, eh Sherrast?" He peered down below the astral plane at the unconscious Grin Master. "You and your pet's."

There was a flash of cold dark bluish black energy and Lina found her arms empty. "This isn't over." Sherrast's voice called. "I'll be back."

Xelloss phased back in and landed on the ground with a flourish, his bangs darkening his face. "Hmm."

"Mr. Lokkin!" Called Amelia running over to Lina. "She took him again!"

Lina sighed and sent the Ragna Blade back to chaos. "Amelia, Lokkin and Sherrast are in this together."

Zelgadiss shook his head walking over. "I'm not so sure. I know how fast he is, he could have escaped."

Lina, Xelloss, Filia and Yade pondered this for a moment as a beaming Amelia smiled adoringly up at the chimera, who blushed and turned to watch the ever dedicated swordsman take out the remaining grins, pausing ever so often to take a bite of the banana.

Lina looked up. "Well I still don't care for the little creep but I think you're right."

Xelloss nodded. "This will prove to be interesting."

Yade smiled down on the little princess. "It appears there may be something to your plan to raise the little creature after all."

The little princess beamed out at all of them. "Of course! True Love and Justice can conquer anything!"

The other's sweatdropped and Xelloss turned a little green but then he noticed something that made him perk up.

"Oh dear!" The mazoku called gleefully to the dragon who had been attempting to sneak back out from the trees when no one was looking. "Oh my Jarrek! It would seem you are a coward after all! How unfortunate!"

Jarrek looked up, his eyes widening as he realized he'd been caught.

Filia looked at him oddly. "Were you running away?" She asked in a shocked sadness.

The dragon grinned broadly. "Of course not Fifi." He pulled a golden apple out from behind his back. "I just went to go retrieve this from the temple."

He hung his head in mock sorrow. "It was supposed to be a surprise...but…"He shrugged and looked up at her sheepishly.

"Oh sweetheart!" Filia squealed running up to him and wrapping her arms around his waist, taking the apple from him, thus causing the dragon to puff up and the mazoku to grimace _and_ twitch. "It's lovely."

"Wasn't the Temple in the opposite direction?" Zelgadiss asked the others under his breath. They looked at him, Lina glowed red, Amelia's eyes widened then narrowed and Yade simply shook her head in disgust.

"Yes." Xelloss agreed quietly considering something else. "I believe you are right. How very unfortunate."

Gourry sheaved his sword and wandered over. "Lina." He whined. "I'm hungry!... Oh hey a banana!"

* * *

Four days later the gang reached the nearest town.

As usual, it was total feeding madness.

"Gourry!" Lina whined as the swordsman snagged a pork chop off her plate. "That was mine!"

Gourry promptly stuffed the pork chop into his mouth out of habit and likewise Lina Fireball-ed him out of habit.

Amelia, now wearing yet _another_ new uniform, ate with more dignity, as Zelgadiss simply drank his coffee impassively.

Filia glowered at Xelloss who was drinking tea from her tea set that he had snagged from her the night before insisting she owed him two already. She supposed that was true but she'd never tell him as much.

Xelloss smirked, thoroughly enjoying the meal she was giving him and held out a cup to her. "Tea?"

Jarrek meanwhile, was completely missing the entire exchange as he was watching Miss Yade with a lecherous gleam in his eye.

Yade, feeling more and more nauseous by the moment, stood up and looked pointedly over at Xelloss. "Xelloss? Is it not about time to purchase the tickets for our trip?"

Xelloss forced himself to stop tormenting the dragoness, and smiled at the Phoenix. "Quite right Miss Yade!" He stood up. "If you'll excuse us." He smirked down at Filia. "You can have your tea set back...for now."

Before the glaring dragon maiden could retort, Lina swallowed her food and looked at Xelloss and Yade. "What trip?"

Yade smiled. "The next stop on the map is on an island." She stated, careful not to say which one in case their enemies were listening. "We will need a ship. Xelloss has a friend who is a travel agent."

Zelgadiss gave him an odd look. "Why would _you_ be friends with a travel agent?"

The mazoku trickster waved a finger. "Ahh. Now that's a secret!"

"Of course." Lina grumbled as Gourry looked up at him a perplexed look on his face.

"Um Xellos?" He asked.

"Yes Gourry?" Replied Xelloss with a polite smile.

"Is he an evil travel agent?"

The others looked up worriedly.

Yade struggled to hold back her laughter. "No, Gourry not evil. Just…" She smiled secretively at Xelloss. "… Dedicated."

The gang stared at the pair suspiciously, the two dragons also with jealously, much to Xelloss' delight and just for that reason, did he place an arm around Yade's waist as he ushered her out the door. "Come along Yade _dear_." _Oh yes, this was going to be **very** fun!_

Lina shook her head as she watched them exit. "Oh no! Nothing going on there at all!"

Zelgadiss shot her a warning look but it didn't matter as Amelia sighed, little hearts in her eyes, and stated. "Isn't True Love romantic?"

"WHAT?" Came Filia's enraged cry. "Xelloss seduced a PHEONIX?"

Lina stared evenly at her. "_Yade_ was the one taking her clothes off in public. I think _seduced _is far too strong a word. More like agreed to it."

"Nonsense." Jarrek stated, crossing his arms a bitter expression darkening his face. "There's absolutely no way the Beast Priest could wield_ that_ sort of power."

"I quite agree!" Filia agreed, also crossing her arms with a pout. "That namagomi must have tricked her into it."

Lina shrugged. "If you say so."

She then went back to eating, bringing the matter to a close.

* * *

"You said there were four plus yourselves?" Marcus, Xelloss' elusive travel agent friend asked with a smile quite similar to the trickster's own.

"Correct." Xelloss agreed, matching his smile. "Is there still room in first class?"

Marcus winked at his long time comrade. "Ahh! Now that's gonna cost you extra!"

Xelloss shook his head in mock sorrow. "Oh dear! You aren't going to make this easy are you? Very well what do you want?"

Yade smiled softly as the travel agent tilted back in the chair. "Hmm. What would be near impossible to obtain?"

He grinned darkly and popped back up. "I want Queen Martina's personal talisman of the _Monstrous_ Zoamelgustav."

"Oh dear! Is that all?" Xelloss asked smugly, raising an eyebrow with a smirk. "Your loosing you touch Marcus."

Marcus returned the smirk. "Ahh! But you see I need Miss Lina Inverse to be the one to achieve it for me!"

Xelloss' grin faltered lightly. "Ah… well now that is a bit more of a challenge." He rubbed the back of his head nervously with one hand. "Can you give me the tickets on credit?"

Marcus sat up with a smile. "Of course buddy!" He winked at Yade. "If you'll let me take your lovely lady friend here to dinner."

Yade blushed. "Dinner would be wonderful." She stated smiling at him.

Xelloss beamed. "Excellent! So then I get the tickets! You get a date and a…" He rubbed his head uncertainly. "... Well… a very _unique_ talisman, and Miss Yade gets to spend a night away from that stupid dragon." He twitched at the mere thought of Jarrek and brightened as he thought the next morning.

"Well…" He stated grabbing the tickets with a bow. "I really should be getting back. It was nice to see you again Marcus." He winked at them before phasing out. "Have a good night."

* * *

_Zelgadiss sits up with a start. **Damn! I fell asleep**. He had only slept in the princess room in case that little creep woke up. He spots the annoyingly familiar form of the Grin Master staring at Amelia. **Way to go. Some body guard you are. **_

_"What are you staring at?" He asks in a cold voice, his heart rate speeding up._

_Lokkin grins, rotating his view over to the now awake and very alert chimera._

_"I was trying to decide whether or not to kill her." The Grin Master states casually, rotating his gaze back to the princess. "I decided not. I kinda like her."_

_Startled, Zelgadiss watches as Lokkin rotates his gaze back to him once more._

_"You like her too, huh Stony ?"_

_The chimera blushes slightly and turns his head. "I don't know what your talking about."_

_"And my name is not **Stony**!" He quickly adds, furiously noting what the Grin has dubbed him._

_"Sure." Lokkin acknowledges with a grin. "You just normally fake drowning at every body of water you come to." He shakes his head. "What a loser! I bet you couldn't even **really** kiss her if she was on her death bed." He smirks up at him. "And even if you could, I bet you're a horrible kisser. "_

* * *

_"It's beautiful!" Filia gasps as she sees a golden bowl of amethyst grapes that bare emerald vines._

_"Oh Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia gushes as she spots a golden bowl of sapphire blueberries sitting on a patch of tiny opal flowers that adorn their emerald leaves. "Aren't they wonderful!"_

_Zelgadiss looks at them and then back at her own sapphire eyes, and looks down with a blush. "Yes, they are."_

_Lina's own eyes grow to be the size of the giant ruby raspberry, which is being held by a large golden monkey. "That one's mine! Grab as much as you can guys!"_

_Amelia beams and picks up the bowl of berries as Filia also grabs up the grapes. Lina tries to jump up and grab the raspberry, but each time the monkey seems to get taller. She is about to cast a Levitation spell when she feel's a hand on her shoulder._

_"Let me get it." Gourry states, gazing down into her eyes, causing her to take in a sharp breath._

_"That wouldn't be wise." Xelloss speaks up. "Everything in here is cursed."_

* * *

_The chimera gazes darkly at the Grin Master. "I most certainly could so." He stares evenly at the grinning creature. "And I assure you she'd enjoy it."_

_Lokkin smirks. "Is that a fact? Well why don't we wake her up and have her judge that little detail for herself?"_

_Zelgadiss gazes over at the little sleeping princess uncertain._

_Lokkin's grin widens. "Unless of course, you're a coward…"_

* * *

_Lina breaks Gourry's gaze to turn to Xelloss, and notes that the entire room is now empty save for the three of them and the golden monkey and his raspberry._

_"Huh?" Lina inquires as she looks around the chamber in shock. "Where'd everybody go?"_

_Gourry looks around confused. "Huh? What are you talking about Lina? There was no one else with us."_

_Lina looks around again, uncertain. "Are you sure?"_

_"He's quite right Miss Lina." Xelloss agrees with a grin. "In fact the moment I tell you about the curse, you and Mr. Gourry will be completely and utterly alone!" He peers at her with one eye open, his smirk widening._

_Lina looks up at Gourry who looks down at her adoringly. She smiles and turns to Xelloss with a mischievous grin. "There are certainly worse things. Now what's the curse?"_

_"Ahh!" Xelloss states with a wag of his finger as he begins fading out. "Now that's a secret! However you could just let the swordsman get it for you and find out. You may even like it…"_

* * *

_"I'm not a coward." Zelgadiss growls at Lokkin. "I just don't see what I get out of it!"_

_Lokkin smirks up at him. "Oh what? Did you expect me to promise you your cure or something!" He shakes his head in disgust. "Man you really are a looser! Now do it, or I'll stick around just to mock you of your cowardice."_

_Zelgadiss glares at the little Grin Master, who is currently tapping his foot in annoyance. "Fine." He walks over and gently shakes the princess._

* * *

_Lina looks up at Gourry with a mischievous smile. "You wanna go for it?"_

_The swordsman winks at her and lifts up an arm and grabs the forbidden fruit causing the golden monkey to vanish. He grins, handing her the raspberry. "I feel...funny."_

_She smiles as she takes it, her eyes lighting up. "Me too."_

_Gourry looks down at her deeply. "I feel like I want to...you know."_

_Lina gazes up at him. "Do what you did when you saved me from the Sea of Chaos?"_

_He smiles down at her. "Yeah! Do you mind?"_

_Lina shakes her head shyly. "No. I want to too."_

_The swordsman grins and picks her up in his strong safe arms and…_

* * *

_"Mr. Zelgadiss?" The princess inquires softly, gazing up at him with her wide, innocent eyes. "What are you doing?"_

_Zelgadiss smiles down at her. "Waking up my little sleeping beauty of course."_

_Amelia blushes and looks up at him oddly. "But Mr. Zelgadiss, that's always done with a kiss."_

_He smiles and pulls her closer. "I know."_

_Time seems to stand still as her lips once again near his own… closer...closer… closer…_

* * *

Lina gasped, sitting up in bed. _What a dream! To think me in love with that jelly fish brains. _

She looked pensively past the princess and down at Gourry who was sleeping on the floor. As both Yade and Xelloss had left to get those mysterious tickets, Jarrek and Filia had ended up stuck with both the food bill and the room bill. To make up for the gross amount of money spent on food, they only purchased two rooms, one for the two of them and one for everyone else. As such Lina and Amelia were given the bed. Zelgadiss took the balcony as he was impervious to the cold, and Gourry the floor. She gazed at him softly with a small smile. _He always did have a gentleman's ideals, if not his brains._

_What did happen that day I cast the Giga Slave_? She wondered, drawing her blankets closer around her and gazing out the glass doorway to peer at the moon as it hung gracefully above the balcony. _All I can remember are glimpses of feelings. Rage… Possession… Safety…Love… ? Could it really be… _

The sorceress internal musings were cut short as she witnessed a very amusing scene occur on the balcony. Zelgadiss had curled his arms around himself in hug as he puckered his lips and leaned forward. Suddenly the chimera's eyes popped open and he glared and muttered. "Damn it! Even in my dreams it never happens!" Then he realized where he was, but it was too late as he lost his balance and pitched forward off the balcony, just barely catching on to it with one hand.

Lina laughed and headed out onto the balcony. Walking over to edge, she gazed amused down at the scowling, dangling chimera. "Bad dream?"

* * *

The next morning Lina, Gourry, and Amelia ate like usual. Filia and Jarrek also had some breakfast, although obviously not quite as much. Zelgadiss however, had drank forty-seven cups of coffee by the time a very happy Yade and quite amused Xelloss entered the inn.

"Hallo!" Xelloss chimed, pulling out a seat for Yade to sit in, smiling wider as he felt the two twin pangs of jealousy being emitted by the young dragon couple.

Yade smiled up at him. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He replied with a smirk This morning, after Marcus had returned a very pleased Yade, they had gone over the details of their little plan. Step one was to make everyone believe they were actually a couple. _Especially_ the two dragons.

"What-are-you-so-happy-about!" The chimera asked, very, very quickly, causing the trickster priest to stare at him concerned before he took in the large pile of empty coffee cups on the table in front of him. "Oh my, Zel! Rough night?"

Zelgadiss glared at him. "I-dun-wanna-talk-about-it." he replied even faster, before downing another cup of coffee.

Xelloss raised an eyebrow before sitting down between Yade and Filia and snagging her tea set and pouring himself a cup. Filia fumed but decide not to bash him as she did mind destroying her own tea sets.

"Oh dear! That's most unfortunate." Xelloss replied after taking a sip of tea. "Well not to worry you can get more rest on the cruise." With that he proceed to pass out the tickets then sat back down to finish his tea.

The responses were more than he could ever had hoped for.

Both Lina and Zelgadiss turned a brilliant shade of red. "NO WAY!" They declared in unison, both thinking back to last night's dreams.

Amelia read her ticket and flushed a brilliant shade of red and was rendered speechless.

Gourry looked at the tickets confused. "Huh? A romantic cruise?" He srugged. "What so romantic about sharing a room with Lina? We do that all the time to save money."

Lina glared at him, still red faced. "This time it's different jelly fish brains!"

"Yes-Lina's-right!" The also red faced chimera agreed in his new, speedy manner. "This-time-it's-very-very-different!"

Gourry shrugged again and went back to eating. "If you say so."

Filia and Jarrek looked at each other and shrugged, but then a new idea crossed Jarrek's mind, forcing himself not to grimace, he put a smile on and looked over at the tranquil mazoku calmly sipping tea. "Ahh! But Xelloss, who will Miss Yade's partner be?"

Xelloss gave a large beaming smile and put an arm around the Phoenix who smiled secretively back up at him "Why myself, of course!"

"HENTAI!" Filia screeched pulling out her mace and pointing it at his nose. "HOW DARE YOU suggest THAT YOU BE ALLOWED TO ROOM WITH A **PHOENIX**!"

The inn's people stared at the seen briefly, before running out the doors in fear.

"Oh my!." Xelloss replied calmly, still sipping his tea. "Such a violent and stubborn dragon! Always jumping to conclusions!"

Filia looked angrily at the mazoku. "Oh! And what, are my assumptions wrong namagomi?"

Xelloss twitched at the insult. "Yes actually, they are. It was Miss Yade's suggestion."

Yade nodded with a smile. "He speaks the truth Miss Filia." She winked at Xelloss. "And I must admit, I am quite looking forward to it."

Filia's jaw and mace both dropped in shock. "But that's blasphemy!"

Jarrek nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, it's simply vulgar!"

Xelloss twitched and Yade raised an eyebrow.

"I can assure you that sleeping in the same room as a mazoku is not blasphemy." She replied icily causing both ryuzoku to flinch and the mazoku to grin.

"However if you truly wish to discuss blasphemy, little dragon." She glared darkly at Jarrek causing him to gulp. "Than I shall be more than happy to oblige you."

"Erm… no! That's quite all right." He replied nervously, rubbing the back of his head as Lina, Amelia, and Zelgadiss all proceed to give him the look of death. Zelgadiss' was far the most frightening, as his dark eyes and smile kept twitching.

Xelloss however smirked widely turning on the dragon maiden with glee. "Oh my, Filia! Just what did you _think_ we were going to do!"

Filia turned a brilliant shade of scarlet before angrily replying. "How the nine hells am I supposed to know what goes through you sick mind namagomi!"

Xelloss simply smiled and sipped his tea in return, thoroughly enjoying his breakfast, while Yade softly shook her head.

Lina sat back crossing her arms and glared at the mazoku. "So Xelloss. Why is it that you felt it absolutely necessary for us to take a _romantic_ cruise?"

Xelloss smirked and held up a finger. "Why do you think! It will be so much more amusing this way!"


	18. Episode 018: All Aboard!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 018: All Aboard************?**

**********

* * *

********Uhh! Even the Name is Painful!**

* * *

As the feelings of love, happiness, and overall romance assaulted him from all sides of the peer, Xelloss, now rather green, seriously considered if this had been the wisest course of action.

Noticing his discomfort, Yade hid a smirk, and placed an arm around his waist and looked up at him in mock adoration. Tasting now only the very strong feelings of jealousy being emitted by the two dragons, the mazoku brightened considerably.

"This wasn't so bad now, was it, Miss Lina?" He asked the petit scarlet faced sorceress. To be quite honest he had absolutely no clue as to why she was this embarrassed, under normal circumstances she'd be thrilled to have get a bargain like this. She had almost married a man for his money after all. Alas, all she did was stare at her shoes and meekly nod in response to his question. He didn't like it.

"Ahh! Look Miss Lina!" The mazoku stated, grandly pointing to a large banner over the dinning hall, turning a bit green as he did so, as, like everything else on board the Love Boat, it was bright pink. "They have an all you can eat buffet! And it's Free!"

The sorceress perked up at the sound of her six favorite words. "Come on Gourry!"

"Alright! Free Food!" Stated the swordsman, chasing after her. "Right behind you Lina!"

"Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia inquired looking over at the positively buzzing chimera as he attempted to catch a rather nasty light blue dragon fly that had been taunting him; he had decided to name it Lokkin. "Do you want to get something to eat?"

"You-are-my-enemy-and-I-will-catch-you-and-mount-you-on-Rezo's-wall!" Zelgadiss stated speedily, ignoring her as he attempted to catch "Lokkin."

Xelloss raised an eyebrow. "Hmm. Perhaps you should go on without him Miss Amelia. His current… mission, may take a while."

Amelia looked worriedly at her true love then back at the dinning hall has her stomach rumbled. Yade smiled and put a comforting arm on the girl's shoulder. "I shall watch over him for you Miss Amelia."

Amelia smiled relieved. "Thank you Miss Yade." Stated happily, and then ran off to join the feeding chaos. Yade turned to the dragon fly, concentrated on it for a moment, and then quickly snatched it out of the air.

Zelgadiss turned his shifty gazed onto the Phoenix. "He-is-_my_-enemy-give-him-back-to-me-so-that-I-might-mount-him-Rezo's-wall!"

Yade looked at him perplexed. "Why Rezo's wall? I thought you hated him?"

The chimera smiled a shifty smile. "I-do-Rezo-is-afraid-of-bugs!"

Yade smirked. "I see. Very well, if you follow myself and Xelloss around until your caffeine high wears off and do as we say, I shall return the dragon fly to you so that you may defile Rezo's sanctuary."

Zelgadiss nodded fervently. "You-gotta-a-deal-Miss-Yade!"

Xelloss smirked as Yade handed him the bug and he placed it in his pack. _Oh my! Won't it be fun to remind him of this tomorrow! And the next day after as well!_ Out loud he said. "Oh my! Won't this be fun!" He turned to Yade. "Well come along Yade Dear, I do believe we're going to be late!"

"Late for what namagomi?" Growled a voice behind him. He turned to see Filia and Jarrek giving him the look of death and he smirked wider.

"Ahh. Now that's a secret!"

Yade whacked him lightly and smiled at the homicidal pair of ryuzoku. "Xelloss and I are going to enjoy the spa before dinner."

Filia looked up at the sky confused. "But it's still five hours till sunset!"

"So it is Filia!" The mazoku agreed good-naturedly. "And I presume that is precisely how much time the ship will need to replenish it's food stores!"

Filia and Jarrek gazed warily into the dinning hall and nodded their agreement. Jarrek gave Yade a hungry look causing her to gag, then gazed charmingly down at his fiancé, causing Xelloss to twitch.

"They're right Fifi." He stated, shaking his head sadly for the added effect. "Perhaps we too should indulge in a little R&R?"

Under normal circumstances Filia wouldn't want to be anywhere near that vile monster, but she was quite afraid of what he might do with Miss Yade without a chaperone there.

"I quite agree." She stated sharply, noticing Xelloss' eyebrows twitch in surprise with a smirk. _Foolish Mazoku! He probably assumed that since I hate him I would leave him alone to do what he would with Miss Yade. _

Xelloss' smirk widened. _Perfect, now to prepare for step three._

"The more the merrier." He stated with a shrug and placed an arm around the Phoenix's waist, savoring the emotions emitted from that simple gesture. "Let's get going Yade _dear_"

Yade smiled her mock-adoring smile up at his smug face, and grabbed the chimera. "Come along now Zelgadiss."

The buzzed chimera cast her an offended look. "I-am-not-Zelgadiss-I-am-the-great-Zel-Bunny-I-shall-hunt-down-the-blue-Grin-Master-Lokkin-and-mount-his-head-on-Rezo's-wall!"

"You don't say!" Xelloss asked with a wide grin. _Oh my! Lots and lots of fun!_

Yade, however, was once again perplexed. "How do you know Rezo is afraid of Lokkin? He died before he was… born."

Zelgadiss eyed her with his twitchy gaze and whispered eerily. "Wouldn't-you-be?"

Yade pursed her lips, currently far more afraid of the look he had just given her than of the little perverse Grin Master.

Xelloss however, smiled grandly. "Oh dear! This is true. Well let's go then Zel-_Bunny_! I shall help you hunt him down!"

Zel-Bunny's eyes went shiny. "You-will-really-do-so!"

Xelloss turned a bright red as he attempted to contain his laugher, and could only nod meekly and motion them forward with his hand.

* * *

Down below in the maintenance closet, the real Lokkin sneezed and peered up at Sherrast. "Damn it woman! You got me sick!"

Sherrast twitched at the degrading title and then smiled darkly down on him. "I most certainly did not. It takes more than swimming across the ocean to get one of your _powers_ sick." She smirked at him. "Lord Dynast is probably punishing you for your insubordination."

Lokkin glared at her. "_Lord Dynast_ wasn't the one who refused to teleport me to the ship!"

Sherrast smiled serenely him. "Perhaps next time you should be a little quicker on your feet while in battle." She glared at him. "She took you out with a hug! You could have killed her before she reached you or at the very least ran away!"

She smirked cruelly down on the Grin Master. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you _wanted_ to be hugged by her."

Lokkin rotated his grinning gaze up at her. "Maybe I did."

Before she could reply the Grin Master closed his eyes and created four Grins from his power. He opened his eyes to look at them.

"Hello kids!" He said with a grin. "You wanna do Uncle Lokkin a little favor!"

Hisfour _children_ grinned and nodded.

He smirked. "Okay first, I want you to surround me and cast…hmm." He tapped his foot as he tried to come up with a new name; he had never performed a healing spell before. "...Ahh! Unoriginal, but it'll do." He gazed at his eager pack, his grin widening. "I want you to cast GRINNING BREEZE OF HEALING!"

As always, his _children_ were simply an embodiment of his power and they therefore shared his consciousness, so they knew precisely what he wanted and complied. Lokkin felt the healing wash over him and raised a hand to stop them when he felt the cold leave his body.

"Excellent!" He stated grinning at them as they fidgeted shyly. "Now...who wants to play a game?" The Grins' grins took on an evil gleam matching his own and nodded.

"Good!" He replied coolly, grin in place. "Now the object of this game is to serenade Sherrast here until she begs for mercy." He shook his head in mock sorrow. "She assumes that I'm below her and continues to hurt my feelings, she even threatens my life on a daily basis." He rotated his grinning gaze up to her furious face. "And we can't have _that_ now, can we?"

The Grins tittered their little laugh in agreement as they surrounded her. Sherrast gazed furious at the Grin Master. Lord Dynast had given her specific orders not to leave the closet or the Beast Priest would sense her.

"**_I'm going to kill you!_**" She hissed, her grey shards narrowing.

Lokkin grinned and his pack laughed. "You can try." He rotated his gaze to his pack. "Life Is Wonderful; in High C!"

* * *

Lina sighed sitting back from her feast to look at the swordsman. _What did happen that day Gourry?_ She sighed as he found that damnable banana and once again tried to take a bite of it. _Whatever it was, I sure as hell don't see it now. _

"Knock it off jellyfish brains!" Lina yelled whacking him upside the head. "It's a precious stone! Not a banana got it!"

"Okay! Sorry Lina!" He whined rubbing his sore head.

"Don't worry about it." Lina replied shaking her head and gazing around the room for Amelia who had left to use the restroom.

"Miss Lina!" Called the little princess as she ran over. "Miss Lina!"

"What is Amelia?" Lina asked expecting Zelgadiss to have pitched over the side of the boat or something.

Amelia's eyes widened as she grabbed the sorceress' wrist and quickly drug her off. "You have to see this!"

"Hey Lina! Wait for me!" Gourry called chasing after them.

* * *

"You-won't-escape-me-this-time-Grin-Master-Lokkin!" Zelgadiss proclaimed as he snuck up on the unsuspecting light blue lufa.

Xelloss smirked, this was one the funniest things he'd witnessed in a while, and that was saying something. He stood in the middle of the men's dressing room wearing only a towel as the completely and unabashedly nude chimera hunted down everything blue in sight. Jarrek stood facing the wall as if transfixed ignoring both of them. Xelloss perked up, wondering what could possibly be more intriguing than the scene before him.

"Oh my!" Xelloss stated as he saw what Jarrek found so engrossing. "Do dragons always peak in on unsuspecting women while there getting dressed?"

Jarrek blanched and turned to face the grinning mazoku. "I… uh...I was just making sure no one tried to attack them!" He lied with a cheesy smile as he rubbed the back of his head nervously. "You know how bad some of these love struck creeps can be!"

"Hmm. Yes, I certainly do." He replied giving said love struck creep an even gaze before turning to the matter at hand. "Oh Zel-Bunny!"

"What-is-it-Xelloss!" The buzzed chimera asked speedily as he ripped the unfortunate lufa to shreds, and then gazed up at the very amused mazoku. "Did-ya-find-Grin-Master-Lokkin-so-that-I-may-mount-his-head-on-Rezo's-wall!"

"Why yes, I did actually!" He stated with a light smirk _It's not lying since I named Filia's Massage Room key "Lokkin" and simply created a little **back history** for it!_ "He has dyed himself pink in an foolish effort to hide himself from you!"

Zelgadiss tittered a laugh. "Foolish-Grin-Master-Lokkin-he-cannot-escape-the-great-Zel-Bunny-tell-me-where-he-is-so-that-I-may-mount-his-head-on-Rezo's-wall!"

Xelloss' smirk widened and he snuck a look at Jarrek who was currently... preoccupied once again with his former task. _Perfect!_

"Certainly Zel-Bunny! He's hiding in a drawer at the front desk in the slot marked twenty-nine!" He smirked down at the happy chimera, who was currently hopping from foot to foot in anticipation. "He may not reveal himself right away though so bring him back to me and I'll use my powers to force him to reveal his secrets!"

Zelgadiss gave a twitchy evil grin and headed out the door calling out. "I've-got-you-now-Grin-Master-Lokkin!"

Xelloss shook his head in silent laughter, he could only hope that the chimera ran into the princess while stalking the halls naked in search of the front desk, and that he was there to see it. He chuckled to himself as he headed out for his mud bath. _Oh my! This is turning out to be quite fun indeed._

* * *

"What is it Amelia?" An annoyed Lina asked for the fifth time.

"This!" The little princess stated grandly throwing open a set of wooden doors to reveal a gorgeously lit casino.

Lina's eyes went wide and she turned on Gourry. "Hey jellyfish brains! Give me that banana!"

"Huh?" Gourry asked confused. "Why Lina?"

"Just do it!" She growled showing her fangs.

"Okay Lina!" The swordsman replied hastily handing over the fruit shaped artifact.

"Excellent!" Lina stated. "Follow me!" She turned and headed over to a booth.

"Wait for us Lina!" Gourry called as he and Amelia set off after her.

* * *

Filia eased herself down further into the mud. _Ahh! Well isn't this relaxing? It's too bad Jarrek has a thing with getting dirty he's really missing out!_ She adjusted the cucumbers over her eyes with a light sigh. _Absolute peace._

Xelloss walked out onto the mud slicked stone surrounding the bath area with a smug smirk, everything was going according to plan. He opened his eyes when he saw the delightfully wicked twist of fate before him and smirked wider. Careful to cloak his aura he phased soundlessly into the bath, leaving his towel behind.

* * *

"Come-out-come-out-where-ever-you-are!" Taunted the madly grinning, naked, and buzzed chimera as he snuck down a hall of rooms. "You-can't-hide-forever-Grin-Master-Lokkin!"

* * *

Yade looked around the dressing room for another towel. Filia had insisted that she have two, one for her hair and one for her body. As her hair was almost three feet long Yade had agreed, understanding her need. She had, however, figured there would be another one lying around. She sighed; it was as if she could already feel that perverse dragons eyes on her. She shuddered and looked around hopelessly, no towel, no hot springs.

* * *

Jarrek smirked as he watched his _quarry_ searched desperately for another towel. _No such luck my pretty little flower!_ He, knowing Fifi's little habits, had personally seen to it that only two towels were going to be left in the female locker room. He waited patiently for her to give up and head out to the hot springs anyway.

* * *

"How many chips will you give me for this?" Lina asked thrusting the banana under the metal bars separating her from the cashier.

The cashier gazed at the banana in awe. "I'll give you seventeen thousand gold chips and free drinks for you and anyone in your party!" He smirked inwardly as he set the banana aside. It was worth far less than that, but with them drunk he could be certain to win _all_ of the money back.

"Agreed!" Lina agreed, greedily grabbing up the chips, the three of them didn't drink but maybe Xelloss would be interested. "Come on lets go split them up!"

The cashier watched them go, a smug smile crossing his lips. "Cruz, come here a moment would you?"

"Yes Mr. Garson?" The bartender asked approaching the booth.

Garson smiled. "Approach those three kid's once an hour and any one who associates with them. I want them to be...satisfied, by your services!"

Cruz gave a nod and a knowing smile. "I'll see to it sir."

* * *

Zelgadiss tiptoed down the hall in greatly exaggerated yet twitchy steps and threw open the door to the broom closet. "Here's-Zel-Bunny!" He gazed disappointedly at the broom, mop, and buckets and quickly shut the door, off on his way down the hall again. "Damn-you-Grin-Master-Lokkin-I-shall-find-you!"

* * *

Yade sighed; well there was only one thing to do then…

* * *

Xelloss smirked gleefully at the peaceful dragon maiden. _Hmm. How to play this? Ahh! That'll do! _

His mouth twisted into an evil grin and he pulled a fan out of nowhere to cover it and applied some extra magic to suit his purposes.

* * *

"What an idiot!" Lina stated gazing at the large pile of golden chips. "This has to be worth almost a king's ransom!" She snorted with a shrug. "Oh well, his loss our gain." She then proceeded to carefully distribute the pile. "Here Amelia _this_ is yours, and Gourry you take this, and this is mine!"

"Miss Lina?" Amelia asked starring at her pile of gold then at Lina's. "How come you gave me and Gourry only a thousand chips apiece and kept fifteen thousand for yourself?"

"Uh…" Lina bristled rubbing the back of her head nervously as she searched for a good excuse.

"Lina must loose a lot." Gourry stated, using his own logic and getting himself bashed for it.

Amelia sweatdropped and headed off to find the roulette tables as the beatings persisted.

* * *

Jarrek watched in gleeful anticipation as Yade gave up her search and sat down with a sigh, then pushed her self back up with a shrug.

"I guess I have no other choice." She stated. Positively skipping with glee, Jarrek ran off to the hot springs. If he would have stuck around a little longer he would have witnessed a bright flash of green light.

* * *

"Dum-de-dum-da-dum-da-dum-dum!" Zelgadiss chanted as he snuck down yet another hall way, that damnable front desk kept evading him, it was now considered his enemy, and therefore hunting it was worthy of a daring theme song.

Quite daring.

* * *

"Huh? Where'd Amelia go?" Lina asked once she had finished lecturing the swordsman.

"I don't know Lina." Gourry stated rubbing his head as the sorceress gazed around the room searching for the princess. A card table nearby caught his eye and Gourry headed over.

"Huh! I guess she ran off. Oh well, more fun for us right Gourry?" Lina asked turning back to the chair he had been occupied only to find it empty. "Uhh! Gourry! Not you too!"

Lina shrugged and got up. "Oh well, nothing else to do now but go win billions off of slot machines!" And she headed over to do so.

* * *

"Oh my! Well hallo dear!" Xellos stated in a feminine voice, covering his face with his fan. "Well aren't you a pretty one?"

Filia gasped and sat up causing the cucumbers to fall off into the mud and Xelloss to get an excellent view of her mud covered form.

"Oh dear!" Xelloss sated in the same tone as he picked up the muddy slices of produce. "I'm sorry about that my dear, I didn't mean to frighten you, I simply wanted someone to talk to."

"Oh no it's alright!" Filia said recovering quickly and looking down at the mud with a slight blush. "I thought you were some one else…"

Xelloss smirked, but replied in a lofty voice. "Oh that young blond man of yours, right?"

Filia looked at him in shock and he giggled in a feminine tone. "I saw you two board the ship together, he's sure a looker!"

Filia smiled, but looked down at the mud again. "Thank you, but Jarrek wasn't who I was speaking of."

Xelloss perked up at that, but set it aside briefly, less he seem like some nosy _woman_. "Oh Jarrek is it? And who might you be, my dear?"

Filia smiled politely and offered her a hand. "Filia, Filia Ul Copt, and you?"

"Xella…" Xelloss replied shaking the hand. "Xella...Ose."

Filia raised an eyebrow. "Xella Ose? Why that's almost the same name as…"

She narrowed her eyes taking in the hair color of the _woman_ speaking to her. "Would you stand up please?" She asked coldly.

"Why?" Xelloss asked, raising an eyebrow innocently as he smirked inwardly. "Is something the matter my dear?"

"Nothing." Filia replied coolly. "I simply want to see your breasts."

Xelloss raised another eyebrow as he struggled to keep form laughing. "If I do so will you explain to me what this is all about?"

Filia smiled coldly. "Certainly."

Xelloss shrugged and stood up loving the cocktail of emotions that she distributed as she gasped seeing that he did in fact have a rather full figure, mud covered and magically enduced though it may have been. He gazed amused down at her scarlet, shame filled face with another raised eyebrow. "Will that do?"

Filia nodded meekly and Xelloss sat back down.

"Sorry about that." Filia mumbled quietly staring hard at the mud.

"Oh it's quite all right my dear." Xelloss replied with a gentle smile. "But tell me who is this guy to get you so worked up you had to make certain I wasn't him?" He cocked his head to the side. "It wasn't the same person you expected me to be when I first came in was it?"

Filia sighed, sinking back into the mud. "It was. His name's Xelloss."

"Xelloss?' Xelloss repeated aloud with a light chuckle. "Well I do see where your concern stemmed from; it does sound a lot like my name." He smiled at a shame faced Filia. "Do you like this man my dear?"

Filia turned an even deeper shade of scarlet. "No!"

"Oh?" Xelloss asked, feigning surprise. "Then does he like you?"

Filia shook her head darkly. "I seriously doubt it."

_Was that… BITTERNESS? Oh my Filia! What secrets have **you** been hiding! _

Xelloss scooted over a little more and gave her a confused look. "Then why were you expecting him, my dear?"

Filia's look darkened further, this time in anger. "Because he likes to tease me."

"Tease you?" Xelloss inquired raising both eyebrows for extra effect. "Why ever would he want to do that!"

"I don't know!" Filia shouted, standing up as her tail popped out, leaving Xelloss quite pleased with the view. "He just does! I take him into my home to save him from dying and the first thing he does when he wakes up is kiss me against my will! He made so angry I forgot completely where I was and demolished my Fiancé's house trying to clobber him!" She sat down with a sigh. "Oh hell he made me so angry I forgot I even had a fiancé."

Xelloss raised yet another eyebrow. _Oh my! Why Filia! I didn't know you cared! Hmm. This will be fun!_

Xelloss scooted a little closer and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There, there dear. I understand."

"You do?" Filia asked, darkly. "Because I sure as hell don't!"

Xelloss smiled consolingly. _Hmm. I hope I'm not pressing my luck on this one._

"I do dear; it may be possible he makes you so angry because you like him!" He replied in a knowing way, fully prepared for a beating.

"You must be joking!" Filia exclaimed, jumping up once more tail pointed in furry. "Me! In love with that namagomi!"

Xelloss twitched unconsciously and replied a little harsher than need be. "It's really not that far fetched, my dear! I mean you assumed that he had nothing better to do than sneak up on you while you were taking a mud bath!"

He crossed his arms and turned his back on her in a huff. "Forgive me for assuming someone who could occupy your thoughts so was actually of some interest to you." _Stupid dragon!_ He chose to ignore that fact that that her assumptions had been correct.

Filia hung her head. _It's not her fault she doesn't understand the situation._ She admitted inwardly.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, but your assumptions are quite wrong." She got out of the mud bath and headed towards the bath area to clean the mud off. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a massage coming up soon."

Xelloss nodded curtly, not taking his gaze from the wall as she bathed and left. It was then that _he_ realized he was supposed to be the one giving the massage and leap up and phased off to find Zel-_Bunny_, leaving the mud behind.

* * *

Amelia walked down the hallway frantic, she needed a lucky number! Her old one, fourteen, the year she had met Mr. Zelgadiss, had always been lucky before; but today it wasn't working.

She sighed as she headed down the hall looking at room numbers unable to decide what could be lucky about them.

* * *

Jarrek glared out at the site before him, most displeased. In the place of his luscious fantasies of Yade's body, sat a large emerald bird. The Phoenix stared at him, a mocking smile on her face, well mocking for a bird anyway. She refused to speak a word.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Jarrek grumbled annoyed. "Would one word be so difficult?"

Yade shook her head, smirking inwardly. "No, in fact I'll give you two; Good bye!"

Jarrek watched as the Phoenix arose from the water gracefully. "Where are you going?"

Yade grimaced, certain she was going to regret this but do to her manners unable not to reply. "I have a massage to attend."

Jarrek watched her head off a lecherous smile spreading across his features. "Reaallly!"

He got up and walked over to the front desk just in time to see the chimera's naked stone form sneak away humming something. Shaking his head he approached the desk and smiled charmingly down on the flabbergasted woman who was staring after Zelgadiss.

"Well he certainly must keep his wife happy!" He quipped, leaning an elbow on the desk as he smiled down into the attendant's eyes. "And you are…?"

The young brunette blushed. "Marissa." She replied shyly.

"Marissa…" He repeated, letting the words role off his tongue seductively. "That maybe the most beautiful name I've ever heard." He gazed at her deeply causing her blush to deepen further. _And then again, maybe not. Heh, this is too easy!_

"Marissa can I ask you a favor?" He made sure to keep her shy brown eyes locked into his own.

"What?" She replied softly. _Oh gods he's wonderful!_

He smirked inwardly. _Piece of cake!_ He smiled softly and gave a small chuckle. "Well you see Marissa; my sister is a tad shy when it comes to having strangers massaging her naked form." He winked at the blushing girl. "I'm sure you understand."

She nodded shyly, thinking she'd let this particular stranger massage her anywhere he wanted. She blushed deeper unable to believe he was having this effect on her.

Jarrek could guess what she was thinking and would probably take her up on the offer if he could make sure Fifi was preoccupied tonight, but for now he simply smiled. "Well I was wondering, would you be willing to allow me to give her the massage? I'm sure she'd feel much more comfortable in her brother's hands than anyone else's."

"Of course!" Marissa replied snapping out of her daze and quickly turning to her collection of room keys. "Which room is it?"

Jarrek mentally cursed and gave her an apologetic smile. "You know she didn't tell me, could you look it up for me?" He flashed her another smile and she nodded pulling out the log.

"I suppose I could do that." She looked up at him as she flipped to today's appointments.

"What's her name?"

He smiled wider. "Yade, Yade Trekkai."

* * *

"Uhh!" Lina groaned miserably, just barely keeping herself from Fireball-ing the slot machine as it ate yet another thousand chips leaving her with only seven thousand.

"I can't believe I keep loosing." She pouted turning away from the game and gathering up her remaining chips. "This game sucks!"

She gazed around the room and spotted a small crowd surrounding the Blackjack table. _Hmm. I wonder what that's all about._

She started to head over but was cut off by a tall, skinny dark haired bartender.

"Excuse me Miss." He stated smoothly pulling out a small notebook and a _horrid_ peacock feathered. "But I have been informed that all of your drinks are on the house. What can I get for you?"

Lina looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "Are you crazy! Only an idiot would gamble drunk!" With that she headed off to the Blackjack table.

Cruz sweatdropped as he watched her go. The boss isn't going to be pleased by this. He looked around but was unable to find the dark haired girl. _Well I suppose I'll have to follow around that red-headed kid for a while and hope she leads me to the rest of them._

* * *

"What's going on?" Lina inquired of a tall guy standing in front of her.

"Some new kid just won half a million chips." Stated the man looking down at her. "He hasn't gotten anything less than twenty-one since the game started! I've never seen anything like it."

_Hmm. He sounds good._ Lina thought to herself as she used her short height to sneak through the crowd only to see…

The sorceress facefaulted.

"Gourry!" Lina exclaimed in shock as she picked herself back up.

"Oh hey Lina!" Gourry called motioning the stunned sorceress over. "You wanna come play?"

Lina sat down nodding meekly, a thousand questions going through her mind but before she could ask a single one that bartender from before cut in between her and Gourry and once again brandished his little notebook as well as that evil quill. "Can I get you anything to drink sir? It's on the house!"

Gourry shrugged. "Sure. Can I get some orange juice?"

Cruz facefaulted. _What's with these kids!_

"Absolutely sir!" He replied picking himself back up. "Would you like anything mixed in with that?"

Gourry thought for a moment and then looked up at Cruz eagerly. "Do you have ice cream?"

Cruz twitched. _The boss is not going to like this._ "Of course sir."

Gourry smiled as he drooled. "Alright! I'll have an orange juice mixed with vanilla ice cream!" He turned to the smirking sorceress. "You want one Lina?"

Lina nodded greedily. "Five of them would do me!"

Gourry's eyes lit up. "Yeah! I'll have the same!"

Cruz stared at them in pure horror. "You want ten of them, and none with any alcohol whatsoever!"

"Yep." Gourry nodded looking at him confused. "Is that okay?"

Lina snickered as Cruz struggled to gain composure. "Absolutely. I'll get right on that sir."

Lina smirked widely and flipped him a gold chip. "For your trouble."

Cruz gazed hopelessly at the chip and decided to pocket it before stalking off to get the order. He had a feeling that soon he was going to need all the financial aid he could get.

Gourry smiled at Lina and she couldn't help but smile back. "So you gonna play, Lina?"

Lina smirked and placed five hundred chips on the table. "Deal me in."

The dealer nodded. "Place your bets."

Gourry grinned doofily. "I'm going all in."

Lina looked warily up at him then shrugged. "Five hundred."

The cloaked man next to her shoved a pile onto the table. "Two thousand." He was the only one who had dared to stay at the table; Lina figured he must have money to spare.

The Dealer nodded and dealt out the cards.

Lina gazed at her hand, two queens. "I'll stay." she replied.

The cloaked man also stayed.

Gourry looked at his hand again. _Oh not another Ace and a Jack! How am I supposed to win a game of Go Fish if I don't have any pairs._ He looked at the dealer and sighed. "Hit me."

Lina's eyes widened. "But Gourry you have…"

Gourry however, had just gotten the card he was after. "Ha! Two jacks! I win."

"Blackjack…" Lina finished in shock.

The audience burst into applause.

"Wow." Someone in the audience stated. "He's so bold!"

"I know!" Someone else agreed. "He had Blackjack already but went for the hit anyway! Amazing!"

Lina smiled up at Gourry who was collecting his million chips. "You don't know what game your playing, do ya?"

Gourry looked down at her confused. "Of course I do. I'm playing Go Fish."

The Dealer, the guy in the cloak, and the audience all facefaulted.

Lina just shook her head. "Come on Gourry. Let's go find that bartender and Amelia, I'm hungry!"

"Me too!" Gourry stated getting to his feet and collecting his winnings before chasing after her.

"Hey Lina! Wait up!"

* * *

Amelia glared at the room number on the door in front of her as if expecting it to yield some secret only she would understand, and in a way, she was.

"Well number twenty-nine…!" She asked, hands on her hips tapping her foot. "Are you lucky or not!"

"I certainly think so." Commented a voice next her as Xelloss phased into view causing her to jump. "But I would suppose it's a matter of opinion."

"Why do you think its lucky, Mr. Xelloss?" Amelia asked curious.

Xelloss smirked and waged a finger. "Ahh! Now that's a secret!"

Amelia was about to attempt to prod further when their came a: "Dum-de-dum-da-dum-da-dum-dum!" And the still nude chimera came zipping down the hallway brandishing the room key. "I-got-him-Xelloss-now-force-him-to-reveal-his-secret-so-that-I-may-mount-his-head-on-Rezo's-wall!"

Xelloss bit back his laughter as the princess promptly passed out and clapped his hands with glee. "Bravo Zel-Bunny. Now let me see it!"

Zelgadiss didn't answer but rather gazed concerned down at the unconscious princess. "Is-she-gonna-be-okay!"

Xelloss smirked. "Probably not! However, there's nothing you can do about it now but hand me _Lokkin_ and then go put some clothes on!"

Zelgadiss nodded and placed the room key in the mazoku's waiting hand.

"Thank you!" Xelloss stated as he summoned a blue ball of yarn from nowhere, dubbed it "Lokkin" and rolled it down the hall. "Oh dear! I do believe he's trying to escape!"

The great Zel-Bunny would have nothing to do with that! Humming his cunning theme song, the chimera furiously chased down his nemesis. Xelloss chuckled and shook his head with a smirk, before disappearing and reappearing wearing his red china doll dress. He smirked as he used the key to enter the room, carefully masking his power. _Hmm. Now how too play this… _


	19. Episode 019: Random Adventures!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

Episode 019: Random Adventures**********?**

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********Uhh! Some People Never Learn!**

* * *

Jarrek eyed the cute masseuse in the tight red china dress as she entered Fifi's room. _Hmm. I gonna have to track her down before this trip's over! Yaowza! _

He snuck past the unconscious princess and into Room Thirty-Two.

"Why am I not surprised." Yade stated dryly as she gazed at him coolly as he "snuck" in. She was of course, still in her Phoenix form. "You just do not know when to accept defeat, do you?"

Jarrek gulped as he backed out the door. "Ooops. This isn't Fifi's room! Heh heh heh...Bye!"

The Phoenix shook her head as he shut the door and ran off. Sighing she transformed and put on her clothes. _Well so much for a nice bit of relaxation…_

She headed out the door with a sigh and spotted Amelia lying in the hallway, she was still unconscious. Yade smiled softly as she knelt next to the young girl. "Miss Amelia? Are you all right?"

The princess blinked sitting up. "Miss Yade? Where am I?"

Yade smiled. "Lying in the hallway next to Room Twenty-nine."

"Twenty-Nine?" Amelia repeated dazed getting up and following the Phoenix to the dinning hall. _Hmm. That sounds familiar for some reason. Could it be my lucky number?_

* * *

"Dum-de-dum-da-dum-da-dum-dum!" Went the chimera as he furiously stabbed the unfortunate ball of yarn with his sword. Suddenly his face took on an uncomfortable expression and he ran off on a new quest; to find the restroom.

* * *

"Oh hallo again dear!" Xelloss stated in a surprised feminine tone as he gazed down at the towel covered dragon maiden and poured some oil onto his hands. "It appears the massage you were running off to get was the one I was scheduled to give!" He giggled lightly.

Filia bristled as she recognized the voice and was about to get up when she was pushed back down as "Xella" began the massage.

"I'm quite sorry about earlier." Xelloss continued, smirking at her discomfort. "It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions." He chuckled lightly. "But I must admit I'm quite curious about this Xelloss character, he sounds absolutely horrible!"

"Oh he is!" Filia groaned, previous discomfort forgotten as she thought of the bane of her existence.

"Hmm." Xelloss stated, twitching. _Stupid dragon! It appears trying to speak civilly to such a stubborn dragon is a complete waste of time. How very unfortunate._

"Well…" He continued with false cheer. "Perhaps a nice massage is just what you need to relieve all this pent up stress."

"Maybe!" Filia agreed, brightening considerably and deciding to relax and enjoy herself.

* * *

Zelgadiss finally reached the bathroom, theme song long forgotten as he bounded thought the doors. The Great Zel-Bunny had to go!

* * *

"Uhh!" Lina growled setting the last of her five glasses aside as Gourry happily slurped down the last of his. "Where _is_ Amelia?" They were now sitting at a table in the dining room, Cruz was hovering like a mosquito nearby.

"Here Miss Lina." Yade answered leading Amelia over.

"Would the ladies care for a drink!" Cruz chirped up, literally leaping across the room and landing in front of them. "Lovely ladies like yourselves drink free!"

Yade gave him an even stare, causing him to sweatdrop.

"Maybe later!" He stated hastily running off.

Yade watched him go with an raised eyebrow and led a now very confused Amelia over to the table where they both took a seat. "What a strange young man."

Lina smirked. "We traded that banana Gourry snagged from the temple for seventeen thousand chips and unlimited free drinks. I think the plan was to get us drunk so they could win em back."

"Chips?" Yade asked perplexed.

"They have a casino!" Amelia stated happily. "And now that I have my lucky number I can play roulette again!"

Lina sighed in exasperation. "Amelia! There's no such thing as a lucky number!"

"There is too!" Amelia stated defensively. "Each time we had game night in Saillune I never lost!"

Lina rolled her eyes. "Whatever. So where's Zelgadiss and the others?"

"Yeah, where's Mr. Zelgadiss?" The princess asked worriedly.

Yade pursed her lips. "Well Mr. Zelgadiss went with Xelloss. I am uncertain of Miss Filia's whereabouts and last I saw Jarrek he was attempting to try pulling off being my masseuse." She gripped her daggers unconsciously.

Lina shook her head in disgust as Amelia's face darkened. "He just doesn't know when to give up does he?"

Yade shook her head bitterly. "It would appear not."

Lina sighed. "Oh well." She turned to Gourry. "Hey jellyfish brains! Give Yade some of your chips!"

"Huh?" Gourry asked confused. "Why does she need my chips?"

"Just do it!" Lina yelled baring fangs and brandishing a fist.

"Oookay Lina!" Gourry agreed quickly handing Yade a stack of chips.

Yade looked at the bag perplexed. "Miss Lina, Phoenix's do not gamble."

"Huh?" Lina asked confused. "Why not?"

"Miss Yade?" Amelia turned to the Phoenix who pursed her lips attempting to find an answer that didn't reveal too much information.

"Well…" She began biting her lower lip. "To put it simply, we always beat the house."

Lina's eyes lit up. "Really!"

Yade nodded uncomfortable. "If we always win, it is not really fair to play."

Lina smirked. "Okay! How bout I play, and you advise?"

Yade thought on this and then smiled. "Very well. However, I reserve the right to lead you astray at times of my choosing."

"You'll what!" Lina growled glowing red.

Yade hung her head in shame. "I am most grievously sorry to offend you, alas, I have no choice, it would simply be unjust otherwise."

"She's right!" Amelia stated, getting up and throwing a finger into the air. "Now let's go play roulette!"

"Amelia!" Lina sighed in exasperation, as she rose from her seat. "There's no such thing as a lucky number!"

* * *

Zelgadiss exited the restroom fifteen minutes later. The first thing he realized was he was holding onto a blue ball of yarn, the next was that he was naked, and the last that the princess had seen him that way. Caffeine high gone, the scarlet chimera ran back into the restroom, grabbed a towel, and ran back to the changing room to grab his clothes. _This is not good! _

* * *

Filia felt completely relaxed as "Xella" worked. "Mmmm." She stated. "You're really good at this."

Xelloss smirked smugly as he continued. "Why thank you, my dear! I've had a lot a practice."

Filia smiled into the pillow. "Hmpt. I should think so. How long have you been working here?"

Xelloss sweatdropped. "Well actually, my dear, this is my first cruise."

"Oh!" Filia replied surprised. "I never would have guessed."

Xelloss' smirk widened. "Why thank you, my dear!"

"Don't mention it." Filia muttered into the pillow.

"Well if you like my work." Xelloss stated casually. "Perhaps you should come by again tomorrow."

"Maybe I will." Filia agreed.

Xelloss smirked. _Excellent._

* * *

Zelgadiss, now fully dressed, shuddered involuntarily as he remembered the day's events.

_How am I ever gonna live this one down?_

He shook his head as he thought of how Xelloss was going to torment him with this new bit of ammunition.

_I'd rather suffer disembowlment again_. He sighed knowing fully well that the situation was hopeless, however he was certain of one thing. _I'm never drinking that much coffee again… _

With that vow made, he set off to find the others.

* * *

Far down in the belly of the ship, a maintenance man was sent on the common quest of getting a wrench. As all of the ship's maintenance tools were, naturally, kept in the _Maintenance_ closet, that was of course where he headed.

As he approached it, he noticed an odd high pitched bit of music emitting from it.

Cautiously, he threw open the doors to reveal one of the scariest sights he'd ever seen. The sight of five, large, bunny-like, monstrosities serenading a hideous blue haired old crone-like mazoku General-Priest; who was covering her ears as she screamed in a mix of horror and rage, was also, unfortunately, the last sight he'd ever see as Sherrast was suffering a _desperate_ need to kill to something.

Lokkin smirked and nodded to his Grins, leading them out of the closet unnoticed by Sherrast as she took her time releasing her… pent up aggression. Lokkin paused briefly sniffing the air for the princess' sent and then pointed his long ears in her direction and led his pack off. He had some questions he needed answered.

* * *

Jarrek was in a foul mood. Not only had he not once witnessed Yade nude but he was also completely unable to find out any information about that lustrous violet-haired masseuse!

He sighed and headed toward the front desk. _Oh well, I guess Marissa will just have to do for this evening… _

* * *

"And the winner is… Twenty-Nine! Yet again! Well it would certainly seem that that's the lucky number of the evening folks!" The leader of the roulette table shook his head slightly at the gross understatement. Cruz moaned softly and banged his forehead with the serving tray as Lina stared in openmouthed disbelief as Amelia collected her sixteenth set of winnings that evening, putting her at a total of one million and fourteen thousand chips. Yade, knowing this was going to happen had forfeited her chips and set off to her room to prepare for this evenings activities.

"You see Miss Lina!" Amelia beamed at her flabbergasted companion. "I was right, twenty-nine is a lucky number!"

Lina shook her head and moaned. "Uhh! It's just not fair!"

"Don't worry Lina!" Gourry stated good naturedly. "We'll buy you dinner!"

"Arrrgg! Gourry, you jellyfish brains!" Lina yelled kicking him in the head. Causing Cruz, Amelia and the other roulette players to duck as he flew into the wall behind them.

"It's a FREE All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet! You can't buy me dinner!"

"Oh yeah!" He replied in realization. "Sorry, Lina."

Lina rubbed her temples. "Don't worry about it." She brightened briefly and grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him out the doors. "Come on, I'm hungry!"

"Miss Lina! Mr. Gourry!" The princess called, gathering up her winnings and heading after them. "Wait for me!"

Cruz shook his head in utter sorrow and followed them to the dinning hall.

* * *

Filia arrived in the dinning hall to see Lina, Gourry, and Amelia, chowing down as Zelgadiss sipped his coffee nervously and tried to avoid eye contact with the little princess as well as Xelloss, who was grinning a rather large, _knowing_, grin at him. Filia shuddered despite herself and Xelloss must have noticed for he turned his knowing gaze on her and the already unnaturally large grin doubled.

"Why hello, Filia!" He cracked open an eye at her. "Did you enjoy the spa!"

"Yes!" She growled, pulling out her tea set and sitting down with a huff. "Not that it's any business of yours, namagomi!"

"You went to the spa?" Lina mumbled through a mouthful of food before taking another bite off her drumstick as Gourry tried to steal her baked potato. "How was it?... Hey! That's mine Gourry! Give it back!"

Filia winced as Lina and Gourry wrestled over the now mashed potato. "It was wonderful, I had an excellent masseuse." She replied pouring herself a cup of tea.

"Oh!" Xelloss inquired, snagging the cup of tea she had just poured herself and taking a sip, causing her tail to poke out as she fumed and him to smirk

"Yes!" She hissed leaping at him in an attempt to snag the cup back and instead landing on her head as he ducked.

"Oh my!" Xelloss stated, sitting back up strait and taking a sip of tea. "Such a violent and clumsy dragon! I'm surprised you could even sit still long enough for a massage!"

Filia got back up fuming, and Lina and the others, save a grinning Xelloss who was serenely sipping his tea, ducked a little lower in their seats. However, before the carnage could ensue, Cruz, who had just shown up and was delighted to find that there were more than the three kids in their party, hopped between them, peacock quill drawn and little notebook ready.

"Would the lovely couple care for something to drink!" He asked with his most charming smile. "It's on the house!"

Everyone facefaulted, Filia and Xelloss recovered first, each one jumping up and pointing a finger at the other. "WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!"

"My mistake!" Cruz replied weakly, forming a large sweatdrop watching them twitch and turn their backs on each other as the others climbed back into their seats. Clearing his throat, he tried on another smile. "But um, _would_ you still care for something to drink?"

Filia glared over her shoulder with a superior smile. "No! But I'm sure that filthy monster over there would love to indulge in such horrid habits!"

Xelloss twitched despite himself and peered over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow and matching her appearance with a superior smirk of his own. "Oh my, Filia! Why if I didn't know better I'd say you were _afraid_ to order something! Oh that's right! Dragon's can't hold their alcohol! No match for the monster race! My how dull!"

He laughed his high pitched titter and Filia fumed and turned on him, tail pointed north and mace and fangs brandished. "I can take anything you can, namagomi!"

His smirk widened and he arched an eyebrow. "Oh really! Well how about a little contest, hmm! Just to prove it!"

Filia's eyes hardened. "Bring it on." She growled.

"Um, Miss Filia!" Amelia spoke up timidly. "Are you sure this is a good i…"

"Stay out of this!" Mazoku and Ryuzoku stated in unison, glaring murderous smiles at each other, the little princess wilted and did as ordered. Lina and Gourry continued eating oblivious while Zelgadiss watched the seen unfold, he was quite relieved Xelloss' attention was no longer focused on him.

Xelloss broke the gaze first and turned to the bartender with a smirk. "We'll have an unlimited order of Shabrinigdo Incarnates!" He cocked an eyebrow at the dragon maiden and smirked. "Although the dragon here may want to start with a Cepheid Spitzer!"

"I'll have exactly what he said we have!" Filia told Cruz, holding the mazoku's gaze. "And a glass of iced tea!"

Everyone facefaulted.

"Iced tea!" Xelloss exclaimed, picking himself up off the ground first, followed by closely by Cruz and his quill, and waved his hands around, making a lot of exasperated noises.

Filia crossed her arms and turned her back on the mazoku. "Well I have to get something to wash my mouth out." She stated haughtily. "Anything named after some filthy monster can't taste very good now can it!"

* * *

Lokkin looked around the big bright pink room, and then back at his pack. "Well kids, I think we can safely say that Uncle Lokkin found something scarier than us."

The Grins tittered there agreement looking around the room as well, allowing Lokkin to take in the room from all angles. Lokkin, infernal grin in place, hopped up onto the large red heart shaped bed and shook his head in sorrow. "Poor Stony! I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he won't be pleased by this."

Lokkin's grin twitched to the side wickedly and he rotated his gaze over to his pack. "Let's make it worse!"

His pack matched his twisted grin and nodded.

* * *

"And that's… hiccup… why dragon's are afraid of… hiccup… shaved ice!" An apparently very drunk Filia told a deeply engrossed and completely sober Xelloss.

"You don't say!" The mazoku grinned taking a sip of his drink, causing Filia to sub-consciously do the same. "Oh my! Why that _is_ interesting! So what else are you afraid of Filia?"

The rest of the gang had left several hours ago to continue gambling and Xelloss and Filia had stuck around continuing their drinking contest, In Xelloss' opinion, Filia had lost about forty-one drinks ago, but he was finding the conversation _quite_ enjoyable.

Filia took another swig of her drink only to find it empty.

"That someone… hiccup... will find out my...hiccup... secret." She replied staring perplexed at the now empty glass in confusion

"Oh!" Xelloss inquired filling the glass, when Cruz realized they had absolutely no intention of gambling he had left them a pitcher and headed off to try and win seventeen thousand gold chips. They had emptied the pitcher two hours ago but Xelloss had fortunately managed to acquire refills. "And what's that?"

The dragon maiden took another swig and continued. "That… hiccup… that…" Filia blushed and looked down at her glass shook her head. "… hiccup… no bad, Filia! Can't … hiccup… tell you… hiccup… that!"

"Oh!" Xelloss inquired once more, drawing his eyebrows together in genuine curiosity. "And why's that!"

Filia set her glass down and glared her unfocused eyes at him. "Hiccup… Because!"

Xelloss sat back and crossed his arms. "Because why!"

Filia looked to the side and mumbled something even _he_ couldn't hear.

The mazoku cocked his head with a teasing smirk. "Filia! I can't hear you!" He faked a pout. "That's mean!"

Filia looked at him struggling to keep him focused. She knew he thought she _was_ drunk, she was pretty close, and she had intended to use that to her advantage. Now was her chance. "I said… hiccup… tell me one of… hiccup… your secrets and… hiccup... I'll tell you one… hiccup...of mine!"

"I see." Xelloss stated rubbing his chin in apparent thought, he knew that since the dragon was drunk whatever he said this evening she wouldn't remember in the morning anyway. "Very well, what do you want to know?"

Filia smirked. _Perfect! _She threw her chest out pretending to drunkenly try to look seductive and struggled very hard to keep from laughing. "Why… hiccup… do you want… hiccup… to ruin… hiccup… my wedding?"

Xelloss shrugged and took another swig, hoping Filia would follow in suit, she didn't. "I'm not entirely sure really. Why do you ask?"

Filia shook her head over dramatically and waged a scolding finger. "Oh...hiccup...no! You gotta… hiccup... answer my question… hiccup... first!"

"But Filia!" Xelloss mock pouted. "I don't know why, so I can't answer! That's not fair!"

The dragon maiden nodded in a drunken fashion. "O… hiccup...kay, I'll ask… hiccup… you another… hiccup… one." She looked at the now even blurrier Xelloss and forced her eyes focused. "What's… hiccup… your biggest… hiccup… secret?"

The mazoku opened his eyes to stare at her, it may have been his imagination but her eyes seemed to be more focused rather than less. Unfortunately, mazoku could only taste mood, not whether or not a dragon is really intoxicated. "If I do, you have to tell me yours."

Filia nodded her wobbly head and took a large swig to lull him into confidence. "Deal."

Xelloss, confident that she certainly wouldn't remember this in the morning, sat back and closed his eyes. "I'm afraid of sheep."

"What!" Filia asked sitting up strait, she had not been expecting that response. _The mighty Xelloss is afraid of **sheep**!_

The mazoku shrugged and tapped his fingers on his staff unfazed. "I had botched a job as a young mazoku, as a result Lord Beastmaster made me tend her private flock of sheep for six months… lets just say, the sheep… weren't really sheep."

Filia shook her head with a snort, and downed another glass. "Well then… hiccup... I suppose it's a good thing… hiccup… that I don't… hiccup... have any sheep!"

Xelloss smirked despite himself and refilled her glass. Sitting back once more, he closed his eyes with a smug grin. "So it would seem. And what about you Filia, what's your biggest secret?"

The dragon maiden beamed at him brightly, leaned in and whispered. "My biggest secret... is that right now... I am completely sober!"

"WHAT!"

She sat back with a laugh as the mazoku's eyes popped open and he sat up strait dropping his staff. She smirked and tipped her glass towards him. "It would seem dragon's can hold their liquor after all, eh Xelloss!"

Xelloss glared at her fists clenched. "You tricked me!"

Filia smirked at him smugly. "You tricked yourself, namagomi! I told you I could take anything you could, you didn't believe me!" She stuck her tongue out at him and he smirked despite himself.

"Yare yare Filia." He replied sitting back down and picking back up his staff, his bangs now shading his face. "It seems I underestimated you. How very unfortunate. "

Filia beamed at him smugly. "So you have namagomi!"

Xelloss lifted his head, revealing his open eyes and Filia gasped despite herself causing him to smirk. "Oh dear! I can't have that now, can I?"

The dragoness swallowed and forced herself to look at him. "Wh-what are you going to do?"

The trickster priest's smirk widened. "Why nothing Filia, as long as you answer my next three questions honestly, if you don't… well… you'll see."


	20. Episode 020: What is Evil Anyway!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

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Episode 020: What is Evil Anyway**********?**

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********Skills A Dragon Can Use!**

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"Well, I stand corrected." The great sorceress Lina Inverse stated placing a hand to her temple with a dazed smile as Amelia collected her twenty-ninth set of winnings that even. "Apparently there is such a thing as a lucky number!"

"See! I told you Miss Lina!" The princess beamed up at her friend as she collected her winnings. "Twenty-nine is a lucky number!"

"So it would seem!" Zelgadiss agreed with a slight shake off his head. He was quite relieved to discover that apparently the only thing the little princess remembered about their unfortunate meeting in the hallway was that awful room number. _Now if I can just find some way to get Xelloss to keep his mouth shut…_

Lina shook her head and turned toward her blond counter part. "Come on Gourry, let's go get something to eat and turn in!"

"Alright food!" Gourry agreed and ran off with the sorceress.

Zelgadiss sweatdropped as he watched them go. "It would appear food is the last thing on those two's minds before they turn in, and when they rise."

"They sure are something all right!" Amelia agreed, attempting to hoist the sack she had placed her winnings in over her shoulder. She wasn't exactly successful in that objective and Zelgadiss shook his head as the weight of the many golden chips gave into gravity, pulling the little princess with it. "Oh no!"

"Here, let me help you with that." He offered easily pulling the bag over his shoulder with on hand as he picked up Amelia with the other.

"Thanks Mr. Zelgadiss." Amelia stated hanging her head bashfully.

"Don't mention it." The Chimera replied with a chuckle. "Perhaps I should help you carry this back to the room."

"But Mr. Zelgadiss!" The princess inquired peering up at him confused. "Aren't you staying there too?"

Zelgadiss blushed slightly, considering the days events. "I really don't feel that's appropriate, Amelia."

Amelia shrugged. "Okay! But if you want to you can stay." She beamed up at him. "Mr. Xelloss did purchase the room for you too, after all!"

"Amelia." The chimera sighed and they began walking towards the room. "Sometimes Xelloss doesn't really understand things…" _And sometimes I think he understands things far too well…_

* * *

Xelloss smirked outwardly at the nervous dragon maiden, enjoying making her worry and wait on edge as he took his time deciding the first of her three questions. While he appeared completely content with the situation, and he wasn't _entirely_ displeased with the turn of events, he was utterly annoyed that he had underestimated her so. _I just don't understand it… _

Filia glared at the mazoku as he took his time, no doubt deciding which disreputable question to ask of her first. _Filthy monster! How dare he corner me like this!_ She chose to overlook the fact that she, as usual, had started it first.

"Well namagomi!" She asked haughtily, downing another glass and glaring at him. "What do you want to know!"

Xelloss twitched and smirked annoyingly, causing her in turn to twitch as well. "Well I must admit I am curious as to where such a naive little dragon as yourself learned to drink like that!" He shook his head in adoration as he peered over at the large stack of empty pitchers and glasses on the table next to them. "Oh my! What a mess you've made!"

"Jilias and Gravos taught me, that's how!" She replied haughtily, then gave him an evil smirk. "They warned me that sleazy men liked to get pretty young girls drunk and take advantage of them!" She peered knowingly at the mazoku. "It appears they were right!"

Xelloss twitched harder. _Sleazy!_... He held his nose up and turned away from her. "Oh my, Filia. You know you really are a rather ridiculous dragon." He smirked back at her enraged face, cracking an eye. "Or did you simply forget that you were the one who started this mess in the first place!"

Filia's tail and fangs popped out and she was about to go off on him when she got a better idea. Sitting down, and switching from alcohol to her iced tea, she smirked at him. "Hmm, that's your second question? Well alright, no I…"

Xelloss eyes popped open and he quickly jumped up threw a hand over her mouth to silence her. "Oh no you don't! You won't be getting out of it that quickly Filia!"

He smirked at her wide eyes as he retook his seat and took a sip of his own drink. "No, my second question is why are you really marring that lecherous little dragon!" Xelloss twitched despite himself and gripped his staff a little hard, wishing it was said lecherous little dragon's neck. "You don't honestly think he cares about you, do you?"

"No!" Filia replied, tilting her nose upward and turning her back on him. "But that's not the point!"

"Oh!" Xelloss inquired, raising his eyebrows in genuine curiosity. "Then just what is, Filia?"

Filia smirked up at him. "That's two questions namagomi!'

Xelloss smirked back. "Not true! Why I do believe the original question was 'why are you marring that lecherous little dragon,' was it not!"

Filia glared at him. "Because I feel like it! Why do you care anyway, namagomi!"

"Care! Whoever said I cared!" Xelloss replied smirk beginning to slip. _Why do I care!_

"Well you seem to be pretty curious!" Filia replied , also twitching, although pleased to have led him off track.

"Oh I see!" Xelloss stated, smirk now firmly back in place as he sat back. "You're just trying to evade the question! Well we can't have that now, can we!" He took a sip of his drink calmly as the dragon maiden fumed. "Well go on Filia, answer the question!"

Filia was about to go off on him again, when once again she realized the opportunity before her. She sat back with a smirk, and folded her arms over her chest. "Fine, yes I was trying to evade the question, but now _that_ you asked me to answer that one instead, well I suppose my answer doesn't matter anyway does it!"

She stuck her tongue out at him and Xelloss' eyes popped open, yet again. "Wha… wha…" _She… she did it again!_

* * *

"Wha… what…" Zelgadiss stared at the room in complete shock as he let the door swing open.  
"What's the matter Mr. Zel… Eeeeee! What happened!" Amelia gazed around the room dumbfounded, then blushed profusely and stared at her shoes in embarrassment. "Mr. Zelgadiss? Did you do this?"

The already scarlet chimera, blushed deeper at the implication. "Wha… No! I… I have absolutely no idea who could have done this!" _Well not that I wish to mention out loud anyway…_

Zelgadiss shook his head darkly as he took in the sight of 'Stony Loves Short Women!' painted all over the walls in what appeared to be chocolate, or so he hoped anyway.

"What do you think, Stony!" Lokkin asked, hopping onto the bed and motioning to this shy company of Grins. "I had my pack get me some white chocolate too, just in case you weren't a fan of the color!"

"Arrrgg!" Zelgadiss growled dropping the sack and grabbing free his sword as he rushed towards the grinning monstrosity. "I'm going to ki…"

Lokkin snickered when the chimera was cut off as the little princess knocked him out of the way and leap after her long, lost, statement to the power of Justice and True Love. "Mr. Lokkin!"

Lokkin closed his eyes in anticipation and was surprised to feel her arms wrap around him and yet he appeared to maintain consciousness. _Hmm… so apparently I have to be looking at her for it to work… Good too know! This may work out after all!... Hmmm, this really is quite nice, I could stay her like this forev… focus man! Pull yourself together!... Ahh… but it's so warm… and squishy!_

"Mr. Lokkin!" Amelia asked worriedly pulling him away to look at him. He hadn't moved since she'd hugged him and she was afraid he might have passed out, as the two seemed to be connected for some odd reason. "Are you all right!"

"Quite!" The tiny Grin master smirked with a leer as he open his eyes. "You and Stony here, are just the people I needed to see!"

"Huh?" The little princess asked setting him down on the bed and taking a seat beside him, not catching onto his twisted gaze. "Why's that?"

_Fascinating, they bounce when she 's spea…_ "Huh?" Lokkin looked up, realizing her last question was aimed at him. "Oh... Uh, I need you guys to answer a few questions for me…"

He tilted his head reabsorbing his 'pack' and shrugged self-consciously. "If you want to anyway."

Zelgadiss smirked despite himself as he walked over to join them. _He's just like a little kid..._

The chimera spotted where Lokkin's gaze had wound up, and twitched. _Well perhaps more like a perverse and confused teenager…_

"What sort of questions?" The princess asked curious.

"Yes." Zelgadiss agreed darkly, tightening his grip on his sword and giving the Grin Master a pointed look. "What _sort_ of questions?"

Lokkin rotated his gaze from the princess' chest up to the chimera's darkened face, and his grin widened. "Why, the reason Dynast really wants me to kill you guys of course!" He shook his head sadly. "Sherrast simply refuses to explain the logic of it to me..." He smirked at this. "I suppose some mindless slave like her, doesn't even stop to wonder about things. If the master say's jump, she _hops_ to it!"

The Grin Master chuckled at his little pun as Zelgadiss and the princess looked at him perplexed.

"So." Zelgadiss stated after a moment of thought. "It appears you are able to think for yourself..." He smirked down at the grinning menace, his hand on his chin in thought. "Well I suppose as a mazoku, that makes you quite defective."

Lokkin grinned up at him. "Ahh! But I never said I was a mazoku!" He beamed knowingly at the startled chimera. "I can use Holy Magic! Remember!"

"So you aren't really evil!" Amelia squealed, wrapping him into a hug, he barely closed his eyes in time. "Oh Mr. Lokkin! I'm so happy!"

"Whamaevil?" Came the muffled reply as Lokkin's face was once again pressed against her bosom, not that he minded.

"What was that?" She asked pulling him back away, and setting him on the bed again.

"I asked, what does evil mean?" Lokkin replied shaking his head to clear it. "I am unfamiliar with the meaning of that term!" He grinned up at their startled expression. "I'm just a little Grin Master, after all!"

Zelgadiss and Amelia shared a look, before the thrilled princess took action and jumped up on the dresser!

* * *

"Are you absolutely certain that I can't get you anything to drink!" Cruz pleaded with them, as Lina and Gourry tore into their final meal of the day.  
After spotting Xelloss and Filia having a very heated discussion in the dinning hall, she and Gourry had decided to retire to the room early and order room service instead. By Mr. Garson's request, Cruz had been assigned to deal with the rooms assigned to the four couples, and to attempt to get them as drunk as possible. Mr. Garson had even mentioned that drugging the food would be a completely acceptable course of action. However, Cruz considered himself a proud bartender and felt that such a horrid act would be a direct blow against his honor. As such… he'd give them three days.

"But haven't we already had seven glasses of milk?" Gourry asked, looking up from his food perplexed.

"He means alcohol, you jellyfish!" Lina stated, also pausing from her feasting, in order to kick him in the head.

Cruz sweatdropped and quickly backed out the door. "Well I'll just leave you two, to your meal!" With that he hopped into the hall shutting the door quickly behind him. "Ta ta!"

Outside, he leaned against the door with a miserable sigh. "It's no use! The boss is going to kill me!"

"That is not necessarily true." A soft humble voice spoke up from his side and Cruz turned to see that brunette from their party leaning against the wall, smiling at him. He brightened immediately and drew forth his peacock quill in glee. "So then you would care for something to drink!"

"Hmm, not yet." Yade replied casually pushing herself off the wall. "Alas, what I am here to offer is better that that anyway."

"Oh!" The unfortunate bartender asked with a sweatdrop, he highly doubted that.

"Indeed." She stated. "If I can guarantee you shall win back all that we owe, plus the same amount for yourself, will you be at my request for the remainder of this cruise?"

Cruz cocked his head. "You mean you want me to be your slave!"

The Phoenix snorted. "Hardly, I simply wish that you fall under my employment as opposed to your bosses." She smiled reassuringly at him. "That is not so awful, is it?"

He pondered this for a moment. "No, I suppose not." He glared at the pink floor boards. "I'm not going to have this one much longer as it is anyway."

Yade smiled at the gross understatement. "Hmm, time will tell." She handed him a bag of gold. "For now however, take this and head to the black jack tables." She looked evenly at him as he took the bag from her. "Always bet the whole bag, and you are to stay on the first, hit on the second, hit on the third, and stay on the forth… understand?"

Cruz peered from the bag to her serious face. "Will that actually work?"

"Oh yes!" the Phoenix replied smoothly, emerald eyes glinting. "I have foreseen it." She smirked at him. "Once, you see for yourself that I am worthy, return here for you first task in an hour."

The bartender watched as the mysterious woman turned and walked off, then gazed at the bag in his hand. _Stay, hit, hit, and then stay, huh? Well it's worth a shot…_

* * *

Xelloss stared at her in annoyance as she smugly smirked back. He wasn't quite certain how he wanted to do it, but he was certain he wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off her face. He could think of quite a few creative ways, and to be honest he was terrified he was even thinking of a few of them!

_Hmm… well, you could ask the question again… or… Ahh! Now won't that be fun!_

Filia faltered slightly as Xelloss suddenly closed his eyes and beamed at her. _Uh oh, this can't be good…_

"So!" Xelloss stated sitting back again. "It would appear I have one question left…" He cracked an eye at her. "I make you a deal, if you answer it fully and honestly..." He opened and narrowed both of his eyes at her. "… and believe me I'll know if you don't…"

Filia shuddered and he closed his eyes again smirk widening. "If you do, we'll play a game of _your_ choosing… if not… well then I have the perfect one in mind." He glared at her dangerously. "As I said, I can't very well be made a fool of by some stupid dragon!"

The dragon maiden swallowed nervously, but held her head high. _It's only a question after all!_ "Well, what is it namagomi?"

Xelloss smirked at her..._Perfect!_... "Hmm, I really not certain I should…"

"Just get out with it!" Filia snarled, twitching.

"Well, alright." The Trickster Priest agreed with a shrug before gazing at her open eyed with an evil smirk. "Why is it, that my being with Miss Yade bothers you so?"

Filia's eyes widened in shock. "You mean you two are actually a couple!" She shrieked standing to her feet in outrage, mace drawn, tail knocking over the empty glasses and pitchers on the table behind her, causing them to shatter.

"So it would _seem_!" The mazoku stated absently brushing off some of the glass shards that had landed on his cloak. "Why does it bother you so much, Filia?"

"We… be… I…" She stopped in mid-swing and considered the question. "Wha… uh…"

Xelloss watched amused as the confused dragon maiden pondered his words. Finally, apparently unable too come up with anything Filia shrugged. "I don't know… I… I just do…"

She sat down in defeat and the General-Priest nodded his understanding. _Yes… you just do… Hmm… I suppose I just do too… Well, empathy aside_, he now had her where he wanted her and he wasn't about to give up that control because her could understand her feelings.

"Oh my, Filia!" He commented casually as he shifted in his seat. "It does appear I've won our little bargain, so now were going to play a little game!"

Filia shuddered, not certain she wanted to know, but needing to ask. "What kind of game?"

"Hmm, now that's a secret!" Xelloss replied with a knowing smirk and a finger wave, as he rose from his seat. "However, you may wish to bring some extra clothes!"

"What!" Filia exclaimed, blushing furiously as she rose to her feet. "You can't be serious!"

"Oh I'm quite serious, Filia!" He shook his head with an amused smile. "Although I'd love to see what would happen to you if you didn't!" He faded out, his voice continuing as he went. "Meet me in Miss Yade and my room in an hour!"


	21. Episode 021: There's No I In Team!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

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_Twenty-One Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

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Episode 021: There's No "I" In Team************!**

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********Pre-Game Recruiting?!**

* * *

"So you see Mr. Lokkin!" Amelia continued waving her Justice finger at the thoroughly engrossed Grin. "That's why being evil is wrong!"

"Not to mention the fact." Zelgadiss added casually. "That treating others poorly, will ensure that when they surpass you in power that you will be treated just as poorly."

The young Grin Master stared at the gaudy pink floor boards considering their words. "I see. So what your saying, is that being evil will enviably bring about pain, torment, suffering and eventually world destruction and the death of all living things as we know it!" He shook his head in annoyance. "Damn, Dynast's teachings aren't just awful, they're ridiculous!"

Zelgadiss and Amelia shared a sweatdrop.

"Well, over time, I suppose that is certainly a possibility." Zelgadiss agreed with a shrug. "But that's not our current concern."

"Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked looking up at him, perplexed.

"Stony!" The Grin Master inquired.

Zelgadiss grimaced, but didn't comment on the nickname. "Right now, we need to make certain that you get back to Sherrast and keep her from learning about your little change of heart."

"Awww!" Lokkin whined, kicking the comforter with a furry foot. "But she's mean to me!"

"Oh! Poor Mr. Lokkin!" The Princess cooed, grabbing him up in a hug. "That's all right! You can stay in my room, okay!"

"Really?" Lokkin asked clutching his furry paws together and peering up at her with shiny eyes. "You'll let me sleep with you guys?'

"Yep." Amelia stated cheerfully, bobbing her head. At the same time Zelgadiss dropped his arms form there crossed stated and exclaimed furiously. "No!"

Lokkin looked up at the two mildly annoyed, he was getting the feeling there was a lack of communication going on.

"But Mr. Zelgadiss..." The little princess whined in a sad voice. "Mr. Lokkin needs our protection!"

"Amelia…" Zelgadiss stated coolly. "He's more powerful than either of us, it's us who need the protection should Sherrast come looking for him."

Lokkin looked back and forth between the pouting lower lip and shiny eyes of the princess to the stiff upper lip and firm gaze of the chimera. Little by little the princess' pout grew more defined as the chimera expression grew less. Finally the chimera let out a sigh. "Fine, but we have to tell Lina about this."

"Yea, thank you Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia squealed wrapping the chimera in a large and quite firm hug, thereby causing him to blush profusely and look at the chocolate cover walls and the message they bestowed thereby making him blush even harder as he quickly averted his gaze and stared at the ceiling.

Lokkin smirked at his new friends as there came the sound of Zelgadiss clearing his throat followed by. "It's nothing."

_Hmm… so when she pouts his resolve breaks… _Lokkin smirked, this would be fun.

* * *

  
Filia glared at her dresser as she pulled from it her "extra clothes" and tossed them on the bed. "Ooooh, that filthy monster how dare he make me humiliate myself like this! Why I'll… I'll…"

"You'll what!" Xelloss asked phasing into the room behind her causing her to jump up in shock and turn on him mace drawn and tail exposed.

"I'LL WIN!" She growled fire cloaking both her hair and her gaze.

Xelloss held in the gasp he wanted to make. She was on fire literally, he'd never seen anything more deliciously gorgeous his entire life. He smirked to himself. _Hmm… now how to make this fire blaze into an inferno…_

"Oh!" He asked arching his eyebrows in amusement at her bogus claim, there was no way she could beat him, not in the little game he had in mind. "And how do you propose to do that, Filia?"

His smirk widened annoyingly. "You don't even know what game was playing!"

Filia glared at him, draconic pried feeding the flames. "I'LL WIN BECAUSE DRAGONS ARE **_ALWAYS_** BETTER THAN MAZOKU!"

"Oh?" Xelloss replied his smirk doubling. "So Dragons are a bunch of whores who spend so much time trying to get each other naked in a game of Strip Poker that a little monster like me who plays it every Friday wouldn't stand a chance!"

"YES… I mean NO!... I mean… STRIP POKER! WHY YOU LITTE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Xelloss smirked in utter delight as the flames doubled in size. "Yare, yare I thought you were going to beat me, Filia! How can you beat me when you don't even know how to play!"

"HOLD STILL THEN I'LL BEAT YOU!" The enraged dragoness yelled taking a mad swing of her mace.

* * *

  
"Unbelievable." Cruz stated to himself in shock as he quickly shoved his winnings into a horrid violet, maroon, and sea green carpet bag he had bought on the last cruise. He had gotten it for quite cheap as for some reason not quite known to him no one seemed to want to buy one! _Heh_, he thought to himself letting out a giddy little laugh which caused the other men standing nearby the odd little man with the queer carpet bag to take to steps back and gaze in relief at there partners breasts in relief. _With all this gold, I can pay off Mr. Garson and still have room to purchase that bright Robin's Egg Blue, rabbit-skin coat I've always dreamed of owning! _

Giggling madly Cruz clutched the carpet bag to his chest and clicked his heels together before dashing down the hall.

The man in the cloak who _had_ been quite close to winning back all of his losses from that game with the blond moron from before watched him go with a perplexed glare and turned back to the table prepared **_once again_**, to win back all his losses. Unfortunately, the dealer got Black Jack on the first hand. The man in the cloak, in a fit of reasonable fury, thereby jumped at the dealer and began strangling him.

* * *

  
Filia collapsed in a panting heap on the large heart-shaped bed and glared at the bane of her existence. Xelloss calmly smiled back; expertly hiding the rage of delightful emotions he was feeling right now. He had felt her rage when she was in dragon form and it was strong but in "enflamed human form" as he had decided to call it, it seemed all of her rage doubled the flavor of this controlled rage was emasculate.

Filia noticed Xelloss had a slight flush crossing his features, if she didn't know better she'd think he was drunk! She sighed getting up off the bed and heading back over to the dresser, shooting him an annoyed look.

"You mind leaving, so I can get dressed?" She asked darkly.

Xelloss smirked considering giving a reply that was certain to reignite her rage but decided against it. He was beginning to feel a bit tipsy as it was. _Besides…_

"Certainly! Miss Filia!" He stated with a smart bow cracking an eye to peer at the twitching dragoness. "But as I've said I've seen it all before!" He ducked the mirror that was tossed at his head and phased in close and whispered in her ear. "Besides, in about an hour I'm just gonna see it all again anyway!"

Filia let out an enraged growl and turned on him but Xelloss tittered in glee and phased out. _And now to sober up!_

Filia glared at the blank space next to her before turning her nose up at it and returning to her clothing selection. She smirked holding one of her choice "extra clothes" up to her waist.

"We'll just see about that Xelloss!"

* * *

  
"Which room are they staying in, Amelia?" The chimera asked the little princess pretending not to see yet another strange look they had received as a couple passed by. They must make a fine pair of freaks a tiny girl holding hands with a large, Robin's Egg Blue, rabbit-like monstrosity, accompanied by a stone freak lugging a large sack of gold chips.

"Um…" Amelia pondered putting a finger to his chin. "Well, Mr. Xelloss said he put them as far from the food storage as possible so that would mean…"

"This is it." Zelgadiss finished stopping at Room 986. "I didn't even know this ship had nine floors."

"It doesn't!" The ever-annoying voice of the Trickster Priest spoke up phasing into view beside them causing both Zelgadiss and the little princess to jump, and Lokkin to titter a snicker. Xelloss smirked down at him before holding up a trademark finger to add. "This suite has a sound proof barrier on it as does Miss Filia's and Mr. Jarrek's" Xelloss twitched despite himself at this, the twitch was noted by both Zelgadiss and Lokkin who shared a brief look. Xelloss quickly regained composure and gave the trio a lewd smirk. "These sound-proof rooms are design so the couples with the most… _stamina_… can cause all the noise they want and not disturb the other couples!"

His smirk widened as both the princess and the chimera turned a stark shade of scarlet. Lokkin tapped his foot in thought before a look of understanding crossed his face.

"Oh I see!" The Grin Master grinned rotating his gaze over to the blushing couple. "So basically they have their _own floor_!" His smirked widened. "I bet _Stony_ would like that, wouldn't you _Stony_!"

Zelgadiss' scarlet faced flushed maroon from the added embarrassment and rage. Ever-so-slowly he pulled free his sword and rose over his head. "… going… to… _KILL_… _**YOU**_!"

Lokkin tittered zipping down the hall. "You can try!"

* * *

  
A blur of blue fur, followed closely by a blur of steel, which was followed by blue-gray stone, raced past the still bubbly Cruz causing his hair to fly as though struck by a great bout of wind. Cruz turned his head in their direction his mouth dropped in disbelief.

_Was that a…? Nah… well…. Was it?_

* * *

  
Xelloss watched them go in amusement. He was, however, perplexed about Lokkin's choice of companions, he wasn't sure he was quite trust worthy. However, he was certain the little Grin Master could kill him if he wanted so he'd let it slide. Putting on his best smile he gazed with feigned fondness down on the little princess.

"Miss Amelia!" He stated cheerfully putting a hand on her shoulder. "I wonder if you'd be willing to do me a slight favor!"

"A favor?" Amelia asked perplexed as she tore her concerned gaze away from the love of her life whom was trying to viciously murder her statement to the power of True Love and Justice. Trying, and fortunately, or unfortunately depending how you look at it, failing miserably. "What sort of… wait NO!"

"No!" The mazoku asked arching his eyebrows in genuine surprise.

"No." The little princess stated firmly crossing her arms and pointing her nose up in firm resolve. "You said very bad things about Miss Lina, Mr. Gourry, Miss Filia, and Mr. Jarrek!" Despite her best efforts the little princess also twitched at his name.

Xelloss smirked. "Oh I see! You misunderstand Miss Amelia!"

Amelia looked up at him startled and bit worried she might have falsely accused him. "I do?"

The mazoku nodded placing his free arm behind his head. "You see, while I do not deny that the reasons I gave before are the true purpose of these rooms design, I gave them to Miss Lina and Miss Filia for a different reason!"

"A different reason?" The little princess repeated perplexed, pressing her finger to her lips in thought.

"Yes!" Xelloss replied. "Certainly you have noted the way both Miss Lina and Miss Filia leave the rooms we've stayed in along the way!"

"You mean they leave behind gross structural damage as well as every other form of damage known to man." Zelgadiss spoke up giving up and sliding his sword into its sheaf as he slumped against the wall. "Which, might I add you tend to instigate." He smirked. "At least on Filia's part."

Xelloss' smirk widened. "This is true! I do tend to enjoy our late night visits!"

"So you like her then, don't ya!" Lokkin stated climbing into the defeated chimera's lap and settling in. Zelgadiss glared at him but shrugged and gave up at he noticed the look of adoring happiness Amelia was giving him. Besides the look on Xelloss' face was more than worth it.

Xelloss' eyes were bugged open and his moth made a few movements without sound before he was able to mutter. "I most certainly do not!" He crossed his arms and pointed his nose in the air. "To imagine, me and that selfish worthless dragon!"

"Well I think it's wonderful, Mr. Xelloss!" Amelia stated clasping her hands together as little hearts formed in her eyes. "Is that the favor you need of me! Do you need me to write her a love letter describing how you feel!"

"Erm, no." Xelloss negated holding up a hand. "That's quite unnecessary!"

He smiled at the disappointed princess and replied. "Actually what I need is for you too tell absolutely _every_ reason the you find life to be… won…" He shuddered despite himself. _Well, I'll certainly be sober after all this!_ "… good… why life is good!"

Amelia beamed at him as Zelgadiss dropped his mouth in shock. "Well lets see there's the tree's because they give us air to breath and help create the water we drink, not to mention they can be used for wood, which can be used for houses, boats, paper…"

* * *

  
"So am I right in assuming you are satisfied with our arrangement?" Yade asked stepping out of the shadows and smirking at Cruz who nodded vigorously.

"I am most pleased." Yade said with a kind smile. "I did feel quite sorry for the position I _knew_ we would put you in and I believe this exchange of services will be enough to relieve my conscious."

"Not at all, Madam." Cruz negated with a smart bow. "Without you I would never be able to achieve my life long dream of owning a bright Robin's Egg Blue fur coat!"

Yade sweatdropped considering a certain little Grin Master she would have to warn to stay far away from this character. Everything concerning both Lokkin and Sherrast was murky to her visions as neither of them should exist. Eventually, when the _time_ was right, she would use Xelloss' Blood Orb to find out about Sherrast. She would simply ask Lokkin of his creation. Perverse thought he was, she had no desire to see him end up as a coat for this fruit cake.

"Well we all must have our aspirations." She replied calmly smile in place. "Tonight, you shall help me with mine."

She led him to the ships staircase and directed a hand down it. "Down here is a creature that appears to be human but is in fact a gross cross bread of monster and… something else."

She held Cruz's scared oak gaze in her own firm emerald one. "She should have never been created and is a dangerous abomination to all whom live."

She smiled softly. "I would like you to go down there and invite her to a game of Strip Poker."

The unfortunate bartender facefaulted.

"You want me to _what_!" Cruz asks pulling himself to his feet in exasperation.

Yade smirked despite herself. "Well it is obvious you shall not be phrasing the request so… directly." She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You are to say, that the Lesser Beast, whom you serve, has requested that Lord Dynast's newly appointed and created General-Priest join him for a challenge of wits in the face of adversity!"

She chuckled at this pleased with her wording and Cruz looked at her perplexed. It appeared the entire group was insane for certain now, and he had been so hoping.

She smiled at Cruz and continued. "You will also tell her that he states that any harm to his servant or her refusal to join him will obviously be seen as a sign of weakness on her part and Grin Master Lokkin, will inform Lord Dynast of it immediately."

She gave him a reassuring pat on the back and pushed him towards the stairwell. "Do try to hurry the game will be beginning quite shortly in the Violet Billiard Room."

* * *

  
"… and then of course there is that marble, gold-gilded, banana that Mr. Gourry found!" Amelia beamed at her sack of goods sitting next to a glazed chimera sporting a snoring Grin Master in his lap, who Zelgadiss mused was actually quite adorable when he was asleep. Even his tiny snores were cute and cuddly.

She turned her gazed on the slumped over mazoku General-Priest who was leaning on his staff for support. "Without that I would have never finally got the money to pay daddy back for all the treasury money we spend whenever we go on a quest with Miss Lina!"

The little princess grew a slight frown at this and Xelloss seizing his moment, he had been far past the point of sobriety a while ago but when Amelia got going… "Thank you, Miss Amelia you've been a great help but I'm afraid any more happiness and I'd be too weak to phase off to tonight's festivities!" He tipped slightly holding onto his staff for support. "I think I'm going to have to take a few minutes to recover as it stands."

"Mr. Xelloss?" Amelia asked concerned, she hadn't meant to hurt him it was just… well… Life was wonderful!

"Don't worry about him Amelia." Zelgadiss stated getting to his feet careful not to wake the snoring Grin Master. "He asked you to do this to him."

Zelgadiss smirked. "Discover a new way to prove you sadomasochism, Xelloss?"

Xelloss smirked back, picturing a certain enflamed dragoness. "You could put it that way!"

Amelia looked back and forth between the two confused. Zelgadiss shook his head in a cross between amusement and disgust and walked over to the door. "Come on Amelia let's get this over with and head off to bed. Lokkin seems exhausted."

"Get this over with?" Xelloss repeated aloud tilting his head. He had been so concentrated on sobering up he hadn't even considered what the two of them were doing in front of Lina's room so late at night with the Grin Master who had attacked them twice and was now curled up asleep in the chimera's arms, who really didn't seem to mind that much. Xelloss arched a brow this would need investigating.

Amelia knocked on the door softly before opening it. "Miss Lin…"

She was cut off by a yell of "that's _my_ Breakfast and no we don't want anything to drink with it." accompanied by the harsh throwing of a water basin which flew over her head and crashed into Zelgadiss' face where it shattered instantly, showering Lokkin in porcelain fragments. The small Grin Master sat up with a stretch and a yawn as he blinked his abnormally humanistic eyes open. "Breakfast?"

Amelia shut the door warily. "Maybe we should leave her alone for tonight and just ask her in the morning!"

Zelgadiss sighed. "I'd really like too but if Sherrast comes looking for him tonight we'll have to wake her up anyway and she'll be twice as mad."

Amelia gulped and looked back and forth from the still blinking Grin Master to the doorknob. "Um… well… uh."

"Oh I see!" Xelloss stated with a light titter. "Mr. Lokkin has left Miss Sherrast against her orders and now you need extra protection in case she comes to look for him!"

"So?" Zelgadiss asked turning on him annoyed. "You figured it out, have any bright ideas on how to fix our little dilemma?"

"Of course!" Xelloss replied, ever-so-pleased to be asked. "You guys can all hang with me!"

His grin widened as he considered the beauty of having the little trio join him, both strategic and for amusement purposes. "I insist!"

With that he phased them all away before any protests could be made. _Oh my! Won't this be fun!_


	22. Episode 022: Picasso's Muse!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Two Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

_P.S. Only Twenty more to go! Whew this thing is long... **(n.n)**  
_

**********

* * *

Episode 022: No Shirt, No Shoes, but Plenty of Lipstick************!**

**********

* * *

  
********Picasso's Muse?!**

* * *

Deep in the under bowls of the Loveboat, a maintenance man was sent on the ever common task of finding a wrench.

Grumbling as usual about the constant uselessness of his supervisor Tom, the maintenance man stomped down the stairs and turned into the rusty, yet still quite pink hall leading to the maintenance closet.

To add to his irritation, when he yanked open the door he found a bitter blue hair-ed old crone had taken up residence there, unfortunately for him, he didn't see the knife she'd fashioned out of rusted pink metal.

"Forgive me kind sir, but I'm afraid I have a problem." Sherrast said, tightening her grip around the dagger as she smiled serenely at the irritated matince guy… his name was Bill, although that is probably irrelevant…

"Yeh." Bill sneered, looping his thumbs in his tool belt. "You're damn right ya do. Your in a restricted area, and now I'm going to have to report ya."

Sherrast's smile widened and she gave a light serene laugh. "Well It seems I now have the solution to both problems."

In a matter of seconds she pulled him into the room, pulling the maintenance hatch shut, her new knife at his throat. "You see, I have a very irritating bunny to skin, that was problem number one …"

"Was?" The terrified Bill whimpered.

"Yes." Sherrast stated peacefully. "I must use the past tense because now you are here and well, the solution to both my rabbit problem and my being in a restricted area will be solved by the same plan."

An evil glint was just barely seen in her pale blue, expressionless eyes a she held the dagger above her head. "Now tell me… How does this make you feel?" 

* * *

  
Xelloss whistled a cheerful tune causing the small odd trio of princess, chimera, and Grin Master to eye him warily as set up chairs around the table.

"Mr. Xelloss…" Amelia asked hesitantly, eyeing the number of chairs. "Um… me and Mr. Zelgadiss aren't playing, are we?"

Amelia paused for a moment, suddenly perplexed. "_What_ are you guys playing anyway?"

Xelloss beamed. "A most challenging game where one must keep their cool no matter how deep in they get! One where luck can overcome skill at any moment!" He smirked lewdly. "and a game where winning pays off in ways you can only imaging."

He turned gesturing a hand at the violet walls. "Here in this room the proud winner shall stand high above the losers, who shall cower before him in their naked humility!"

The trio sweatdropped as the mazoku stared off into the unknown, a doofy smile plastered to his face.

Zelgadiss shuddered, it was never a good thing to see Xelloss happy, and only one thing would make this happy, based off the horrid foreshadowing. "You mean that literally, don't you?"

Xelloss sweatdropped, and spun around to face a horrified Lokkin and Amelia. "Heh… well…"

Lokkin's eyes doubled in terror. He seemed to pass out just from being near the princesses chest, if here were to actually see them…

Amelia's horrified thoughts were interrupted by the thump as Lokkin swooned off the table.

"Mr. Lokkin!" Amelia cried, attempting to run over to him.

"Leave him." Zelgadiss stated, snagging her by the arm. "He's safer that way, besides, he can't get naked, so this has nothing to do with him."

"Quite right!" Xelloss agreed wrapping an arm around each of them. "But you do!"

"Oh no!" Zelgadiss replied, picking Xelloss' arm up by the wrist and dropping it off his shoulder, before pulling a scarlet Amelia out from under the other one. "We are not getting evolved in this."

Xelloss shrugged. "Suit yourself, that just guarantees I'll definitely win ! Oh dear! Poor Filia…" He grinned wickedly.

Amelia looked horrorstruck. "But! Oh no! Mr. Zelgadiss! We have to play! If not the odds of Mr. Xelloss wining are…"

Zelgadiss sighed. "Yeah I know, but Filia did agree to this, Amelia."

"But Miss Filia will be disgraced! " Amelia cried, distraught. "She's our friend! We have to help her."

Amelia looked pleadingly up at the chimera. "I know you can help, your so good at everything, sometimes even better than Miss Lina, Please Mr. Zelgadiss!"

Zelgadiss sighed looking down at the small pleading princess… _It was the right thing to do, besides _… Lokkin's voice whispered in his head. _We both know you wanna see her naked, eh Stony!_

Zelgadiss crushed the thought, well attempted too anyway… "Okay. We'll play."

"Excellent!" Xelloss replied clapping his hands together cheerfully. "Now all we need to do is wait for the others!"

Zelgadiss shook shi head mournfully. "What have we got ourselves into."

* * *

  
Cruz whimpered slightly making his way down the bright pink metal staircase. Thinking calming thoughts of his future Robin's Egg blue fur coat, ah yes… calming, he walked on and then he heard the muffled screams and… therapeutic dialogue?

"Believe me, this hurts me more than it hurts you…" A serene female voice stated from behind the door of the Maintenance Closet as another scream sounded. "I mean I'm the one trapped in a closet when I should be wreaking havoc on that pathetic Beast Priest and his little pet dragon. Disgusting!"

"You know! You think you know someone…" the voice continued in the same serene tone as another scream sounded, Cruz bit his lip and edged closer, swallowing hard as he raised his hand to knock.

"And then they surprise you. I mean she's a golden dragon for L-Sama's sake! I mean how desperate is he…"

"maybe… maybe he… he's… just experi…. experimenting…" a weak male voice spoke up, deliriously.

"hmm… perhaps." the first voice agreed. ":You know, I hadn't thought of that… but never the less it's still disgusting! Now where were we…"

Before he would have to endure another one of those horrid screams Cruz knocked smartly on the door.

"Now what?" The female voice hissed to itself, throwing open the door.

"Yes?" Sherrast asked politely, a serene smile on her face as she wiped a bloody screwdriver on her robes. "May I help you?"

Cruz stared in wide-eyed horror at this disturbingly serene creature and her bloodstained robes. "I must paint you!"

"Pardon?" Sherrast asked, her normal serene way replaced with dark confusion.

"You eyes, your hair! You bloodstain garments and that screwdriver!" He eyed her and Sherrast backed away disturbed. "You are Picasso's muse."

Sherrast blinked, she had no clue who Picasso was but some sub-conscious part of her was certain she'd just been insulted. "Do you have a function?"

Cruz blinked at her, and then remembered why he was here.

"Forgive me for interrupting madam." He replied, dropping into a smart bow, to which Sherrast sweatdropped, and slowly backed away a step. "But I have been asked to deliver a message to you."

"A message?" Sherrast replied, her serene mask back in place.

"Yes." Cruz nodded, staying bowed. "the Lesser Beast, whom you serve, has requested that Lord Dynast's newly appointed and created General-Priest join him for a challenge of wits in the face of adversity."

"Has he?" Sherrast replied, her serene expression never changing.

"Yes madam." Cruz continued. "He also states that any harm to myself or your refusal to join him will obviously be seen as a sign of weakness on her part and Grin Master Lokkin, will inform Lord Dynast of it immediately."

"Will he?" Sherrast stated serenely, dropping the screwdriver on the mutilated body. "And where pray tell shall this 'challenge of wits in the face of adversity' occur?"

"in the Violet Billiard Room madam." Cruz responded smartly.

"So be it." Sherrast replied with a serene shrug. "Lead on."

* * *

  
"And that's when they named me their chosen one." Jarrek stated, with mock humility. "I was then begged to take over rule of their clan, but I had to refuse."

He hung his head sadly. "You see I want a family someday and a warlords life hails no place for that.."

Marissa's eyes grew shiny, and she placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. "It was the right choice. You'll make a lovely father."

"You think so?" Jarrek asked, biting a knuckle. "Sometimes I'm not so sure, what with how I lost poor Alleese."

He broke off, burying his head in his hands, setting down on the bed.

"Oh! But that wasn't your fault Jarrek." Marissa cried, sitting down on the bed and wrapping her arms around him. "You couldn't have saved your brother."

"I just…" Jarrek began pathetically, but Marissa placed a finger to his lips.

"Shh, that enough." She stated soothingly, removing her arms and placing her hands at the knots that held her top on. "Here… I know how to make you feel better."

Jarrek smirked inwardly … _Ah yeah… I still got it…_

* * *

  
Yade sighed, Cruz would have completed his part, now it was her turn.

Masking her disgust, she approached the door to a certain receptionist's room.

Ignoring the sounds on the other side she opened the door to reveal a topless Jarrek snogging with an equally topless Marissa.

"Yade!" Jarrek squawked, spitting out a piece of long wavy hair. "This isn't what it looks like!"

He paused and thought for a moment, before a lecherous smirk formed on his lips. "Unless you want to join of course!"

"WHAT?!!" Marissa squawked, pulling the blanket around her, and jumping outraged to her feet.

"No thanks, I already have plans that evolve stripping." Yade replied deadpan, arching a brow and forming a smirk. "As does Xelloss… and your fiancé…"

"WHAT!!!" Jarrek roared hopping to his feet enraged as an outraged Marissa shrieked. "YOUR fiancé!!!"

Yade smirked, catching Jarrek's annoyed and mildly terrified gaze before turning on her heel and leaving them to sort it out.

She had a game of strip poker to attend…

* * *

  
Filia arched a brow entering the billiard room, eyeing the dark violet walls and there posters of vineyards. The table in the center was a bitter violet, nearly magenta and she rolled her eyes, taking a seat in the chair Xelloss was pulling out for her.

"What are they doing here?" Filia asked perplexed, noticing Amelia and Zelgadiss sitting across from her as she took a seat next to him.

"Well, as it was obvious you'd be at a disadvantage I had them attend!" Xelloss replied cheerily. "To even your odds a bit!"

Filia blinked shaking her head. "Thanks… but I got that covered…"

Xelloss sweatdropped, muttering confused. "You keep saying that but I fail to see how you know anything about this game…"

"I don't…" She replied easily, relaxing in her seat. "But I do know you! And that's enough to beat you at your own game!"

Xelloss balked and turned quickly recovering as he felt a familiar presence… one not at all welcome…"

"Miss Sherrast!" Amelia yelled, in horror… glaring at her.

"So you finally show yourself…" Zelgadiss muttered, causing Xelloss who was about to say the exact statement to pout…

"Yes, yes!" Xelloss replied cheerily, getting over it and pulling out a chair for her as well… next to Zelgadiss! "And to what do we owe the pleasure?"

Sherrast arched a brow. "What do mean by that? You invited me."

Xelloss arched a brow of his own and shrugged. "Just making conversation, are you aware of what we're playing?"

Sherrast just looked at him and repeated "his" own words back at him. "A challenge of wits in the face of adversity…"

Xelloss grinned widely and chuckled. "Well I suppose that's as good a term for it as any!"

"XELLOSS!!!" An angery voice yelled, as a toppless, shoeless Jarrek crashed into the room, covered in red lipstick...

Sherrast and Xelloss both turned to the door, while Amelia and Zelgadiss looked the opposite way.

However before either of them could say anything witty, as many things had come to mind a soft, confused voice spoke up. "Jarrek?"

Jarrek turned pale, sweatdrops covering his entire head as all eyes turned on Filia.

"Wha… where… wha…" She fumbled weakly taking in his appearance, her eyes growing dark.

Quickly, brushing the sweatdrops out of his face Jarrek shook his head sadly. "Oh Fifi, I'm sorry you had to see me like this… you see there was this crazy receptionist…"

The other four went slack-jawed as Filia listened intently to Jarrek's tale of woe and love struck receptionist.

"I would have got away sooner if not for the leather straps…" He finished sadly, shaking his head. "It's just… I could really fight a girl… you know?"

Filia blinked, not quite sure she did know… but then Jarrek had seen Lina's temper or her own for that matter… and unless she was going to give him a taste right now, she was going to have to set this aside… besides… her hand weren't exactly clean right now as it was…

Jarrek smiled weakly, thinking the same as he stated sincerely. "And as soon as I escape I ran everywhere to find you, only to here that this monster!"

Xelloss narrowed his eyes, as Jarrek pointed an offensive lipstick marred finger at him. "Was attempting to defile you, in a game of strip poker!"

Amelia sunk deeper in her seat, and Zelgadiss banged his head into the table, as they shared a looked, sadly Xelloss' actions were slightly less lecherous… and that was saying something…

Filia smiled evenly. "Oh don't worry about that, sweetheart… I have it covered, you're welcome to stay and play if you want…"

Yade poked her head in just in time to hear that, and quickly withdrew it deciding to wait it out in her room.

Xelloss and the two mortals blinked at her… all three sharing equal thoughts of horror…

Jarrek grinned widely. "Oh I don't see why not!"

Xelloss and Zelgadiss shared a rare look of distaste as Xelloss quickly took a seat between Filia and Amelia, leaving Jarrek between his fiancé and Sherrast.

Jarrek looked over at Sherrast who smiled back at him serenely and realized he had no desire to see her nude…

"Alright!" Xelloss grinned happily, Jarrek's presence only a minor setback. "We have six players, nice odds…" _for me, anyway!_ "Let's get this game started!"


	23. Episode 023: Poker!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Three Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 023: Poker??************!**

**********

* * *

  
********Why I Barely Know Her!**  


* * *

In a room outside of existence Lina and Gourry slept blissfully unaware that in the violet billiard room, cards were being shuffled, looks were being made, tiny Grinmaster's were still unconscious, and the Lesser Beast was in a great mood!

"Oh dear…" He stated, taking in the sight of the cards he'd dealt himself. "I have to say, this doesn't look good for the rest of you!"

Zelgadiss blinked at him, he wasn't going to be frightened out of this.

"One card." He replied coolly, sliding the one he was ridding himself of to the monster.

Xelloss grinned cheerily. "Of course, Zelgadiss! I'm so glad you're playing, the game would have been over much quicker!"

Filia smirked. "That's what you think, namagomi! I'll hold my hand, it's perfect just the way it is."

Xelloss narrowed his brows in confusion while Jarrek blinked at his fiancé.

Finally the gold shook his head. "I fold, I don't have enough clothes to wager on this hand."

The others glowered at him, save Filia who looked pointedly back down at her hand a Sherrast who maintained her serene smile.

Amelia pursed her lips looking down at her own hand. It wasn't bad… and she couldn't let poor Mr. Zelgadiss go into this on his own… "Three cards please."

Xelloss nodded with a grin, giving her the three new ones, turning to Sherrast. "And what about _you_!"

Sherrast shook her head, her serene smile never fazing. "I'm afraid I don't understand this game at all, I'll just hold on to these, and see where it goes. They're only clothes after all."

The others blinked at her, while Jarrek made an unconscious gagging sound.

"Very well!" Xelloss replied easily turning to Amelia. "Call."

Amelia blinked at him, while Filia and Zelgadiss glared at him.

"What?" He asked cheerfully. "You have to show your hand sometime! Besides, we had no ante so you'll only loose clothes if you don't win the pot!"

"The pot?" Amelia blinked, understanding. "Oh I get it! You're saying that the clothes are the ante so whoever wins the hand, gets all the clothes!"

"Exactly!" He agreed, raising his finger with a grin.

"Just fold, Amelia." Zelgadiss whispered. "I can't stand the thought of not only _Xelloss_..." He ground out the name glaring at the monster, who ginned back at him cheerily. "... as well as that filthy piece of trash..." He glared at the gold who was eyeing the princess eagerly. "... to see you... you..." His cheeks flushed, Lokkin's tittering echoing in his head as he trailed off, unable to finish.

Amelia smiled shyly, noting the blush on his cheeks as she always did, after all it was the one sign he let slip that he found her in anyway attractive. She looked at her hand again, taking his opinion into consideration and shaking her head quickly. "I'm sorry Mr. Zelgadiss, but this hand is simply too good! And it would simply be unjust to just sit on it like this!"

"Amelia!" Zelgadiss stated in awe as she hopped atop the card table, Justice shining bright in her eyes, Justice Finger extended.

The chimera and the others sweatdropped. _So much for a poker face..._

Xelloss stared at her, blandly appraising her with closed eyes before turning back to Zelgadiss. "And you Zel, is you hand... _Just_!"

"I'm in." He glared, fanning in his cards and crossing his arms, challenging the monster to continue this banter.

Xelloss arched a brow and turned to Sherrast, a snide grin forming. "And you?! I'm afraid going any further will be unfortunate for you!"

"Moreso for us." Jarrek muttered under his breath causing Zelgadiss and Xelloss to glare at him... the glare far more intimidating coming from Zelgadiss, Xelloss just looked bored... and he probably was...

Sherrast smiled serenely. "Not to worry, Beast-Priest. I'm confident in this hand."

Xelloss just shook his head, rounding on Filia. "And you, Filia?! Feeling confident enough to go on?! Think you can beat me?!"

Filia smiled cheerfully. "My hand's still perfect the way it is!"

Xelloss grinned back. "Oh my! Well I'm certainly in! Let's show our hands then!"

The five displayed their hands, as Jarrek awaited on end to see what the result would be... sadly he found himself hopping that the blue haired old bag next to him won this one... and all of them for that matter.

"Well, well!" Xelloss grinned, appraising the cards before him. "Amelia, three tens! Your hand's even better than Zel's two pair!"

Zelgadiss looked at the tiny princess in shock. "That was a good hand!"

"Naturally." She nodded, her royal pride taking control. "You really should have more faith in me Mr. Zelgadiss."

Zelgadiss smiled softly. "My apologies, Amelia. I'll trust you next time, it's obvious you don't need my advice."

Amelia beamed at him, her smile softening shyly. "But it's always appreciated."

Xelloss ginned moving on to Sherrast. "Oh dear... a five of clubs, the three of hearts, an ace, a jack, and the two of spades... I'm afriad you lost this one, how very unforutnate!"

"Esspesically for us..." Jarrek muttered, earning another bored look from Xelloss, and of course a deathglare from Zelgadiss.

Xelloss beamed turning on Filia. "And look at this two queens with an ace kicker! Not bad at all Filia, unfortunately..."

He grinned directing a hand to his cards, fanning them out smoothly. "The strait takes it!"

Zelgaidss glared at him as Amelia hung her head. "You cheated."

"Not at all!" Xelloss replied smoothly. "You all had excellent hands, mine was simply better! However, it does seem I'm quite lucky doesn't it?! I didn't even need to trade in a single card!"

Zelgadiss and Jarrek glared at him, although Jarrek was just upset that he couldn't have delt Sherrast a better hand.

"All right!" He continued cheerily, beaming at Filia. "Hand them over!"

Filia glared at him, taking off her cape and tossing it at him.

Xelloss grinned catching it easily. "And the rest of you?!"

Amelia blinked sadly, pulling loose her own cape. Zelgadiss followed in suit, glaring at him.

"Thank you!" Xelloss replied easily, stuffing them under the table, before turning to Sherrast. "And you, _monk_?"

Sherrast shrugged serenely, pulling off her robe and tossing it at him. Jarreks eyes widened in horror and he stiffled a scream, tearing his eyes away and staring hard at... any where! Such tiny leather... so much to see... oh gods...

Xelloss blinked, it flying by him and landing on the floor as the others stared at her, perturbed.

"Right!" Xelloss said, recovering quickly and taking his seat, picink up the deck. "On to round two!"

Filia shook her head eyeing the cards she'd been delt, this hand was horrible... but why fold when she had such a brilliant plan in play. "I like my hand just the way it is!"

Xelloss shook his head, knowing his hand made it hopeless for Filia to beat him.

"My, my! What do you know!" Xelloss replied cheerily. "Same here."

"Explian why we didn't swich dealers?" Zelgadiss asked darkly.

"Because I rented the room!" Xelloss stated cheerily, raising a finger. "So we play by my rules! Why, disappionted with your hand, Zel?!"

Zelgadiss glared at him, pushing two cards at him. "Two cards."

Xelloss smirked, giving him the new ones and collecting the old before turning to Amelia. "And you, Amelia?"

The princess bit her lip eyeing her cards and shook her head sadly, placing them face down on the table. "These won't do at all. I'm sorry, but I have to fold."

"Don't worry, Amelia." Zelgadiss replied kindly. "I got this round."

"Okay! Right!" Amelia beamed at him nodding her faith as Xelloss turned to Jarrek, arching a brow.

Jarrek glared at his hand, which was surprisingly good yet with so few cltohes...

"I fold..." He sighed, flipping his cards over and practilly finging them a Xelloss.

"Such a shame!" He replied collecting them and turning to Sherrast. "And you?"

Sherrast shrugged serenely. "It appears that I still haven't grasped the whole concept of the game, I'll hold this hand and see if it fairs better."

"Here's hoping..." Jarrek muttered darkly, earning the usual glare.

"Very well then!" Xelloss replied sitting back and setting the deck aside, picking up his hand. "Call!"

Filia beamed, displaying her hand proudly. "Ace high."

"Fifi!" Jarrek declared in annoyance. "That's a terrible hand!"

Filia smiled sweetly. "Isn't it?"

Xelloss arched a brow and shook his head with a grin. "Oh dear! Filia, I'm not quite sure where you're going with this, but it's certainly entertianing!"

Filia smirked sticking her tonge out at him as she placed her boots on the table, one at a time. "Well I guess you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?!"

Xelloss blinked and shrugged, collecting the boots, adding them to his collection under the table and rounding on the chimera. "And you Zel! Obviously my hand was better than that... but maybe you'll present a challenge!"

Zelgadiss smirked, revealing his hand. "This time I have the striat, Xelloss."'

"Oh, Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cred happily, causing the chimera to puff up in pride.

"So you do!" Xelloss agreed, smirking snidely as he revealed his own hand. "But it seems my hand is better! Full House, Ace's and Queens... pity seems Filia stole my four of a kind! But this will do just as well!"

Zelgadiss glared at him tossing his gloves at him outraged. "You are so cheating!"

Xelloss girned. "Oh come now! Why would I do that?!"

He picked up the gloves, turning to Sherrast. "And you! Getting the hang of this yet?!"

Sherrast shrugged, displaying her hand.

"Oh my!" Xelloss beamed as Jarrek stared in horror at her cards. "One pair! Well you beat Filia's hand this round, however..."

Sherast scooted the cards to him, standing up and displaying no modesty as she placed a leg on the table, loosening one sandle, followed by the next as Jarrek stared in horror, unable to look away.

"Why, oh why, couldn't Miss Yade be here?" Jarrek asked desperately, covering his face with his hands as he rocked back and forth. Do to this he missed the dark looks the three gave him, as well as the hurt and terribly confused look his finace cast him.

Xelloss noted it however, and darkened his look, collecting the sandals, and tossing them at him. "Here! Why don't you hang on to these Mr. Jarrek!"

Jarrek looked up in horror as they bounced off his face.

"Hey!" Filia cried, turning on him. "Don't throw things at my Finace!"

"Okay!" Xelloss stated to the others sitting back cheerily, ignoring her as she flew at him, only to miss as he sat and land on her face. "Onto the next round then!"

The cards were shuffled and Filia sat back down, glaring at him as he grinned back as he dealt them out.

Zelgadiss couldn't take it anymore and in fury he snatched the cards out of Xelloss' hands before he could finish. "That's it. I call misdeal, it's Amelia's turn to shuffle."

"Or I could deal!" Jarrek pleaded, casting a wary look at Sherrast's remianing clothes. "Please?!"

"Oh my!" Xelloss replied, gathering up the cards and shaking his head. "You really don't trust me, do you, Zelgadiss?!"

Zelgadiss glared pointedly at him, the answer obvious.

Xelloss sighed, handing Amelia the cards with a shrug. "How unfortunate, this will make things harder you know."

"What do you mean?!" Jarrek cried in fright and Xelloss just smirked back calmly, settling back into his chair.

Amelia bit her lip, shuffling the cards once more for good measure and then delt them out.

"Okay! What do you need?!" Amelia asked, sitting back down, and turning to the chimera. "Mr. Zelgadiss?"

Zelgadiss blinked at his hand, and sat back with a grin. "Nothing, this is prefect. Thanks Amelia."

Amelia blushed, turning away. "I didn't... heh! And what about you! Miss Sherrast!"

Serrast looked at the cards sagely, and handed one over. "I think this should do it."

Amelia blinked and handed her the card, turning to Jarrek. "And you Mr. Jarrek?"

Jarrek glared, tossing his cards at her. Eventually he'd have to loose the pants because this was just humiliating... until then. "I fold."

"Right!" Amelia breathed in relief turning to Filia. "And for you, Miss Filia?"

Filia smiled knowingly at an unwitting Xelloss. "What I have is fine, thank you! What about you namagomi! Not a winning hand this round?!"

"Hmm..." Xelloss replied blandly. "I don't know, acutually. Two cards please, Amelia!"

Zelgadiss grinned. "Not so easy now that Amelia's dealing, is it, Xelloss?"

"Oh I don't know about that." Xelloss replied cheerliy, looking up at the princess. "How about you, Amelia. Need anything?"

"Well..." Amelia murrmered, placing a finger to her lips. "If I'm dealer it's not really fair for me to call with the rest of you guys."

"Well... I mean..." Zelgadiss stammered, wanting to fight this logic but unable to come up with a _logical _counter-argument. "Well Xelloss..."

"Amelia must find her own morals, Zelgadiss!" Xelloss replied cheerily. "I mean I'm a monster, afterall. Certianly I'm not the ideal rolemodel!"

Zelgadiss glared at him while he grinned back.

"He's right!" Amelia replied, tossing her own cards atop of Jarrek's. "Now call!"

Zelgadiss glared at Xelloss, this hand now about more than his boots. "Four Aces... beat it, I dare you."

The rest of the table blinked at him and shook their heads, tossing their cards at a dumbstruck Amelia.

Sherrast blinked, looking at her hand. "Do you beat me, as well?"

Jarrek looked down at her hand and scoffed. "You don't even have a pair! I mean your high card is a ten of clubs for Cheefied sake!"

Sherrast shruged serenely stnading to her feet. "I'm afriad I really don't understand this game."

Jarrek stared in wide-eyed horror as she stood to her feet loosening that tiny leather flap... the only thing standing between his eyes and that tiny leather thong the flap barely concealed... and then there was no flap. Jarrek screamed, lurching his eyes away and falling off his chair. "No! Oh Gods! My eyes!"

The gang turned green, including Zelgadiss as Sherrast prepared to toss him his prise, causing Xelloss to grin. "No that's okay! Hey Jarrek needs more clothes! Why don't you give it to him!"

Jarrek stared at her in horror. "No! Please!"

His pleas were cut short as the flap hit in him in the face. He tore it off in anger. "Right! Well do to my _extra_ clothes! I am so going in next round!"

"Oh I'm afraid it doesn't work that way." Xelloss grinned with a shrug. "Sorry, my game, my rules."

Filia blinked at the three males... not sure who was acting more imaturally, she decied on Xelloss! (_naturally_) "And what about you, namagomi! Did Zelgadiss beat your hand as well!"

Xelloss grinned turning to her. "Why yes! Actually! And since we're all trading clothes! Why don't you take mine, Filia! Unless Zelgadiss wants it!"

"Oh no!" Zelgadiss replied waving his hands hastily. "You're the one interested in getting people naked here, not me. I don't want any trophies..."_ Well from you anyway..._

"You see, Filia!" Xelloss replied cherrily waving a hand cuasing his cape and shirt... as well as his sash to fade away and reappear in his hand. "So why don't you hold on to these for me!"

Filia turned scarlete, tearing her eyes away from his toned chest and balking at him. "You only lost one piece of clothing! Not your entire top half!"

Xelloss grinned, enjoying her embarrasment. "Oh dear! Don't you know, Filia! These aren't real clothes! Their all conected, via my mind! I'd take the bottoms too, but that wouldn't be fair now, would it!"

Filia blaked in silent oped-mouthed horror as he dropped the clothes in her lap. Thoughts of seeing Xelloss in nothing but his boxers running through her head... good gods... what if he went comando!

"Oh no! Filia!" Xelloss stated, cheerily catching her as she swooned, shkaing her by the shoulders. "No fainting, now! You still haven't paid up!"

Filia blinked, glaring at him weaily as he grinned back. She sighed standing up, placing her fingers to the buttons holding her skirt on.

Xelloss grinned in anticipation, his moment finally nigh!

Filia grined, despite herself, holding his thrilled gaze as she undid the buttons, slid the pink skirt down to reveal... another one!

"Wha... huh?" Xelloss stamered, cathing the skirt unconsiously as she tossed it at him with a smirk. "But..."

"It's your own fault, namgomi." Filia replied smugly, corrsing her arms and sitting back down in her chair. "Looks like I'll be winning this challenge, eh namagomi!"

Xelloss blinked at her. "But..."

"Well I'm still in this." Sherrast replied serenely, tearing everyones attention back to her. "I was challenge afterall, I can't let some dragon win."

Xelloss blinked at her, still not quite sure who had invited her but unable to let that slip. He was saved however as Jarrek squealed. "No! Please, no! Good sweet merciful gods, no!"

The gang turned to the terrified pleading dragon, and then all eyes... save his own of course, were on Xelloss. His eyes were on Filia.

"Hmm, it does look like this would be an impossible battle." He replied calmly, appraising the smug dragonness, a smug grin of his own forming as he arched a finger. "Alright! I got it! You tell me how much you liked seeing me with my shirt off, and I'll let this game end!"

Filia blinked at him in horror. "What! No!"

"Oh dear..." Xelloss murrmered shaking his head sadly. "If the game goes on like this you'll reduce everyone but yourself to the humility of being naked... in public!"

Zelgadiss glared at her warningly and Amelia looked pleadingly into her eyes. "Please, Miss Filia?"

Jarrek cast a terrified glance at the still serene Sherrast and the an even deeper pleading look at her. "Please, Fifi... for me..."

Filia narrowed her eyes. The oddness of having the dragon she was betrothed to pleading with her to complement another man's figure for him was not lost on her... nor was the fact that Xelloss' was far nicer than his...

In the end, she wasn't sure which of those two thoughts decied things for her, perhaps she didn't want to know...

Her breathing quickened as her eyes raked over his chest again taking it in... as far as human standards went it was quite nice. Not to muscular, not to weak either. Pale... but it fit him. She swallowed softly and Xelloss' smrik tighend darkly as he felt her emotions reak over him along with her eyes. She met his gaze, her eyes widening as took in his surprisingly open-eyed gaze... and the delight displayed within. He closed them slowly and gave his normal grin.

"Yare, yare." He replied easily, picking up his _winnings _and standing to his feet. "That'll do! Have a good night everone. Here you two!"

Zelgdiss glared at him as Xelloss tossed him his and Amelia's clothing. "Thanks for playing, it really was more fun with you here!"

He looked at the blue robe in his hand and supressed a shudder tossing it to Sherrast, opening hiseyes to glare at her as she let it float harmlessly by. "I suspect I'll be seeing more of you this trip... I would apprecaite if you didn't mess up my fun. I like my fun."

Sherrast just smlied that smile of her and Xelloss glared turning away in disgust.

"Hey!" Filia yelled, hopping to her feet. "What about _my_ clothes!"

Xelloss grinned arching a finger as he faded away. "If you want them, come get them. Me and Miss Yade are staying in room 319! We'd love the company!"

_**"Arrg! XELLOSS!!!"**_


	24. Episode 024: You Wanna Touch What!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Four Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 024: You Wanna Touch What?************!**

**********

* * *

  
********Farewell to the Phoenix!**

* * *

Zelgadiss sighed walking with Amelia back to their room; suddenly he turned with a start.

"Oh!" He realized, handing her cape and boots. "I almost forgot, here Amelia."

"Oh!" She replied, looking up from the still unconscious Lokkin and taking them gratefully. "Thank you Mr. Zelgadiss!"

Zelgadiss smiled before giving a resigned sigh. "You're welcome. You know what infuriates me the most about this whole thing, Amelia?"

Amelia bit her lip and shook her head nervously.

"The fact that the whole reason we went to Xelloss was for protection from Sherrast." He responded darkly, crossing his arms and pausing in the hall. "And then after apparently having invited her there, where she was able to see that we have Lokkin in our possession, he just leaves."

He growled, tightening his fist. "Typical Xelloss."

"I have to say you have him pegged there, funny Chimera man…" That serene voice replied as Sherrast faded into view directly behind him. She grinned as he jumped and responded by stabbing him through the back.

"**_Mr. Zelgadiss!!!_**"

* * *

  
"I just don't see why you're going to his room, Filia." Jarrek pouted, crossing his arms as they walked down the hall, Filia looking at the room numbers as they went.

"And I don't see why you're so obsessed with the Phoenix!" Filia replied biting down her fury, but only barely. "Even if I overlook the fact that it seems like your interests in her may be so forward as to be a betrayal of even myself, they are certainly a betrayal of our beliefs!"

She couldn't bring herself to believe he was disloyal, but he's behavior was more than questionable.

"And you playing strip poker with Xelloss, _the Xelloss_, isn't!" Jarrek replied shrilly.

Filia blinked at him, crossing her arms. "That's it. You can go back to your room, I don't need an escort."

"What?" Jarrek yelped, thrusting a finger at her accusingly. "Are you saying that you expect me to let you go to _his_ room, alone?!"

"I won't be alone…" She hissed, narrowing her eyes. "_Miss Yade_ will be there, and that's precisely why you won't be coming!"

"Ah, come now, Fifi!" Jarrek replied coolly. "Don't be jealous, you know you're the only one for me!"

Filia grinned sweetly. "Then prove it, do this for me Jarrek, for us!"

Jarrek bit his lip, weighing how much this meant to her against how little he trusted her.

"But what will I do till you get back?" He pouted. "Every minute you're with him will make me want to race back down here, bust down the door and defend your honor…"

Filia giggled. "Don't be silly! Besides, you could always find that Sherrast character and give her back those… things… of hers!"

Jarrek turned slightly ill at just the thought, but quickly put on a grin, happy the old Fifi he loved was back. That being the case, he fully intended to keep her here!

"That's a great idea, Fifi!" He declared sweetly, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her lightly on the head. "That's why I love you so much!"

Filia smiled, pushing him away. "And I love you because you're so sweet. Now let's hurry up and go our separate ways, so that we might return to each other real soon!"

"Real soon!" Jarrek echoed and Filia grinned heading in one direction as he turned and headed in another.

It then occurred to him, he hadn't the slightest idea where Sherrast was staying, was she even registered and if so, was Lokkin her "partner"? He shuddered at the thought and decided all this meant it was time to seduce another receptionist, and hopefully get some more answers…

* * *

  
Filia bit her lip, pausing outside room 319. Slowly, drawing in a deep breath she raised her hand to knock, it was then that she heard the conversation coming from the other side…  
"Is it not time that you showed it to me?" The soft female voice of Yade asked timidly.

"Showed you what?!" Was the witty reply from Xelloss, causing Filia to twitch instantly. Naturally leave it to Xelloss to try and evade the Phoenix!

"Do not fool around with me, you know what I want." Yade replied coolly and Filia nodded. _That's right! You tell that nasty monster!_

"Perhaps!" Was Xelloss' coy reply, causing Filia to bear her fangs at the door before catching herself quickly. She couldn't let her emotions let him know that she was here eavesdropping like this. He'd never let her live it down! "But that doesn't mean I have to give it to you!"

"You are afraid then, Xelloss?" Yade asked, and Filia nodded her agreement. "Afraid of what will happen when I touch it."

_Wait! What?!!!_ Filia blinked starring at the door in dumbstruck horror. _Touch it? Touch **what** exactly? Hey! What's going on here?!!_

"Afraid?!" Xelloss replied with a bored snort. "Hardly! I simply don't want to pull it out right now!"

Filia blinked at the door, her eyes widening and then blinking over and over. _No… no it can't be… there's no way…_

Filia swallowed softly, letting the fist she had raised to knock on the door drop to her side as she bit her lip, suddenly feeling as though a great weight had been heaved upon her.

Xelloss and Yade really were… no! She couldn't bear to admit it to herself. However, she couldn't really explain what had happened here any other way, now could she?

Not knowing what else to do she turned and ran, heading back to her room, leaving Xelloss' own clothes by the door as she fled.

* * *

  
Xelloss turned towards the door tasting _sadness_? Huh, that was odd…

He shrugged turning his attention back to Yade, crossing his arms. "I'm just not interested right now."

Yade arched a brow. "Too bad. Pull it out, I am afraid I am out of time."

Xelloss opened his eyes. "You mean, you're finished here?"

Yade smiled. "Alas, it is time I leave to see to other things. However, fear not, I know our paths shall cross again."

Xelloss pouted. "But who will I stab now?"

Yade narrowed her eyes darkly. "I am certain the Golden Dragon Jarrek would present a more than worthy outlet."

Xelloss grinned. "Ah yes, but Filia wouldn't like that very much. No, no! I must resist, tempting though it may be!"

Yade smiled. "You two, you have an _interesting_ relationship."

"Yes that would sum it up best!" Xelloss agreed, finally giving in and pulling out the black bag, pulling the blood red orb from it. "Here, if you say it's time, I suppose I have no choice!"

Yade reached for it slowly, wary of the painful vision that was sure to follow and then it was in her hands causing her to cry out as visions ran through her, past, present, future, all flowing in at once.

"Uhn…" She groaned, tossing it aside, and collapsing to the floor clutching her head. "It is as I feared, Sherrast is…"

"Yes?" Xelloss probed, open-eyed and feeling no concern for her state.

"She is… complicated…" Yade stated, raising her head pain evident in her emerald orbs.

"Complicated?" Xelloss repeated, mildly annoyed at the cryptic answer.

"Yes." Yade agreed, slowly rising to her feet. "I fear… I cannot tell you more beyond that… out of my own safety…"

"What?!" Xelloss sputtered. "_Your_ safety?! What about the safety of this world?! How about _my _safety?!"

Yade smiled coolly. "I care not for the safety of this world, nor any of the others. I am simply here to ensure what the Golden Lord desires, comes to pass. I am here to preserve the future, so do not fret monster. If it is in your future to survive, so shall you."

"But you said you couldn't tell the future where Sherrast was concerned!" Xelloss whined. "So how can you say that?!"

Yade smiled coyly. "That _was_ true, alas you have let me touch the orb, and now I know all."

Xelloss glared at her, his open eyes dark. He felt tricked and he wasn't liking it one bit.

"And you stand by your decision not to share this information?" He asked sharply.

"You know I cannot…" Yade replied calmly.

"Then get out of here…" Xelloss replied, his bangs cloaking his eyes in darkness.

Yade arched a brow gracefully and then let them fall, nearly saddened, and then she disappeared in a flash of emerald light, leaving Xelloss alone and unfortunately… afraid…

This changed things… his Mistress wouldn't like this…

* * *

  
Zelgadiss groaned sitting up and tasting oil… as well as leather. It was then he realized he was gagged… as well as bound. Quickly he opened his eyes to take in the sight of the terrified princess sitting beside him, in the same state. He attempted to talk, fear for her safety immediately over taking him. It was then that the pain lanced through his chest causing him to groan.

"Now, now, little chimera man!" Sherrast stated serenely, her icy blue shards betraying her mirth. "Stay still! Be good and I'll let the princess heal you and then you can go! Afterall it was Lokkin who got you into this, and once he's awake!"

Sherrast smiled serenely. "Well, we'll see if he's willing to get you out of this!"


	25. Episode 025: Pancakes and Gloom!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Five Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 025: Pancakes and Gloom?************!**

**********

* * *

  
********Who Needs Seconds?!!**

* * *

Lina sighed blinking awake and peering over the side of the bed at the contently sleeping swordsman.

"Morning, Gourry." She yawned.

"Food?" Gourry asked questioningly, popping up and looking at her.

Lina grinned hopping out of the bed. "Race ya!"

* * *

  
Filia glared at the ceiling darkly, ignoring the sunlight pooling into the room from the small window. Last night she had been in shock, this morning, after having all night to think about it, she was outraged.  
He fiancé was snoring beside her, just as he had been when she came in last night, wanting desperately to talk to someone. She glared at him, turning back to glaring at the ceiling with a huff.

With an irritated growl she stood to her feet, briefly feeling a pang of sadness for her missing cloak and skirt, then she left.

Today she could really use some rest and relaxation…

Jarrek popped up at the sound of the door closing, a swarmy grin adorning his features.

"If Fifi's stressed, then she's off to see the masseuse!" He tittered with vile glee. "And in that case, so am I!"

* * *

  
"Good morning you two…" Cruz stated in a melancholy tone as he pulled out a set of chairs for them.  
"Hey!" Gourry asked, noting his gloom ridden expression. "What's wrong with you? You're normally so chipper… or shocked… or something…"

Lina arched a brow, and decided to go along with it, If it was important to Gourry. "Is it a girl?"

Cruz shook his head sadly.

"Are you hungry?" Gourry offered kindly.

Lina batted him on the head as Cruz shook his head again.

"Money problems?" Lina offered sincerely.

Cruz shook his head again. "No, I finally have all the money I need, and more, but I still can't have what I want."

Lina nodded sympathetically. "I know just how you feel. No matter how much money I acquired I could never buy a Claire Bible manuscript. And what's worse, the one time I did get to see it, I was being chased by Gavv the Demon Dragon King, so I only got to ask it about defeating Gavv, their was so much more I wanted to know, you know? And now this one's going to Zelgadiss…"

Gourry stared as Lina joined Cruz in his blue cloud of gloom and rolled his eyes.

"Hey! Lina!" He stated shaking her, but to no avail. "Come on, Lina! Snap out of it!"

"I mean it's the only Robin Eggs Blue rabbit in the world, as far as I can tell…" Cruz whined sullenly. "And all I've ever wanted was a jacket made from one, and now there's one on this ship but I can't seem to find it! And that physic woman seems to have disappeared!"

Gourry and Lina starred at him, Gourry's hands still in shaking position on Lina's shoulders.

"A Robin Eggs Blue, rabbit skin coat?" They echoed.

"Well it can't be very warm." Gourry stated rationally as Lina just continued to stare at Cruz.

"Wait!" She cried catching onto something else he'd said. "Did you say Yade was gone?"

Cruz nodded, sinking to floor, causing the other tables to stare. "Yes, it's all fell apart."

Lina and Gourry shared a look, and then rolled their eyes.

"Hey Cruz!" Lina yelled.

"Yes?" He asked questioningly.

"Pull yourself together." She ordered, crossing her arms in disgust. "You're a waiter, now wait!"

"R… right!" He replied, hopping to his feet and reading his peacock quill. "For the lady?"

Lina grinned. "Pancakes! Lots and lots of pancakes! And some pomegranate juice! A whole pitcher of it."

"And for the gentleman?" Cruz asked, not batting an eye at the absurd request.

"I'll have the same!" Gourry replied easily.

"Right away." Cruz replied heading away.

"Hey, Lina…" Gourry asked cautiously. "Isn't this a buffet?"

Lina smirked. "Why yes is Gourry, But I really didn't want to hear about him wanting to skin Lokkin and make him into a coat before I eat my breakfast."

"Ah." Gourry nodded, before looking at her confused. "Wait, who's Lokkin?"

"Ow! Lina!"

* * *

  
Filia sighed wandering over to the receptionist desk, taking in the mascara stained, and red rimmed eyes of the receptionist.  
"Oh." Filia murmured sadly. "I'm sorry, but I was coming to get a massage."

"Let me guess." She sated morosely. "Man troubles?"

Filia nodded sadly and the receptionist through her head back and choked out a laugh and a sob. "You and me both, sister. Here, just take it."

Filia gave a weak smile, taking the room key from her. "Thank you, I hope it works out."

The receptionist this time let out a snort and a sob. "Not likely, he never told me he was engaged…"

Filia looked sadly down at the bawling receptionist and patted her gently on the back. "And I though Xelloss was bad. You poor thing."

Filia grinned, standing back. "You know what you need?"

The receptionist looked weakly up at her, shaking her head sadly.

Filia's grin widened as she pulled out her mace hugging it to her face, as the receptionist watched in stunned awe. "One of these! This way you can keep them in line!"

"What's your name?" Filia asked, commandingly.

"M… Marissa…" She replied, still in awe. How did she lift that thing?

"Well, Marissa." Filia stated, handing her a card. "This is my shop. Jilias and Gravos are watching the original branch. I want you to stop in when you get a chance. We have plenty of these, and the nicest pottery, I made it myself!"

Marissa nodded weakly and Filia smiled, giving a little wave and turning away. "Nice to meet you, Marissa!"

Marissa stared at the card blankly. "Did she just hit on me?"

Marissa smiled to herself, tucking the card away. She'd definitely stop in and check out this shop!

* * *

  
Xelloss chuckled, watching the scene, his masseuse outfit and… accessories… already in place.  
"Ah, just the woman I was looking for." The would be suave voice of Jarrek stated from behind, him.

"Who me?" Xelloss asked in his affected feminine tone, turning to veiw the sleazy dragon as he pointed to himself warily. _Oh dear… well now I know this disguise is good!_

"Yes you." He stated, coolly, meeting Xelloss' closed eyes, which were rolling as he spoke. "I'm afraid we haven't met… yet… And I was hoping to rectify that."

Xelloss arched a brow, letting out a feminine titter. "Oh my! You are bold!"

Jarrek grinned, puffin out his chest. "I have been told."

Xelloss tittered again a mischievous smirk forming. "Say! I have an idea, why we get to know each other more over one of my special massages!"

Jarrek grinned. "That's sounds… lovely."

* * *

  
"Say, Lina." Gourry sated through a mouthful of pancakes. "Wouldn't Amelia and Zelgadiss be here by now?"  
"You're right, Gourry." Lina agreed through her own mouthful of pancakes, taking a big swig of her pomegranate juice to wash it down. "Huh, you know. Something doesn't sit right with that too me."

Gourry swallowed, meeting her dark gaze. "Me either."

Lina nodded, his agreement being all she needed. "Let's go check it out."

* * *

  
"Right this way, Big boy!" Xelloss ushered, Jarrek entering the room before him as Xelloss locked the door.  
"Now lie down!" He coached gently, his feminine tone seductively airy.

"Ah so you like to lead you?" Jarrek commented, pulling off his shirt and his pants boldly, causing Xelloss' smile to tighten slightly. "That's all right, I like a woman who knows what she wants."

"Oh my!" Xelloss stated, cheerily, pulling some leather straps out of no where. "Then you're really going to like this! Now on the bed you!"

Jarrek grinned lying back as Xelloss twirled one of the straps seductively. "Now put your hands above your head!"

Jarrek nodded eagerly, placing both hands back as far they would go as Xelloss wandered around the back of the bed to meet them, fasting each one to something the dragon couldn't see, something in his mistress' palace.

"Now the feet!" Xelloss stated cheerily.

Jarrek nodded eagerly, pointing his toes as far as they would go as Xelloss also tied them to the same place, physics wouldn't be allowing Jarrek's escape anytime soon.

"Okay!" Xelloss finished, his grin nearly giving him away. "Now I have to go grab some _special _oil! I'll be right back!"

Jarrek let out a pleased snort. "Oh! You are amazing!"

"I know!" Xelloss chimed cheerily, closing the door behind him.

He grinned staring at the door across from him. "And now it's your turn Filia."


	26. Episode 026: Side Quests May Apply!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Six Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 026: Side Quests May Apply?************!**

**********

* * *

  
********It's Not What You Say! It's How You Say It!!  
**

* * *

"Wha…" Lina gasped in horror taking in the chocolate covered walls before her. "What happened here?"

"Stony, loves, short women?" Gourry read aloud blinking down at Lina. "I don't get it."

Lina grinned warily, running a hand through her hair. "You know for once Gourry, I'm with you."

"That's not good." Gourry replied nervously. "That means whatever is going on here is real bad."

Lina grinned and gave a nod. "Maybe, but it's our duty to look into it!"

She rubbed her hands together greedily. "And collect the award from Amelia, that'll await us should we save her."

Gourry shook his head, unable to withhold a grin. "You know something, Lina…"

Lina turned to look up at him. "What is it, Gourry?"

Gourry smiled shyly, causing Lina to swallow nervously, waiting on edge, but then…

"Did you hear that horrible noise coming up the stairs?" A lady holding a tiny dog asked her husband snootily.

"Yes. It was positively awful." He drawled in reply.

"You should have a word with this _Mr. Garson_." She ordered darkly. "That kind of ruckus is unacceptable."

She stroked her dog's fur gently and he yipped in response. "It was agonizing for poor Chestnut here, wasn't it pookums?"

Lina winced as they strolled by and whispered under her breath. "Not nearly as agonizing as being called two horrible names in one sentence, lady. Yikes! Poor dog."

Gourry glared at them and then turned determinedly to Lina. "So, the staircase then?"

"You got it, Gourry." Lina nodded and he pulled free his sword.

* * *

  
Filia sighed softly, closing her eyes as she lay down on the matted bed, her towel covering anything indecent, a fact she was glad for as her tail had popped out _three _times today!

And they day had just begun!

Oh it was Xelloss! That foul little… see! There it went again, this was beyond irritating.

She swallowed, biting off her fury and concentrating to will her tail back away before her masseuse arrived. Ahh! There we go! Now just don't think of…

"Oh my!" A feminine titter cut into her next thought, thankfully. "How lovely to see you again, dear!"

Filia smiled despite herself, secretly glad to hear that familiar, yet, _very_ strange voice.

"You too…" She replied cheerfully, turning her head to the side to view that smiling face, so very much like... Xel-"Xella Ose."

"What's wrong?" Xelloss asked instantly, just barley raising his voice high enough to pull it off in the end.

He turned away quickly, wincing despite himself. "I mean! You seem tense! Engagement troubles?"

He winced again, squirting some lotion on his bare hands, he hoped to her that didn't sound nearly as hopeful as it did to him… but that look in her eyes… he didn't want to be…

"No." She replied with a haughty grunt, causing him to glare at the wall darkly as he squeezed a little bit harder on the oil tube then necessary. He knew that tone.

"Oh?!" He asked, attempting to mask his irritation, a twitch or two still escaping. "And what did I… I mean _he_ do this time?!"

Filia blinked up at him, too confused to notice the obvious Xelloss reactions before her. "How… how did you know who I was talking about?"

Xelloss fought the urge to roll his eyes as he grinned with feminine knowing, a look he'd seen on Lord Beastmaster many times. "Your tone, _dear_. You always use a version of the same tone when you talk about… _him_."

Filia blinked taken aback, and glared at her. "I do not!"

Xelloss rolled his eyes inwardly, smiling wide outwardly as Xella gave a little shrug. "Suit yourself! For now it's massage time!"

Filia grinned despite herself and lay back down softly, her face sinking into the pillow.

She closed her eyes and Xelloss opened his, taking in the sight of her exposed back and his hands touching it.

"Do I really?" She asked muffled, and he closed his eyes quickly, unable to keep the twitch out of his voice as he rolled them inwardly.

"Really."

* * *

  
Lina covered her ears with a wince. "What is it?!" She cried in horror, glaring at the door marked **_Maintenance_** before them.  
Gourry grinned back at her directing the notes with his fingers as he hollered back. "It's singing! Can't you tell?! This range! It's fantastic!"

"And the award for yet _another_ useless talent goes to Gourry." Lina stated to herself dryly, shaking her head with grudging admiration.

* * *

  
At first when the tiny Grinmaster had awoken, the chimera had been secretly overjoyed.

Especially when he had immediately hopped up and began threatening Sherrast and even better, had actually gotten her to pale

However, now he could see why… and he would've paled too.

His sensitive ears were outraged and he glared at Sherrast, at least able to take solaces in the fact that she was suffering far worse than him.

He braved a look at Amelia and was horrified to see she was humming along, he gaped in shock, a grudging smile of amusement crossing his tone features.

Lokkin noticed too and replicated ten Grins to take his place, causing Sherrast to scream in agony as he hopped cheerily over to Amelia, offering her his paw and tugging for her to join in.

Amelia looked at the chimera who shrugged, attempting to keep the wince out of his gaze as she joined in, adding her own words.

* * *

  
"So what's he done, this time?" Xelloss tried again, twitching at his own insulting tone, _which_ he was being forced to use on _himself_. It was beyond mocking, it was just plain and simple masochism.

He'd never really thought about the affects that sort of tone must have on an opponent until now, huh.

Now that he knew, he knew just how to make it even more cutting, but he save that for later.

Filia glared at the towel, the image of a certain purple-haired mazoku stealing her mind away from the massage. "He slept with someone he knew better than to sleep with."

_I did?!!!_ Xelloss asked himself, perturbed. _Why wasn't I informed of that?!!Then I could have enjoyed it!_

Xelloss grinned wanly, holding in a chuckle. "Really? That's a new development, who, if I might ask did he sleep with that was so taboo?"

_After all! I might need to know for bragging rights! Or.. claims of being taken advantage of… _

Filia bit her lip unsure how to proceed. She didn't want to scare her… "Well, let's just say she's a person I really respect, and well he's _supposed_ to really respect her too…"

"Her name, dear?" Xelloss prodded delicately, although he was pretty sure he already knew.

Filia bit her lip again but reasoned that it was probably okay. "Miss Yade."

Xelloss held in a snort opting to roll his eyes instead.

"Hmm…" He replied. "But your not interested in him, right?!"

"I hate him!" Filia spat, glaring at his image in her mind. "Every time I look at him I just want to… arrgh!"

Xelloss glared down at the whiny dragoness. "Well then! That's settled! Why would you care who he slept with? Unless you want to sleep with him it doesn't matter does it?!"

Filia blinked and whispered in horror. "You think I'm jealous!"

"Well…" Xelloss prodded softly, a smug smirk on his face. "Aren't you?!"

* * *

  
"Hey!" Gourry declared proudly. "I know this song!"  
Lina blinked at him. "You… you do?!"

"Yeah!" He replied clearing his throat and singing a line ending with a tenor harmony of "_That's why life's so wonderful_!"

"Wow, Gourry." Lina stated, impressed despite herself. "That was pretty good!"

He grinned cheerfully. "Thanks Lina!"

Lina giggled and turned to the door. "Stand back Gourry, we don't know what we're gonna find on the other side…"

She narrowed her gaze reading her talismans.

"_Lord of darkness of the four worlds, grant me all the power that you posses…_"

The talismans lit up and she narrowed her gaze determinedly. "Here we go…"

"_Lord of the dreams that terrify. Sword of cold and darkness, free yourself from the heaven's bonds. Become one with my power, one with my body, and let us walk the path of destruction together. Power that can smash even the souls of the gods: Ragna Blade_!"

Lina grinned, holding it steady with ease. She smirked wanly, she was getting used to this, finally.

"Stand back!" She yelled though the door and gave a grunt, cleaving it away.

* * *

  
"Get down!" Zelgadiss ordered, hearing the sorceress' cry and lunged, pinning Amelia beneath him as the black energy priced through the door, as well as the back of the ship.

The grins paid no notice as the continued their serenade, Sherrast still screaming all the way. 

* * *

Filia glared, rolling off the bed and hopping hurriedly to her feet, holding her towel to her self with one hand while the other pointed accusingly at _Xella_.

Her tailed popped out in full force, echoing the finger.

"How dare you!" Filia yelped. "I come here to relax and each time you get me just as worked up as he does!"

Xelloss crossed _her_ arms smoothly. "Well maybe he's right then too. You never did answer the question."

"I don't have too!" She declared irritably, clenching her fists, fire in her eyes. "You don't have a right too know!"

"Well then how about, answering it for me then, Filia." Xelloss asked coolly, dropping his act and opening his eyes. "How does that suit you?"

Filia gasped in horror, and the ship lurched throwing her across the room.

Xelloss caught her easily and bore his amethyst gaze down into her. "Well, Filia? Are you jealous or not? It's really a simple question! Or how about this one, how relieved are you to know that it's all in your head, last night the only action I got was getting royally screwed-over… when Miss Yade refused to tell me the vision she saw when she touched the blood orb."

He smirked at the horrified yet completely relieved look in her naive sapphire orbs. "Look at that, relief, eh Filia? So now that I've proven that point, tell me you're not jealous."

He grinned down at her and Filia swallowed dryly, realizing how close they were, the flimsy towel barely any separation at all…

It was then that it dawned on her that he had pretended to be her masseuse twice and taken a mud bath with her, not to mention she'd actually found herself liking this _Xella Ose_! I mean how stupid of a name was that? And she'd taken it all in! Suckered by this… this…

Xelloss felt the hatred radiating off of her in waves and swallowed dryly, sweatdropping fiercely. "F…Filia?"

"**I'm not _jealous_**…" She snarled, glowing gold, her eyes narrowing into ember slits. "**I'm** **_FURIOUS_!!!**"

"Um…" Xelloss asked nervously, still holding her shoulders as he apprised her. "Your not going to transform… here, are you?!"

Filia roared in response and Xelloss winced. "Oh dear, I was afraid of that…"

In retrospect he could have stopped her, could have teleported them both away somewhere else even. However, besides having a strong suspicion that the hull below them had already been breached, he found he really didn't want too…

After all! It was so much more amusing this way!


	27. Episode 027: Going Down With the Ship!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Seven Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 027: Going Down With the Ship?************!!**

**********

* * *

  
********Oh No! Three Hits Too Many!  
**

* * *

The man in the cloak groaned, standing up from the table in outrage.  
He had tried _all _night, and _all_ morning to win back the gold that blond guy had lost him and he was actually _three_ times further in debt…

…plus breakfast…

"That does it!" He cried, hopping on the table and glowing scarlet. "I am going to end this right here and now!"

The guest watched in stunned horror as he hopped down and dashed with a mad cackle into the unisex bathroom.

Shrugging to themselves, they turned back to their games.

* * *

  
"Miss Lina!" Amelia cried, hopping up and running over to wrap the sorceress in a bear hug. "You saved us!"  
Gourry chuckled and walked over to the chimera's side as he pulled himself out of the wreckage, each of them watching the scene in bemusement.

Amelia hugging Lina, Lina gasping for air… turning blue… so on…

"What's that sound?" Zelgadiss asked, looking over at the unconscious Sherrast… Lokkin was standing triumphantly on her head. "It's not her, she's out cold."

Gourry leaned over, and stuck his finger in a crack. "I think it's the water rushing trough this hole…"

"What?!!!" Came the screamed replies from the girls and the chimera.

Lokkin grinned. "Stony's gonna get soaked! I bet he sinks!"

"You'll sink first!" Zelgadiss replied icily yanking free his sword and chasing the laughing bunny down the hall.

"Miss Lina…" Amelia murmured nervously. "We're gonna sink, aren't we?"

"Yep!" She replied cheerily. "Sure looks that way!"

"Um, Lina?" Gourry asked perplexed, his finger still plugging the hole. "Why do you sound so happy about it?"

"I'm not, Gourry!" She replied easily. "But I expected this to happen some time during this trip. And currently, we're rich! So let's go get our gold and commandeer a lifeboat!"

"Miss Lina…" Amelia scolded, her eyebrows narrowing. "I'm not quite sure that's ethical. We have a duty to tell them about the hole in the ship."

Lina giggled nervously, grabbing the back of her head with a sweatdrop. "Yeah, about that. You don't think they might hold us responsible, what with us winning so much of their money, and then sinking their boat…"

"Say…" Gourry asked, sticking his other index finger in a new leak above the old. "You don't think they noticed your crest, do ya Amelia? I don't think Phil would be too happy about this."

Lina grinned as Amelia blanched, appreciating Gourry's simple wit. "Yeah, say Amelia? You don't think this could be viewed as an act of war on this vessel from Saillune, do you? What is the precedent from such an act?"

"What act?" Amelia replied quickly, sweatdropping profusely and looking around shiftily. "Say weren't we going to go… commandeer… some life boats?"

Lina nodded as Gourry attempted to dam up yet another leak… to no avail. "Alright then! Let's go, Gourry!"

"But, Miss Lina!" Amelia interjected grabbing the sorceress' arm and pointing as a blur of blue and gray whizzed by. "What about them?"

Lina shook her head, greed in her eyes. "Gold first. They'll find us, both of them are _way_ to attached to you to not follow us."

"To attached?" Amelia asked blinking and looking away embarrassed. "Miss Lina, what are you saying?"

Lina blinked, and shook her head dryly. "Nothing, Amelia. Nothing."

"Say Lina…" Gourry asked, still trying to hold back the flood. "What should we do about her?"

He nodded down to Sherrast and Lina gave him a pointed look.

"Oh right." Gourry agreed, pulling free his hands and running one of them through his bangs sheepishly. "Monster's don't drown."

Lina and Amelia could on the other hand, and currently they were staring with wide-eyed horror at the spiderweb of cracks that was widening behind him, along with the four jets of water currently shooting out, right on Sherrast's face.

"G… Gourry!" Lina yelped and Amelia let out a little moan, the two of them clutching hands as they backed away towards the door.

"Huh?" Gourry asked, worried, whenever Lina was scared, he was always worried. "Lina? What's…"

There was a series of loud cracks and Gourry turned towards the wall, a look of knowing dread on his face… this didn't go unmissed by Lina who nearly cracked a grin before she remembered her own postition.

"Oh…" Whatever he was about to say next was cut short as the water rushed though, pushing him into them, and all three into the hall, just in time to slam into a blur of blue and gray.

* * *

  
"XELLOSS!!!" Roared the dragon, blowing laser-breath down across the top of the boat where Xelloss had headed. "**XELLOSS!!!** YOU GET BACK HERE!!!"  
Filia roared again and Xelloss let out a titter as the screaming patrons ran away, heading blindly away, down the stairs and over the edge in life boats, or sometimes not at all.

Xelloss grinned open-eyed at the horror below.

"Oh Filia!" He sang loudly, turning her attention to the stern, and the captain screamed, jumping overboard.

"**XELLOSS!!!**"

* * *

  
"Haha!" The man in the cloak declared, exiting the bathroom with a flourish and landing swiftly on the billiard table. "Avast, I say!"

The patrons blinked staring at him… their faces now dawning with horror.

Gone was his battered cloak, and in it's place a lace shirt, leather vest, and poofy pants.

He also had the armory of an army of lizard men… portable cannon to boot.

He grinned manically. "Yes! Your are correct in your fear! It is I! The Dread Pirate Sullivan!"

He laughed again and the gentleman and ladies let out moans of anguished horror.

Mr. Garson… who found himself dealing with two very snobby passengers… and their tortured dog blinked once, grabbed Cruz by the wrist and thrust him in his place… as he turned and dashed away back into his little booth, slamming several doors between him and the pirate.

Cruz and the other passengers sweatdropped… Chestnut used this opportunity to gain his freedom… biting that horrible woman on his way down.

Sullivan blinked and then fired a shot into the ceiling. "Aye! Well then… um…"

"Prepare to be boarded?" Cruz offered wistfully and Sullivan blinked making eye contact.

"By the sea, can it be?" He whispered in awe and Cruz rolled his eyes, turning to the side coolly.

"Oh I don't know, father?" He replied with a feigned pout. "Could it be that your only son, who you though not blood thirsty enough to be a pirate ended up working at the very casino that appears to have driven you out of retirement?! Well, yes! I suppose it is!"

Just then Lina and the gang brushed past them, soaking wet but by no means any odder than what the passengers had already witnessed today.

"Excuse me!" She cried angrily, darting quickly over to the stairs. "Coming though!"

Cruz sighed, turning away, here… faced with his long lost father… even the prospect of a robin egg's blue fur coat couldn't tear him away from his memories…

_I wanna join the circus… pirates don't join the circus…_

Ah yes, such a tragic past he had endured.

"Dragon!" The passengers screamed running across the room the exact opposite way Lina and Co had come. "Run for your lives!"

The passengers in the main room were in a full case of stunned shock at this point so blandly they turned their attention back to the bizarre father and son reunion.

Sullivan rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Actually… if you wanna know the truth… I came here to find _you_ but then that damn swordsman…"

Suddenly it dawned on him… that blond guy with that angry red head who had just ran past them…

"It was him!" He growled throwing his fist into the air, shooting off two more shots into the ceiling. "Arr! Prepare to be boarded indeed!"

Their came a smash and twelve pirates crashed in through the windows.

Cruz rolled his eye in disgust, typical dad… always getting so wrapped up in work that he didn't even…

"You coming, son?" Sullivan asked, offering him the pistols. "I believe I saw a flash of Robin's Egg Blue you might fancy, hmm?!"

"Father?!" Cruz whispered in awe, taking the pistols he was being offered. "You remembered… my one true dream."

"Aye." Sullivan nodded, pulling loose his saber. "Now let's go skin us some blond and blue hides!"

The pirates roared in agreement and Cruz met his father's cool gaze, tears in his eyes.

"I love you… father…" He whispered and Sullivan grinned, wrapping him and big bear hug… uncomfortable and quite manly as they hadn't put down their weapons.

"I love you too, son."

* * *

  
"Hmm…" Xelloss observed calmly, an eager smile on his face. "Oh dear! There goes the smoke stacks…"  
The ship began to spilt and there was a great amount of screaming from inside.

"What the?!" Lina yelped in horror looking out at the horror before them and the roaring dragoness. "Xelloss! What did you do?!"

"Oh Miss Lina!" He cried cheerily, landing beside her. "Isn't it wonderful! Boy she's really mad at me this time!"

Lina shook her head. "Damn it! Who could I even begin to count on to reel her in?! We need those lifeboats!"

* * *

  
From below, still strapped to a bed, tied off on a rock on WolfPack Island, Jarrek sneezed.  
"Huh." He murmured hearing a large amount of commotion beyond him. "I wonder what's taking her so long…"

He was imaging all sorts of delicious sceneries when their came a loud crack from beneath him.

"That can't be good."

* * *

  
"Hey Lina?" Gourry asked, interrupting the sorceress' temper-tantrum. "How about that ship over there?"  
"Huh?" Lina asked whirling over to where he was pointing. "Where did that come from?"

"It bears the flag of the Dread Pirate Sullivan." Xelloss determined cryptically. "He is said to be the most feared pirate in the Dolphin Sea, as he is the only pirate crazy enough to sail there."

Lina's eyes glowed. "Then he's sure to have loads of treasure."

"Miss Lina?" Amelia asked wearily.

"Oh come on!" She argued easily. "A boat, which we certainly need, and loot! It's a no brainier Amelia!"

Amelia bit her lip and rolled her eyes. "Oh all right, but we have to do something about Miss Filia first."

Lokkin blinked, looking from Amelia to the dragoness, puffing up in determination. "Leave everything to me."

The tiny grin master closed his eyes, summoning up a tiny grin army…

"Oh my…" Xelloss stated coolly, his sweatdrop betraying his carefully controlled fear… so many bunnies…

"There are thousands of them…" Lina whispered in awe.

Zelgadiss glared bitterly. "At this rate I might as well just go ahead and de-pants myself."

Lina gawked, Xelloss grinned, and Amelia blushed, turning away quickly.

Zelgadiss blanched, slapping himself in the head… hard…

Unfortunately, when you're made of stone… that comes off harder than you anticipate… as displayed by the now unconscious chimera.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cried, keeling over him and slapping him gently on his crimson cheek. "Mr. Zelgadiss! Please get up!"

One by one the little Grins opened their eyes, Lokkin last as he lifted his tiny paws.

"Okay Grins!" He ordered cheerfully, causing Xelloss to wince heavily. "On my lead!"

He glared up determinedly at the rampaging dragoness. "GRINNING LULLABY OF TEWELVE HOUR SLEEP!!!"

The gang face faulted… including a very disturbed Xelloss… and Lina got to her feet in outrage. "What?!!"

Lokkin paid her no mind turning his furry little head up to the rampaging dragoness.

"**I'm all out of love…**" They sang softly… in a surprisingly light six part harmony… "**I'm so lost without you…**"

The dragoness paused mid snarl and looked down at them… a sweatdrop forming…

"Oh my heavens…" Xelloss murmured in quiet bemusement. "It actually appears to be working… how unexpected!"

"Shh!" Lina yelped, smacking him hard across the back of his head. "Don't let her hear you! You're the one who got her like this!"

"Well in my defense…" Xelloss began but Lina held up a hand.

"Nope!" She replied coolly. "Don't wanna hear it."

"But…' Xelloss whined and Lina turned away snootily.

"It's always your fault, Xelloss." She replied calmly, crossing her arms. "You're the monster, now deal with it."

Well Xelloss found this a little harsh, but he figured he'd argue his quazi-evil status later for now… well this was certainly more amusing!

Filia let out half a roar but the grin chimed in with a response of "**… I know you right… believing for so long…**"

Xelloss rolled his eyes inwardly as Filia closed her great blue orbs and began to sway softly with the music.

The ship's patrons didn't find the rocking nearly as relieving as the Slayers, however… as their screams of terror went on to reflect.

A soft golden light whirled out of the dragoness, wrapping around her.

"Turn around, Gourry!" Lina yelped harshly, smacking the slack-jawed swordsman across the back of the head. "Pervert!"

Gourry winced turning away as he asked desperately. "Lina what sort of bunnies can get a dragon to do a strip show?"

"Filia's not striping!" Lina replied angrily, hitting him again.

"No, she did that last night!" Xelloss quipped cheerily, quite enjoying the show as always.

Lina glared at him and Lokkin took this moment to duck in and yell in outrage. "Not a bunny!"

"Whatever." Lina mutter shooing him away and watching Xelloss' face rather than looking up at the _new _dragon show. "Well?"

"Oh any moment now I'll go and catch her…" He replied smoothly, not even bothering to look away while answering.

Lina gave him a look of disgust but didn't even bother to critique him, she had enough on her mind as it was.

Sure enough as the sleeping began to shrink he phased out, catching her softly as she fell backwards, now fully clothed.

"Oh. Thank you, Jarrek, dear…" She murmured tuning into his cloak, causing the mazoku to twitch and quickly return, less he drop her off the side of the ship.

"No appreciation whatsoever…" He murmured bitterly shimmering away with her still in his arms.

Just then, the Dread Pirate Sullivan made his appearance. "At last we meet, you blond haired cur of a menace!"

Gourry blinked, looking down at the unconscious dragon as Xelloss appeared with her in his arms.

"I'm pretty sure he means you, Gourry." Lina replied, eyeing him up and down. "I think that's that guy in the cloak you won all that money off of."

"What money?" Gourry asked daftly causing Lina and the pirate troupe to facefault.

"Father!" Cruz cut in, pointing at the multitude of Lokkin clones. "Look at all those fleeces!"

"What's a fleece?" Lokkin asked Amelia eagerly.

Amelia, of course, was white with rage and horror as she stood to her feet.

"They wish to skin you, Mr. Lokkin!" She stated in loud outrage and Lokkin and his army yelped a universal cry of. "What?!"

"And that is EVIL!" Amelia declared, pointing directly at Cruz.

"**You got that right, toots!**" Lokkin practically snarled, causing the pirates to sweatdrop and take a hasty step backwards.

A snarling bunny would be enough to give even the most feared pirates pause it seemed.

"I though you were our friend, Mr. Cruz!" Amelia went on, her face alight with righteous indignation. "But now I see despite appearances your father's legacy has rubbed off on you! I cannot allow your evil nature to go unpunished despite your momentary kindness!"

The pirates took another step back and Sullivan held up his hands nervously. "Look Miss I just want my money back…"

"What?!!" Cruz yelped in horror. "But father…"

"Oh what?!" Sullivan yelped in response. "It's a depraved dream anyway!"

Lina blinked as Amelia stared open mouthed as the father and son spared off.

"Huh…" Lina stated calmly, running a hand through her hair. "Well while they're busy bickering… let's go steal their ship!"

"Err… Right!" Amelia agreed, wrenching herself away and pointing to the heavens. "Let not their soiled hands go unpunished, and let the act of saving our lives erase all their past misdeeds."

"Right." Lina nodded, pointing to the ship. "To the ship!"

Lokkin reformed himself, and blinked up at Xelloss. "Are you evil?"

"If you're asking do I want to skin you, no." He replied coolly, slipping his staff hand under the legs of the still sleeping dragoness as she snuggled closer to him.

"Now if you consider strapping down a lecherous dragon to a masseuse bed that you tied off on a mazoku Island and stealing his fiancée evil, then … _yes_." He concluded, cracking an eye and a grin at the tiny grin master.

Lokkin blinked, and shook his furry little head. "I get the feeling I have a lot more to learn about this whole evil business."

The Slayers boarded the pirate ship… Lina and Gourry first, followed by Xelloss caring Filia and then… Amelia dragging Zelgadiss with Lokkin helping with the feet…

* * *

Sullivan and Cruz paid them no mind as they continued their bickering.

Suddenly there was another mighty crack in the hull and the ship finally broke in twain.

The Pirates screamed, latching onto each other as the other half flipped and began sinking at a rapid rate… their own half beginning to capsize.

"Oh son!" Sullivan moaned, holding onto Cruz in horror. "I forgive you for being a ninny."

"And I forgive you for being a stubborn old fool, father." Cruz replied with honest sincerity.

The two appraised each other with wide shiny eyes and Sullivan hung his head.

"Since we're about to die anyway…" He murmured quietly. "I feel I should tell you… I too am a ninny…"

"What?" Cruz asked in stunned delight.

Sullivan nodded sadly. "It's true… I never wanted to be a pirate…"

He took a deep breath and gazed into his sons waiting eyes. "I… I wanted to play violin…"

Cruz stared in open mouthed horror.

"Aye!" One pirate spoke up from behind him. "And I wanted to play the cello!"

"The oboe was a beast in me hands, it was." Another agreed.

Cruz and Sullivan turned back at them and then Cruz met his fathers gaze. "And I could have been murder with the saxophone."

"Tambourine!" Another pirate chimed in… earning him a swift kick overboard.

"Hey!" He yelled up from the water. "They stole our ship!" 

* * *

  
Lina watched as the pirates prepared to charge them, only to tip their end fully upward… their screams echoing over to them across the water.

"Huh." Lina muttered softly. "Well I guess it's our ship now."

She turned to Xelloss. "Where to now, Xel?"

"Well see that Island over there?" He asked calmly… hoping she'd forget that this was the last place he could confirm on the map. "That's the Isle of Lala… our intended destination."

"Right!" She declared, pointing onward. "Okay Gourry, lets go!"

* * *

  
Sullivan looked over at his ship as it sailed off into the distance and gave a heavy sigh; their half was sinking beneath their feet.

"Hey!" Came the yell from the would-be tambourine player. "I found some instruments down here, why don't you pull me up and we can take a crack at them?"

Cruz and Sullivan shared a grin and Sullivan turned to his crew. "You heard the fool-of-a-ninny, now let's hoist him up here and all be ninny-fools!"

"Aye!" Came the cheer and they pulled him up.

Sullivan grinned as they handed him the violin and turned to his son.

"Son." He said wistfully. "Lead us in a tune would, you?"

"Sure father." He whispered raising the saxophone too his lips. "You got it."

Sullivan turned to his crew. "It's been a pleasure, you filthy dogs."

"Aye!" They responded.

And to the fading sounds of its patron song, accompanied by a tambourine, the Loveboat sank into the sea…


	28. Episode 028: Who's in Love With Gourry!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Eight Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 028: Who's in Love With Gourry?************!**

**********

* * *

  
********Welcome to the Isle of Lala!**

* * *

Zelgadiss blinked open his eyes tiredly.

He was floating...

Something had happened, something important...

Something he should remember...

The sun shimmered above, so cool on his face...

Wait a moment, cool? Shimmer?

He yelped, thrashing in the water, quickly closing his mouth as he choked on the water surrounding him.

That's right! They'd crashed the ship! On some rocks! And he'd been thrown overboard.

He wasn't floating! He was sinking!

Suddenly from above he saw an added shimmer of golden hair, the locks parting in the water and the chimera stared in stunned horror as they floated apart to reveal a smug grinning face.

It was Jarrek's grinning face, and it was getting closer.

The chimera gave a startled yelp; this of course muffled by the surrounding water and swam to the bottom, running along the ocean floor, casting a look over his shoulder in horror as he ran.

Before he knew it he was running along a beach, a hot beach. He also was still holding his breath and as a result, swiftly passed out in a dead faint upon the sun soaked sand.

Lina sighed, shaking her head as Jarrek emerged from the water after him. "Leave it to Zel, to drown on dry land."

"Oh no!" Amelia cooed, kneeling at his side holding his face in her hands. "Miss Lina?"

"You know what to do, Amelia." She replied with a knowing smirk, wringing out her cape and waving her friend on. "You can handle it."

Amelia blushed, looking down at the breathless chimera.

"Oh dear." Xelloss cut in, rubbing the back of his head in genuine sadness. He really was sad to have to interrupt what was sure to be an amusing display, since for once the chimera actually was unconscious. "I'm afraid that'll have to wait. You see, if anyone on this island catches us this way. Why, they'll just knock him out again anyway. Or worse..."

"Come again?" Lina asked, eyeing him warily. All of their gold had sunk when they'd crashed into the rocks, and she really wasn't in the mood for this. At least those weird dreams about Gourry had stopped.

"What do you mean, if they find us like this?" Filia asked suspiciously and he grinned, pleased to have the opportunity to scare her a little.

"Oh not you Miss Filia." He replied knowingly, arching a finger. "Only myself, Mr. Jarrek, Gourry, and Zelgadiss need fear. For you see, like the kingdom of Female, only women are aloud on this island."

"Great." Lina sighed, standing to her feet triedly. "Another Shrine Maiden kingdom, I bet this spots gonna be a dead end to."

"Oh not, Shrine Maidens, Miss Lina!" Xelloss corrected, cracking an eye. "I'm afrid the ruler of this Island doesn't quite have such... holy... intentiuons."

"Um-huh..." Lina mused, sitting down on a rock, waiting for him too elaborate. "Go on..."

Xelloss cleared his throat, pulling a bulletin board accompanied by a pull-down map out of nowhere, pointing a red x on and island, pointedly marked you are here...

"The Isle of Lala!" He chimed merrily, looking out at his obedient class. "Was founded about two years ago by a traveling sailor/ nobleman, whose name was Vallune!"

Lina blinked warily, she knew that name, but how?

Gourry on the other hand turned pale, backing away slowly before the others could notice his retreat.

"You see...' Xelloss went on, his hands narrating the tale. "Vallune was great in love with a young maiden, and tragically she rejected him."

He looked meaningfully at his captive audience, as Gourry stepped back into the plamtree-line, completely un-noticed by all.

"The young girl's name was Lala!" Xelloss concluded, holding up a finger dramatically, as Lina's jaw dropped and Amelia looked at her in dawning comprehension. "And that is why this is called the Isle of Lala!"

"Miss Lina?" Amelia asked worriedly, still cradling Zel's head in her hands.

Lina slapped her head with a knowing sigh, standing to her feet. "Of course. Lala, Vallune, should have known. Well Gourry, can we count on you to keep him occupied?"

She turned to look behind her, only to note that the swordsman was conspicuously missing...

"Huh?" She called, holding a hand to shield her gaze as she surveyed her surroundings. "Gourry?"

Oh, there he was, up a tree, at least he seemed to have finally found a real banana...

"Gourry!" She called irritably. "Get down here! I need you to distract Vallune while I go hunt for treasure!"

"No way, Lina! Not again, not ever!" He yelled down, comforting himself by helping himself to another banana.

"Arrrgg!" She roared, walking up to the tree and holding out her hands meaningfully. "I'll give you till the count of three, and then I'm burning the tree down!"

Xelloss sweatdropped, looking over to Amelia. "I feel as though I have missed something."

Amelia grinned sheepishly, making to dragged the water-logged chimera off into the treeline. "Well you, see it's really pretty embarrassing but... well... Mr. Gourry's actually Lala, you see, believe it or not, Miss Lina puts Gourry in a dress a lot, and well, with that long blond hair..."

"Oh... dear..." Xelloss mused with a grin, running that little bit of info over in his head pleasantly. "Well that is something..."

He looked over at the confused pair of dragons, Filia's hair was being brushed around Jarrek's shoulders, and he grinned...

"Long blond hair you say..." Xelloss mused aloud, his grin widening as he turned back to Amelia, who was still pulling Zelgadiss to the trees for shelter. "And perhaps a strong jaw line, I imagine..."

"It certainly seemed hard to miss!" She agreed, panting lightly, a big smile on her face as she concentrated. "He didn't even seem to care when he flung out Mr. Gourry wasn't a girl!"

Xelloss cracked an eye at that, his grin bordering on all out laughter. "Oh my, well... I do believe I have a solution to everyone's troubles!"

Amelia grinned, happy to help as she disappeared into the treeline, Xelloss phasing into Gourry's tree.

"Say, Gourry..." He stated lazily, leaning against the trunk comfortably. He liked trees, not even Zelas seemed to know why. Dynast said it was because they were good for peeping... perhaps some truth to that. "I have a suggestion, how about I make you a wig?"

"A wig?" The swordsman asked through a mouth-full of banana. "What color?"

Xelloss titled his head, and gave a shrug. "Well, what color would you like?"

Gourry though long and hard and then held up a finger. "I like red hair, didn't used too but now I like it a lot!"

"Hmm, can't imagine why..." Xelloss stated with a bemused smirk, leaning in to grip the swordsman's head. "Here, let me just get your measurements, be terrible for it to fall off in Vallune's presence..."

Gourry shuddered, nodding fervently. "That would be awful, thanks for your help Xelloss."

Xelloss grinned, taking mental note of the parameters of the swordsman's head, a perfect replica on a certain gold dragon flashing in his mind. "Not at all. Now I'll be right back as soon as I make certain Lina won't burn down the tree. Once I return, I'll have a nice red wig for you!"

"Thanks, Xelloss." Gourry nodded a happy smile on his face as the monster phased out.

* * *

  
"Okay, Mr. Zelgadiss..." Amelia whispered softly, propping his head up on some leaves... eyeing his clothes warily...

"We'll just make you look like a girl again..." She murmured, blushing bright red and coming up with a wardrobe in her mind that wouldn't force her to undress him. "Then..."

Her heart beat increased, before skipping a few beats and she shook her head, pulling herself up tall.

"Then I'll recessitate you." She stated determinedly, pulling free her cape and blushing once more as she went to work fastening it around his waist like a skirt.

"Alright..." She breathed worriedly, pulling back, her hands shaking. "And now for the shirt..."

She looked down at the fur at her own waist and grinned at her ingenuity, blushing once more as she quickly stuffed it down his shirt.

"Right..." She murmured, pleased with her handiwork. "Now let's just fasten his cape like so..."

"Ah!" She grinned, sitting back happily, pulling a small pouch from out of nowhere.

"Now, time for makeup!" 

* * *

Lina glared at him as Xelloss phased in between her and the tree.

"Move." She growled.

"Um, no!" He replied easily, arching a finger. "Say Miss Lina, why don't you let me handle this, I have lovely little plan afoot! One I suspect you'll find most amusing..."

Lina blinked.

"What sort of plan?" She asked suspiciously.

"Well..." He stated happily, leaning off the tree grandly. "It's just, Jarrek's blond and Gourry doesn't particularly want to be today, so I took liberties!"

With a flourish he pulled a perfectly identical wig to Gourry's golden mane.

Lina chocked. "So um, let me get this straight, Jarrek, becomes Lala?"

Xelloss grinned, arching a finger. "Precisely. But let's not tell him, hmm? He'll make a far better distraction that way!"

"Agreed." Lina replied reaching for the wig enthusiastically; a sudden look of worry dawning on her face. "Hey, what about Gourry?"

"Oh, well he's developed this sudden desire for red hair, so we're fine on that end." Xelloss replied easily, enjoying the feelings of embarrassment that washed over the sorceress as she turned scarlet.

"Er... Right." She sputtered, snatching the wig from him and turning away. "Wasn't like I could burn that tree down right now anyway..."

"What was that?" Xelloss asked, cracking eye suspiciously but Lina had already retreated to the company of the two golds.

He shrugged and phased back up to retrieve Gourry. 

* * *

  
"So you want Jarrek to wear this? But why Miss Lina?" Filia asked perplexed, she hadn't been able to follow any of the things that had gone on since they'd gotten here.

"Because Gourry's gonna have red hair." She replied snappily, slamming into Jarrek's chest. "So this way we'll have two red-heads and two blonds, got it!"

"Well I hardly see how that applies to this situation." Jarrek replied, just as confused as Filia.

Lina pulled on her hair in frustration. "Just... put... it... on... Put it on!"

The couple looked at each other and shrugged, Jarrek slipping it on and beaming cheesily at Filia.

"How do I look?" He purred and she giggled, smacking him lightly on the chest. "Oh, Jarrek..."

Lina turned away, wringing her hands. No sleep and twenty-eight days make Lina... red-headed Gourry...

"Wow..." She murmured, catching herself and looking around with a blush. Luckily, Jarrek and Filia were too engaged with each other to notice her slip up, and bizarrely Amelia and Zel seemed to missing. It was just, it was really like seeing him for the first time, and she had forgotten how attractive he was...

Stupid dreams! She huffed inwardly, pulling herself together and throwing on an easy grin as she trudged over the sands to meet them.

"Wow, Gourry." She stated, blushing despite her best efforts. "You can sure pull off red, who knew."

"Awe, you pull it off better." He replied easily, and Lina's blush deepened. Xelloss grinned, pleased at both her embarrassment and the site of Jarrek in a long blond wig. This was going to be fun!

"T... thanks Gourry..." She stammered, growling inwardly and pulling herself together once more. "Like the clothes too!"

"Huh? What clothes?" He looked down briefly and sure enough he found himself in a blue ruffled dress. "What? Xelloss, when did you do that?"

"Oh just one of my many odd skills." He muttered wanly, leaning on his staff with a grin. "Now, watch this..."

He disappeared, only to reappear as "Xella Ose" and grin as he felt the horror radiating off Jarrek.

"She's... he's... you..." Jarrek sputtered in horror, as Xelloss fanned himself, giving the perverted gold a little wink.

"Just showing off..." Filia growled her hand twitching as she restrained herself from grabbing her mace.

Xelloss let out a little feminine twitter and Lina sighed dryly.

"Why do I get the feeling I really don't want to know?" 

* * *

  
"And now..." Amelia murmured softly, for the twelfth time, as she leaned in shyly, her cheeks scarlet and her heart racing for the twelfth time. "Mouth-to-mouth... um... mouth-to-mouth..."

She pulled back, taking a deep breath to steady herself and leaned in to try once more, she could do this; she was nearly eighteen, now worries. Justice demanded that she do this, come on Amelia...

She leaned in once more, her lips inches from his...

"Well..." A seductive feminine drawl spoke up and Amelia sat up with a start. "What do we have here?"

The princess turned to find herself surrounded by a group of no less than twenty women, all of them sporting bows, save the once speaking down to her.

She had a staff, and that was the last thing Amelia saw before she was knocked out by it.


	29. Episode 029: One Killer Queen!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Twenty-Nine Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 029: One Killer Queen?! **********

**********

* * *

  
********Disco's Not Dead! Just Shipwrecked!  
**

* * *

Amelia blinked open her eyes, adjusting to light with a slight wince.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!" She cried, sitting upright in fright, remembering their plight.

"Relax, sugar." A throaty voice cut in. "And you may wanna call him, Miss Zelgadiss for appearances, hon."

Amelia pursed her lips in confusion turning to find the voice's owner.

Before her stood the tallest woman she'd ever seen, in a matching zebra print genie-getup.

"Wha... what?" Amelia blinked, it suddenly occurring to her that this was the same women who had knocked her out, and she cast a worried glance at Zelgadiss. "Um... Miss Lina..."

"She's out with that tall red-headed guy." The woman replied smiling reassuringly as the little princess' eyes went wide with fright.

"Oh, don't worry hon!" She assured her easily, waving away her fears with those long red-painted nails. "Your Mr. Zelgadiss isn't the only rooster in the hen house if you follow me!"

Amelia blinked, and then narrowed her gaze, as she did begin to follow...

Unfortunately, she looked down at Zelgadiss, who until now she hadn't noticed but he was wearing some terribly gaudy leopard print mess, which was an identical match to Miss... er... Mr. Zebra-lady... er… guy…

"Erm..." She asked flushing scarlet, turning to the side nervously. "Um... you didn't undress me yourself, did you?"

"No, that blond fella you were with did." Zebra-boy replied easily, tapping his chin in thought. "Your friend there as well, said he felt it was a job best for him..."

Amelia went pale and fainted dead away...

Zebra-boy shook his head sadly, holding a hand to his mouth with a sad shake of his head.

"I'd react the same way if some tasteless bastard dolled me up in peacock feathers, and no boa!" He stated sadly, exiting the tent to join the others. "Just plain tasteless. I tell you, fashion is just plain lost on men these days..."

* * *

  
"So let me get this straight..." Lina asked calmly, uncomfortable in her ruby sequin getup. She was also painfully aware she didn't quite have the bust-line for this sorta of outfit, and as such, she was getting testy.

Gourry, in his matching sapphire edition, really wasn't having that problem at all, thanks to Xelloss' handiness, and she had to admit...

She was getting jealous...

Oh yes, very testy.

"On this whole island, we're the only real women here?" She finished, looking around at their captors incredulously. "And he hasn't noticed?"

"Well, he doesn't even make it past second base, unless he's really trashed." One sporting what appeared to be chicken feathers replied, the others nodding their agreement.

"Yeah." Another, wearing some sort of chain-mail weave agreed. "He's always like Lala this, and Lala that, she's the only one he'd be interested in while sober, you know?"

Gourry turned an awful shade of green and Lina bit back a grin.

"Alright, well if that's the case..." She stated calmly, trying to get a handle on this. "Then why are you guys here anyway?"

They all looked at each other nervously, and finally chicken-boy spoke up again.

"Well, you see, we're pirates really..." He stated nervously. "And we came here seeking a legendary treasure..."

"Did you now..." Lina replied, sinking down on her rock and holding her head in her hands.

"Aye." He agreed. "It be a sad tale, see King Vallune had already found it..."

"Of course..." Lina nodded with a sad shake of her head.

"And well..." The chicken looked over to his crew before shrugging helplessly. "He say's he'll only share it with his queen, when he finds her that is..."

"Let me guess..." Lina offered dryly, holding up a hand. "Lala, am I right?"

"Aye." Chicken-boy agreed. "So we were thinking, maybe, if the mood was right, one of us could maybe make him forget this Lala broad, and he'd make them queen instead, then we could high-tale it on out of here with the treasure."

"Uh-huh..." Lina mused, arching a brow coolly. "So I'm guessing that hasn't worked so far now, has it?"

"Only Lala will do it for King Vallune." He replied tiredly. "No one else."

Lina grinned standing to her feet. "Well, how bout this! We try and take a crack at it, and in exchange for a cut of the treasure, you'll let us join you on your ship?"

Chicken-boy shrugged. "I doubt you'll get any further than us, but sure, why not."

"Great!" Lina replied, standing to her feet and turning back to Jarrek.

He looked for the entire world like a solid gold disco queen...

"Well... I think we're gonna need a wardrobe change..." She muttered, turning to Xelloss.

"Where did you get that?" She asked, appraising his emerald silk-cut genie costume.

"Lord Beastmaster's closet!" He replied easily. "She encourages me to borrow whatever I see fit, I think she wants me to try being a girl someday!"

Lina arched a brow as his androgynous hair cut.

"You might right about that." She replied tiredly, nodding to Jarrek. "Can you get him something similar, in pink?"

"Be right back!" He chimed.

"Preferably with ruffles!" She called after him, enjoying the disdainfully look on Jarrek's face.

"I wish I had a magic fashion genie..." Zebra-boy whispered to chicken-boy. "That would make, so happy!"

Chicken-boy hung his head with a sigh...

This had better be worth it!

Unbeknownst to him, Jarrek was silently sharing his thoughts. 

* * *

  
Zelgadiss woke up with a groan, sitting up slowly, something heavy on his chest.

"Wha... what the..." He murmured, trying to make out the familiar shape in the darkness.

"So! Stony is a cross-dresser too, so many secrets, eh Stony?" An annoying little voice tittered.

Zelgadiss grunted smacking at him, hearing him titter as he jumped off of the chimera before he could land the hit.

There was still something heavy on his chest though...

He felt a sniffing little nose and some invasive whiskers on the side of his face and sat up quickly...

Careful inspection told him he now had breasts...

One fell out and landed in his lap causing him to wince and pick it up, inspecting it closely.

It was actually a rock...

For some inexplicable reason, someone had dressed him like a girl and thought to use real rocks as fake breasts.

He wasn't sure if he should be shuddering or laughing.

He was leaning more towards the former, just on principal.

The chimera sighed, stuffing it back in to the… um… bra he was wearing; he might want to bash in the culprit's head with it later.

"So what do _you_ know about this?" He asked the tittering grin master.

"That it seems to be catching." He replied, pointing a furry little paw over at the unconscious princess.

Zelgadiss blushed, looking away quickly.

"I... I see..." He stammered.

"Awe..." Lokkin grinned. "See Stony! You do like her, its okay! With a rack like..."

Zelgadiss moved quickly, catching him off-guard and finally landing a hit, which sent him flying...

Right into Amelia's immodestly covered chest.

"No!" He cried, unable to dodge... and then he spouted a nosebleed, and was out for the count.

Zelgadiss found himself laughing despite his irritation, and the sound woke up the small princess.

"Huh... Mr... Zelgadiss..." She asked, blinking open her eyes, the sight of the unconscious Grin Master greeting her.

"Oh no!" She cried, sitting up quickly and catching him as he slid off into her arms. "Mr. Lokkin!"

"He's fine, Amelia." Zelgadiss replied, smiling gently. "What's going on here?"

"Huh?" She looked over to see him pointing pointedly to his new wardrobe... and… um… rocks...

"Oh..." She stammered, looking to the side as her cheeks tinged red. "Well... you see..."

"Let me guess..." He offered, cutting in tiredly and standing to his feet. "Weird town; women only?"

"Yeah!" She replied, looking at him oddly. "How'd you know?"

"It appears to be a recurring theme." He replied coolly, certain memories of a beautiful princess who had turned out to be a prince flashing across his mind.

Amelia grinned bashfully. "That's just what we get when we travel with Miss Lina, huh?"

"Well it isn't all bad..." He replied, adjusting his rocks with a wan grin. Still bemused by the ingenuity. "Who came up with our wardrobe, anyway?"

Amelia bit her lip, turning away and muttered something incomprehensive under her breath.

"What was that?" Zelgadiss asked, forming a small sweatdrop. It wasn't like the princess to be so evasive.

"It wasn't my fault!" Amelia cried, holding onto Lokkin tightly. "I was unconscious, and so were you and Mr. Jarrek..."

"Wait, wa... wiaaat..." Zelgadiss moaned uneasily, holding out his hands in horror. "Are you telling me that Jarrek has seen me… and you... both of us..."

He droned off, his face contorting back and forth from rage and horror as Amelia nodded meekly.

Ever-so-calmly, the chimera stood to his feet, pulled loose his sword and charged...

With a mighty yell he braved the flaps of the tent and ran forth to confront...

"J... Jarrek!" He sputtered in disbelief. "Wha... What are you wearing?"

"I'm not really sure myself." Was the dry reply, as he glowered at the grinning mazoku beside him. "Ask Xella-ose here. He picked it out..."

"Now let's give credit where credit is due!" Xelloss replied easily, nodding over to Lina with a grin. "After all, it was Lina's choice..."

"Lina?" Zelgadiss asked, taken, far... _far_, aback... "Wha...what's going on here?"

"Well... it's a long story..." She replied, rubbing the back of her head nervously.

"We all have to pretend to be girls..." Gourry stated morosely.

"And Jarrek is going to be crowned queen!" Xelloss added merrily.

"And you may finally get a piece of the Clair Bible, so..." Lina added with a big plastic grin.

Zelgadiss blinked, nodding wearily, looking around at the ridiculous costumes and grinning faces.

"This can't be good..."


	30. Episode 030: An Indecent Proposal!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

_Thirty Episodes Re-posted! _

_Hee, as always, any **reviews** will be acknowledged up **here** in the announcement section should you post 'em! **(n.-)**  
_

_Enjoy!! **(n.n)**  
_

_- Nicci_

* * *

**********Episode 030: An Indecent Proposal?! **

**********

* * *

  
********The Flames of Passion Burn Strong!  
**

* * *

Xelloss was positively beside himself with glee.

This was the best torture ever contrived for a piece of walking slime like Jarrek!

All this attention, all this seductive flattery, and from a drunken old man!

"Oh my!" He murmured pleasantly, phasing onto the log beside Filia, causing her to shudder and fall off. "Well he certainly seems to be going for it, doesn't he?"

Lina grinned back at him, from her side beside Gourry. The swordsman kept shifting nervously, as though he expected Vallune to notice any minute that Jarrek was a fraud and leap over from his throne and snatch up him instead.

Lina shot him a wary look, rolled her eyes and placed a consoling hand on his shoulder.

"Trust me, Gourry." She stated calmly, for the umpteenth time that night. "I barely recognize you, there is no way he's going to, relax!"

Gourry nodded, but continued to shift nervously.

"Oh look!" Xelloss stated cheerily as Filia finally got it together and sat back down on the log. "Vallune's getting down!"

Lina put a rough, yet comforting, hand on the swordsman's wrist to keep him from bolting in horror.

"Oh, and he's offering a hand to help Jarrek down!" Xelloss went on, casting a bemused grin at Filia. "Such good manners!"

"Where are they going?" Filia asked, ignoring Xelloss as Vallune, his face red with either drink or passion escorted her across the beach.

"Oh look!" Xelloss tittered, nearly beside himself at this point. "Why! He's taking him back to the BIG tent! Why, I think Vallune's decided to go crown his queen, as it we... were..."

The mazoku couldn't contain himself any longer and in set of hysteric giggles he fell off the log, his feet kicking towards the starlit sky in glee.

Filia gawked in horror, standing to her feet and clutching a hand to her mouth. "Why Miss Lina! We have to rescue him!"

Lina pulled her eyes away from the still giggling mazoku legs to Filia's horrified face and waved a hand for her to sit back down.

"Relax, Filia." She replied dryly, poking the fire with a stick as Gourry peered over her head towards the BIG tent in stunned horror. "Jarrek knew fully well what he was getting into. I mean he just chose to let Vallune escort him, didn't he? He could have demanded a wedding or something first, but no."

Filia blinked and Xelloss stuck a finger into the air from his place in the sand.

"That says oh so much about his character, eh Filia?" The mazoku chided, his finger waving... chidingly...

Filia blinked. "He... wha..."

"Still." Lina stated suspiciously, tossing the stick into the fire and watching it burn. "It's a little odd, isn't it? Perhaps, we should go get Chicken-boy and Zebra-boy and have them show us where the treasure is, while Vallune is... distracted."

"You think Jarrek wants first dibs..." Xelloss mused, his countenance darkening as he phased back onto the log. "You may be right, Lina."

"I wouldn't pay that cost, even for you Lina." Gourry stated in terror, looking down at the sorceress.

Lina grinned, rubbing the back of her head. "Well... let's just go take a look, huh? Put our minds at ease?"

Filia sputtered and Lina arched a brow at her pointedly. "And once we get the treasure, we can rescue Jarrek. We won't need him then anyway."

Filia closed her mouth, her eyes flashing once before cooling.

"Right." Lina stated calmly, standing to her feet, the swordsman only seconds behind. "Let's go find us some treasure."

* * *

  
Amelia bit her lip, staring out from her cover in the lush trees to the open spot before her.

It wasn't entirely open though, no, there were some ruins there, and before them, was Zelgadiss.

"You can come out, Amelia." He called, not bothering to take his gaze from the puzzle carved into the stone before him.

Amelia blanched, and joined his side, rubbing her head sheepishly.

Zelgadiss cast her a small knowing smile and then nodded to her calmly.

"Where's Lokkin?" He asked and she nodded back towards their original camp-site.

"I left him there." She replied worriedly, meeting the chimera's gaze. "He was still... out."

Zelgadiss grinned despite himself, turning back to the ruins. "Probably just as well, this really isn't any place for a bunny."

"Grinmaster." Amelia corrected, almost immediately and they shared a look, before smiling at each other sheepishly.

Zelgadiss looked back at the ruins, a slight blush crossing his features and the princess wrung her hands nervously.

"Is that where the treasure is?" Amelia asked softly, stepping closer to him, her gaze on the strange symbols.

Zelgadiss swallowed softly, nodding and running hand over one of them.

"Yeah." He replied. "I had wondered why the pirates were going through all this trouble, when, well they are pirates afterall."

He smiled at her and she grinned back up at him.

"Well, I forgot..." He went on, nodding to the symbols. "Pirates are surprisingly dumb for the most part. These symbols... they represent a riddle or pattern of some sort, and once I solve it, I can unlock it."

"Oh, Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cooed, grabbing his arm happily. "That's wonderful!"

Zelgadiss grinned down at her briefly, before frowning back at the ruins. "Yes. But, with ruins this old, there's normally some sort of booby trap if you do it wrong..."

"Booby trap?" The princess echoed, thinking of her own safeguards designed into the palace.

"We'd better be careful then." She murmured, looking up at him nervously.

"Don't worry." He replied, turning back to the ruins. "I almost have it..."

He closed his eyes and Amelia watched in admiration as the images swirled behind his eyes.

He was so smart, so kind, so strong...

Her heart beat picked up a little, and a blush found her cheeks, causing her to bite her lip nervously.

If only he'd notice her.

"That's it!" He cried, opening his eyes with a reassuring grin. "I got it. You with me Amelia? It could be dangerous, but I'd like the company."

Amelia smiled, that was one of things she liked most about him, he trusted her, and coming from the chimera, that meant everything.

"Right!" She replied, pointing her Justice finger high. "Let's do it, Mr. Zelgadiss!"

Zelgadiss grinned and turned back to the riddle before him, rearranging the stones with careful calculation.

As soon as the last one clicked into place, the walls began to rumble, it was the sound of opening.

He smiled down at Amelia who grinned up at him proudly.

Then the floor dropped out beneath of them.


	31. Episode 031: Outside of the BIG Tent!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

* * *

**********Episode 031: Outside of the BIG Tent? **

**********

* * *

********Everybody Down the Hole!  
**

* * *

Lokkin blinked open his wide brown eyes cautiously.

Once he was certain the space before him was bosom-free he sat up, smiling shyly as he noticed the little princess had tucked him in.

He liked her, she was nice, sweet, and smexy!

No, can't think that way; that way leads to breasts and breasts are a Grinmaster's only weakness.

He sighed, letting out a shaky breath and thru on a grin.

He had this, no problem.

"Well, well..." A serene voice spoke up calmly. "Looks like someone went and got themselves hugged again, didn't they?"

"Sherrast." Lokkin tittered turning towards the crone and grinning wider as he took in her soaked form.

"You look... wet." He chimed happily.

Sherrast's serene gaze broke for just a moment in cynical irritation.

"You don't say..." She ground out, her countenance darkening.

Lokkin grinned, pointing a furry little finger at her. "Say! I know how to get you dry in a jiffy!"

"So do I." Sherrast muttered, she was a monster afterall, and she was growing more and more annoyed by their banter.

He of course was growing more pleased with himself.

Sherrast was beginning to fear for her Lord's sanity, as it was obvious Lord Dynast had to have been insane to create him.

"Oh, but I got you in this condition!" He stated wandering over and placing a furry little paw on her leg. "It was my negligence and pettiness, anyway. Let me make it up to you."

Sherrast smiled serenely, being with those two had weakened him, she could use this.

"Oh Lokkin, thank you." She stated calmly.

"This way!" Lokkin stated happily, holding open the flap on the tent for her. "I found a spot on the island that will be just perfect!"

Sherrast smiled pleasantly and followed him on out.

* * *

"Amelia!" Zelgadiss called into the darkness. "Are you alright?"

"Unh..." She moaned, rubbing her swore backside and standing up.

"**_LIGHTING!_**" She declared, looking to the chimera in the brighter gloom. "I'm fine. Are you alright Mr. Zelgadiss?"

Zelgadiss grinned, shaking his head at the thought. "Yeah, I'm fine Amelia."

He nodded towards a tunnel. "Seems this was the entrance afterall."

Amelia grinned sheepishly. "I never doubted you, Mr. Zelgadiss."

Even in the shadows his blush was visible and he nodded them on.

"Let's go."

* * *

"Say Lina..." Gourry asked curiously, following beside her as they followed behind the pair of pirates.

"Yeah, what is it Gourry?" She asked arching a brow as Chicken-boy and Zebra-boy proceeded to fight over whom between them deserved to be Maid of Honor at "Lala" and Vallune's wedding.

Thankfully, they hadn't turned back to her for her opinion yet, but she had a feeling that was coming next.

"Where's Zel? And Amelia?" He asked, confusion clouding his features as he looked down to her to clear it. "I haven't seen them since sunset."

"Huh, yeah, come to think of it..." Lina agreed thoughtfully running it over in her mind. "Me neither, or Lokkin for that matter."

"Here we are!" Chicken-boy cut in, stopping abruptly and turning back to them. "This is where it is, but it's no good. I tried telling ya, he has it locked away. No door… nothing."

"Now don't go changing the subject!" Zebra-boy whined, looking at Lina with a little pout. "What do you think hon? Don't you think I'd make the better Maid of Honor?"

He fluttered his lashes and gave her what Lina could only assume was his best "Maid of Honor" pout.

"Well, you make the better girl." Lina replied tiredly, having already worked the answer out in her mind. "So if it came down to it, sure. But that would make him the Best Man..."

The pair exchanged a pensive look, nodding at the logic of it but then Lina raised her hands in further irritation.

"But it doesn't matter!" She declared her annoyance growing as she glared at the pirate-duo. "Because "Lala" isn't going to get married, so this all moot. Besides, even if he did, Filia being his fiancé should be the Maid of Honor. At the very least."

"Is that a sort of a "Runner Up" consolation prize, Lina!" Xelloss asked with a grin as Filia twitched violently at his side.

Lina glared at him and was about to retort when Zebra-boy and Chicken boy leapt past her, each grabbing one of a very stunned Filia's hands.

"You you're getting married?" Zebra-boy cooed, covering the hand he had grabbed with his other and kneeling down, little hearts in his eyes. "That's so wonderful!"

"Can I be the Maid of Honor?" Chicken-boy asked quickly, matching his fellow pirate's stance causing Filia to go slack-faced and Xelloss to titter with delight.

Lina blinked, her own expression quite slack-jawed until she felt the swordsman tap her on the shoulder.

"Hm?" she asked, pleased to turn away as she glanced up at him. "What is it, Gourry?"

"Hole." He stated carefully, pointing down to the pit.

"Huh." Lina agreed, leaning over and glancing downward into the darkness. "So it is."

"Are we going to jump in it?" He asked, giving her a knowing smile.

"Yep." She agreed, returning his easy smile.

"So, then we're just going to leave_ them_, right?" He asked, nodding warily over to the bickering pirates, the sunned dragoness, and the grinning mazoku.

"Right." She agreed smartly, grabbing his wrist with a wink. "Hang on..."

"**_LEVITATION!_**" She cried, lifting them up before stepping off into the hole.

Xelloss grinned, watching them go and turned to Filia, taking her left hand from Zebra-boy.

His grin widened as she balked at him and he replied cheerily. "Sorry boys, but I'm the Maid of Honor. You can ask Vallune about being Grooms-men... er... Ladies if you'd like!" _Not a lie, since Hellmaster would be reborn before any of this could even possibly come about! So it's just embellishing it from one fantasy to another! Mine! If I fantasized about weddings… but wouldn't it be my… oh nevermind…_

"Xel... wha..." Filia sputtered in outrage, trying to yank her hand out of his grip and failing, earning only a mocking smile for her efforts.

She huffed irritably and he waited patiently for her to yank her hand from Chicken-boy's grip, no doubt in a hasty attempt to grab mace-sama, but he saw it for what it was...

His cue, and with that he phased them away.


	32. Episode 032: Say Ah!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

* * *

**********Episode 032: Say Ah? **

**********

* * *

********That's One Heavy Chimera!  
**

* * *

"Look at this!" Amelia called holding up the orb of light as Zelgadiss joined her side.  
"It's a face..." He murured placing a hand on the great stone chin.

"Did you find anything?" Amelia asked eagerly and he shook his head, his brows furrowed as he ran his hand over the chin again. It seemed to feel warmer than before.

"Nothing." He replied perplexed. "The hall leads here, and then stops. That would make this the only way forward."

Amelia stared at the face equally perplexed.

"Hey Amelia, touch this will you?" He asked pulling back and nodding to it.

Amelia smiled sheepishly, glad to be of help and did so, pulling her hand back with a start. "Ow! Mr. Zelgadiss it's hot!"

Zelgadiss blinked, hitting himself in the forehead and she rubbed she sore hand with a curious pout. Of course it would be much hotter for her! Silently he berated himself for the over-sight.

Amelia smiled reassuringly at, aware of his plight as she read it play across his face. "I'm okay! I just didn't expect it was all."

Zelgadiss let out a relieved breath giving her tiny smile. "Sorry. I should have..."

It then occurred to him that it was indeed growing hotter and exactly what that meant.

"Amelia!" He cried diving for her and knocking to the shocked princess to the floor. "Get down!"

No sooner than the words had left his lips did a large torrent of fire jet out through to face's mouth.

The blast was approximately three feet off the ground and luckily higher than their position on the floor, as well as being high enough not to catch anything ablaze.

Still, had they been standing...

"Are you okay?" He asked looking down at her.

"Hea... vy..." She gasped and the chimera winced quickly rolling off of her looking up at the flames as they died down.

Amelia gasped for air.

"Sorr... sorry..." She murmured sheepishly.

Zelgadiss waved her away trying not to shroud himself in a cloud of gloom.

"Why Zel, Amelia… I'm surprised at you..." Lina's amused voice spoke up as she entered the room, her own orb of light illuminating her and Gourry's grins. Not that Zelgadiss figured Gourry's grin had anything to do with them; he always looked like that when Lina was happy.

Currently though, she was happy at his expense and as such he wasn't feeling all that happy himself...

"The face breaths fire." He grumbled getting up and helping Amelia to her feet.

"Sorry for smashing you." He muttered under his breath as Lina mulled over his explanation in her head.

The princess gave him a pained but forgiving smile and he hung his head, undecided between relief and embarrassment.

"Okay, faces breath fire in here, got it." Lina stated evenly glancing around. "Anything else to catch us up?"

"Face..." Zelgadiss corrected dryly, waving a hand around the empty chasm. "The face breaths fire, it's the only thing here."

Lina pursed her lips. "Alright..."

The gang sat in silence for a moment, each mulling though their deductions.

Zelgadiss: _So if there is only the face... I can't believe I **smashed** her! Focus... Face... **smashed... Face... SMASHED...DAMN IT!**_

Amelia: _I never thought he'd be so heavy... he was so chivalrous and dashing when he saved me...if he's that heavy how do we..._

The princess blushed and promptly stopped thinking...

Gourry: I'm hungry.

Lina: "Oh I see!"

The others turned to her and she grinned approaching the face.

"So that's how it works..."" She murmured grinning up at the face knowingly.

"The traps are the doors!" She declared looking back at Zelgadiss to watch him comprehend.

"Of course..." He murmured walking over to her side, Amelia following and waiting for him to clarify. "That way either you'll die from the traps, or assume you're wrong and go the wrong way."

"Lucky for us there was only one face in the room." Lina stated coolly, arching a brow at Zelgadiss.

"And only one hole." He agreed with a dark grimace.

"But Miss Lina..." Amelia spoke up worriedly, placing a finger to her lips and casting a weary look at the faces mouth. "What if on the other side there is more than one face? Or something else..."

"We'll worry about that when get to it, Amelia!" Lina replied easily, placing the thought out of her mind. "Now for the... doorway..."

The mouth of the statue gaped nonplussed at her causing her to frown.

"The face heats up before it blows." Zelgadiss spoke up knowingly and Lina grinned slapping her palm with her fist.

"Alright, then we wait till it blows, it obviously needs time to build up so we'll go afterwards." She deducted easily.

"But Miss Lina, we don't know how long it is!" Amelia spoke up warily.

Lina bit her lip and cast her friend a little shrug with a devil may care grin. "Well, we'll just have to find out now, won't we? Gourry and I will go first if you'd like!"

Gourry winced but shrugged, Lina hit him with enough fireballs as it was there probably wasn't much difference.

Zelgadiss shook his head. "I found my way here first, Lina."

Lina grinned with an easy shrug. "Suit yourself. Amelia can put up a shield for you two anyway!"

"Miss Lina..." Amelia spoke up tentatively, pulling her hand away with a wary pained look. "It's warming up again."

"Alright." Lina stated easily, plopping down and lying back with a grin. "Bring it on."

The four of them waited, staring at the ceiling.

Lina grinned as the fire lit up the chamber, Gourry shuddered unconsciously, and Amelia and Zelgadiss shared a sheepish glance.

The flames mellowed down, retreating back into the cave and Lina stood quickly, running to the face.

"Aright, big guy, open up!" She ordered patting it on the chin and grinning at Zelgadiss. "After you two."

Zelgadiss smiled and Amelia marched up from.

"Right!" She declared motioning Zelgadiss forward. "Give me hand Mr. Zelgadiss!"

"**_BOMB DIEM WIND!_**" She cried, shooting the spell over and over again, Zelgadiss caught on immediately joining in and Lina pouted.

"Hey that's my move!" She growled irritably and Amelia cast her a smug look.

"Well you're always stealing my entrances and it seemed like the best way!" She reasoned smugly and Lina slumped her shoulders in defeat.

"She's got you there." Gourry agreed with an easy chuckle and Lina let out a little sigh before raising her head with a grin. "Alright, alright."

"**LEVITATION!**" They princess and the chimera cried in unison, moving their floating bubble to the face mouth.

"Besides, Lina." Zelgadiss called out from within. "You just stole the move from me anyway."

They duo laughed and flung themselves into the void before Lina could have a chance to respond.

She stamped furiously, tugging on hair with a hot-headed growl.

"Oh! You're not getting away that easy! **_BOMB DIEM WIND!_**"


	33. Episode 033: Now It's Personal!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 033: Has Anyone Seen Xelloss or Filia? **

**********

* * *

********Now It's Personal! Sorta...  
**

* * *

Lina shot out into an empty room and swore bitterly as the swirling air died down.

"You know, Gourry..." She stated more to herself than the twitching pile of swordsman at her feet. "I don't think they take me seriously anymore..."

"Gahhh..." Came the wary response from the floor as Gourry tried to sit up and Lina nodded sagely.

"You may be right, Gourry." She stated thoughtfully, clapping him on the back as he finally made it to his knees, knocking him back to the ground, and gesturing into the air, determined as the swordsman stared up at her warily.

"I guess we'll just have to find that treasure before them, won't we?" She asked happily, pleased with both the challenge as well as the chance to prove herself. "Then they'll have to start listening to me again!"

Gourry broke into a grin despite himself, finally rising to his feet and dusting off his armor. "I guess so. Which way now, Lina?"

Lina frowned, glancing around. "I don't know... let's check the floor and walls. Look for some sort of trigger."

"Right." Gourry replied, surveying their surroundings determinedly and Lina gave him a small smile of appreciation before scouring their stone surrounding with her piercing ruby gaze.

I'm gonna beat you Amelia, you too Zel... _Huh... wonder where Xelloss and Filia got too? _

* * *

"Do you think they're behind us?" Amelia asked, biting her lip as she followed Zelgadiss down the hallway, glancing around warily for any new traps... er... doors...

"Soon enough." Zelgadiss replied distractedly, running a hand over the wall to his right.

Hmm... Chewing Gum... no wonder the texture seemed odd... yuck...

He wondered briefly how chewing gum would make it all the way down here and then shrugged it off.

"You don't think they're in some sort of trouble, do you Mr. Zelgadiss?" The princess asked nervously, glancing back into the darkness.

The chimera smiled softly, and then gave a little snort, turning back to her inspection. "If anyone or anything bumps into a grumpy Lina Inverse in a dark underground passage, I'd say they would come out on the loosing side."

Amelia grinned, before frowning slightly. "She does seem a little more edgy than usual, doesn't she?"

"Probably just all this monster business." He replied with a shrug, Lina's bad mood hardly a concern when he had his own perpetuating melancholy to consider. Still... he doubted even Xelloss would find a grumpy Lina fun for long.

And as for Xelloss, he was certainly seeming more distracted than usual, where was that fruitcake anyway?

The chimera looked around edgily, as though expecting said fruitcake to phase in any moment, just the thought of him being enough to summon him.

He felt Amelia's gaze on him and shook off the unnecessary paranoia.

"Come on Amelia." He stated, turning forward determinedly, bashing all thoughts purple from his mind... and any robin's egg blue ones that might slip in with them. "Let's find this thing first, we haven't found anything just the two of us in quite some time."

Amelia blushed, thankfully it went unseen as he boldly marched on and she nodded happily.

"Okay!" She declared picking up her pace to meet his.

Then, one minute they were walking forward, the picture of smooth and chipper determination, and then the next they noticed something terrible...

There was no floor...

They dropped like stones, the fact that one was stone not going unnoticed in his mind as he sunk to the bottom and the princess swam her way up, gasping for air in the darkness.

"Mr... Mr... Zelgadiss?" She clattered nervously, the sound of her voice and shivers echoing of the stone cavern. "M... Mr... Zel... Zelgadiss?"

Zelgadiss crossed his arms, glaring out into the dark and murky water.

He tapped his foot in silent irritation, there not really being any other kind under such circumstances, and found a stroke of luck in this action as his foot found a little bump in the stone floor.

He went over all possible out comes of pushing such a "button" and then, giving his current situation, decided to press it.

* * *

"Grrr... alright!" Lina yelled, pulling on her hair in irritation and slumping to the ground. "I give up!"  
She lay back, glaring up into nowhere as Gourry came to her side, unable to keep a smile off his face.

"Uhn..." She groaned, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples tiredly. "What's wrong with whoever built this temple!"

She sighed, her eyes popping open as she debated her next course of action, admitting defeat obviously not an option for Lina Inverse.

It was then, as she was staring up into nothing that she noticed that it wasn't nothing...

She bit her lip sitting up with a frown, arching a brow nervously.

"Oh... it _can't_ be that easy..." She grumbled, standing to her feet and hurling a fireball into the darkness, causing the swordsman to flinch warily at the familiar call.

Sure enough, the liquid fire painted their path in an ember-bathed light.

"Alright." Lina nodded, finally starting to catch on. "So first, we go down, then through, then up..."

She grinned, stretching in anticipation as Gourry waited for the painful "explaining" part to be over so he could just take her lead.

"So..." She stated with an easy shrug. "Either they were really creative, or the next trap will take us down..."

She pointed down with her finger beaming up at Gourry. "You ready, Gourry?"

Gourry grinned, secretly relieved she hadn't asked him if he'd gotten all that. "Yep, up now, down later, right Lina?"

Lina beamed brighter, proud as always when he put things together so well.

"That's right, Gourry!" She agreed, latching on to his arm with a grin. "Up now, down later!"

"**LEVITATION!**"


	34. Episode 034: A Wet Reunion!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

* * *

**********Episode 034: A Wet Reunion? **

**********

* * *

********Down Sooner Rather Than Later!  
**

* * *

**"**Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cried again, lighting the darkness around her and trying to peer into the dark murky waters to get a view of him.

No use, they were really dark.

She swallowed nervously, hoping there wasn't some other sort of trap down here, some sort of living trap...

Of course, she realized with a small sweatdrop, if there was they'd probably have to ride it or something...

As if her thoughts were a cue there came a great rumbling from all around and Amelia's eye grew wide.

"Mr. Zelgadiss!"

* * *

"Ha!" Lina cried triumphantly, her feet touching the ledge.

Gourry, who was gripping her thin waist for dear gave a weak grin as she hoisted him up by his wrist.

"Thanks Lina." He murmured appreciatively, trying to make out there surroundings in the darkness. "Where are we?"

"LIGHTING!" Lina called, illumining the darkness eagerly.

She grinned at Gourry, nodding on. "Well, only one way to go now!"

Gourry gave an easy shrug following her along.

He didn't say anything, but if Zel and Amelia had already gone this way, they were way ahead of them by now.

He didn't say so of course, Lina wouldn't like to hear that; no she wouldn't like to hear that at all...

Besides, he was sure she already knew.

He secretly believed Lina knew everything.

* * *

Amelia cried out as the water began lowering at a drastic amount.

She treaded franticly and then gave up; soon she'd be standing in it anyway.

Sure enough, once the water was just below eye-level she moved her glowing orb of light to once again try and find the chimera's position.

There! Bristly lavender spikes straight ahead!

As well as two very annoyed aquamarine shards appraising her dryly.

"Oh! Mr. Zelgadiss!" She cooed, doggy paddling her way over just to get there faster.

The water had dropped too around two feet when she set her feet back down and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"I was so worried!" She cried and he smiled softly, patting her warily on the back.

"I'm fine Amelia." He reassured her, pulling away to meet her eyes calmly.

"I found a button." He explained, motioning around as the water was now nothing more than a trickle heading down to a large drain. "And apparently it drains out the water. If I hadn't been made of stone there was no way I could have got to it and pressed it in such deep waters."

"Oh! Mr. Zelgadiss!" She praised with admiring eyes. "See? You are so amazing!"

Zelgadiss blushed, turning aside with a little cough. "Thanks. Amelia... erm... you too."

Amelia grinned, she knew she was taking it a bit too far but she had been so worried.

"Come on." He stated, looking for an end to the awkward blushing. "Let's try and find the next clue."

"Um..." Amelia stated, backing up and tugging on his soaked sleeve. "Look at the drain."

Zelgadiss followed her finger and noticed immediately what was wrong, a sense of foreboding dread washing over him.

"Do you think it's full?" Amelia asked, and sure enough, the last of the water fit into it but it was an almost perfect fit, nothing else would fit in there they were certain of that.

"No..." He murmured softly, shaking his head. "I think it only had enough room for that exact amount of water."

Amelia blinked at him, perplexed. "Why would they do that?"

He looked around warily, eyeing their surroundings.

"Cause and effect." He replied shortly, not liking where this was going at all.

"What do you mean?" She asked, growing uncomfortable herself and inching closer to him.

"The water is a weight that has to be settled on some sort of scale..." He murmured as he tried to anticipate what would happen next. "That's the cause..."

"So what's the effect?" The princess asked, in a small voice looking up at him nervously.

The walls groaned heavily around them, the right and the left beginning to move slowly together.

"That would be the effect." He muttered dryly.

* * *

"You hear that?" Lina asked, pausing and holding out a hand to halt the swordsman.

The walls groaned again and Gourry's hand moved instinctively to his sword.

Lina shook her head, grabbing his wrist.

She looked up at him. "I think..."

Her thoughts were cut short as the walls moved again, this time shaking the whole of the tunnel and knocking her forward.

Gourry caught her quickly and she grinned sheepishly up at him as he let her go.

"Thanks Gourry." She replied warily, biting her lip.

"You may want to keep a hand on my shoulder." She stated dryly, glancing back at him. "In case the floor suddenly drops out on us."

"Oh right, up now, down later..." Gourry replied knowingly, and Lina shook her head, that sage-like expression looking so silly on his features.

"Right, and since out of the two of us, I'm the only one that can fly..." She reasoned, she felt his hand clamp down on her shoulder almost immediately and she grinned, leading them on.

_Hopefully, that sound means Zel and Amelia ran into some trouble! Ha, got you guys!_

* * *

"What should we do?" Amelia asked nervously, looking up at the chimera as she clutched his sleeve nervously. "Do we fly back up or wait to see if there's another clue down here?"

Zelgadiss looked around, shaking his head. "I'm not sure..."

His ear twitched suddenly and he looked up.

"Lina and Gourry are coming." He stated calmly.

"That's great!" Amelia replied happily, clasping her hands together at their good fortune. "Now they can look up there and we can look down here. There's nothing can stand in our way if we have the power of both Teamwork and Justice on our side!"

The chimera arched a brow at her Justice pose warily. He had really wanted to get first dibbs on this one, but she had a point...

"Lina!" He called, cupping his hands together to strengthen the yell. "Down here!"

"Zel?" Came the amused and mildly shocked response as Lina glanced down at them. "What are you doing down there?"

"Opening doors." He replied wanly. "Is there one open up there?"

Lina blinked, looking at the wall coming into meet her, sure enough there was a passageway the exact same size as the one she was in now.

"No." She replied evenly, shaking her head with false concern. "Anything down there?"

Zelgadiss looked around a final time. "No just the drain..."

He glanced back up, only to find Lina and the swordsman gone and let out a snarl.

"Damn it Lina!"

* * *

"Lina... that wasn't nice..." Gourry stated carefully, his tone as though scolding one of his unruly sisters.

Lina shrugged with a laid back grin. "What can I say, I want first dibbs."

"Yeah." Gourry replied calmly, crossing his arms and appraising her coolly. "But isn't this treasure supposed to have something for each of us? Do you really need first dibbs? I mean, Zel would share his copy of the Clair thingy if he got it."

"Claire Bible, Gourry." Lina corrected automatically.

"Right, that." He replied with a pointed nod, as though this only added to his point. "And that sword and eye, thing, we don't have to share those so why are you acting like this?"

Lina grimaced, and shook her head. "Not now, Gourry. I'll explain later for now..."

She shrugged, giving him a wan smile.

"Let's just say I really need the distraction..."


	35. Episode 035: Teamwork Required!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 035: Teamwork Required? **

**********

* * *

********Hai! Ichi, Ni, San!  
**

* * *

The chimera glared darkly up at the spot where Lina had been mere moments ago before shaking it off sullenly.

"Come on Amelia." He stated tiredly. "I guess it's our turn to play catch up."

Amelia smiled sadly, and gave a little shrug. "Well, at least we know we're headed the right way."

Zelgadiss nodded calmly, turning his attention to the princess. "Ready?"

Amelia beamed back at him cheerfully. "Ready."

"LEVITATION!" The duo cried in unison, floating up to the hall above them as the walls continued to move in. They were no match for the speed of magic however, and the pair safely landed at the stone opening as the walls slid to a grinding halt.

"Why did they stop?" Amelia yelled over the reverberation. "There's still room!"

Zelgadiss eyed the roughly three by three foot hole down and shook his head as the echo died down. "I don't know maybe..."

His deductions were cut short as a sing torrent of water shot upward from the open. He turned to shield himself and the princess but found it unnecessary as the water cut short barely an inch above their hallway, sending a small, cold flood over their feet, but not much else.

"Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked nervously as the rush of water subsided, dropping back down the chasm.

"It's nothing, just the real door to that place." He replied with a wan smirk. "Not everyone looking for this treasure has to be magic users I suppose."

"Wow." Amelia stated perplexed. "That was pretty thoughtful of them, huh Mr. Zelgadiss?"

"I suppose so." He replied with a shrug, not really caring one way or the other. "Come on. Let's get going before the room resets itself."

"Resets?" Amelia echoed, and the sound of grinding far below them met her in response and she nodded, both walking briskly down the hall.

"Right."

* * *

"Hmm..." Lina murmured, tapping her lips thoughtfully. "Which one... not the middle one, although..."

There were three tunnels branching out before them and nothing else.

Nothing above them, nothing below them. Lina had made sure.

"Well this just throws my deductions to hell." She muttered, tugging on her hair in frustration. "I mean really! Three tunnels! Who thinks of these stupid riddles, I mean this isn't even a riddle! It's just pure luck! Arrgh!"

"Say Lina?" Gourry stated tapping the inscriptions above them. "What about these scratches. They look like words."

"They _are_ words, Gourry." Lina replied indulgently. "But they're in ryuzoku, and I'm not versed in that, I'm afraid."

"Oh." He replied that making sense enough to him.

"Who is?" He asked curiously.

Lina felt her forced grin tighten. "Well, Filia for one. But she doesn't seem to be around, now does she."

"Huh, nope." Gourry agreed sadly, arching a brow. "Who else?"

Lina murmured something under her breath that sounded oddly like Zel-burgers.

Gourry blinked, that couldn't be it.

Oh, Lina did _not_ like to repeat herself, and she seemed more volatile than normal...

The swordsman weighed his options and decided he'd have to brave it.

"Uh, who?" Gourry asked as delicately as he could.

"Zelgadiss!" Lina snarled, clenching her fist. "Zelgadiss, _okay?_"

Oh, well that made a lot more sense.

Huh, now if he could only remember what "volatile" meant...

"Say, but Lina..." He mused, a thought suddenly coming to him as he tapped his chin while Lina went on about pulling on her fiery mane. "Didn't we just leave Zelgadiss back there in that room we passed?"

Lina groaned sinking to the floor.

"Well, I suppose I don't need to berate you too hard then, Lina." The chimera's cool voice cut in as he and the princess entered the space before the three-way fork. "Seems you learned not to be so rude next time."

"How could you Miss Lina!" Amelia cried in despair. "Don't you know how important teamwork is in treasure hunting and in life! Why it's almost as important as Justice itself!"

Lina proceeded to bang her head against the wall.

"Lina..." Zelgadiss asked quietly, unsure how to approach the sorceress'. "Are you aright? You haven't been yourself lately. You seem more... "

"Volatile." Gourry added in quickly.

"Yes." The chimera agreed, appraising the swordsman with a curious brow before turning back to Lina. "Is there something we should know about?"

Lina gritted her teeth, standing to her feet with a forced grin. "Let's just get the treasure, and get off this island. If it's still a problem I'll let you know then. Okay?"

Zelgadiss nodded, turning away with a shrug and Amelia bit her lip nervously.

"Hey, Zel..." Gourry whispered quickly. "What does volatile mean again?"

"**Jellyfish**!" Came the sorceress' cry as she kicked him away from the face-faulting chimera and into a wall.

"That's what it means, Gourry." Zelgadiss replied, shaking his head as Amelia blinked in surprise.

"Oh..." He replied weakly, picking himself back up. "Thanks..."

"So, never mind that." Lina stated, refreshed as she pointed up to the inscriptions. "What do _those_ mean?"

Zelgadiss read them to himself silently, finding their meaning in his mental archive before coolly replying:

"1... 2... 3..."

"One, two, three?" Lina repeated in disbelief earning a wary shrug from the chimera.

"That's what it says." He replied evenly.

Lina groaned, sinking to the floor and pounding on it in frustration. "That's absolutely no help at all!"

"I agree." Zelgadiss replied dryly, crossing his arms. "What do you want to do, Lina?"

"Well..." She replied pulling herself together and standing to her feet. "If Xelloss and Filia were here I'd say each team splits up and takes one. But with only two of us..."

"I could go alone." Amelia offered and Lina quickly shook her head, holding up a hand.

"No. If there is another trap, you might need Zelgadiss with you for help." She stated softly, giving a little shrug. "Or as a shield."

"Thanks, Lina." He replied deadpan and she beamed back at him before turning back to the tunnels thoughtfully.

"No." She reasoned softly. "We'll split up again, and leave one tunnel alone."

"Which one, Miss Lina?" Amelia asked nervously, eyeing each of them in turn.

"The middle one." She deduced almost immediately. "It's either the right one, or the wrong one in these sort of situations, right Zel?"

"Generally." He agreed easily.

"Right." Lina nodded resolutely, smiling back at each of them. "So if we hit a wall, we'll come back and convene here. If only one team comes back, they should assume the other tunnel is the correct choice."

"And if both come back, then the middle is the correct one." Zelgadiss concluded with a nod. "Good plan."

Amelia beamed thrusting a fist into the air. "Alright! Who's first?"

Lina smirked, unable to resist. "Oh come on, we all know I'm number one!"

Silence met the self-proclamation and she glared at them dangerously.

"**_Right?_**"

"Um sure!" Amelia replied nervously. "Go Miss Lina!"

"Whatever." Zelgadiss replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Gourry grinned, giving a little chuckle.

"Well, ladies first then." He offered, motioning her onward cheerfully.

Lina grinned, her anxiety temporarily abated as she headed into the tunnel.

"Now that's what I'm talking about."


	36. Episode 036: A Tight Fit!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 036: A Tight Fit? **

**********

* * *

********Xelloss! Where Are You?  
**

* * *

"How much further do you think it is, Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked curiously, glancing up at him in the dim light.

"I don't know." He replied tiredly nodding to some paintings of smiley-faces on the tunnel walls. "It's becoming more and more obvious that this place was set up by a mad man."

"Or woman." He amended as an afterthought, noting to himself that some of these drawings reflected Lina's own art style.

"Yeah..." Amelia replied quietly glancing to her own side before squinting ahead in the darkness. "Still, at least there can't be much tunnel left..."

In the other chosen tunnel Lina was wondering the same thing. That, and where the hell Xelloss ran off to when you needed him!

"Arrgh." She growled, stomping forward darkly. "Let's get a move on Gourry. This whole place is starting to get to me."

"Say, Lina." Gourry spoke up from a little ways back. "I was thinking, and... um... I think I know what's wrong."

"Oh?" Lina asked, turning back to look at him, genuinely curious. "Tell me what ya think then, Gourry."

"I think..." He declared solemnly, meeting her ruby gaze with his own concerned one. "That you miss Yade."

Lina rubbed her temple tiredly. "Sure, Gourry. Why not."

"I knew it, see..." He went on, not noticing her sarcasm. "You started getting real down about the time that she left, I mean that's when all this started."

"I guess it would look that way, huh Gourry?" She stated softly, looking away tiredly. "But really, I felt this way while she was here. What troubles me is that once she was gone the dreams..."

She broke off, opting to back-whack him hard across chest instead of going on. "Damn it, Jellyfish-Brains! What did I tell you about trying to get inside my head?"

"Not to cause it would only give me a headache." He replied sheepishly.

She arched a red brow at him coolly. "And?"

"If it didn't... er... you would?" He added on, arching his own brow nervously.

"Right." She agreed turning back to the tunnel before them. "So stay out of it, and instead let's focus on getting out of this tunnel and grabbing up that treasure!"

"Okay, Lina." He agreed easily, relieved she wasn't too angry.

Lina began to head on but before she could get more than a few feet she heard a loud "ow!" from the swordsman behind her.

"Quit fooling around, Gourry!" She yelled back, continuing on without him.

"But Lina!" He whined back. "I'm stuck!"

Lina blinked, turning around in irritation. "Oh, come on Gourry, there's no way you can be stuck! See? I'm getting by just..."

Ah, apparently she had spoken too soon, for indeed he was stuck.

Lina sighed, grabbing her head in shame. "Why me?"

"Try turning sideways." She coached, coming back to help him.

"I can't." He whined, nervously. "The space is too short and too tight, I can hardly move."

Lina bit her bottom lip, nodding in irritation. "Alright."

She lowered her hand to the ground below them darkly. "I'm tired of playing treasure hunter, time to blast this place."

"NO!" Gourry yelped, eyes wide in horror, but Lina just cast him a pitiless grin and declared calmly.

"**_DILL BRAND!_**" She declared loudly.

"What was that?" Amelia asked Zelgadiss wearily as they heard the rumbling from below.

"Oh no, she wouldn't..." The chimera muttered, but the cracks forming in the wall beside them told him otherwise.

"Lina!" Gourry yelped as they ground gave way below them. "I don't think this was good idea!"

"Call it tunnel-maintenance!" She yelled, dodging the falling rocks from above them. "Are you free?"

"Ow!" Was his response as a rock landed on his foot. "Yeah, but..."

"Then hang on!" She yelled, grabbing his wrist and turning forward.

"RAYWING!" She declared pulling them quickly through the falling rubble, the swordsman yelping all the way as he was pelted with a numerous amount of large rocks.

"Come on, Amelia!" Zelgadiss cried, pushing her in front of him and running after her as the left side of the tunnel began to splinter loudly. "Hurry!"

Both pairs shot out of the tunnel into an open cavern, two large clouds of dust following their exits.

"Lina..." Zelgadiss ground out, standing up darkly, covered from head to toe in dust.

"What?" She asked, shaking the dust from her cape which had gotten the brunt of it. "Gourry got stuck?"

"Is Mr. Gourry okay?" Amelia asked hesitantly.

"Huh?" Lina asked, turning around to look at the swordsman. "Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't he..."

Said swordsman was now unconscious, too many falling rocks it would seem.

"Oooh, sorry Gourry." She stated softly, kneeling beside him with a little wince.

"Um..." Amelia asked hesitantly, joining her side. "Do you need to perform, like... um... mouth to..."

"NO!" Lina declared quickly, horror and a brilliant blush etched on her features. "He's fine! Really!"

"See?" She asked, picking him up by the shoulders and shaking him violently. "Come on Gourry, open your eyes. Tell 'em you're fine! Just fine!"

Amelia and Zelgadiss blinked, sharing a look that said neither one was particularly convinced.

"Come on"! Lina pleaded, turning to slapping him across the face instead. "Come on, you big Jellyfish! Don't make do this! Please..."

A low whine of pained protest met her slaps and pleading and she beamed happily back at the duo, letting Gourry fall back hard onto the floor.

"See?" She stated happily, giggling nervously and gripping the back of her head. "He's fine! Just fine!"

Amelia blinked, whispering over to Zelgadiss. "How did he get stuck anyway? Our tunnel was huge."

A look of understanding appeared on the chimera's features and replied quickly. "Ah! Because we had tunnel Number Three. That's was probably the biggest one."

"And so Mr. Gourry and Miss Lina's was the smallest." Amelia put together with an adoring smile. "You're so smart Mr. Zelgadiss."

The chimera blushed, and cleared his throat. "Uh, thanks. Amelia."

"Grr..." Lina growled, slamming her fist against the ground briefly before getting to her feet. "And now we have to find the next clue. Anyone just wanna blast a hole in the wall, instead? Please?"

"I don't think that'll be necessary, Lina." Zelgadiss replied, pointing over her shoulder as he finally had the opportunity to survey the rest of the chamber. "Look."

Lina and Amelia followed his gaze, the princess letting out a little gasp while Lina broke into an exasperated grin.

"Well... if that ain't obvious..." She declared dryly, unable to keep from smiling as she glanced at the gold gilded doors before them.

"Do you think its booby trapped too?" Amelia asked nervously, her and the chimera joining Lina's side.

"Only one way to find out!" Lina replied wanly, slapping the chimera on the back.

"Go ahead and open it, Zel."

Zelgadiss blinked at her darkly. "Thanks Lina."

Lina grinned widely.

"Any time!"

Zelgadiss shook his head darkly, meeting the princess' worried gaze and giving her a reassuring smile before heading over to the doors.

The knobs turned easily, no traps, no riddles...

However...

Nothing could prepare them for what was on the other side...


	37. Episode 037: Lookout! It's a Luau!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 037: Lookout! It's a Luau? **

**********

* * *

********The First Item is Found!  
**

* * *

Further away, down the beach Chicken Boy and Zebra Boy arrived before Vallune's tent; naturally bickering all the way.

The high-pitched giggles that sounded uncomfortably like nervous and shrill screams kept them from interrupting however, and instead they decided to gather their men on their own.

Probably wise as mutiny was afoot, on grounds that the captain was beginning to appear a ninny.

Further down the beach there was another shrill giggle to be heard, and with it several in-key but oh-so-high voices all coursing together in glee as Lokkin turned the stick before him over the open fire.

Tied to the stick was a, thankfully, still fully clothed Sherrast.

"See!" Lokkin chimed up proudly, his Grin-choir continuing with their five-part harmony, the higher-scale of course. "You'll be dry in no time!"

Sherrast growled through her gag and thrashed wildly against the stick and her bonds.

Hee! Lokkin was so glad that he had found those "magic bandages" in that treasure room at the bottom of that odd cave that exited off the coast of the ocean.

They were the only things he took, afterall the only other thing in that cave was:

* * *

"Xelloss!" Lina cried in awe, glancing over to the other side. "Filia? But… but…"

"Oh, but it just seemed so much easier this way!" Xelloss stated easily, rubbing the back of his head with a mock-sheepish grin.

"And it's a good thing we came too!" He went on waving a hand at the wall behind him. "Afterall, it seems us and the King aren't the only ones who've been here lately!"

Behind him the wall declared in big proud letters: _Lokkin was here! Too late, eh Stony?_

"Mr. Lokkin?" Amelia asked warily as the chimera fumed at her side.

"I'm gonna kill him, gonna kill him…" He grumbled trailing off to himself as he glared daggers at the mocking words.

Xelloss grinned proudly, holding out something wrapped in leather. "And you see? We found one of the two items!"

"Ooh!" Lina giggled, running over quickly, her hands stretched out eagerly and all sourness gone. "Let me see! Let me see!"

Xelloss beamed cheerily, letting her take it from him before turning to Filia smoothly.

"Now Filia, about the ownership of that Draconic Tea Set…"

Filia blinked, holding it to her bosom haughtily. "By all definitions of the word Draconic it should be mine, Xelloss!"

"Yes, but that was obviously painted by a _black_ dragon." He replied easily, pointing at some of the inscriptions towards the lid to prove his point. "And you do owe me so many already…"

"Mine…" She growled out, her eyes glowing red darkly at the thought of some monster trying to keep her from adding to her pottery collection.

"Fine." He said with a little shrug, cracking an eye mischievously. "It'll just be more fun to steal it from you later anyway!"

He giggled, and she growled, furious that she couldn't pull free her mase less many valuable pots and surprisingly mases be lost in the fray.

"What is it, Lina?" Gourry asked, approaching the sorceress as she finally undid the leather wrapping.

"It's… it's a sword, Gourry…" She whispered in awe, grinning up at him despite herself. "It's _your_ sword! It's the Sword of Sacrifice!"

"My sword?" He echoed, a bright light dawning on his features as it sunk in and he grabbed it from her holding it high. "Alright! My sword!"

Lina grinned, clapping him on the back. "Well until I decide otherwise anyway."

"No way, Lina!" Gourry declared, fashioning it to his belt possessively. "This is my sword."

"Yeah, but what's yours is mine. And you never did give me back my Sword of Light, Gourry." Lina replied easily, as though all of this should be obvious. "And you promised too…"

"I did not!" Gourry exclaimed in outrage. "Besides, you don't even use your own sword, Lina!"

"That's because my Ragna Blade is superior." Lina declared with a lazy shrug. "You know that."

"Then why do you want this one?" Gourry asked in confusion.

Lina grinned, raising a finger happily. "Because this one matches my belt, and if there's anything I learned today it's you gotta have a good sense of fashion!"

"What?"

Amelia smiled sheepishly, glancing from the writing on the wall to the irate chimera.

"Well at least he left the sword, right?" She stated cheerfully.

"It's not that…" Zelgadiss muttered, looking to the side gloomily. "The little bastard can't teleport that means he got in here…"

The gloom clouds grew bigger.

"The same way we did, but faster…"

Amelia grinned proudly, clapping him on the back. "Well I'm sure he's just trying to impress you, Mr. Zelgadiss. You're obviously like a father figure to him now. Mr. Dynast was probably a terrible father figure."

Zelgadiss blinked at her…

If he was a father-figure…

Amelia… _blush_… was a mother-figure… _well that was quaint way to explain his weakness when it came to her… breasts… end that thought…_

And Lokkin was a teenager…

A foul-mouthed teenager…

A foul-mouthed, perverted, teenager…

A foul-mouthed, perverted, teenager, who had gotten here first!

"Gonna kill him…" Came the growl…

"My pot…" Came the wine…

"My sword…" Came the order…

* * *

"My virtue!" Came the shrill cry as Jarrek bolted from the tent, running for the ocean as fast as he could go.

"My Lala!" Came the forlorn cry as the drunken "king" chased after him fervently.

"**_WAIT!_**"


	38. Episode 038: Purple is the New Pink!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 038: Purple is the New Pink? **

**********

* * *

********Welcome to Fanmanian!  
**

* * *

**"After an eventful escape from the Isle of Lala; on a boat _commandeered_ from a crew of blood-thirsty cross-dressing pirates! (_cough_) We arrived here on the Isle of Fanmanian! Apparently it's also known as the 'Smile-Shaped Isle', for reasons obvious to anyone save Gourry. (_glower_) So far the Island has made me smile! It's been great! There are Hotels, Theme Parks, and all the food a pretty little weary traveler like me can eat!" **

"Well maybe not _that _much Lina…"

"**Quiet Gourry! This is _my_ narrative time!**"

"Itai…"

"**Ahem, anyway it'd be perfect if it weren't for one little thing…**"

"Why is everything purple!" Lina screamed in frustration, earning weary looks from not only her traveling companions but the village passerby-s. Who all were wearing purple to further add to her point.

And os so many shades, lavender, lilac, violet, mauve...

Purple hued hair, make up, why it didn't stop at clothing, no. Hell a few of them even had painted their whole faces the shade of a ripe plum.

Oh, and all those Hotels, Theme Parks, and _all _of the food was purple!

It was pretty creepy, really.

"Maybe everyone here is just as big of a fruitcake as you, Xelloss." Zelgadiss offered smugly, he was in a far better mood now that it seemed they had manged to loose Lokkin back on that Island. Although... Amelia... well she missed him and that was a bit depressing. Still, he was for the most part almost chipper.

Xelloss, annoyed more by the chimera's perkiness than the insult beamed at him cheerily.

"Hm, why they do seem to have such good taste here, don't they?" He replied easily, turning and staring through a window, finger arched pointedly. "Why just look at this tea selection!"

Jarrek arched a weary brow as Filia proceed to just that, much to Xelloss bemusement and Zelgadiss shook his head, glum mood once more redefined.

"Did you just say Xelloss?" A purple haired pixie asked eagerly, tapping Zelgadiss on the shoulder before clasping her hands together hopefully.

Zelgadiss blinked, appraising her matching pig-tails and odd PJ-esk ensemble. Where did you get a robe like that? It had to be homemade, he was grudgingly impressed.

"Well, yeah." He replied with a lazy shrug. "Why?"

His careless response was met with a shrill and giddy cry of glee as she cupped her mouth with her clasped hands, eyes wide.

Xelloss arched a brow, cracking an eye wearily. "Oh dear, I have this sudden feeling of impending doom... This can't be good."

"It's him!" She cried waving frantically at the passerby-s and pointing wildly at the weary mazoku. "It Xelloss! He's returned!"

"Xelloss?" One of them asked in stunned disbelief. "Our savior?"

"Yes!" She cried, now bouncing up and down wildly. "The leader of the revolution himself! It's he!"

"It's him?" Echoed another, by now a small crowd was gathering around the seven new-comers. "It is him!"

"Hmm..." Xelloss stated, thinking hard about their descriptions before letting out a deflated. "Oh crap."

"Your savior?" Lina echoed incredulously.

"The leader of the revolution?" Amelia wondered aloud as Zelgadiss shook his head tiredly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"_Returned?_" Filia accused dangerously, quite certain of just what must had happened in this town.

"Well you see..." Xelloss began, taking a deep breath only to finally pull the lime-light fully on himself, thus forcing the surrounding crowd to share a united intake of breath.

"Xelloss!" They cried, letting it out as they ran towards him.

"Oh! Well, see ya!" Xelloss stated quickly, popping out of existence.

"What?" Filia snarled and Lina pointed high into the air.

"Run!" She cried, tugging on Gourry and the two bolting into a nearby alley.

"Come on, Amelia!" Zegladiss called, pulling her quickly into the tea shop.

"Here Fifi, you can hide in here!" Jarrek offered quickly, lifting the lid off of a trashcan "I'll lead them away and then you can make it back to the Inn."

"Oh Jarrek, be careful." She stated softly, cupping his cheek gently.

"I will, now in you get!" He replied quickly, flashing her a devonare grin before slaming the lid down on her.

"Halt!" He declared, holding up both hands and halting the mob.

"Where's Xelloss?" One girl asked haugtily.

"Yes!" Another one asked, looking around nervously. "He never even got to see the tea set I made him!"

_What is it with those two and tea? _Jarrek wondered in dark confusion, outwardly giving a wide grin as he spread his hands welcomely. "Not to worry ladies. I love ladies like you!"

"Yeah, so?" Another huffed, pusing her way to the front. "What's that to us?"

Jarrek grinned brightly, pulling a pair of shades out of nowhere.

"Why everything, I'd imagine." He replied swiftly, looking out at the crowd smugly from over the rims of his new shades.

"I am his _manager_ afterall."

The mirad of femine and oddly, even a few masculine screams that met this declaration made Jarrek swell with pride.

Oh yes, he was brilliant.

* * *

"Huh." Lina mused as a parade of fan girls were led past their alley and on down the street by a very smug Jarrek. "Wonder what line he fed those girls?"

"Where'd all the guys go?" Gourry asked, blinking and turning to Lina for an explanation. Lina had an explanation for everything.

Lina shrugged, peeking out of the alley. "Dunno. No one seems to be left in the street at all..."

"Hey!" Lina thought suddenly, glancing up at Gourry with shiny eyes. "You know what this means!"

"What?" Gourry asked, being denied one explanation making him both twice as confused and twice as curious.

"No lines!" She replied, rubbing her hands together greedily as Gourry's own eyes lit up.

"FOOD!" They declared to each other in unision, before bolting away to the nearest resturant.

Who cared if the food was purple if it came with easy access?

* * *

"Where are Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry going?" Amelia asked, glancing from the store window to Zelgadiss curiously.

Zelgadiss arched a weary brow, noting that partictular martch to be the pair's "FOOD! FOOD! FOOD!" march...

"Who knows?" He muttered, turning away from the window and glancing around the shop.

"How many different types of purple tea do you think there can be?" He asked Amelia, eying a box of mulberry suspiciously.

"Too many." Amelia sighed, putting down her own box of alfalfa perplexed. It was then that she noticed the flyer on the table.

"Ooh, look Mr. Zelgadiss!" She cooed brandishing it happily. "There's a play tonight. It looks like..."

"It looks like it starts in about an hour or so..." Zelgadiss determined, tapping his finger as he deduced the time from the sunlight outside. "Huh. You know, I have been feeling a sense of culture withdrawl."

"Yeah, the others aren't really that keen on emersing themselves in the culture of a new town..." Amelia replied, frowning slightly.

"More keen on _emersing_ themselves in the food than the people." Zelgadiss added, sharing a small smile with princess.

Amelia blushed, and whispered shyly. "I like how much we have in common, Mr. Zelgadiss."

Zelgadiss flushed, coughing roughly and snatching the poster from her quickly.

"Right, well to the theater then." He declared tapping the piece paper as though it were all the the flyer's idea and he was just an innocent pawn.

Amelia giggled holding out her arm.

"Would you escort me properly, Mr. Zelgadiss?" She asked shyly. Her heart skipping a few beats as she waited on end.

Zelgadiss' own blush deeped and he coughed again. "Well... er... that is..."

Amelia sighed sadly, but threw on a smile. "That's okay, Mr. Zelgadiss."

Zelgadiss groaned inwardly, and set the flyer back on the table.

"Ah!" He stated a sudden thought occuring to him. "But I can get the door for you!"

Amelia blinked as he pulled open the door with a nervous bow and couldn't help but give him a small smile before passing through the threshold.

_It's a start then, isn't it, Mr. Zelgadiss..._

* * *

Filia poked her head up out of the trashcan, glancing around suspiciously before quickly hopping out.

It really had been brave of him to clean up the mess that Xelloss had left behind as usual but did he really have to hide her in the trashcan?

Shower. Yes, to the inn, and then a nice hot shower.

And finally, some well needed alone time.

Altough, she really wasn't sure who it was she needed be alone from at this point.

"Oh!" She huffed, stomping down the street and pulling a banana peel from her shoulder and tossing it aside with a wince. "Why can't anything ever be easy?"

* * *

Lina glanced around the deserted restaurant in irritation.

"Oh, where is everybody? This is the seventh place we've been!" Lina asked Gourry, knowing very well that there was no way he'd know.

"Looking for Xelloss?" He offered reasonably.

Lina blinked and stood from the table, slamming a fist aganst the table.

"Alright that's it!" She declared with rage. "No one bewitches an entire island then runs away thus stealing all the chefs in town! Not on my watch!"

Gourry blinked and shrugged. "Well... I can cook."

Lina felt as though her head was made of metal and he was a giant magnet given the forceful way she whipped said head around.

"Reeeallly?" She asked, her eyes growing to be the size of saucers. "Why Gourry, you never told me that!"

"Well really, I cook all the time when we're not at an inn, or when you're not doing the cooking." He replied with an easy shrug. "You're sure to have seen me."

Lina vuagely remembered him toasting a dumpling, but she had a feeling, well...

This might truly be the start of a _wonderful_ relationship...

"Show me..." She whispered softly, and Gourry grinned.

"Just find me an apron."


	39. Episode 039: But Why!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)  
_**

* * *

**********Episode 039: But Why? **

**********

* * *

********Three Tales of Dark Enchantment!  
**

* * *

Filia paced the floor restlessly, casting weary glances at the fiery sky as the sun prepared to set from off shore. Her room was beautiful, albeit quite purple; however it was missing something very important!

Her fiancé.

"Oooh!" She huffed, clenching her fists and glaring out at the tree lined and sandy shore. The sun's fading brilliance seemed to mock her as it reflected up at her from the clear ocean beyond and she wrinkled her nose in irritation before heading towards the door. "Why that Xelloss. This is all his fault, I'm going find him myself if I have too."

And so the dragoness set off to do just that.

* * *

Meanwhile in town, Lina fired off a round of applause, beaming up at Gourry cheerfully as he proceeded to sauté with one hand while lighting a flambé with the other.

Food, fire, and comedy. Lina realized she hadn't been this happy in a very long time.

"Say Gourry." She stated gently, unable to help the blush that wafted across her nose as she decided to focus out the window rather than on the swordsman's proud but genuine face. "You know, we should do this more often."

Gourry grinned; sprinkling some extra oil on yet another dish and causing it flare up with a loud hiss. Lina gasped, and turned back just in time to catch him giving her a happy grin.

"I like cooking for you, almost as I like fighting for you!" He declared easily, as though saying he'd pick up her laundry if it'd make her smile.

Lina blinked, a shy smile tugging on her features, and just for now, since they were alone and the food was almost putting her at ease she let it. After all…

"Yeah, Gourry. I like it too."

* * *

"So just when exactly are we going to do this?" He asked Sherrast, his manner cold and as distant as could be. Still, she could hear the disdain as it wove its way into her partner's tone.

She wasn't entirely pleased with how things were going herself. That miserable little wretch Lokkin had headed off and gotten here before her and was no doubt in a hurry to meet up with that stupid princess and her pet statue. This whole plan had gotten so off course she wondered how Lord Dynast could possibly think it was even still worth seeing out. Still, it really wasn't her job to think, it was her job to act. And as for the last card in their belt…

"It's still not time. Try and be patient you fool." She hissed, her eyes dark with raw glee as she gripped her staff tightly. "However, make no mistake. When it is we will make them suffer their every last breath for all of their insolence we've been forced to endure."

Lokkin watched at the pair cackled madly from their spot off the shore. He grinned darkly, knowing that neither one of them even sensed him let alone saw him. He was wondering when Dynast would decide to give Sherrast the hand she needed.

Oh well, neither of them were a match for Stony, let alone him. And as for the one called Xelloss, well Lokkin had a feeling that if you didn't have the element of surprise with that mazoku, you were dead.

Grinning to himself he retreated back into the foliage, heading off towards the town.

He wondered just what Stony and his princess were up to right about now.

* * *

"Wow, this place is packed." Amelia whispered, looking around to the costumed fans on either side. "Although… well it seems we found all of the men in town, haven't we Mr. Zelgadiss?"

"So… many… fruitcakes…" Zelgadiss declared mournfully, eying the room in terror. Indeed, apparently the only way for a man to be fashionable in this town was to dress like Xelloss himself. He shook his head as a large gaggle of Xelloss impersonators all tried to walk through the same doorway with their eyes closed. Half hit the frame, the others when on only to collide with people entering the auditorium.

The lights started to dim and Amelia leaned over and whispered softly. "What do you think the play will be about, Mr. Zelgadiss?"

For a moment he was distracted by Amelia's closeness but then in a moment of pure horror, it dawned on him just what this play would certainly be about…

"Behold!" A voice declared, drawing all eyes to the stage where a young boy who appeared to be dressed as Hellmaster Phibrizzo stood. He had a hand lifted pompously, a rather good impersonation Zelgadiss couldn't help but think, and the hand was directing the audience to the stage curtain as it rose to reveal a tree-lined beach, much like the one of this island. "WolfPack Island."

The audience cheered and the young Hellmaster paid them no mind walking purposefully to the other end of the stage, before raising his other hand commandingly.

"Home of Zelas, beautiful Queen and rose of the demon world!" He recited, giving a slight bow as the lights from the stage came to focus on a balcony on the set, made to look like a temple in the horizon. The Zelas impersonator, also male, flicked a cigarette and gave the audience a wolfish wink, invoking a cacophony of catcalls.

"I got a bad feeling about this…" Zelgadiss groaned softly, slipping down in his seat.

"Mr. Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked, looking at him nervously but he shook his head and she turned back to the stage.

"Ah Zelas!" The Hellmaster Harold cooed, clasping his hands together and looking heavenward. "Mistress of the Isle and the one true love of the master of wolves, the iris of chaos, Xelloss!"

"The iris of chaos?" Amelia and Zelgadiss echoed in unison, giving each other a wary look. Their confusion however was roared over by the crowd as a green platform rose up out of the grassy hills on the set and towards the "temple."

The Xelloss impersonator beamed out at his fans, giving a small bow the caused the audience member on Zelgadiss' right to scream and then pass out.

Zelgadiss glanced from the unconscious fan and then back to the stage where "Xelloss" was taking a knee before his mistress. The chimera's brow tightened and a sweatdrop formed off his temple as he waited on edge.

"A very bad feeling about this…" He groaned softly.

"But alas!" Hellmaster cried, thrusting a finger heavenward, and casting a forlorn glance towards hell below. "All is not well, nay, love is not to be, for there is… another!"

"Lord Dynast!" He cried, collapsing as if just saying the name was ripping his heart in twain.

And as the audience booed, thunder crashed as a sound cue and the lights on stage flicker as in a swell of fog the Dynast impersonator arrived on the once clear beach.

Oh yes, he had _very_, _**very**_ bad feeling about this…

* * *

"Now ladies!" Jarrek declared, hands trust on his hips as he looked over said ladies seriously. "I really shouldn't do this…"

"Oh please, Mr. Jarrek!" One cooed, batting her mauve stained eyelashes at him temptingly. "But you really must tell us!"

"Yes!" Another cooed, latching onto his arm with her violet manicured hands. "We aren't like all of his other fans!"

"Please tell us what Xelloss really wants his fans to wear when they meet him!" The final lilac haired pixie begged, dropping to her knees and gripping his pant legs desperately.

Jarrek sighed, making a big show of it before beaming pleasantly at all the ladies awaiting his words.

"Alright, you seem like such nice girls afterall." He stated warmly, puffing up at the giggles his words invoked.

"So, what Xelloss really wants his fans to wear is this, and only this!" He declared, finger thrust up into the air importantly.

"Purple, underwear." He stated with dead seriousness.

The girls gasped and he nodded solemnly.

"If you're wearing purple underwear you might as well loose the clothes altogether…" He stated casually, giving a lazy shrug. "He won't see anything else but the underclothes anyway."

There was a long silent pause and then the girls burst out into a shrill chatter, giggled and squealing as they threw off their costumes giddily.

Jarrek grinned, eyeing the room appreciatively.

Oh yes, he was the master.

* * *

"Oooh!" Filia huffed, slamming her back into the nearest tree as she glared out at the horizon darkly. "Xelloss! Where are you!"

"Dragon's really aren't all that observant, are they?" A voice called down to her snidely from within the tree above. "Although it would appear you make up for it with just plain dumb luck, ne!"

"Xelloss!" She cried, looking straight up as he peered down at her with a smug grin.

"Wanted to find me just as bad as everyone else, eh Filia!" He chided with an even smugger grin than before and she glowered up at him, turning away with a snort.

"Hardly." She growled haughtily. "But my fiancé had to go clean up your mess by declaring himself your manager so I could escape. And well… they must be very persistent…"

"My manager?" Xelloss asked, snorting as he leaned back against the tree behind him wanly. "Oh yes, I'm certain that _they're_ the persistent ones alright."

"What do you mean?" Filia asked, puzzled by the statement and glancing back up at him.

"Hmm?" Xelloss asked, arching a brow and then giving a grin. "Oh, this and that! So tell me Filia, would mind terribly coming up here with me? I'd really hate for them to find me just because I decided to let _you_ find me."

Filia blinked, squinting up at him again, she was starting to get dizzy from trying to look up at him this way. "What do you mean? Why _did_ you let me find you?"

"Boredom mostly, also…" He grinned down at her smugly. "The longer you stand down there talking to a tree the crazier you seem. Then again, dragons are probably quite used to that I suppose!"

She glowered up at him as he tittered down at her and grinned darkly up at him.

"Is that so?" She stated daintily, eyeing her finger nails femininely. "Well, I suppose I have no choice. I mean I'd use mase-sama to tear down that tree with you in it, but ah… that poor tree…"

"Besides, I'd just phase out." Xelloss agreed grinning at her smugly and she frowned up at him, unable to resist the urge to stick her tongue out.

His grinned widened and she rolled her eyes with a huff, climbing up the tree with ease and plopping down in the space he provided her nest to his trunk. Little demonic bastard that he was he simply sat on the edge of the tree limb, not bending it in the slightest.

"You're like a cat, aren't you Xelloss?" She assessed, the idea just coming to her for the first time.

"No more than you are." He replied tightly, not sure whether or not to be offended by her statement.

"I suppose so." She sighed, eyeing him lazily. "So tell me cat, how _did _you earn the eternal love of this whole island?"

_Well I suppose **cat** is better than garbage…_ He reasoned evenly, settling on his branch before beginning his tale.

"It was about forty or so years ago…" He mused, the images playing across his mind as though it was yesterday. "Only back then, it was not an island I came too, but rather a town, a town called Viola."

"Viola?" Filia echoed and he nodded, not breaking stride as he toyed with a wrinkle on his cape.

"Yes. I came to the town to follow a lead on a mysterious priest-king who had been exorcising demons to prove his might to the land." He went on, arching cold brow as Filia let out a little gasp.

"And you killed him, didn't you?" Filia assed darkly, glaring at him. "To avenge your own kind then?"

"Oh no." Xelloss replied calmly, wagging a finger at her. "That would have been an unnecessary waste of my time. No, you didn't listen to what I just said. He was exorcising demons to prove his might to the people he was ruling over. Why, when I met him I immediately determined him to be the worst sort of tyrant…"

He grinned evenly, arching his finger once more. "A spoiled one!"

"A spoiled tyrant?" Filia repeated in confusion and Xelloss nodded delicately.

"Oh yes, quite so. Thus I decided to start randomly stealing things from him!" Xelloss declared proudly, remembering it with a fond smile. "I'd phase right in, steal something in broad daylight in front of everyone and that silly priest was never able to catch me!"

Filia blinked, unsure to be disturbed or amused… finally she settled on a twitching grin. "Oh? Well, he must have been a very inexperienced priest then…"

"Not at all, but no priest is equipped to deal with me, of all monsters!" Xelloss replied easily, cracking an eye and arching a finger. "But that was just the sort of impression he left on his subjects, and so thus they overthrew him with ease! Of course by then I had driven the last bit of sanity out of him…"

Filia still was uncertain how she felt about this tale so she just scowled at him like she was scolding a small child. "Really Xelloss, and then why do _they_ all love you so much?"

"Well after he was dethroned I really didn't need all of that stuff I'd stolen so I just gave it back to all of them!" He grinned, stroking his chin fondly. "So naturally they declared me many grand titles and I left them to start their new life. I don't really need titles, my name sort of says it all, but they're still nice, ne?"

Filia smiled softly, looking far away as it dawned on her that he probably had no idea just what he'd done for this town. It was obvious to her that their sheer faith in him and themselves had allowed their small town to prosper so much that they had been forced to relocate. He had freed and brought happiness to an entire town. Did he know?

"Xelloss…" Filia asked, her eyes appraising his expressionless face hopefully. "Do you know…"

"What I did for them?" He finished with s smug grin. "Naturally. But that's not why I did it!"

"Then why did you do it?" Filia asked, perplexed.

"Why do you think?" He asked, cracking an eye with a wide grin. "It was far more interesting this way!"

"Xelloss… you…" Filia twitched, her hand finding her mase from beneath her skirts.

_Sorry tree, but I can't let this go unpunished!_

* * *

"Say ladies…" Jarrek stated calmly, apprising the barely clad women with a shrewd glance. "I have a thought…"

"What is it Mr. Jarrek?" A taller one sporting dark plum asked expectantly.

"Yes, we'll do anything! You're so wise and kind!" Another agreed, tugging on her lavender locks nervously. "Master Xelloss was truly wise to choose one such as you as his manager."

Jarrek beamed, spreading his arms grandly. "Ah, such truly beautiful ladies! Alright, hehere is a secret that I have told no other ladies. Master Xelloss' secret fantasy!"

The room made a collective gasp and Jarrek nodded solemnly. "Oh yes, you see… to him clothes are immaterial, entirely so, he is a demon after all. In fact, for him to wear clothes everyday is truly a burden…"

"Ohh…" They moaned, one chiming up with a "Poor Xelloss!"

"Yes…" Jarrek agreed sadly, hanging his own head. "Poor Xelloss… But you see, this is his true wish, for all of you to shed your clothes and paint your bodies in bold violet! So that you may feel the freedom that has been kept from him for so very long!"

"Yes, and maybe, we can finally sleep with him!" One chimed up, looking to her friend for agreement.

"Yes!" She agreed, slamming her fist into her palm pointedly. "I have been trying to come up with a way to impress him, this might just be it!"

"Maybe he'll sleep with all of us!" Another added eagerly, bouncing up and down giddily.

"Oooh! A Xelloss orgy!" Another cooed and there was a collective squeal of "Yea!"

Jarrek dropped a jaw, righting it quickly a small pout on his features.

_...These girls may actually be worse than me…_

* * *

"And so it has come to this, has it Xelloss?" The actor that was Lord Dynast asked, glowering across the stage to the impassive Xelloss impersonator as he inspected his nails.

"I still see no need to fight over this matter Lord Dynast…" He replied coolly. "Afterall, it is I who has the love of our fair Zelas. You, my once great lord, are barely worth the love of a dragon's pet fishmonger."

"A dragons pet… fishmonger?" Amelia and Zelgadiss mouthed silently, giving each other a mortified gaze.

"Who wrote this?" Zelgadiss mouthed to her in horror and Amelia shrugged, shaking her head in awe.

"Be as that may!" Dynast stated darkly, pulling loose his sword and brandishing it bluntly. "You, servant, are my only competition for the fair Zelas' hand! Have at you, Sir Fishmonger!"

"What is with the fish mongering!" Zelgadiss whispered, earning a loud shush from the row in front of him.

"Sorry…" He blanched, leaning back in his chair and earning a supporting smile from Amelia for his effort.

"Yes. Let us settle this affair for once and all, great Lord Dynast!" Xelloss declared boldly, pulling out his own sword. It occurred to both of the slayers that Xelloss had never once been seen with a sword; then again… at the rate this play was deteriorating who really cared at this point?

"You are no match for me, Xelloss. Not I, for I am a Lord and you are just Servant!" He cried, thrusting forward and the crowd gasped as Xelloss narrowly parried, thrusting back with his own sword. The blades danced and Dynast easily disarmed Xelloss, sending his sword flying into the audience. The audience gasped, and one lucky fan actually got knocked unconscious by it. The even luckier one seated next to him collected it quickly, brandishing it proudly for all the room to see.

"And now I have you, Xelloss!" Dynast declared, swinging his sword low and taking out his ankles, causing him to fall back to the ground and the audience to let out a collective gasp as Dynast swung his sword back over his head for the finishing blow.

"No!" Came the forced feminine scream as Zelas ran on stage, naturally jumping in front of Xelloss just in time for the blade to cut "her" down instead.

"Saw it coming." Zelgadiss muttered, crossing his arms in disgust as the man next to him chewed on his nails in anticipation.

"Mistress!" Xelloss cried, holding his slain mistress to his bosom and glaring up at Dynast in accusation. "What have you done?"

The lights faded, leaving only two beams; one on the sobbing Xelloss as he clutched his dead mistress and the other on Dynast as he walked to the other side of the stage, snow falling down from above to set the ambiance.

"At last, cruel irony but in the end, would this not just be my lot?" He asked, gazing off into nowhere before glancing at his "blood-stained" blade. "Ah yes, this is the end for me as well, Darling Zelas, wait! For in only moments, transported death's swift wings, I shall fly to greet you!"

"Unh!" He cried, thrusting his blade through his "Heart" and falling forward in disgrace.

"Oh! No, Dynast!" Xelloss cried, setting his mistress aside and crawling to Dynast's side. "Even in the next life, the only one who shall have my mistress' love is _myself_, and myself alone!"

The audience watched in horror, albeit for Amelia and Zelgadiss it was a different sort of horror, as he pushed Dynast over and retrieved the sword with dark determination. Then he met the eyes of the audience, and thrust the sword through his "heart", only he collapsed backwards, falling with almost angelic grace as he hit the stage. The cries and sobs of the audience echoed his fall and after they died down to mournful weeping Hellmaster came back on stage.

The small Hellmaster glanced from the fallen actors to the audience and spread his arms with a pained shrug.

"But… why?" He asked, and then the curtain fell.

Zelgadiss and Amelia sat in shock as the audience around them stood to their feet, applauding madly, whistles and cheers all around.

"Mr… Zelgadiss?" Amelia asked, recovering first and turning to look at the stunned chimera. "Was it just me, or was that whole play only about twenty minutes?"

"Yes, thank the Gods." He muttered, shaking himself out of it and sitting up in his chair. "A whole twenty minutes that I can never get back."

"Let's go, Amelia." He muttered, standing up and offering her his hand.

Amelia grinned, taking it warily. "Maybe you should write a play, Mr. Zelgadiss. It's bound to be better than this."

"Yes…" Zelgadiss mused aloud, going over the idea in his mind. "It would be a play about revenge, and murder. A tragic hero who must learn to protect his heart from the shadows which threaten to consume it…"

"That sounds like a play about you, Mr. Zelgadiss." Amelia stated pleasantly, giving him a disarming grin.

Zelgadiss blushed, looking away nervously. "Really? You think so? I mean there are a _few _similarities but hardly…"

"There they are!" A voice cried and they saw that their path to the exit was being blocked by that guy that had been sitting in the row before them and an army of purple suited ushers. "They were heckling the great Xelloss."

Zelgadiss blinked. "Well, I mean I call him a fruitcake on occasion but…"

"Yes, they were heckling his lines the whole way though!" Another patron agreed and Zelgadiss sighed, hitting himself in the forehead. This was going to a bad place, he could just tell.

"Fine." He stated coolly, arching a brow and crossing his arms. "But let me just say this, your play mocks Xelloss more than anything I've said to him over the past three years I've known him."

"Uhn…" Cried the writer, who had joined the conversation to see what all the fuss was over. He clutched his heart and fell to his knees. "Oh great Xelloss, say it isn't so!"

"How dare you offend our most prestigious playwright!" The lead usher declared, thrusting a finger into the air. "Get them!"

"Amelia, let's take the high road." Zelgadiss offered, holding out his hand once more and Amelia nodded shortly.

"Right, on three." She declared, taking it and they each spread their free hands commandingly.

"One… two… three… **_LEVITATION!_**" They declared, hovering high above the crowd.

They looked down in despair and then met each others gaze; each reflecting back at the other the same pained amusement.

"_**RAYWING!**_" They declared in unison, and then they shot through the roof, Zelgadiss leading the way.

"Look, Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cried pointing down at the street where the patrons were spilling out of the theater and pointing up at them.

"Persistent bastards, aren't they?" He muttered, shaking his head. "Honestly, some people just can't take constructive criticism."

"Look at all of those torches!" She cried anxiously and Zelgadiss blinked, doing just that.

"Where in the hell do you think they got them?" He asked, awed despite himself.

"Stage props?" She offered thoughtfully and he sighed, shaking his head.

"Right." He stated darkly, pulling her across the sky in a new direction. "Well, there is only one way out of this."

"Let's go find their fruitcake king for them…"

* * *

A roaring crowd ran by the shop as Lina and Gourry took turns mercilessly devouring the different dishes set before them.

"Hey!" A man declared, storming in after noticing the light from outside the shop window. "What are you doing in my restaurant! Why are you eating all of my food! This was meant to last all month!"

"Er… quick!" Lina yelped, dashing back towards the kitchen doors. "Out the back, Gourry!"

"Right!" He cried, following her out into the alley as they dashed away.

"Hey!" The shop owner protested heading back out onto the main street.

"Those brats ate all of my food!" He yelped and then two other nearby shop owners exited their own shops.

"Ours too!" One cried.

"And they left all of the lights on!" The other yelled. "I hate that!"

"Purple oil is really expense." Another agreed.

"Yeah, but it just burns so beautifully." The first stated, and they all nodded their agreement.

"Well…" He stated, holding his torch high. "After them too!"

"Yeah!"

* * *

"Ah ladies, you look beautiful!" Jarrek beamed, nodding appreciatively. They were now purple from head to toe, but they were… er… _form-fit_ as it were.

"Now…" He began.

"Not so fast!" A voice cried, as one of the male patrons barged in. "We've had about enough of this, it's obvious that Lord Xelloss has been taken advantage of by those of you he calls his friends."

He looked past the nervous Jarrek to the nude women behind him, glowering and giving a dark snort.

And then, he gaped openly. "Melissa?"

"Oh Fred, honey…" She moaned, stepping back and forth nervously. "This isn't what… er! He made us do it! Yeah, he took full advantage of us, right girls!"

"Yeah!" They cried, nodding innocently. "Completely!"

The irony of this situation was not lost on Jarrek but he really didn't appreciate it much.

"After him!" The mob cried, and he ran screaming from the shop.

And so the chase was on, Amelia and Zelgadiss in the sky, Lina and Gourry taking the back alley route, and Jarrek with the mob on his heels.

They were all closing in on the tree, Zelgadiss spotted it first, and the Lina spotted the chimera and the princess landing before the tree and rushed up to join them breathlessly.

Jarrek saw all of this and ran faster, only to slip on that very same banana peel Filia had discarded from her shoulder last episode and land flat on his face, the tree a mere twenty feet away.

"Wait!" He cried, holding up a hand desperately. "I can explain! You see…"

Just then, Filia's mase made contact with the tree limb she and Xelloss had been sitting on. With a little flip she landed on the branch above as Xelloss and the branch came crashing down out of the tree and onto the ground for the entire town to see.

"Er… see! I do know him!" He finished quickly, pointing at the stunned mazoku as Xelloss sat up warily. "And he'd just love to sign a few autographs, you bet!"

Xelloss blinked, saw the crowd closing in on him and sighed, slamming his fist against the tree to shake the laughing dragoness from its branches.

She gasped and fell flat across his lap, causing the exact reaction from the crowd he had anticipated. They all halted with a collective gasp and he grinned.

"Right, well now that the gang's all here…" He grinned, and then opened a small cut into the astral plane and they were gone.

Well not quite…

Jarrek blinked, looking from the empty spot beneath the tree where the six slayers had been standing previously to the stunned crowd. Then, they all whirled around to face him, and those faces were far from friendly.

"Oh… crap…"


	40. Episode 040: Missing Mist!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

* * *

**********Episode 040: Missing Mist? **

**********

* * *

********The Phoenix is Back in Town!  
**

* * *

"We're lost aren't we, Lina?" Gourry asked, blinking around the treeline suspiciously. "I'm sure of it cause I know I've seen this tree before…."

"If even Gourry can notice it, we really must be lost." Zelgadiss stated dryly, crossing his arms as he and Amelia watched Lina tug on her hair in irritation.

"Arrgh! Why me?" She growled, stamping her foot in frustration. "I'm telling you I memorized that map and we should be near a town or something!"

"Oh dear, you know Lina..." Xelloss spoke up coyly, cracking an eye at the fuming sorceress. "If you'd just let me take a glance at that map…"

"Don't you dare feel guilty, Miss Lina!" Filia cut in quickly, pulling free her mase and beating it against her hand twitch a twitch of her brow. "If you had let this filthy monster see it there'd be nothing left for us to find by now."

"Oh my!" Xelloss replied, crossing his arms and turning away snidely. "Well there would still be that useless fiancé of yours, ne? Obviously he needs you to find him as he has yet to find us…"

Filia growled darkly as her hair perked up, channeling her rage.

"Or maybe…" Xelloss added, placing a thoughtful finger to his chin and grinning as her pointedly. "Maybe he's found someone else to go and play fiancé for!"

"You! Xelloss! You take that back!" Filia yelped, swinging mace-sama high as she chased the tittering mazoku around the woods.

"That's it!" Lina yelled, rolling up sleeves that weren't there and raising her hand ominously. "I'm leveling this whole forest, if they're just gonna do it anyway at least I can blow off some steam first."

"Lina…" Zelgadiss cut in warningly.

"Say…" Gourry spoke up in a whispered, eyeing the roughage curiously. "Did you guys hear something?"

There came from the bushes yet another ominous rustle and then a small furry foot stepped out into the open.

A bright, Robin's Egg Blue furry little foot…

"Lokkin!" Amelia squealed running over and scooping him up into her arms as the Grin Master tried in vein to wrench his way out of her grip, his head thankfully facing away from his only true weakness.

"Great. The little sicko teen-bunny is back." Zelgadiss muttered with an annoyed twitch. Still, Lina was sure she saw a smirk on that stone face for a moment there.

"Not a bunny!" Lokkin declared from the princess arms, admitting defeat and tucking his little paws behind his head with a knowing grin. "And you're just jealous, eh Stony!"

Gourry and Xelloss laughed and Zelgadiss glowered.

"What's wrong Zel?" Lina chided knowingly. "Afraid of missing the bunny and grabbing somewhere impolite?"

"Not a bunny!" Lokkin protested violently as the chimera snorted derisively.

"You're one to talk, Lina." He replied coolly, crossing his arms pointedly. "The only reason why even Gourry hasn't noticed those greedy little looks you've been shooting him is because he's so tall."

"It's not him!" Lina protested quickly, raising her hands in irritation. "It's the sword!"

"Oh really, Miss Lina…" Filia chided and the sorceress whirled around to face her.

"Oh?" Lina countered, tossing her red mane smugly. "And what about you Filia? You don't even really care that we left Jarrek behind do you? Not as long as you have Xelloss here to bicker with. But then again, I mean he is Xelloss…"

"What!" Filia snarled and Xelloss blinked, looking back and forth between the opera of emotions.

While this was all good and fun, well he couldn't help but wonder…

"Oh, my! Say, Lokkin…" He asked cheerily, flashing the Grin Master a grin to match Lokkin's own. Hmm, come to think of it, Dynast had stolen his smirk hadn't he? Xelloss found himself both flattered and annoyed by that. "But Miss Yade wouldn't have happened to have brought you here, would she?"

"Glad you asked, she told me you all were lost in the woods and I should come get you!" Lokkin replied smartly, his grin never faltering as the rest of the Slayers gawked. "She's waiting for all of you back in town!"

"Town?" Amelia repeated, glancing around the forest before looking down at the bright-blue nodding bundle in her arms. "What town Mr. Lokkin?"

"The town hidden in the mist!" He replied smartly, grinning back up at her, thus making her have to blink from the weird dizziness that staring into those oddly large humanistic eyes from upside down brought on.

"What mist?" Zelgadiss asked suspiciously, glancing up at the sunset-streaked sky that peeked down on them from the holes in the canopy.

"I dunno." He replied easily closing his eyes cheerily.

"Oh, why you're just loads of help, aren't ya?" Lina replied sarcastically, sitting down on a log and preparing to wait it out.

"Lina, I'm hungry." Gourry spoke up helpfully, joining her on the log. Lina blinked, looked at him once, felt the eyes of the others looking at her as she looked at him and responded by shoving him off the log and standing to her feet enraged.

"What!" She yelped nervously. "Can't I look at someone when they're talking to me? Oh! I'm sleeping somewhere else tonight!"

"Ow…" Was the only reply Gourry could manage before she stalked off into the treeline. "Wha… what did I do?"

"Oh, nothing you don't do every day, Gourry." Xelloss replied smartly, pulling a tea table out of nowhere, and tossing a feast on it. "Oh look. Food…"

"Food!" Gourry echoed, hopping to his feet refreshed. Then however, he glanced from the food to the direction that his sorceress had wandered off to. "But… Lina…"

"Hey!" Gourry declared, slapping his hand with a fist. "I know, I'll bring her some food. That'll make Lina feel better."

Xelloss watched in mild awe as Gourry determined that "some food" meant the entire table and proceeded to hoist it over his head and head into the woods declaring Lina's name all the way.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you did that on purpose, Xelloss." Zelgadiss stated in dark amusement, sitting down at one of the table-less chairs just in time for a new table to appear.

"Do _you_ know me better than that, Zel?" Xelloss asked delicately, pouring a glass of tea and pushing it off subtlety in Filia's direction.

"Do _you_?" Zelgadiss countered easily, missing the exchange as Filia debated whether or not to take a seat.

"Some days…" Xelloss replied, pouring the chimera a cup off coffee from the teaset causing the entire party to blink.

"Hey!" Filia yelped, just now noticing something. "That's my draconic tea set! When did you?"

"Oh, last night… while you were sleeping." He replied grinning as the dragoness went both scarlet and speechless.

"Pervert." Zelgadiss muttered, taking a sip of his coffee smugly.

"You know…" Xelloss stated casually, tapping his chin at the thought. "I think I saw a river a ways back…"

The chimera spit out his coffee violently, breaking Filia out of her shock as the women and the Grin Master blinked at his outburst. Xelloss grinned wanly, offering him a handkerchief.

"Fair enough." The chimera growled, snatching it out of the monster's hand and Xelloss poured Amelia a cup of juice from the same tea set, once again earning some odd looks and a twitch from Filia.

"Just how long before this magic mist shows up, anyways?" Zelgadiss muttered, taking another sip to calm his nerves. Nerves, yeah, that was it. Something was affecting them, all of them. Even Xelloss had felt it. What was it he had asked?

Miss Yade wouldn't have happened to have brought you here, would she?

_Was Yade the one behind these weird feelings? What was Xelloss hiding anyway?_

"Here!" Xelloss declared, pulling the chimera from his reverie as he pushed the cup of juice towards Amelia and pulled a small box of tiles from his bag. "Let's play a game while we wait, eh? Talking seems a little hazardous right now afterall!"

"Yea!" Amelia agreed, joining them eagerly Lokkin still in her lap. "That's a great idea Mr. Xelloss!"

Zelgadiss smirked, settling in and taking another sip indulgently. "You really are the master of avoiding the subject, aren't you Xelloss?"

"Oh, Miss Lina does give me a run though, doesn't she?" He replied with a sheepish grin, rubbing his head and cracking an eye at Filia. "Come on Filia, if you win I'll give you back your tea set!"

"Oh?" She echoed in disbelief, a small evil smile gracing her features as she pulled out her chair and took a seat as well.

"You're going down, Namagomi!"

* * *

"Lina?" Gourry asked, blinking around the forest, table still hoisted above his head. "Where are you, Lina?"

"You really do plan to follow me forever, don't you, Gourry?" Came the sad but bemused reply and Gourry blinked, turning to find her sitting against some tree roots.

"I said so, didn't I?" He replied simply and Lina couldn't help but grin at that. Everything was just so darn simple with him; she found she sort of envied that.

"Yes you did, silly me to forget." She replied tiredly. It was getting darker but his hair was still so bright… and his eyes…

What was wrong with her? Why was she having such thoughts now?

"Say Lina, I was hungry and Xelloss got me some food, but I had to share it with you too. You know?" He asked hopefully, setting down the table and waiting for her smile to come back.

There! Lina had such a pretty smile!

"Oh Gourry… you…" Lina shook her head, cutting off her words. "Nah, lets not talk tonight. Let's just put things in instead of out, eh Gourry?"

"Em hm!" He replied and they shared a grin, ripping into the feast before them.

* * *

The dark form within the cave chuckled, watching the scene in the reflection of aquifer below him.

Red eyes peeked out from the darkness of the stalactites and they trembled as his laughter shook the cave.

"Come slowly, come silently. It matters not to me. By the end of the night you shall come no further…"

"And all of your words will be replaced with screams…"


	41. Episode 041: Repose and Free Stew!

**DISCLAIMER: _I do not own The Slayers... (n.-)_**

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**********Episode 041: Repose and Free Stew! **

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********What Would Freud Say?  
**

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_"Where am I?" Filia wonders softly. She glances from here to there and sees only shimmers of reality. Words mingle amongst them as as she passes but they glow brighter, vocalizing their messages._

**_"Maybe he's found someone else to go and play fiancé for!" _**

_She hisses, wrenching away from Xelloss' words as though they are poison._

_"**And what about you Filia?**"_

_She backs into Lina's voice and steps away from the red glowing fractal, unable to miss the rest of it's message as it continued to play._

_"**You don't even really care that we left Jarrek behind do you? Not as long as you have Xelloss here to bicker with. But then again, I mean he is Xelloss…**"_

_"That's not true!" She protests but the swirling message continues without any regard for her arguments. Nay, instead it only repeats pointedly…_

_"**I mean he is Xelloss…**"_

_She gives another cry and wrenches away only to slam into a bright purple and gold fractal that responds by tittering its message down to her._

_"**Come on Filia, if you win I'll give you back your tea set!**"_

_Alright… She thinks slowly… this was getting weird…_

_"Oh wait!" She cries happily, it dawning on her that she has indeed won back her teaset already and so thus she must be dreaming!_

_The fractals merge, the blur becoming a crystal clear image of her asleep in the crevice of a tree._

_"Here I go!" She cries happily, falling back into her body._

_My eyes are still closed… Wait… what's this!_

_"EEEEiii!" She screams, sitting up and wrenching her knees to the side as she glowers at the trespassing mazoku. "Xelloss!"_

_"Oh! I'm sorry, Filia!" He laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "I was just trying to steal back my teaset!"_

_He grins, tackling her back down, her skirts flying up and blocking her vision. "But while I'm down here…"_

_"No!" She cries, kicking hard. "My virtue is not a teaset!"_

_She sits up in a huff, slamming her skirts back down._

_"No one ever said it was, toots!" Come the response from the pint-sized bunny monstrosity that has apparently taken Xelloss' form. "But while I'm down here…"_

* * *

Filia's screams were so loud she woke herself.

Xelloss laughed, looking down at her from his spot in the tree.

"Say?" He prodded gleefully. "Have a bad dream, Filia?"

Filia glowered at him, tossing her mase up at him in the tree, only to have it slam back down and knock the unsuspecting dragoness unconscious.

Xelloss burst into a series of giggles, and fell out of the tree, landing beside her and casting her a large grin from flat on his back.

"Well! Now that's certainly one way to get some uninterrupted shut eye! Oh dear…"

* * *

_"Where are you at, river?" Zelgadiss asks himself darkly as he searches in vein for the river that Xelloss had said was back this way._

_"There you are Mr. Zelgadiss!" Amelia cries, jumping out from the bushes as she grabs his hand. "Come quick! I've found it!"_

_"Er… found what, Amelia!" He asks in confusion as he allows her to pull him through the roughage._

_"This!" She cries, throwing back a veil of ivy to reveal a giant waterfall. "Isn't it perfect Mr. Zelgadiss!"_

_"Um…" He blinks dumbly, the feeling not one he was particularly used too. "Perfect for what exactly!"_

_"Well you want me to kiss you right?" She asks sweetly, clasping her hands together as she nods to the giant waterfall. "All you have to do is jump!"_

_Zelgadiss looks at her, really looks at her and suddenly it occurs to him, he's dreaming. Yes…_

_But that is what his sub-conscious was trying to tell him wasn't it?_

_Amelia offers him her hand and he smiles softly, taking it._

_And then they jump…_

* * *

Zelgadiss blinked open his eyes and smiled softly at the tiny form of the sleeping princess. He then frowned violently at the sight of the loudly snoring Grin Master cuddled into her side.

"No!" He suddenly cried shrilly, popping up and looking at the stunned chimera in horror before shaking his head pitifully. "They wanted me to sing in high D. And I couldn't! I couldn't do it! I couldn't…"

Lokkin then promptly passed back out and Zelgadiss shook his head, re-closing his own eyes.

_When **is** this mist going to show up?_

* * *

Xelloss sighed, phasing back into his tree to keep watch.

"So that's how it's going to be is it, Miss Yade?" He muttered darkly, allowing his eyes to drop open in the solitude of the night.

"Very well…" He grinned, clasping his hands behind his head and sneaking another glance at the still unconscious dragoness. "I'll play along…"

"For now anyway…"

* * *

Lina couldn't sleep. She was hungry, annoyed, and cold.

But that was not why she couldn't sleep.

No, she couldn't sleep because the jellyfish had taken first watch as usual only tonight she couldn't stop herself from watching him… well… watch…

"Oh, forget it!" She groaned, getting up and putting her cape back on irritably.

"Lina?" Gourry asked as she came over and joined him.

"You wouldn't happen to have any dumplings lying around, would ya, Gourry?" She asked hopefully and he shook his head darkly.

"Not a single one." He stated glumly and for a moment they both hung their heads in a silent moment of mourning for their consumed food.

"Wanna go looking for mushrooms?" She offered, perking up instantly and he grinned, hopping to his feet.

"Hey! Let's look for some berries too!" He agreed.

"And maybe some roots!" She stated eagerly, rubbing her hands a new found light in her eyes that he matched as they clasped hands and looked dramatically at each other only one thought in both of their minds.

"AND THEN WE"LL MAKE STEW!" They declared in unison, eyeing the forest as though it was a fertile and untapped market for stew preparation.

Then they bolted off into the treeline.

* * *

Meanwhile, the dark force in the cave gave a rumbling growl that reverberated around the entire cavern.

"What's taking them so long!" The cave echoed deeply.

_Maybe I should put out a sign that says free stew or something…_

"Free doom stew!" It cackled evilly and the cave shook in manically laughter.

_No second helpings…_


	42. Chapter 42

**AUTHORS NOTICE! (n.n)**

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I first began writing fanfiction back in college to help hone my writing. Now I write too much to ever seem to find any time to finish these. (n.-)

That said! Due the accidental sadness I created last time I retired I would like to ask for your help! If any of you would like to complete one of my started works for me, please contact me via email or PM! (n.n)

As for Crossfire, I REALLY want to complete it so I'm going to make it a Valentines Day. That way, even if it takes four years, I'll get it to whoever is left still reading these. Promise. (n.-)

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Thanks guys! - **N**


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